


The Itch

by StripesnBooks



Series: Homes After the Mountain [1]
Category: Underswap (Fandom), Undertale (Video Game), underfell (fandom)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Eventual Smut, Everyone Has a Past, F/F, F/M, Female Reader, Multi, Multiverse, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, Reverse Harem, Shit goes down, Slow Burn, megaverse, missing amalgamates, people are trying to kill you, theres a bunch of AUs at once, would you smooch a skeleton, you are VERY violent, you're in a gang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 00:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 111,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StripesnBooks/pseuds/StripesnBooks
Summary: You're in a gang situated near Ebbot City, and you live for the violence. You're not without your morals, they're just... flexible. But when one of your monster friends invites you to Grillbys, they might have accidentally brought you into a world of trouble. Can you keep your new skeleton friends from learning of your gang affiliations? What will their brothers do when they see your LV and EXP? And why are the amalgamates disappearing one by one, including your best friend Reap?Featuring friendly amalgamates, drama, high tensions, and traumatized skeletons, what will you do as your list of people to protect grows far faster than you ever expected?





	1. Taking Out the Trash is Your Favorite Chore

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [So Close, Yet...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11734215) by [RaccoonSinQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonSinQueen/pseuds/RaccoonSinQueen). 
  * Inspired by [Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140) by [Tyrant_Tortoise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrant_Tortoise/pseuds/Tyrant_Tortoise). 



You took a glance around the small casino before picking up the tray of drinks with a sigh. Working the floor always a pain, but you couldn’t have fun every night. You brought the drinks back to the game of blackjack, memorizing the face of the man who grabbed your ass. He'd pay for it later. 

 

“Thanks sweet thing,” another patron called, handing you a nice tip.

 

You gave him an extra big smile. “Would you like the special for your generosity?”

 

“Depends on what the special is.”

 

“a little sugar for your trouble.” He agreed and received a kiss on the cheek before you went back to your rounds. But first you stopped by the dealer, Leonard. “Give red polo shirt hell. Violation of rule 5.” He nodded absently at your murmured request. 

 

Work was uneventful, and you said your thanks that it was a short shift. You gathered your tips, changed, and clocked out with a polite goodbye to your co-workers and friends. You hated that job. You could only take solace in the fact that you weren’t the only one working there that got… itchy. But you had to put that out of your mind. You were meeting Reap today at that bar, Grillbys. It had been too long since you saw Reap, but that’s what happened when you live near the Tale/Fell border. Unconsciously, your hands clenched and unclenched at your sides. Shit. that creep had really made you itchy. It would be fine. Reap always cooled you down, somehow. And you had to be on your best behaviour. This was a monster bar, and they probably already had a poor view of humans as it was. They had first come up, when, five years ago? Then the Swap clan was two years later, and the Fells about two more after. The town was still trying to figure out and why so many monsters kept coming out of the mountain, but hey, it had done wonders for infrastructure grants.

 

You followed your phone’s directions to the bar, getting itchier with each passing second. As you were getting into the more monster-centric part of town, there was more and more racist/speicist graffiti on the buildings. You saw one human shoulder check a monster and it made you want to cross the street and do something about it like- no, now cool down. It’s just the itch. You’re fine. As the bar loomed around the corner you could see patrons through the windows and were surprised at the relative quiet of the place. Bars were normally much more raucus than this. Your steps sped up when you spotted Reap in a corner booth, so much that you almost didn’t notice the bouncer as he threw you a weighted glance. Some sort of wolf man? Nice. You gave him what you hoped was a friendly smile, but you couldn’t be sure when the itch was so strong. He didn’t stop you from entering, which was a good sign. Reaper bird noticed and made a noise of greeting as you walked over.

 

“Hey Reap!” you could feel the itch fade already as you moved to sit across from your monster friend. His huge eye, taking up almost all of what you assumed to be his face, blinked happily. He had strange wings and very long legs that they never used for walking, which raised or lowered depending on how they were feeling.

 

“... Long time…” He said.

 

“Is it bad that I sometimes wish you’d get kicked out of your apartment so you can live with me?” you said affectionately.

 

“... Perhaps. But... you will find no judgement here…”

 

“I can always count on you for that.”

 

A monster waiter all in red and with what appeared to be horns appeared to take your order. They froze, however, when they saw you sitting across from Reap. “Uh…” you looked around and found that many patrons were giving you more than second glances. You weren’t the only human here, so why were they all staring? The itch started up again but Reap gave a low soothing croak.

 

“... Cider. y/n … i recommend… a burger…” Reap’s voice seemed to startle the waiter out of his shock as he apologized and began writing down your orders when you confirmed that you would try a burger. He quickly left. Had the bar been this quiet before you came?

 

“Sorry Reap, i didn’t mean to make you look bad, spending time with a human.” You apologized.

 

“... No. They are… staring at me… it is normal. I do not… get out much. Even… among monsters...” They raised their legs almost completely into their body. 

 

“Aw Reap, you’re making me feel special.” You smiled the gentlest smile you had worn all week. These smiles were only for your siblings and Reap. “I know going out is rough, but i’m happy that you do it to see me. Speaking of which,” you paused as the order arrived, distracted by the heavenly smell and thanking the waiter. “Why did you want to meet here?”

 

“... Wanted you to try… you’ll like the burger. Tell me… about your week.”

 

And so the conversation went, as you told Reap of all your adventures in your jobs, about the new clothing you picked up, and about the video game you were playing, among other things. Reap wasn’t a big talker, content to let you ramble. When they wanted to say something they would move their beak back and forth on their head until you finished your sentence and let them have their turn. It was a system you had developed quickly to help their shy nature. You asked a few questions of your own, hoping they would finally tell you about their job, but as usual it was always about their families. You weren’t sure why they had three families. Probably a monster culture thing you still didn’t understand.

 

“- So i finally get Allyn to call me, and he says he hasn’t even heard of the game! So now we’re waiting for our sister to let us know if she’s interested in a family game night.” you had no idea how long you had been talking. The food had been amazing, even if you still weren’t used to monster food dissolving in your throat like that. The bar had gotten louder in the past hours as it was well after dark, and a group of dogs had come in and seemed to be playing a card game. Reap suddenly started moving their beak object like crazy.

 

“... it’s… late. Let’s go home…” they stood, or, hovered out of the booth, and you followed.

 

“Alright. Want me to walk you home? You know how I worry.” Just as you went to turn around, you bumped into a monster. “Shit! I’m sorry.”

 

“‘S okay-” the skeleton stopped talking when he saw that you were human. Before you could react, Reap surprisingly spoke.

 

“Sans.”

 

The skeleton monster moved away from you to see Reap. “h-hey buddy. Long time no see.” He seemed to be trying to hide in his blue jacket. Was this Sans… scared of Reap? “you never come here.”

 

“Sharing… monster culture with a friend.” Reap was speaking more confidently than ever. “Come to drown… your sorrows?” the bar was quiet again. All eyes were on Reap. His legs had lowered all the way, making him look as big and intimidating as possible. Something told you to move near the door, so you did.

 

“y-yeah, something like that.” Sans could feel his sins crawling on his back, even more than usual. He had come here for a drink. Usually the only amalgamate that showed up was Endogeny and never this day of the week! Why couldn’t he just-!

 

The closer you got to the door, the more Reap pulled his legs to his comfortable medium, and the less he seemed… angry? No, that wasn’t right, and Reap never got angry. Unhappy. That was the best word you could come up with on the spot. So you waited right by the door as he finished.

 

“...There are things… worth feeling… and remembering…” with that, Reap moved past Sans, seeming back to normal as you left the bar together. “... I paid for you…”

 

You jolted out of your contemplation. “Oh, Reap! I’ll pay you back, how much was it?”

 

“... I paid… beforehand… we have been friends… for six months…”

 

You smiled, getting the meaning. “Then in six months, how about i take you somewhere i like and pay for you?”

 

“... I would like that…” Reap refused your offer of a walk home, and you two went your separate ways. As he made his way home, Reap congratulated themselves on their quick thinking. It was unlikely you would encounter another skeleton anytime soon, so you would be safe for now.

  
  


You went back to your apartment, trying to stay close to the unofficial human/monster borders for as long as possible. You couldn’t fight back a little bounce in your step. Reap was such a good friend! You wish any of your human friends were worthy of meeting him. But not yet. Downside of moving to a new town. You heard a ruckus coming from an alley to the side, closer to the human district. After a brief debate, you pulled on your mask and stalked closer to the noise. Some small group of humans was ganging up on someone in the shadows. You tied your hair back and watched, waiting for a reason to leave or interfere. None of them were your people, so you were about to go when you clearly heard: ‘monster scum’.

 

Well now, can’t have people like that going around and making the world more dangerous for good people like Reap! You reached into your bag and pulled out your heavy metal baton. It had been too long since you had gotten to use it.  The itch surged, but you let it, and just as one of them lifted what appeared to be a plank of wood to the poor monster, you dashed forward. The first: a hit from the shadows to his lower spine. A sickening crack. The others looked up to you. The second: a knife in the ribs, a twist, a scream.

 

“There’s another fucking monster!”

 

Ah, your mask had confused them. You lifted just enough to show your mouth, lipstick still intact and teeth pearly white. “All human i’m afraid.” the third: a hit to the back of the head, placed so that it probably wouldn’t kill him. You pulled your mask back on. The other two ran, and you turned to the monster who now stared at you with his mouth wide open. Surprisingly, there was no fear, merely shock. “Oh no,” you said sarcastically, “Looks like a robbery gone wrong for some poor humans. Good thing there aren’t any monsters in the area that could be held unreasonably responsible.”

 

They got the hint, standing and slowly walking around you without taking their eyes from your mask. Making sure you weren’t about to turn on them. And then they dashed away. You bent down to dutifully remove all the cash from the rude people’s wallets, ignoring the sobbing of the stabbed man going into shock as his fingers fumbled to type 911 into his phone. You didn’t stop him, and left with your loot long before you heard the sirens make their way to the area. You found a place to duck in and hide while you removed your mask and assessed the bloodstains on your clothes. Your clothes had been dark anyway. Why did you use your knife! You hadn’t noticed that it was in your hand until it was too late.

 

The monster you had… helped was making his way to his own home. It took him seconds to get there, but hours to come to terms with what had just happened. He had just watched one human probably kill others. Possibly in an attempt to help him? He hadn’t wanted anyone dead though! The only thing that was any reassurance to the skeleton was that he’d know to avoid you if he saw you again.

 

He had gotten a good look at your Soul stats. Specifically, your LV and your name.


	2. In Which Stretch Gets Little Sleep and Proceeds to Have a Bad Day

Stretch bounced his leg as took a long drag from his cigarette, debating. Should he report that human? But the human cops could just pull him in for not reporting it sooner… they could even charge him as an accomplice! But that human, they had viciously attacked- but they had saved him. He blew smoke out of his nose hole, pulling off his orange sweater and chucking it on the floor. His leg bounced faster. The one in the mask had killed one of his attackers. And that other one had lost a lot of blood. He shivered as he remembered that flash before the knife embedded itself in one of the people who had been attacking him. He could tell the royal guard? But what good would that do. Their patrols away from the Embassies were few and far between, and what would he tell them? They couldn’t arrest humans. He could just warn Blue? But he didn’t want his brother to worry. Ugh. and he hadn’t even gotten to see the murderer’s face. Maybe that mask was a gang thing. He could research later. It seemed like it would be another sleepless night.

  
  
  


“PAPY! GET UP LAZYBONES! I MADE BREAKFAST!”

 

“but sans, i’m _bone_ -tired.” Stretch called through the door.

 

“WHAT! I EVEN WAITED UNTIL THE RIDICULOUS HOUR OF EIGHT IN THE MORNING TO WAKE YOU, JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. NOW COME EAT BEFORE IT GETS COLD!”

 

Stretch sighed in resignation and took a shortcut to the dining room just in time to see Blue walk in.

 

“Could you not use the stairs for once?” Blue tutted in disapproval as he went about serving a tray of glittery eggs and toast. He rolled his eyes as Stretch drenched his toast in honey. “Really, brother, that is unhealthy! But since I must soon report for duty, I have no time to rectify your breakfast choices.”

 

“You get off early today, right?”

 

“Yup!”

 

“maybe we could go see a movie. there’s a napstabot marathon going on tonight, i heard.”

 

His light blue eyelights turned to stars. “REALLY?! IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE DID ANY PROPER BROTHERLY BONDING! I’LL MAKE US A SPECIAL DINNER BEFOREHAND TO CELEBRATE! THAN WE CAN WATCH THE GREATNESS THAT IS NAPSTATON TOGETHER ON THE SILVER SCREEN!” his smile reaches new heights, but Stretch has to ask, stopping his brother before he opens the door.

 

“Sans, have there been any reports of… pro-monster gang activity?”

 

The question is strange, he knows as soon as he says it. Before he can brush it off though, Blue answers. “There have been reports of some gangs recruiting monsters. But I feel like you are asking something different.”

 

“nevermind.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Stretch can’t stop thinking about the incident. How stupid he had been, to get into the situation. How cold he had been, to leave those humans to die. His hangover isn’t as bad as it might have been, so he decides he can concentrate on some research.

 

The gang activity in Ebott had always been there. There were several, but the two that got the most publicity appeared to be called the Morningstars, drugs and weapons dealers, and the Kings, most known for human and drug trafficking. But none of the associated symbols or trademarks matched his friend from the alley. The mask they had worn… it was an oval that covered their face, decorated by a mouth that ran from top to bottom that held shark-like teeth. That mask, coupled with the one wearing it… it conjured images of a beast that would devour all in its path without a second thought. Stretch found himself shuddering again. And yet he owed them his life, due to his 1 HP. ugh. He didn’t want to think. He was tired of thinking. He idly turned on the television to rid his mind of useless thoughts.

 

It didn’t feel like long until there was a knock at the door. Stretch pulled himself off the couch and opened the front door to find a familiar skeleton. Sans ‘classic’. The skeleton resembled his brother in build, although he was a bit taller and radiated a laid back aura that directly contrasted Blue’s uptight and energetic one. Another difference between the two was that this one looked like shit.

 

“‘sup classic?” Stretch drawled.

 

“gonna invite me in?” was the other’s tired reply, followed by a good natured smile that didn’t do a thing to hide the underlying exhaustion.

 

“i’ll consider it.” he moved aside and waved the other in, taking in the dark circles under his eye sockets and the stains on his blue jacket that appeared to be those of ketchup and alcohol. “late night at grillbys?”

 

“only after a late night at the lab.” Sans chuckled darkly.

 

“well get to it mr. universe coordinator. we all know you only visit when you need something.”

 

“‘s thoughts like that that make it hard for me to make any friends around here. But yeah, i came to ask for your help in the lab again.”

 

“you know why i quit, and unless it’s changed, i dont think i’ll be going back.”

 

With a sigh, Sans looked around the apartment. two bedrooms. One bathroom. One kitchen. Living area. Reminiscent of their houses in Snowdin. If the space was cut in half and put together with no real quality. “your apartment is pretty small. blue have to get rid of any toys? how much does he make as a royal guard now?”

 

Stretch growled. “Sans.” his voice was laced with warning.

 

“kinda makes you miss back when there were just two camps out of the mountain. embassy rooms were pretty nice. but now, me an paps got a real nice place. handy parking spot for that fancy car of his.” Sans shook his head with another chuckle. “he’s getting a day off to go to a mettaton live con-”

 

Stretch slammed his hand on the coffee table with a bang. “drop it, classic.” he growled through clenched teeth. “low blow, going after my brother like that. how would you like it if i pulled that shit, making vague insinuations that your papyrus can’t summon his blasters because of something he almost remembers, but every time he gets close his-”

 

“I get it, Stretch!” Sans shot to his feet, one eye blazing blue. “you think i ask for this? your undyne won’t talk to you after whatever it is you said to her last time, so they make me do it. tell me to do what it takes. you think i want this alpha timeline responsibility bullshit?!”

 

“get out, _classic_.” Stretch’s eye light burns orange in warning, and Sans takes deep, calming breaths. 

 

Suddenly he’s just some laid back skeleton again, an easy grin plastered on his face. “welp, i tried. looks like my work here is done. be seeing you, _papyrus_.”

 

And with the tension so thick a spear could get caught in it, he left the building.

  
  
  


Blue was very excited to make his special tacos for dinner. It felt like forever since he had been able to get home early to make something special for his brother and himself. Things had been, well, busy recently. They had moved apartments three times in the past two years, and after quitting his job at the royal laboratory, Stretch had gotten fired from his new job and still hadn’t found another. Blue insisted he could take care of them both, but Stretch was having none of it. The excitement faded a little. Why wouldn’t his brother just talk to him? They weren’t underground anymore, was there really still a need for secrets? As Blue leaned down to grab some taco shells, someone tripped over him, knocking him off balance to fall on his rear.

 

“Shit! Sorry, man.” Blue looked up to see a human woman apologizing while she picked up packs of ramen. “Totally wasn’t watching where i was going. You good?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern, human!” he posed dramatically.

 

You giggled at the little skeleton. Damn monsters were so cool. “Hope your taco shells are okay.”

 

“Ah, that is a problem. Would switching them out be unethical since it was I who possibly destroyed them…?”

 

“Hey, it’s my fault so I’ll buy those ones. You go ahead and grab the good ones.” You held out your hand for the box of taco shells.

 

“Nonsense! No one is at fault for such a mishap! I cannot ask you to pay for an item you didn’t need!” he protectively brought the box closer to him, and you had to keep from laughing. He was about a head shorter than you, but radiated confidence none the less.

 

“Alright, if you say so. If they’re too broken, could always sprinkle them into a kind of taco salad or something.”

 

“A taco salad?” His eye lights turned into stars. Damn that was cool. “I’ve never heard of that! What is it?”

 

You needed this monster to be your friend. They hadn’t avoided you or said anything to indicate they cared that you were a human, and they were a fucking skeleton, which was awesome. You described a taco salad, and they looked as if a whole new world had been opened up to them. “Wanna exchange numbers? I know all kinds of taco-related dishes, and ways to use broken ingredients. Oh, I’m y/n, by the way.” you grinned and held out your hand.

 

He shook it confidently. “I am the magnificent Blue! And I would love to exchange numbers! In fact, what are you doing tonight? Perhaps you could join my brother and I in this new experience of taco salads!”

 

“I would, in fact, love that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for dinner with Underswap Sans?


	3. Your Roommate Sucks But At Least They Leave You Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so excited about this that i'm putting this chapter out early. i don't know why i bothered to set a schedule if i'm going to wreck it immediately....
> 
> but anyway! have some skeleton shenanigans and a glance at our reader's real job!

You were delighted to be eating dinner with the two skeletons. You and Blue had kept up friendly conversation the whole while. Stretch was less than ecstatic. He didn’t want to begrudge Blue’s desire for friends, but he had hoped they could just have a brother’s night. He ignored your attempts to include him, joining the conversation only when Blue directed something at him. You were a bit annoyed, but he didn’t outright say anything rude, so it was fine. It was worth it to get to know Blue.

 

It would be good to have connections in the royal guard.

 

“-and when Alphys stopped trying to kill them, we both learned several things about human cooking!” Blue laughed at the memory.

 

“But then if you learned, why did I have to stop you from adding glitter to the taco salad?” you teased.

 

He blushed blue, his magic moving to his face as he stammered. “I-! I must have m-missed that part of the lesson!”

 

The brother, Stretch, was shooting you unfriendly looks again. You pointedly ignored them. If he didn’t want to be your friend, then fine. “Well, i’m sure there will always be more to learn! You’re already a better cook than I am, with how i saw you in the kitchen. I’m glad i could at least help chop vegetables.”

 

“No way! You were a great help!” he perks up considerably at the praise.

 

“Oh shoot, it’s late. I should be headed home.” Your glance at the clock had you concerned. You needed a good rest before tomorrow, and there were still a few things you hadn’t prepared. Blue failed at convincing you to stay longer or join them to go see the Napstabot marathon, and started cleaning up the table as the much taller older brother led you to the door. As you put a hand on the doorknob, he stopped you, turning you around.

 

“thanks for being so nice to blue. not a lot of humans like to stick around us.” his words were a compliment, but his tone was a threat. “but if you ever hurt him…” his grin was menacing, his eyes somehow seemed even darker than before?

 

But you stopped him with a short laugh. “You’re cute. Not as cute as your brother, but it’s sweet. But i have no intention of hurting him. Or letting anyone else hurt him, for that matter. Not everyone is so nice and lets me just assert myself in their kitchen, or gives me a free meal because I shared a recipe. Blue is now under my protection.” He looked at you as if you had just spoken in tongues. He honestly didn’t know how to react to you blowing off his threats and then saying that you’d protect his brother as well. It almost felt like… a challenge? But what kind? “I hope we can be friends too, Stretch.” he stared at your outstretched hand. “Not like we ever properly introduced ourselves anyway. I’m y/n, the human.”

 

He cautiously took your hand, and let you leave. But as you exited the door, his brain finally caught up to the present. He knew that name. You were the violent one in the alley. Well, shit.

  
  
  


The place smelled like shit. You didn’t have a problem with weed in general, but you had politely requested your roommate do it outside. Multiple times. You and Lisa didn’t interact too much, besides living in the same apartment. Sometimes you had to work around each other in the kitchen, or made deals about who could play their video games and when. But mostly you two stuck to your rooms. Except when friends came over.

 

“Lisa!” you banged on her door, “you and your friends light up in the living room again?!”

 

She poked her head out of the door, mousy curls bouncing. “Sorry, there were neighbors out so we had to stay inside.” she glanced down to your hands, noting the clenching and unclenching of your fists. “But I’ll spray something right away!”

 

“Do that,” you growled, “but next time, you guys don’t do it here. You do it outside or you don’t at all. Got it?”

 

She shot you a glare but nodded. She ducked back into her room, only to come back out with a thing of febreeze. “You’re never out for dinner. Where’d you go?”

 

She was trying to placate you. She had seen your tantrums, when your itch was getting out of control. The first time, around when you had first been randomly paired together by your shit housing company, you had been careful to only break your own things, but made sure she got the message that such mercy was only for when your itch was not caused by her. You had only had to make good on your threats once.

 

“Went to some monster bar with a friend last night. Was at a friend’s place tonight. Excellent food.” You moved into the kitchen to pull out a soda. The sugar should help you redirect your energy. You did have to prepare for tomorrow, anyway.

 

Lisa made a face. “Ew, really? Isn’t all their food made out of dead monsters or something? Freak cannibals.”

 

Your face hardened. You hadn’t gotten her opinion on monsters much, but her racism was unsurprising. “It’s made of magic moron. All the monsters were chill, and the friend I went with was a monster. My best friend, actually.”

 

Lisa backtracked. “I guess they aren’t all bad. But I could totally introduce you to more humans. Marvin wants your number.”

 

“Not interested in either. See ya.” and with that, you ducked into your room to pick out your outfits for tomorrow.

  
  
  


“Took your time, y/n.” Anny spits something, tobacco, presumably, to the ground as you walk up. “Boss was worried you got hurt or something.” he jerked a thumb at the door to the back room.

 

“That’s sweet of you, but you know I’m immortal, right?” you give him a reassuring pat as you step through the door, grinning at his eye roll. “Sorry boss! I know tonight’s important, so I grabbed my special stuff. Took a bit to make sure it was ready to go, but definitely my fault.”

 

Your boss pointed you to a chair next to them, and you obediently sat. “You’ll just have to memorize the facts that much faster,” Boss said. “You’re my primary guard tonight.”

 

Jackie from across the table spoke up. “I thought I was lead tonight!” he snapped and crossed his arms, face scrunched in distaste. You were Boss’ favorite, and he hated it. You smiled to rub salt in the wound, and he ground his teeth.

 

“You’re in charge of watch and guard for the general operation. A big responsibility, given we have to make up for our associate’s lack of _man_ power.” a chuckle ran through the assembled people, as if some sort of joke had been made. You didn’t get it. “No, y/n here is my personal guard, and the client’s if need be. Their protection is priority over mine, for tonight.”

 

Now, that had you uncomfortable. “Boss! What’s the reason for that? We’re not dealing with someone from… a potential snitch, are we?”

 

“Calm your tits,” Jackie huffed. “Boss is just worried if someone crashes the party the client could get, what’s the term they use? Ah, dusted.”

 

“We’re working with monsters? Oh, please tell me this is what i think it is.” Your grin grew.

 

“Oh yeah. We’re breaking into monster food market.” Boss shot you a very smug look.

  
  
  


The meeting place was warehouse 17, one of the most well defended meeting places in your turf. All the lookouts were set, codes gone over, and people in place. Now you simply waited for your business partner. The gang all had their masks on, various types with eye mask types being most prevalent. All masks were decorated in a way to match their chosen codename. Something that made you uncomfortable was that Boss said that the both of you would be taking your masks off for the client as a show of trust. You didn’t like that one bit. So for now, you soaked in the comfort of your full-face mask.

 

“Boss, Fang,” one of the watch greeted as they came into the room. “Should be here in five.” Boss thanked them and he left. You pulled out a knife to play with, fingering the wrist strap you had attached to it.

 

As you waited, you noticed something strange. On the wall was a spider. In general, this would not be a strange occurence, but this room was designed to keep all manner of things out, including bugs, both the organic and electronic variety.

 

“Well what are you doing here, little buddy?” you crooned at it. Boss rolled their eyes, used to your thing for spiders. And bees. And any bug really. You had an interesting childhood, let’s leave it at that. The spider skittered away, and you went back to keeping an eye and ear out for trouble. Just as one of the hourly reports came in confiming perimeter, two of your men escorted in the monster you had been waiting for.

 

Now here was a lady who was easy on the eyes. You had been informed that you were to address her as Madam Widow, and now you saw why. She was a spider monster and you thanked your mask for hiding your absolutely childish grin of delight. She had shoulder length voluminous black hair and an absolutely darling dress, fluffed up by a many-layered petticoat. She also appeared to have six arms, which truly made you jealous. Then you noticed something about her dress. At first you thought it was the lighting, but then you realized she had live spiders crawling all over her. Ooooh, you might be in love. Boss indicated the chair across from them, and you took your position at their left shoulder. The escorts left, and she remained standing.

 

“I believe we had a talk about masks now, didn’t we deary?” Her smile was icy, her voice voice somewhere between sharp and tart.

 

“Of course.” Boss removed their masquerade style mask, and indicated for you to follow suit. You tucked your mask under your jacket, where it could easily be replaced if the party was crashed. “We do so appreciate your agreeing to meet with us, Madam Widow. Have you given thought to our proposition?”

 

“Ahuhuhu, yes i have.” she giggled in reply, and still remained standing. You were glad for the table between you, just in case. You had a feeling this woman could be very dangerous if crossed. Not that you planned to, of course. “My though, i could get used to humans addressing me so politely.”

 

“We could make sure that happens more often,” Boss smirked. “Our protection and compensation for any monster food you could regularly provide us.”

 

“Yes, it might be nice not to worry about filthy humans putting more bricks through my windows. Disgusting creatures. No offense intended, of course, ahuhuhu.” Her eyes narrowed. She was testing Boss, obviously searching for signs of racism or being taken advantage of. But Boss merely smiled at her and you didn’t move a muscle.

 

“Of course. Should you agree to this, any future damage will be prevented, or such bold hooligans dealt with. By human means, on human turf of course. We wouldn’t want any innocent parties to be held accountable, now would we?”

 

Widow brightened considerably. “My my, you are most considerate. I have to say, when you first approached me with your offer, i had several doubts. But let us discuss terms. I would like a trial period of three months.”

 

“May I take out some things for notes?” Boss asked.

 

“Why ask for permission, deary?”

 

“Some might take me reaching into my jacket as an aggressive action,” they explained as they procured a pen and paper. The next hours were spent with Boss and Madam Widow discussing terms, bulk, level of protection, and price. “Now Madam, you realize fifty percent is outrageous? I have movers to pay, officials to bribe and whatnot.”

 

“And i have many, many mouths to feed,” she countered. You wondered if she personally fed all these spiders. Some had left her dress and wandered the table and warehouse. You had relaxed some, and had managed to get one of the spiders to come onto your hands and were playing by watching it explore the fiber of your gloves. Widow watched you carefully. “You like spiders, dearie?”

 

Boss snapped their head towards you, and you looked away guiltily. “Yes, Madam Widow,” you responded.

 

“Ah, your help does talk after all! Ahuhu.”

 

“I apologize,” Boss said, “She will put the spider down immediately, won’t you, Fang?” boss was not happy with your lack of professionalism.

 

“Oh it’s quite alright deary. They don’t often get to explore a live human. But fine, i will accept your offer of thirty percent if you can truly sell at the price you claim.”

 

“I assure you madam widow, after the trial period you will be paid up front for your business rather than this half-now half-later deal. The client base is all but established.” Boss went over the terms again, with Widow, and it seemed things were winding down. “We’ll contact you regarding paperwork within the week and- Fang?”

 

You were listening to your earpiece, and had tapped Boss on the shoulder. “Get to the exits. Boss, Madam Widow, we’re going to backout plan alpha. One of the teams at site 12 hasn’t reported in. could just be morons, but since things were wrapping up i suggest we move out. With your permission?” You hated the tension in between knowing if it was a false alarm or not and preparing for a fight. Boss gave a nod and you replaced your mask over your face, and followed behind Boss and Widow as a couple of your men came to help lead them out.

 

Jackie called in again. “I have another team not responding. I’m sending group red to check on them, but it looks like something’s- shit! We got word in! Cops!”

 

With that you all doubled your speed, and you drew weapons. “Boss, Madam, we are now in an official fucking hurry.”

 

“Client comes first,” Boss reminded you as the cars came out to meet you. Widow would leave here, and Boss would take a car at the second exit. They both had predetermined routes that would seem as if they had not come from the warehouse. “Madam Widow, I hope this interruption does not affect your willingness to do business with us.”

 

“On the contrary, I appreciate how you handle it, ahuhuhu.” But you caught the nervous hint in her laughter. “I expect the papers soon.” with that, the car sped off.

 

Just as you got Boss into the next car, you heard the scuffle behind you. You needed to buy Boss some time. So despite their protests to just get in the car, you signalled the driver to book it just as the first cop made it to you.

 

“Fre-” they tried to speak, but before they could get their gun pointed at you, you had already dashed towards them and cut their apparent dominant arm, causing them to drop their weapon and howl. You jumped on the strategically stacked storage units to get a look at what was happening in the room you had just left. You were very, very surprised to see, among the humans, a short skeleton clad in blue and weilding a bone. Then he looked up and saw you somehow. He reached out an arm and you could feel something tugging at your chest, but didn’t stick around to see what kind of magic he intended to use on you. No, you jumped down and ran.

 

Blue cursed. He had let one criminal get away! His blue attack was helping to apprehend a number of dastardly-doers, but most had fled. As the ones he held were handcuffed, he let it go. His new human friends were congratulating him, so he saw no reason to fret.


	4. Another Grillbys, Another Skeleton, Another Itch You Can't Quite Scratch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im really just... putting a buncha these out aren't i? i'm just so excited about this story, and love writing the reader! i hope you guys enjoy reading it half as much as i enjoy writing it.

You ran very fast. You didn’t see anyone follow you, but why risk it? When you finally felt there was a safe distance, you ducked into an alley. Your mask was wiped off and put in your bag, your outer layer of clothes, anything with blood on it, ripped off, cut to shreds, and shoved into the nearest trashcan. You changed your shoes and pulled your hair out of the ponytail it had been in. With that, your transformation was complete. Instead of a dark-clad and menacing gang member, you were now simply a girl in a tight shirt and tights, out for a night on the town. Taking a deep breath to compose yourself, you stepped out of the alley to see where you had ended up. You were in a monster district close to home, fell clan side. You could tell by the gratuitous graffiti, and the popular clothing styles. It was late, well past midnight, but there was one store in the fell district that still had a light on.

 

You made your way into Grillbys.

 

This Grillbys was nothing like the one Reap had taken you to. Where that one had a warm, inviting atmosphere, here the air was crisp and sharp. The kind of place where you watch your back and don’t take shit if you wanna make it out. Well, you were already in here. You walked up to the bar.

 

“You serve milkshakes?” you addressed the purple fire elemental behind the bar. He appeared to sneer at you.

 

“Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry?”

 

You ordered, paid the exorbitant fee, and sat at the bar to wait for it. Unlike the other Grillbys there were no humans here at all. In fact, all the monsters were watching you with a decidedly predatory glare.

 

At the other end of the bar, a ratty red bird nudged a skeleton in a furred hood. “‘Ey. ‘ey Red. chase that human out, it’s ruining the atmosphere.”

 

“why do i gotta do it?” Red growled back, red eye lights glaring at the bird.

 

They were unimpressed. “Yer bro’s in the royal guard, ya used ta be a sentry, and we all know yer the best at dealing with humans.” he gave a cocky grin. “So get to it, bone boy.”

 

A look at the other patrons told Red they were all wanting him to get the human girl out. He rolled his eyes and heaved himself off his seat. Moving to lean on the bar next to you, he cracked a cocky grin. “come to see how the better half lives, sweetheart?”

 

You looked him up and down. Lazy attire, some kind of collar, stains on his shirt, gold tooth, and about your height. What did he want? “Yeah, maybe i did.” You received your milkshake and turned your attention to it.

 

“yer kind ain’t exactly welcome in fell. ain’t it dangerous for a fragile, very breakable human like yourself to be out in monster territory this late at night?” he licked his razor-sharp teeth to indicate his point.

 

“I’m made of tough stuff, bones,” you replied evenly, sipping at your drink.

 

He chuckled, his voice going deeper and darker. “tough or soft, you look like you’d only be one mouthful.” he examined his sharpened phalanges, clacking them together to draw your attention. “or maybe you came here looking for trouble?”

 

You knew his type. He wouldn’t just back down if you ignored him. So instead you went on the attack. You swiveled to face him, narrowing your eyes and flashing your own teeth in something similar to a smile, but not quite there. That made him blink. “I came here,” you said in your sultriest voice, looking at your nails, “for a milkshake. But if trouble were to find me…” he seemed frozen as you traced fingers up the arm of his jacket, stopping at the top to grab his collar and yank him forward. “Wouldn’t be long before I had him running the other way,” you whispered next to his head. You released him and went back to your drink. The entire place was staring at you. Your drink was halfway done. It seemed to energize you in that way monster food does, easing your muscles that were sore from running. You had every intention of finishing this damn milkshake.

 

Red balked. Usually he just had to be himself to get people running away. Wait, that came out wrong. But still. This chick had balls. And something about her… felt wrong. She didn’t feel like other humans did. He took a moment to judge her Soul and realized why. Her LV was twice his. That… was not a good sign. Sweat began to bead on his forehead. He needed to switch tactics.

 

“damn sweetheart, you got some mouth on ya. wanna put it to better use for me?” she sipped at her treat, ignoring him. He had to be careful, he couldn’t afford to provoke a physical attack. “aw come on doll, givin' me the _cold_ shoulder?” he pointed to your drink. “i got another milkshake for you that’s just as goo-” he was cut off as you put a finger in his face.

 

“I’m almost done.” soon came the slurping noise that indicated your straw could find nothing more. “There.” you faced him. “Now, unless you’re looking for a fight, I suggest you get out of my way.”

 

He clenched his fists at his side, weighing his options. Move and look weak in front of the other monsters, or provoke the wrath of this human and risk getting dusted. Option C it is. He moved, but held out a hand. “can i escort you to the door, sweetheart?”

 

You shoved him aside with little effort as you made your way out the door. He stumbled to catch himself and watched as, just before you left, you turned and blew him a poisoned kiss.

 

He knew you were dangerous. The most dangerous human he had met so far. But damn, that was hot. His chuckle soon turned into a full blown laugh as everyone stared at him. “hahahaha, grillby i need another. That was great. We need more humans like that and less pansy ass cowards. Heh.” he returned to the bar.

  
  
  


That prick had left you feeling itchy. You couldn’t just end the night like that. It wasn’t good for you. You needed to work off the itch. So you made a beeline for your gang’s turf. Maybe someone would be stupid enough to start trouble there. You patrolled the streets, debating what to do when monster-human territory was inevitably taken in by Boss. This one client would be a start... And then you heard a scuffle. With a grin you donned your mask and walked in on a mugging.

 

“Nice night for some fun, eh?” you said. The poor citizen on the other end of the knife whimpered.

 

The assailant turned to you. “Hey mind your own… business? Fang?” they wore a full mask like yours, but theirs had a lion.

 

You pocketed your knives. “Seriously Mane?! Didn’t we go over this shit when we brought you in? We keep peace on our turf, not make disturbances.”

 

“Come on Fang, he’s obviously got more than he needs, saw ‘im coming out of some fancy ass restaurant-” the man cowered further as the knife was shaken in his direction.

 

“Mane! Unless he was causing trouble, give the man his shit back and drop it. Unless you wanna mug him in front of me, and I tell Boss.” 

 

“Shit, Fang!” he groaned, but dropped the knife and threw a wallet at the man, who quickly scampered off.

 

You grabbed his shoulder and directed him in the opposite direction, somewhere you could take off your masks and talk. “We told you the rules. Why’d you do that?” Mane was relatively new, but seemed to be enthusiastic in getting into your family. His breaking the rules was actually kind of surprising.

 

“I… might have bitten off more than i could chew. At a place that wasn’t ours.”

 

“Really?! Gambling is a scam! That’s the whole reason we run it!”

 

“I know, I know,” he whined, “but these guys from my class were all going out, and I wanted in with them, so…” he slumped. “And you of all people had to catch me.”

 

“Sheesh. Pay back your debts in a way that doesn’t hurt our rep. You know that if you feel in danger from whoever, we’ve got your back right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“Now go home or something. Some of us wanna sleep.” with that the two of you separated. You debated following, but just weren’t feeling up to it. The itch had subsided enough for you to go home. You decided to shoot Reap a quick text before bed. ‘Visited the Grillby’s in Fell clan. Not nearly as nice’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally met a Fell boy! But y/n was not impressed. Better step up or fall behind, Red!
> 
> i live for the kudos and comments, so let me know how i'm doing, how you're doing, things you might want to see, or questions you hope get addressed in the story!
> 
> and don't forget, i love you!


	5. Your New Friends Make Everything Complicated But at Least They're Cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapters being so Swap-centric for now. They're just who you met first!
> 
> quick headcanon- the versions of Papyrus all came out of the underground loud and boisterous, and had to learn to turn down their volume levels after a while. They still slip up when they get excited.

You haven’t seen Blue in person since the raid on the warehouse. You have, however, been texting him. And that was how you learned about the magic licenses. It was an idea from the Tale Asgore, an exchange program of sorts between the human police and the monster royal guard, that he had finally gotten permission for after four years of trying. Blue was the most recent of three recipients of a license to use magic when working with the human law enforcement.

 

You needed to tell Boss.

 

“Well shit.” Boss pulled out a cigarette, but put it away with your hard look and pulled out a vape instead. You didn’t like either, but you were still glad your boss was considerate enough not to light a cigarette over your lunch.

 

You took another bite out of the sandwich in front of you, a damn good reuben. “So far all the intel I have is that three monsters have the license, but I think I could at least get names on the other two.”

 

“Well, your new job is to get any information you can on these monsters and their magic. We know how to deal with humans, but monsters… they got about five of our boys the other day. Only four are out on bail now, since they can’t prove anything. The last one they’re holding on some trumped up charge.” Boss sighed. “We might have to start dusting.”

 

“About that, Boss…” you looked away uncomfortably.

 

“Come off it Fang, it’s not different from killing humans.” Boss shrugged and stabbed at their pasta. “Just report what you know to Cherry. you’re off from your front jobs to collect info until we have a better handle on this. And don’t worry, you’re still getting paid for your hours.” Boss chuckled at the look of relief on your face. “What, your fighting pay isn’t enough to cover all your fancy knives?”

 

You shot them a wry smile. “Something like that. But my real problem is, well… Blue’s my friend and I extended my protection to him.” You looked away in shame.

 

“Aw, shit Fang.” Boss grumbled. 

 

Your face was hot from embarrassment. “They fed me and he’s fun to hang out with! I guess i wasn’t thinking we’d ever have to fight him, since he’s a monster!”

 

“Dammit Fang, so that’s why you came to me instead of Cherry. Can you take it back?”

 

“My word is my bond.”

 

Boss dropped it and you both finished your food in relative silence. The back room the restaurant had placed you in felt smaller by the second, but finally you managed to escape. Even if it left you feeling itchy as hell. With a sigh you pulled out your phone. Still no new messages from Reap. Usually talking with your bird friend was the easiest way to calm down, but if they weren’t responding… you hit the call button, but no one picked up. After a few more minutes, and still no text, you started to worry. Usually if they couldn’t pick up, they would let you know why they were busy or something. Taking a few turns a block away from the restaurant you were just at, you made your way into a dojo that had one of the symbols you used, the white seven pointed star.

 

The door jingles as it opened and the receptionist greeted you. “Hey, can I help you?”

 

“No thanks, just gonna do some training,” you replied. 

 

“Here's the sign in sheet-”

 

“No thanks.” he didn't seem to know how to respond to that, so you breezed by and made your way straight to the punching bags. This was one of Anny’s places, and if memory serves it taught Thai boxing. But the only thing that mattered was that because of your status you could go in and use the facilities, as long as they weren't already in use. So you went to town on the bag before you, not even bothering to wrap your hands until they started to sting. You paused then, panting lightly from exertion. Still nothing from Reap. There were, however, several new messages from Blue. 

 

**Blueberry** : HUMAN Y/N! HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE DAY?

 

                 WHEN YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT MY WORK, IT MADE ME THINK OF MY FRIEND PAPYRUS! HE IS ALSO IN THE ROYAL GUARD. HE’S ONE OF THE OTHERS WITH A MAGIC                           LICENSE!

 

                 HE WAS ACTUALLY THE FIRST TO RECEIVE ONE! BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE HUMANS KNEW HIM LONGER THAN ME! OTHERWISE I’M SURE I WOULD HAVE CAPTIVATED THEM                     WITH MY CHARM MUCH FASTER MWEH HEH HEH!

 

                 WE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT SOMETIME!

 

Heh. He was an energetic little guy. But he was already giving you information without even having to ask! That was certainly handy. You replied back vaguely about hanging out later in the week, before going back to your history of messages with Reap, looking for anything that may suggest that they would be unavailable around now. Coming up with nothing, you sighed and thought about what else you could do.

  
  
  


When there was a knock on the door, it was a whimsalot that had the courage to open it, even though they were not expecting guests. Even so, they almost shut the door when they were faced with a human. But you stuck your foot in the door to keep it from closing.

 

“Hi,” you tried to look as non-threatening as possible. It was not easy. “I’m looking for Reap- Reaper Bird? They haven’t contacted me in a while, and I just wanted to make sure they were okay?”

 

You could see others gathered behind this bug-knight creature. Mostly more bug like things only the size of your head, and several very large and vaguely unsettling frogs. The bugs tittered about nervously and the frogs stared. Finally, the one who opened the door spoke. “You are their human friend?”

 

“Yes! Yes, I’m y/n. We hang out and text a lot. They took me to Grillby’s recently.”

 

The whimsalot nodded. “Yes, they have spoken of you. We actually… have not seen them for a number of days.” they moved to close the door again, but you held it open.

 

“Please, I’m really worried. Do you know where they might be?” Why were they trying to force you out?! You wanted to help!

 

“We told the royal guard today. They aren’t with their other family, so we don’t know.”

 

You stubbornly kept ahold of the door. “Where do the other family live?”

 

“... Please let go of the door.” 

 

When you did, thinking they were going to maybe let you in, they just closed the door very politely in your face. They didn’t open it again, despite your knocking and requests for help. When monsters started to gather around the scene, you excused yourself and walked away, hands shoved in your pockets. Now you were more worried than ever. Where could they be? You had long since checked all the places you could think of, even though it couldn’t hurt to try again.

 

After going around looking one more time, you collapsed on a park bench and decided to reply to Blue again.

 

Blueberry: WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER FOR DINNER AGAIN TONIGHT?

 

                MY BROTHER SAYS HE WILL BE WORKING HIS NEW JOB SO IT IS A BIT LONELY!

 

You: Sure Blue. what time do you want me over?

 

Blueberry: I SHOULD BE READY IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!

 

                DO YOU REMEMBER THE ADDRESS?

 

You did not, since it was in Swap Clan, farther away from your home, so he sent it to you again. He made repeated promises of an excellent dinner and a large selection of movies. You were excited for free dinner, getting useful information, and in getting to know this skeleton better. And you definitely were glad for a reason to stay away from the apartment since Lisa was having friends over again. They had been over all day, in fact, one of the reasons you had spent the day looking for Reap. you let out a long sigh. You were worried for your friend. Monster-human relationships were getting more and more tense as more monsters kept coming out of the mountain. You hoped it was over for now. More monsters might make the radical groups take to a higher level of violence. You were all for violence, but there was a time and a place for it. The time was when you wanted, and the place far away from your friends and loved ones. 

 

When the time came, you pulled yourself to your feet and made your way to the address. Approaching the area where it changed from human-dominated living to monster, you were struck again at how the quality of buildings almost immediately dropped. The places were run down, and there was anti-monster graffiti on many of the buildings. Apparently no one was allowed to just live in peace. The place you lived now was honestly in one of the more run down parts of town, but it wasn’t as bad as all this. Graffiti, the occasional raid on local pot smokers, and a sub-par level of cleanliness, but still. At least you were going to move soon.

 

“Ah! Human y/n!” Blue cheerily greeted you at the door. “Dinner is almost done!”

 

You smiled at his childlike enthusiasm. “Nice. We gonna eat and watch a movie at the same time, or?”

 

“I don’t think we could see the television very well from the dining room,” he apologized.

 

You snorted. “I meant, we could eat in the living room. But I know some people don’t like to eat on their couches and stuff. My roommate actually spilled ramen all over the couch last month, but it was an old couch already, so I guess I didn’t mind as much as I might’ve.”

 

Blueberry stared for a second. “Of course! Why didn’t i think that? Yes, let’s watch while we eat! I picked out a few movies and stacked them on the table. Do you want to pick what to watch first?” His eyelights had turned into stars. You stared openly at them. After a moment where neither of you moved, they turned back into his normal round lights. “y/n? Are you alright?”

 

“Your eyes turned to stars!”

 

“Ah, yes, they can do that when i get excited!”

 

“That is so damn COOL! Man, I am so glad we met at the store. I’m learning new stuff every day!” 

 

Blue’s face glowed, well, blue, and he excused himself mumbling something about checking on the food. You found the stack of movies and noted that most of them were disney. Well, it had been a while since you’d seen a disney movie. You hummed as you looked over the options before picking up Moana. You popped it in and went to find Blue in the kitchen. He was plating… fish tacos?

 

“y/n! Did you pick a movie?” He asked, his smile stretched wide and a bit of that blue glow still on his cheeks.

 

“Yeah, picked Moana.” you pointed to the food. “Fish tacos tonight?”

 

“Yes! I found a new recipe and wanted to try it! Be ready to taste the best fish tacos you have ever had! Mweh heh heh!” He posed dramatically before handing you a plate.

 

“Thanks man. So, i’ve been meaning to ask, but why do your cheeks glow blue?” you asked as you both moved over to the couch, starting the movie.

 

He almost dropped his plate, and the glow returned full force. “UM! IT’S JUST! A MAGIC THING!”

 

Ooh, so now he was flustered by something? You must know more about this magic thing. “What kind of magic thing?”

 

“I-it’s, um, when I get flustered or embarrassed or stuff… like…”

 

“You’re blushing!”

 

“YES!” he hid his face in his hands, really glowing now, with Moana singing in the background.

 

“And it glows! That’s awesome!”

 

He peeked out between his fingers. “Awesome?”

 

“Yeah! It’s so cool how like, you guys have a lot of things in common with humans, but it’s just done differently? And glowing things are always awesome.” you munched on your taco, and it turned out it was definitely one of the best fish tacos you had ever had.

 

Blue seemed thoughtful. “Normally people say it’s adorable, or cute or something. I think I like awesome better!” This time there was something different about his smile, but you couldn’t quite place it.

 

You continued chatting quietly, stopping to sing along to many of the songs together, and even put in another disney movie after Moana finished. Blue had scooted closer to you at some point. You were now sharing popcorn, and you had convinced your skeleton friend to drizzle chocolate syrup all over the stuff, making a bit of a sticky mess on your fingers as you ate.

 

“Hey Blue, do you know Reaper Bird?”

 

He almost jumped. “W-why do you ask?”

 

“He’s one of my friends, and I haven’t heard from him in a while. I visited his apartment where he lives with family, but they haven’t heard from him in a while either. I’m really worried.”

 

He calmed down at the explanation. “Hm. I am only familiar with the one from our clan, but I assume yours is of Tale clan? Being an amalgamate, maybe you should ask their Alphys.” he grabbed another handful of popcorn.

 

“An amalgamate?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: we learn what happens when you cross reader.


	6. Asking Nicely, and Then Asking Less Nicely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up, the violence is starting.
> 
> i'm really happy that you guys have shown so much interest in this! i have a plan for it all and i'm so excited to share this story.

Blue hadn’t been able to give you an address or any real contact information on Alphys, besides suggesting you send her a friend request on the undernet. Well, technically he also recommended asking for her at the embassy, but that was out of the question. Like you would just walk in and give your name at a government building, even if it was a monster one. So you decided to stick to something you were more comfortable with: stalking Alphys on the undernet to learn that she stayed late at the lab and you might be able to catch her as she walked out. Now the only problem was not looking like a violent human trying to hurt her. But damn, you were so good at looking like a violent human who wants to hurt someone!

 

You heard the door open and finally saw a yellow lizard monster step out of the building and quickly head to the parking lot. Well, now or never. You moved from your place in the trees and made your way towards her. Hands out of pockets. Visibly not carrying a weapon. Smiling face. She seemed to notice you, and walked faster towards her car. But you made it first.

 

“Excuse me, are you doctor Alphys?” You asked, trying so very hard to sound pleasant.

 

“S-s-s-s-s-stay b-b-b-back! There a-a-are c-c-c-ameras everywhere!” she dropped the papers she was holding and pulled out a spray can of mace, shivering in fear.

 

“Sorry! I really didn’t mean to scare you!” You immediately bent down to gather her papers before they blew away. You knew the guard dogs would be making their rounds soon, so you had to hurry. You didn’t want to test and see if they would chase you away for wandering around suspiciously at night.  She lowered the mace cautiously, but was still shivering. “One of my monster friends hasn’t contacted me in a while, and I haven’t been able to find them anywhere. Blue, the royal guard? He told me you might have heard from my friend. Do you know Reaper Bird? Has he contacted you in the past week?” Your worry showed in your voice, and you handed the poor monster her papers.

 

She snatched them and backed up again, but didn’t run or threaten you. A good start. “W-w-well he was using m-male pronouns last i h-heard…” she seemed to mumble to herself. She glanced at you but quickly looked away. “I h-h-haven’t heard f-f-from Reaper B-b-bird recently. I’m s-s-s-sorry. Please l-l-leave now?”

 

Your shoulder sagged. “Okay. Sorry to bother you. Um,” you pulled out an old receipt and scribbled your number on it, “could you let me know if you see him? Or tell him to text me? He’s my best friend and I’m really worried.” She cautiously took the paper, as if it would bite her, and nodded. You turned and left just as a guard dog came around the corner. Shit! You forgot to ask for more information about Amalgamates!

  
  
  


Alphys got into her car, locked the doors, and had a small panic attack. That human had cornered her! Right outside the royal embassy! None of the guards were there to help; Alphys could have been dusted and Undyne would never know why she didn’t come home… she pushed her phone’s panic button.

 

Sans was there in three seconds, one eye glowing blue. “Alphys! you okay? what’s wrong?” she shakily unlocked her car for him, and he climbed into the passenger seat. “‘s okay pal, i’m here,” he spoke gently, soothingly. “you’re fine, i’m here, and your friends love you.” he murmured more reassurances until her breathing evened out.

 

“Th-thanks Sans,” she managed to get out, refusing to make eye contact.

 

“not a problem, science buddy,” he replied with a wink. “ready to talk about it?”

 

“... A-a h-h-h-human sh-showed up…” Tears fell as she squeezed her eyes shut. “Th-they didn’t attack me, b-b-b-but if they h-had, th-there were n-n-no guards! A-a-and, th-they were l-l-l-looking for me, specifically, a-a-and I w-was alone…”

 

Sans’ eye lights dimmed. “okay. i’ll talk to the toris and get security upped at night, especially in the parking lot. If you don’t feel safe, any of us can walk you to your car. we’ll keep you safe, alphys.”

 

“Th-thanks,” she sniffled. “B-b-but I can’t ask y-you guys t-to walk me to my c-car all the t-time.”

 

“sure you can. we’re your friends.” she nodded at that and offered him a watery smile. “so what did the human want anyway? they threaten you or something?”

 

“N-no… actually, th-they said that they had a m-monster friend that they h-hadn’t heard from in a while.”

 

“why’d they come to you for that?”

 

“I think i-it was because it w-was one of the amalgamates? Oh, no, S-sans, i wasn’t thinking, w-w-what if another amalgamate is m-m-m-missing?”

 

He looked out her car window. “...then that would make three from tale and one from swap.” 

 

“W-w-we sh-should t-t-tell s-someone, sh-shouldn’t we?”

 

Sans sighed. “Who would we tell? The kings and queens can’t do much. we could tell the guard to keep an eye out, but they’re already looking, and we can't really ask the humans. i don’t trust the fell clan yet, except red, but even with him we have to be careful, since i doubt he can keep everything from his gaster.” He didn’t like telling people things they didn’t need to know, anyways. Not when he could take care of it.

 

“I-i g-guess you’re r-right…” at least Alphys seemed to be calming down some.

 

“let’s just get you home to your wife, huh?” Sans suggested. “you want me to drive, or are you feeling better?”

 

“C-c-can you drive p-please…”

  
  
  


Birds were singing. Flowers were blooming. You were raising hell.

 

“This can all stop with names and addresses, Lisa,” you remarked calmly as you threw down another plate, smashing it against the floor.

 

Lisa tried to speak through her sobs, tried to stay something, but merely blubbered incoherently from her place, tied to the dining room chair. She didn’t have any real injuries yet, only light scratches from the shrapnel that hit her as you destroyed the apartment. You had stayed out late, and crashed as soon as you got home, but when you woke up the next morning you noticed several things.

 

The first of these things was that the living room smelled very strongly of weed. This made you upset. The second thing were the certain pieces of equipment and bags on the coffee table, indicating that they had been doing more than just weed that night. That wouldn’t have bothered you so much, since it didn’t affect you personally, except it had apparently led to the third thing you noticed. Several of your knives, batons, and other tools were not in your room. Several were still missing, but some of them had been found behind the couch and in Lisa’s room. They were coated in a fine, silvery, _DUST_.

 

You pulled more of Lisa’s dishes from the cabinet. “See, reasons like these are why i buy the cheap plastic dishes. I mean, I guess i should get some nice ones for special occasions, now that my job pays better than when i moved here, but…” you smashed some sort of ceramic bowl against the countertop, not even caring when some of it scratched your arms and face as it flew by. “Names. Addresses.”

 

“I-I’m s-s-so so-ooo-orry!” she managed to cry out between heaving sobs. “Marv f-f-found this w-website with bounties a-and we were high! We weren’t thinking!” Another sob broke out as you moved away from the kitchen and into her room, pausing to drag her chair behind you. “It wasn’t US, it was the CRACK!”

 

“Lisa, you’re a real bitch, you know that?” You opened up her laptop. “Gimme the website. I’m still waiting on the names. Marvin is only one and i know there were at least four of you.”

 

“I didn’t even DO anything! I just went with them a-and, and!” You growled at her piteous protests, taking out your knife and cutting into her mattress.

 

“You let them into my room! You went! You didn’t stop them! You might as well have killed them!”

 

“Th-they’re not e-even HUMAN so i-it’s not really k-k-killing!” you went into her closet and began cutting up dresses until she relented and gave you the website. You brought it up on her computer and easily found several threads with bounties, complaints, plans for human rallies, and other filthy things that made your blood boil. You saved the address for later, along with the password she gave you to get into some of the locked forums.

 

You scribbled down the names she finally gave you, and the couple of addresses she knew. You’d have to get the others later. “You’re lucky you haven’t been as shitty a roommate as you could have been,” you remarked, still ignoring her sobs. A strip of fabric from her favorite dress was tied into a functional gag. “You cooperated, so you get to live. I’m leaving, though. You get to sit there while I pack up. Don’t worry, I promised not to break any more of your stuff if you talked, so I’m only taking what’s mine. And maybe some of your snacks.” You paused for a second. “And I hope you know better than to call the police about this, right?” Either she was nodding, or just shaking too badly. It didn’t matter too much.

 

With Lisa’s bedroom door closed, the packing began. You still had five months on the lease; you hadn’t even begun looking for a new place yet, even though you had been planning to move after the lease was up. Scrolling through phone contacts only supplied a few people you could trust to couch-crash with. Motel it is, for now. The penny-pinching habits of your past screamed to just go couch-surfing, but you solidly ignored them. You were past that point in your life. Ugh, you didn’t have a car though. Your motorcycle could not effectively move all your shit.

 

A few phone calls later, your bulkier things were in storage with a friend and your necessities were in a few bags strewn about your motel room. But you couldn’t linger. Lisa would warn them, but you felt a social responsibility to go take out some fucking trash.

  
  
  


With the name and number the human had given Alphys, Sans could hardly find anything. He had scoured the internet and human social media, but had come up with no one that matched Alphys’ description. The only thing he could do was check the cameras around the lab, and tap into others around the city to follow you home. Humans made that stuff far too simple. Using that, he figured out her address the same night, some housing complex near the Tale/Fell border. Stars he hated the borders. He hated the clans. He hated that mountain, throwing new monsters up to disturb the tenuous peace it had taken years to build. He just wanted to sell fucking hot dogs and let Papyrus be happy. But no. He had to not only work with Alphys on yet more timeline bullshit, but he had to keep track of the more dangerous monsters from four fucking timelines. At least until he believed the alternate versions of himself and the Gasters were safe with society.

 

He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he woke up to Swap Gaster handing him a cup of coffee, sugar and creamer already added. The other monster smiled gently at him. He was skeletal, but he had white skin stretch thin over his frame. His face was more like a skull, similar to Sans’ in that rather than a separated jawbone, he had more of a cartoonish mouth that moved almost as if it were shaped by flesh. He also had two cracks, one running up from his drooping right eye, and another that ran between the bottom of his left eye and his mouth.

 

“You look beyond tired, Sans. I truly doubt the kings and queens would begrudge you a day off to recover.” the tall monster loomed over Sans, looking over the papers scattered around his desk. He blinked, his damaged eye socket doing so much more slowly. “Have you been here all night?!” His tone turned chiding. “We sent you home early yesterday for a reason! And that reason was not to disregard our advice and return at a later time!”

 

Sans looked away guiltily, scratching at his skull. “‘s fine dadster,” the tall skeleton blushed at the nickname, “sometimes, you just gotta calcu- _late_ , ya know?” he shot finger guns at ‘Dadster’.

 

“Really Sans, you need to take better care of your health,” he complained.

 

“I truly do not see why you insist on interfering with everyone’s lives,” drawled a smooth voice from behind the pair. It was the Gaster of the Fell clan, followed closely by his Alphys, or Riyu. “And they say I’m the control freak.” This Gaster looked much like his Swap Clan counterpart, but the shape of his face was sharper, and there were miniscule cracks littering his skin, bespeaking the violence of his time below ground.

 

Dadster shot the other man a frown. “I am not sure that showing concern for another person quite counts as interfering in their lives.” he put a comforting hand on Sans’ shoulder. “Feel free to leave early. In fact, I would feel much better if you took the day off to rest. Undyne- I mean, Sakura should be here at any moment. I’m sure she or Alphys can do anything you were needed for today.”

 

“ya know what, i think i’ll do that.” Sans got up and stretched. “see ya dadster, riyu, wing man.” 

 

He couldn’t quite hear Gaster’s angry response to the nickname before he took a shortcut back to his apartment. Sans hadn’t been exactly honest with Stretch about his living conditions; even while he earned more, money only got you so far when they didn’t bother selling decent places to monsters. He was in the nicer part of Tale district, so the water was clean and they didn’t have any infestations, so it was a bit better quality that Stretch and Blue’s apartment. But it was still pretty small. A living room, a kitchen, one bathroom, and two bedrooms were all on the same floor, and often they could hear the neighbors upstairs, one of the bunny families. In fact, he could hear children running around in the early morning hours, shouting about getting ready for school. He chuckled and went to his room. He needed to start looking into that human more, and see what they were up to. After a short nap. Just a few minutes in bed couldn’t hurt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like its time to find a new place to live. Maybe even new roommates...?


	7. You Can't Fight Friendship! Or, At Least, You Shouldn't?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more bonding with skeletons!
> 
> HEY DO YOU LIKE THIS STORY? THEN CONSIDER THIS:  
> two questions.  
> 1\. would you all be interested if, in the future, I made some sort of poll to let you pick which AU comes out of the mountain next?  
> 2\. Would there be any interest in me making a tumblr for this entire multiverse, where i might post little behind the scenes things and where you could ask the characters questions?
> 
> food for thought! i'll probably add these questions to the notes for the next few chapters and see what kind of response comes in within the next couple weeks or something.

It was only a couple more days before Blue was inviting you over again, this time for video games. He said he wanted to introduce you to one of his best friends, and they had gotten a new racing game to try. It would be nice to hang out with Blue again. He was always really fun and nice, and just a different pace from your other friends. Probably because your other friends were all in the gang. He just made you feel different, somehow. You hadn’t figured it out yet. You accepted his invitation and decided to try and find snacks he probably hadn’t gotten to try. It would be worth the half hour drive to the nearest asian market to get Blue to try shrimp chips.

 

You showed up to the skeleton’s apartment with a couple grocery bags of snacks, and Blue tackled you in a hug almost right away. You fought the initial instinct to lash out at the surprise attack, and managed to calm down and hug him back.

 

“Y/N! We’re so glad you could come!” Blue smiled wide and you melted just a little bit. He took your bags before you could protest and led you inside. “This is my friend and fellow royal guardsman, Papyrus! Papyrus, this is my human friend y/n!”

 

You looked to the side to see another skeleton. In fact, it was one of the most famous monsters you knew of. The Great Papyrus was the original monster mascot, known for his work with the monster ambassador Frisk and his constant volunteering to improve human/monster relations. Before the arrival of Swap Clan, he was credited with much of the progress made in integrating monsters into human society!

 

He was taller than he looked online, towering over you, maybe around seven feet tall? But he spoke brightly. “GREETINGS HUMAN! I AM SO EXCITED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE! BLUE SPEAKS OF YOU SO OFTEN AT TRAINING AND YOU ARE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS HE DESCRIBED!” He shook your hand vigorously, brimming with excitement.

 

“Papyrus!” Blue had turned, well, blue. “S-STOP HARASSING THE POOR HUMAN AND LET’S J-JUST PLAY THE GAME!” There were a couple of sparks when he plugged in the system to the apparently faulty outlet, and he switched to the bottom one, which appeared to work. Then he stiffly moved as you all walked to the couch, and situated himself between his tall friend and yourself.

 

“How’s your brother doing?” you asked, “Every time I come over he’s never here. He avoiding me?”

 

“He’s just been busy with his new job,” Blue replied dismissively. “The theatre has him working nights quite often.”

  
  
  


It turns out a few hours can make a lot of difference. When Sans awoke from his nap he grumbled at the elapsed time and pulled himself to stand up. Time to find that girl. A trip to her apartment complex reveals she lives in one of the less than pleasant areas. He can’t get a good look through the windows, since most of the curtains are drawn, and no one goes in and out for hours. With it getting dark, he figured, what has he got to lose? He knocked on the door, hood pulled low on his face and skeletal hands hidden in his pockets.

 

The door opens a crack, a chain keeping it from swinging all the way out. A pale face shows itself. “H-hello?” Lisa addressed the stranger.

 

“hey, i’m, uh, looking for y/n?” sans tried.

 

The cracked space was halved. “She’s not here. That crazy bitch doesn’t live here anymore. Fuck off.”

 

“do you know where she might have gone?”

 

“I dunno, back to hell where she belongs?” the door opened a bit wider as Lisa found someone to listen to her talk besides herself. “Bitch broke all my shit and scrammed. She’s lucky I don’t call the cops.”

 

“why’d she do that?” Sans asked. He had no idea what kind of person this y/n was, but he liked her less by the minute.

 

Lisa bit her lip. “We had some political disagreements. Just because of that she practically threatened to kill me! For all I know she’s gonna and shacked up with some filthy fucking monster and plotting to come back here and kill me in my sleep!” She gave a frightened pout, clearly looking for sympathy.

 

Sans knew his appearance could be shocking. He had had plenty of time to learn all the human myths about death and skeletons. So he threw back his hood and waved his hands menacingly, enjoying the look of all the blood draining from the girl’s face. “how do you know you aren’t already dead?”

 

Lisa shrieked and slammed the door, multiple locks clicking into place as Sans left the area.

 

That was about two days ago. There had been no leads, no sign of this random human since then. With their apparent view on monsters, Sans was starting to think that maybe this human really was friends with an amalgamate, and was just worried about a monster friend. Plenty of monsters had human friends. Didn’t he even see Reaper Bird with a human a while ago? It wasn’t impossible.

 

However, a text from Papyrus changed all that.

 

“I apologize brother, but I’ve decided to stay over at Blue’s house for dinner with our new human friend y/n, and so you will have to do without my glorious cooking!”

 

What the fuck were you doing with his brother. He dropped his lab papers on the desk and shot a text to Stretch. 

 

**Sans** : Whos the human at ur house

**Stretch** : what

**Sans** : paps says hes staying at ur place 4 dinner w blue and a human

**Stretch** : it better not be that girl from the other day

**Sans** : what grl

**Stretch** : im going home fuck

**Sans** : wait

 

Sans cursed and teleported in front of the Swap brother’s apartment just in time to pull Stretch from the door.

 

“what the hell?!” the taller skeleton yelled. “you can’t just go grabbing people like that sans!” Stretch shoved Sans off of him.

 

“look stretch, i just wanna know why this girl’s worth you just dropping whatever and going home.” Sans had a very bad feeling. “My brother’s there too, you know.”

 

Stretch pulled out a cig and lit it as they walked to the curb together, keeping his voice low. “... so a few days ago i got shit faced.” Sans snorted. “Yeah, i know, news to no one. But this group of humans cornered me, looking to dust me. When suddenly, out of nowhere, this freak in a mask shows up and takes them down.” he looked seriously at Sans. “they killed at least one of the humans. One of their own kind! And their LV and EXP… shit, sans.”

 

The magic had drained from San’s face. “And thats the human asking about amalgamates, the human who’s in there with our brothers.”

 

“they’re connected to the missing amalgamates?!” he put his light out on the road. “I’m not leaving that thing in there with blue a second longer.”

 

“what’s blue doing with them anyway?”

 

“they met at the supermarket, he invited her to dinner, and then before she leaves she starts spouting nonsense about protecting blue. I told him that she was trouble, and not to bring her over again.” the two returned to the apartment, slamming open the door and cutting off the conversation that the inhabitants had been having.

 

Blue was the first to recover. “PAPY!” He said with a clearly strained grin, “I thought you were working late tonight!”

 

“i was, but then i heard you had invited a guest that i just had to see again.” his gaze shifted to you. “why is she here?”

 

Blue glared. “I can invite over whoever i want! It’s my apartment too! And why is Sans here, anyway?”

 

“uh, i just came to pick up paps. sorry bro, something urgent came up, so we gotta go home.” Sans tried. His eye lights never left you, as if you were a wild animal ready to pounce at any moment.

 

Papyrus crossed his arms, his tone even. “And, brother, what is so urgent that you waited until now to mention?”

 

Blue threw himself into your arms, and you reflexively wrapped them around him. “THEY JUST WANT TO GET RID OF Y/N! THEY JUST CAN’T STAND THAT WE FINALLY HAVE A DECENT HUMAN FRIEND WHO DOESN’T JUST TAKE PICTURES OF US OR TRY TO SHOW US OFF TO OTHER HUMANS OR-OR!”

 

The tears in Blue’s eyes, coupled with the angry glare directed at his brother, all but broke Stretch down. “S-blue, no, its just-”

 

“AH YES,” Papyrus is yelling too now, as you stayed still, analyzing the situation, “I CAN SYMPATHIZE, AS SANS HAS BEEN SCARING AWAY MY HUMAN FRIENDS SINCE WE CAME TO THE SURFACE FIVE. LONG. LONELY. YEARS AGO.” Sans cringed as Papyrus enunciated the last few words.

 

“paps, you know i only-”

 

But now it was YOUR turn, and you didn’t like ANY of what you were hearing from your kind and sweet new skeleton friends and their apparently control-freak brothers. Because you had finally figured out what it was Blue made you feel, and Papyrus made you feel the same. They made you feel like a person, without thinking of your tactical value or fighting expertise or even your level of physical attractiveness.

 

So you manage to get out, over the infighting: “Well, I just so happen to be looking for new roommates!” the room froze and for the first time in quite a while, you began to falter. That had been a big proposition, even for you. But you stood by it, despite your rising blush, and you held Blue tighter. “I had to leave my last place, and I’m stuck in a motel until I can find a new place. But anyone who wants to room with me can be friends with whoever they want, including me, and no one will scare anyone away!”

 

Stretch looked on in horror as Blue turned to look up at you, his face the picture of innocence. “R-really, y/n?”

 

You nodded stiffly. “Yeah. and it’ll be way better than here! I know several areas I was looking at already, and they have really nice houses, where all the sockets work and we can decorate and paint the walls whatever color you want.”

 

“I could paint the walls blue, and put glow stickers on the ceiling, and the landlord wouldn’t get mad?”

 

“Of course! And we could have a room just for games, with a nice table and a big television. I just got promoted recently, so i was even thinking of getting a new TV!”

 

Blue flashed a smile of… triumph? At his brother, but it only lasted a second before he buried his face against you. “That sounds so nice! You’re so nice! But…” he looked up at you with wide eyes, “if- if Stretch agrees to be nice, can he come too? I don’t want to leave my brother here alone…”

 

Stretch didn’t like you, for some reason. You couldn’t exactly figure it out. While here, you had been polite and open, and hadn’t even displayed any of your violent tendencies. You might not be able to keep that up if you live with them. But then again, if the royal guard ever went against your gang, you wanted to know whether or not Blue was there. What better way to protect him that live with him? You could put up with his brother’s hostility for that. “He can, as long as he agrees to play nice.”

 

Stretch didn’t know what to do. Blue was backing him into a corner. He looked to Sans for support, but Sans was having his own dilemma. Papyrus was showing interest in this offer; probably because of the leak from the bathroom above them that still hadn’t been fixed, or maybe because of the mold that had lodged itself firmly in the windowsill and the fridge, or maybe…

 

Sans spoke up. “anyone who wants to room with you?” his grin stretched. “how many roommates can you handle, kid?” if this human was involved in the missing amalgamates, what better way to keep an eye on them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I love shrimp chips.  
> What have you gotten yourself into?! Next chapter - Meeting Underfell!Papyrus (Edge)
> 
> HEY DO YOU LIKE THIS STORY? THEN CONSIDER THIS:  
> two questions.  
> 1\. would you all be interested if, in the future, I made some sort of poll to let you pick which AU comes out of the mountain next?  
> 2\. Would there be any interest in me making a tumblr for this entire multiverse, where i might post little behind the scenes things and where you could ask the characters questions?
> 
> food for thought! i'll probably add these questions to the notes for the next few chapters and see what kind of response comes in within the next couple weeks or something.


	8. Someone is an Ungrateful Brat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READY FOR SOME UNDERFELL PAPYRUS?!?!?! TOO BAD HERE HE IS HOT TOPIC EXTRAORDINAIRE!!!!!
> 
> Also some more Red. And more violence!
> 
> Honestly I have a bunch of chapters done and I'm resisting the urge to just post ten new chapters at once and recieve that sweet, sweet, validation. But they haven't all been Beta'd and i get more validation if I go slow... but expect some chapters coming out relatively fast as they get beta'd.
> 
> HEY DO YOU LIKE THIS STORY? THEN CONSIDER THIS:  
> two questions.  
> 1\. would you all be interested if, in the future, I made some sort of poll to let you pick which AU comes out of the mountain next?  
> 2\. Would there be any interest in me making a tumblr for this entire multiverse, where i might post little behind the scenes things and where you could ask the characters questions?
> 
> food for thought! i'll probably add these questions to the notes for the next few chapters and see what kind of response comes in within the next couple weeks or something.

What. The fuck. Had you been thinking. What had you been thinking?! Okay sure, you could be impulsive, but usually that was fine! Jumping into a fight unprepared? Great! Adrenaline hits and the worst that happens is a broken bone! Taking that dare to do the high dive when you didn’t know how to swim? You figured out how to doggy paddle just as the lifeguard got to you. Someone tries to mug you and you go to grab his gun? Well, he wasn’t expecting it and you walk home with all the shit he took that day! But offering to rent an apartment with your new friends and their brothers? That had some serious real world consequences! And your word. Is your fucking. Bond. no backing out now, y/n. Good job. You rested your head on the desk of the cheap motel, letting out a pathetic moan. Now four of them wanted to live with you. Two of them were in the royal guard. One hated you. And that last guy, Sans, something about him made you feel uncomfortable. You weren’t sure why yet, but your instincts screamed that his smile was all for Papyrus’ benefit.

Honestly, the best part about that night had been meeting Papyrus. He was just a really sweet guy, a lot like Blue. When you learned that he liked puzzles you were able to recommend a number of video games, some of which he claimed to have heard of but had never been able to purchase. His lack of professor layton titles was downright tragic. You had even texted your sister for more titles, since she had always been the puzzle solver. Hopefully she'd respond. You could solve puzzles, sure, but it was just always easier to punch things. You hadn’t had to worry too much about puzzles in a long time. But best not to dwell on the past.

You opened up a new incognito window on your laptop, logging into the anti-monster forums for the first time since you had taken care of Lisa’s friends. You felt anger rise the more you looked over the pages. You loved violence, but what’s the point when your enemy can’t even fight back? Not to mention treating the monsters as- no, worse than animals. Your non-dominant hand groped in a side drawer for your stress ball as you looked for anything that was of use to you. No mobs or rallies planned any time soon; the soonest was for surface day. Heh. maybe you could go out and have some fun then. The chat forums were equally uninteresting, mostly people complaining about gross monsters or ones they were forced to work with. Could be useful if you ever need to find those particular monsters, you guessed. And then you went to the bounty forums.

These were obviously the worst. There were hits out on a couple monsters just for living in human districts. Some even on monster children. Many for monsters and humans that dared to be in relationships with each other. The romantic in you wanted to get to work here, finding the ones that posted these and getting them taken down. But then you found something even more interesting. More important. One of the bounties had been taken and they were looking for more volunteers, stupid posting publicly when and where the hit would take place. The hit on a skeleton royal guard. Blue and Papyrus were under your protection. You took out your planner and wrote the details in.

 

If not for a certain person, Red would have liked working at the lab. Measuring variables, tracking results, even writing lab reports could be kind of relaxing. It was hard to believe that only a year ago he had been one of the most efficient killers in the underground. Well, in his underground, anyway. And now here he was, leaning back in an office chair, going over fuckin’ spreadsheets, of all things. Spreadsheets! Alphys- no, Riyu, walked over to drop more papers in front of him, sparing a disapproving glance at his attire.

The yellow lizard monster had taken a name from one of her bullshit animes or something to distinguish herself from the other clan’s versions of herself. “Red,” she said in an even tone, “could you at least wear your lab coat when you’re here?”

He chuckled. “I ain’t workin' with samples, so don’t see why i hafta.”

Riyu rolled her eyes. “It’s a sign of professionalism. Honestly i don’t know why Doctor Gaster insisted you work in the labs. You’re just as worthless here as you were as a sentry underground. I’m obviously far more competent.”

“eh, the old man always gets his way, don’t he?” Red shrugged. “but i gotta say, i agree with you.”

She raised a scaled eyebrow. “You do, now?”

“yeah. You can handle this yourself, way better than i ever could.” she seemed to perk up at his praise, until he dumped all of his papers onto her desk and took a shortcut out of the room. He paused on the other side of the door just long enough to listen to her curses of frustration, before he started walking out of the lab.

“taking an early day again?” Sans had rolled his office chair to block the path to the exit.

“why, got a problem with that sans?” Red liked Sans. Sure they had their differences, but he was genuinely good for kidding around with, and not a half bad drinking buddy.

“just wondered if you’ve seen anything interesting lately. especially involving amalgamates?”

Now that was out of the blue. “can’t say i have pal,” Red responded. “why, somethin’ happening you wanna share with the class?”

“just been a few absences lately. Trying to figure out who needs to be sent to the principal’s office.” Sans grinned and quirked a browbone, but Red easily got the underlying message.

“your metaphors are shit, classic. but i got nothing. any leads on your end?”

“Some weird human with high LV has been asking about amalgamates around Tale.” what? Did humans know about what amalgamates were? The monster community had been treating them as if they were just normal monsters, at least around humans. “this same human has also been hanging out with blue and paps. even went so far as to ask them to be her roommates.”

“her?” Red licked his lips. If some human girl wanted to spend quality time with skeleton monsters, he could be persuaded to help them out…

“oh come on, red. Keep it in your pants.” Sans groaned but Red just laughed. “I’m just saying, i think she might be involved with something. i know she’s hiding something, i can feel it in her soul.”

“heh, thanks sans, but you’re just makin me wanna meet this chick for myself. If she’s hiding something, i bet i could get it outta her. bet i could get a lot outta her…”

“gross red. Just watch out for yourself, and edge. apparently blue talks about her and keeps trying to get her over to stretch’s place for dinner behind his back, and ever since she bought paps some new video games he won’t stop texting her and talking about her.”

“yeah, i gotcha. i’ve been up here almost a year buddy, i think i know how to deal with kiss-ass humans.” Sans just shook his head. “by the way, sans, check that place before you go home today, kay?”

Sans nodded and Red finally left the building.

Sans would later check a locker near the training grounds to find that Red had left him another manilla envelope.

One of the things that set Red apart from his counterparts was the topic of LV. When he came to the surface, sure, at first he had been surprised by how often he saw LV above one. But then he learned how similar it was to his underground. Sure there were rules in place, but the unspoken one was kill or be killed. The only real difference was here they could do it under the sun or stars. He was more worried about people with EXP. But then, there was that human from the other night… the one with high EXP. The one who hadn't tried to pick a fight or hurt anyone, or even run away. Stars, if he had been in her position he woulda picked a fight for sure. It was because of her that he stayed late at Grillbys again that night, as he had most nights since then, hoping to see her. He wanted to know what made her tick. And, maybe he'd like to see how that pretty little face looked writhing beneath him, begging for more… he shook himself from his thoughts. He needed to get laid more often. 

He reached for his mustard and whiskey drink, downing the last of it as he watched the bar. Still no human. Too bad. Figuring it was time to head home, Red slapped some gold on the counter and left. Hopefully his bro was already asleep and wouldn't chew him out. Didn't he say he was working a night shift this week, though? It would be just his luck that it was tonight.

Sure enough, when he opened the door Edge was just putting up his armor, and turned at the sound of the closing door. 

“YOU IDIOT, WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT SO LATE?” Edge turned to his brother with hands on his hips. 

Red flinched, waiting for the tirade of yelling and insults. But it didn't come. Was- was boss genuinely asking what he had been doing? “uh, I was out at grillbys, lookin' for someone. They, uh, didn't show.”

“STILL WASTING YOUR TIME WITH FRUITLESS ENDEAVORS.” and yet, there was no bite to his words. In fact, was he… humming?

“uh, and what did you get up to tonight, boss?”

“A GROUP OF HUMANS ATTEMPTED TO DUST ME, BUT BEFORE I COULD PROPERLY PUNISH THEM A MASKED HUMAN APPEARED AND TOOK THEM ALL OUT.” Edge continued humming as he went about his nightly routine, Red trailing behind.

“ya mean to say that a group of humans showed up to dust you-”

“YES YOU IMBECILE, WERE YOU NOT LISTENING.”

“but that before they could, another human, wearin’ a mask, showed up an’ dusted them first?”

“WELL ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE MOST OF THE GROUP SURVIVED.”

 

Edge was not a fan of night duty. He preferred to sleep and rise early. The skeleton had attempted to talk to Asgore about setting various traps rather than having a night shift, but his ideas had been shot down, citing things like ‘innocent people also getting trapped’, and ‘extra expenses for equipment’. 

While he had not been around for it, and while there hadn’t really been much excitement recently, he had heard the stories of the early days of the embassy, when there had been protests against monsters late into the night, and even several assassination attempts. So he knew better than to argue too much about his work. As it was, he was not some weak dog that could be distracted or made to do a less than perfect job just because it was not his preferred time slot. As he stood guard, he lamented the fact that he didn't have a license to use magic. He had heard now that the other two, Papyrus and Blue, had already received one, despite them being nowhere near as perfect and efficient as he was. They had even got to display their powers with the human police on special missions! Not that he had been listening to their conversations, or jealous of their camaraderie. They were weak and beneath him. Anyway, he had to focus on his bet with Undyne-wait, what was she calling herself now? Oh, Sahme- and receive a license before her. So he went about his utterly boring job, protecting the embassy from nothing in particular. And when one of the dogs took his place, he walked home severely lacking in job satisfaction. 

He heard the footsteps following him almost immediately. He took a few random turns to make sure, but they were definitely following him. At least four of them. No, five. The last set was almost competent enough to be quiet when tracking a target. The others didn't appear to even be trying to hide their presence. He scoffed. Amateurs. His hand drifted to the baton at his side. He may not be allowed to use magic, but he would defend himself from any humans foolish enough to believe him an easy target. The next few seconds lasted far longer than scientifically possible. There was the clean snick of a knife opening. Edge spun around to see a group of four male humans moving to surround him. The one closest made to slash at his bones with the knife. 

And then the fifth human came out of nowhere, body slamming the assailant to the ground. Edge stared in shock at you, dressed all in dark gray, hair tied back and your strange mask covering your face. One of the males swung a bat at the masked one, but you easily ducked and brought your own weapon up after the bat passed over your head, dragging a large knife from the bat wielder’s gut up to his sternum. He let out a strangled cry as he fell to the side, the bat falling to the ground. The first one was on his feet again, and one of the unhurt was running away, but the third had pulled a gun on you. But this was not your first time staring down a barrel of a gun, oh no. As Edge moved to capture the first attacker, you ran at the gunman, dodging just as you saw the muscles tense to pull the trigger.

You weren’t exactly fast enough. There was a force that pushed at your arm and a burning pain as the bullet tore through the muscle there and came out cleanly on the other side. And then the bullet continued to hit Edge in the ribs. He cried out in pain, but still kicked the first man down again. Meanwhile, your left arm had dropped your spare knife, but you continued forward and cut the gunman across the chest, then again on his arm to make him drop the gun before he could pull it in close to aim at you, and then again at his face, out of spite. He fell to his knees, screaming and covering his wounded face with his good arm.

One man lay kneeling on the ground, Edge having somehow tied him up. The other man was bleeding out from his deep stomach wound, and the skeleton was attempting to stabilize him with magic. He figured he wouldn’t get in trouble for that, right? And this third man was kneeling and sobbing, bleeding from three gashes on his body. 

But he had pulled a gun on you. And you did not appreciate that. Your sheathed your knife. Your fingers twitched. You picked the fallen bat from the ground. And you walked over to the man crying in pain. Testing your grip in your left hand and finding it painful but usable, you gripped the bat. And then brought it down hard against his ribs with a sickening crack. Edge fell back from his work in surprise and openly stared. You stepped to change your angle, and brought it down again on his spine. “You think.” a hit to his stomach. “That you can get away.” you couldn’t hear him crying anymore. “With shooting me?”

You stepped back, panting but smiling and feeling pretty satisfied.

When you had first come upon the obvious group with their weapons and followed them, you quickly learned that the skeleton guard in question was neither Blue nor Papyrus, but in fact a third skeleton. In many ways he resembled Papyrus, tall and lean, but with cracks on his skull and jagged shark-like teeth. But you had time to kill, so you interfered. And you had gotten a hole in your arm for your troubles.

The man you had practically gutted was still bleeding, but the wound looked much smaller. The skeleton dropped into a defensive position as you approached.

“Hi there!” you waved at him cheerily. “You should probably get going before human cops show up.” you were near the monster/human border, so the cops would take their time. Assuming anyone had bothered to call them yet.

Edge stared at you, not running away. “THERE IS STILL ONE MISCREANT TO BE TAKEN DOWN.”

“Wow buddy, you don’t have much in the way of volume control, do you?” you crossed your arms, wincing at the pain in your left one. It probably didn’t hurt as much as it should because you were in shock. Then you remembered what Boss had given everyone at the last meeting, and pulled it from the pouch in your belt. “If you really want to go after the runner, I won’t stop you, but he was headed deep into human territory. I think that way was King territory, no less.” you popped the monster candy in your mouth, and could practically feel your wound healing. It was not a comfortable feeling. However, it lasted only a few seconds, and you could tell that there was still very much a hole in your arm. Monster food must have limits.

He popped his own piece of candy in his mouth. “YOU MISUNDERSTAND HUMAN. THE LAST LAWBREAKER IS YOU!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! Next chapter: bonetrousle?! 
> 
> If you enjoy reading this story, consider checking out the other works in the series. As of now only Embassy Exploits have been written, but there's more in the works. the skeletons weren't the only ones to come from other undergrounds.
> 
> HEY DO YOU LIKE THIS STORY? THEN CONSIDER THIS:  
> two questions.  
> 1\. would you all be interested if, in the future, I made some sort of poll to let you pick which AU comes out of the mountain next?  
> 2\. Would there be any interest in me making a tumblr for this entire multiverse, where i might post little behind the scenes things and where you could ask the characters questions?
> 
> food for thought! i'll probably add these questions to the notes for the next few chapters and see what kind of response comes in within the next couple weeks or something.


	9. Wow, That Hurts. Like, a LOT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY HECKERS YA READY FOR SOME FIGHTIN?!
> 
> READY FOR A VIOLENT INTERACTION?!
> 
> READY FOR A TUMBL?!
> 
> okay yeah, not a typo. because i wanted to, i made a tumblr for all this. more than one person showed interest, which is crazy, but if you wanna come validate me, here's where we stand:   
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> go and ask your favorite characters questions! ask your least favorite characters questions! ask background characters if they'll ever be relevant!
> 
> and now, back to the previously scheduled program.

You barely got out of the way as he ran at you. You turned and ran into monster territory, as it would be safer from the police, but you didn’t understand. You had helped the bastard! Why was he chasing you?! And how was he catching up so damn fast?

 

“You couldn’t just be grateful for the help?” you called as you turned into an alley. You fought well in close quarters. You arm appearing well enough to use, you drew out two short metal batons, bringing them up just as Edge brought his own down on you.

 

“NYEH HEH HEH! I HAD NO NEED OF YOUR HELP, HUMAN!” 

 

He dropped and kicked your legs out from under you, but you managed to land on your knees and catch his next kick between your weapons. You spun his leg and managed to knock him off balance. “Damn, you’re doing pretty well for someone who just took a bullet!” You called out.

 

He caught himself with his hands, pulled his leg free of your grasp, spun, and landed a punch on your arms as you brought them up just in time to spare your face. “I COULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU, HUMAN! UNLESS I IMAGINED THAT WOUND ON YOUR ARM. SAY, WHERE DID YOU BUY YOUR MONSTER CANDY?” Monster candy wasn’t illegal if it stayed within city limits, but it was a concentrated form of monster food that was rarely sold to humans. He was trying to pump you for information while fighting!

 

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell!” You grabbed his arm and yanked him towards you, planting a knee in his gut. Or, where a gut would have been, on a normal person. “Fuck.”

 

He grinned maliciously, and grabbed your right arm with his free hand, twisting it behind your back. “MAYBE IF YOU PROVE YOURSELF USEFUL, HUMAN, I’LL EVEN LET YOU GO WITHOUT TURNING YOU IN TO THE HUMAN AUTHORITIES! AREN’T YOU LUCKY!”

 

You twisted out of his grip, feeling something tear in your arm as you did so, and managed to kick him in the spine, knocking him back. The adrenaline rushed through you. This was the hardest fight you had been in since… how long now? You let out a laugh. “You know what! I am damn lucky! I wish i could fight someone like you more often!” You dove at him again, too focused to notice the magic red blush rising to his cheeks. You don’t know when you both dropped your weapons, but now you were just trading kicks and punches back and forth in this relatively small space.

 

“O-OF COURSE YOU’RE BLESSED TO GET TO SPAR WITH THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE P-EDGE! MANY WOULD KILL FOR THIS HONOR!” It was when one of your kicks sent him sprawling that he realized something. He was barely losing any HP. you two had been fighting for a while, but after being hit by that bullet he had hardly gone down in health at all. Which could only mean one thing. There was no ill intent behind your attacks. He paused, switching to a more defensive stance. “HUMAN! HOW DO YOU INTEND TO WIN THIS FIGHT?”

 

You paused as well, panting from exhaustion. “I was kind of hoping to wear you down. Unless you wanna give me a reason to kill you?”

 

“HA! EVEN THOUGH I HAVE CHASED YOU DOWN, YOU DO NOT YET WISH TO KILL ME?” You were battered and bruised, and losing the energy that the monster candy had provided. He could see it. While somewhat tired himself, he was a monster who had trained for years to fight. He was far from the level of some squishy human. He stood tall, wiping his clothes off as best he could. “THEN FOR TONIGHT LET US CALL IT A DRAW. YOU FOUGHT WELL HUMAN.”

 

You blinked. He wasn’t trying to catch you anymore? Warily, you moved to retrieve your fallen weapons. “You’re giving up?”

 

“HA! YOU WISH. HOW ABOUT INSTEAD, WE CONTINUE THIS ANOTHER TIME?”

 

“Depends. If i lose, will you turn me over to the human authorities, or will it simply be friendly sparring?”

 

“THERE WILL BE NO FRIENDLY ANYTHING!” he paused, shooting you a glare. “HOWEVER, IF YOU LIKE, YOU MAY CALL IT A RIVALRY. MEET ME AT FELL PARK NEXT WEEK AT THIS TIME.” without waiting for an answer, he strode off.

 

You grinned. This was gonna be fun. “Just wait until you see me when i haven’t just been shot!” you called after him, “we’re gonna have so much fun!”

 

Edge was surprised to find himself smiling at the thought.

  
  
  


You needed to get home and assess the damage to your body. you could already feel some pain making it's way past your fading adrenaline. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through your contacts for a ride, and landed on your best bet. The person on the other end quickly picked up.

 

“Fang? You need something?”

 

“Hey Anny. i kind of got into a fight and i need a ride home.” you smiled fondly as he cursed you for making him get out of bed. “Yeah, love you too Mugs,” you responded affectionately.

 

“Like you’d ever say that if i wasn’t doing you a favor. You’re lucky you’re my favorite.”

 

“I’m everyone’s favorite,” you replied dismissively.

 

“Heh,” you could hear the starting of a car in the background, “tell that to Jackie.”

 

You sat, leaning against the wall. “He loves me deep down. And he got the job didn’t he? He’ll probably be getting his pin soon. I’m just Boss’ guard dog.”

 

“You’re more than your fangs, Fang. See you in ten.” He hung up.

 

You, worth more than your fangs? You wouldn’t count on it. The alley was peaceful, the kind of quiet that wasn’t true quiet, the constant interruptions of dogs barking or kids yelling as they walked home, or cars passing audible in the background. But, being in monster territory, it was quieter than you were used to. You tried to close your eyes and relax your sore body, but it amplified the stench of your surroundings. So instead you stared up at the stars. What was your star sign again? You chuckled, wondering what your horoscope for the day would have been. Maybe something like ‘you will save a stranger’s life, but then he’ll chase you down until you fight and befriend him’. Or, ‘you beat the shit out of some would-be assassins’. Maybe your blood type was fated to befriend or be-enemy every skeleton you meet.

 

You wondered what your sister would think of you here, damaged from by the person you had tried to protect. She’d lecture your brashness and commend your kindness in the same sentence. and your brother; Allyn would tell you that you’d gone too far. You hadn’t bothered checking on the well being of your victims. You sighed. You missed them. the occasional calls weren't enough. But you weren’t ready to face them quite yet.

 

You were pulled from your thoughts as Anny’s car appeared before you. “Fang! You look like shit, as always.” he grinned and unlocked the doors for you.

 

You climbed in, responding to his remarks of you looking awful, refusing his offers of a doctor, accepting his offers of him doing a quick once over for anything you might’ve missed, and one-upping his sex jokes. It was a comfortable ride, and you realized you hadn’t spent this much time alone with a human friend for quite a while.

 

“Hey Anny.”

 

“Yeah, y/n?”

 

“You know any good neighborhoods that have both humans and monsters living in em?”

 

“A couple. I can ask around. Why?” He pulled into the Motel lot and walked with you to your room.

 

“I’m gonna be moving with some monster friends.” you dug through your pockets for the keys.

 

“Holy shit, y/n, you made friends?!” he laughed as you hit him, and the two of you stepped inside your room.

 

“Laugh it up old man. But yeah, i made a few friends. A couple enemies too, maybe? And i guess tonight i made a rival.” You kicked off your shoes and started stripping after you pointed out the first aid kid to your companion.

 

“A rival? Is that part of the story to how i found you beat up in an alley with no other bodies? You usually give better than you get.”

 

“Yeah. Apparently some monsters are hella durable. We were fighting for ages and we took about the same number of hits, but he didn’t seem to tire at all.” You were in your underwear now, and nodded at Anny when he asked permission to start cleaning the blood from your bruised and battered flesh.

 

“Monsters don’t work the same as us. Something to do with you having to actually want to hurt them in order to hurt them? If you guys were just playing around, you probably weren’t doing any real damage at all. Fucking-!” he had reached your arm and grabbed it roughly, pointing to your bullet wound. “When the fuck did you get shot y/n?!”

 

“Ow, shit Anny! I got shot tonight, but i took some monster candy. Healed up pretty well, right?” he practically threw your arm down and looked over your body again for other injuries.

 

“Dammit, you pulled a muscle in one arm and took a bullet in the other. I’m honestly surprised monster candy fixed it up this much.”

 

“I honestly avoided looking at it. I just know it hurts like hell. What’s the leftover damage?”

 

“Ha. leftover damage, like you’re fine.” he face palmed into one hand. “How many times have you been shot, y/n?”

 

“This might be the first time i’ve actually been hit?” It was almost apologetic.

 

“Well the candy seems to have cleaned up the wound pretty well, and kept you from bleeding out by some miracle. You’re missing a chunk of flesh here that’ll take a while to heal though.” he was already padding some gauze around the area, presumably having cleaned it already.

 

“Gonna hurt like a bitch after the adrenaline high, huh?”

 

“You saying it doesn’t now?”

 

“I can handle it. Your pain tolerance is shit compared to mine.”

 

He laughed. “Well, even if you eat monster food for three meals a day, which you shouldn’t since you won’t get your nutrients, it would take a week or two, at least, for this to heal up. You’ll probably have another scar. I recommend at least one meal’s worth of monster food a day, from what i’ve seen with our fighter’s recovery times recently.” It was quiet for a bit as he moved to your other injuries, but finally he finished cleaning you up and pulled out a jar of balm for the bruising. “We’ve really been benefiting from the monster food deal we made. But that monster’s shop is creepy as hell! Spiders all over, and she works with her twin sister or something.”

 

“Is that the weird tingly stuff from China?” you asked, eyeing the new jar. It had been a while since you’d been banged up enough for him to use it on you.

 

“Tiger balm. You need it pretty much all over. While I’m at it, if you want me to any _other_ kind of massaging for you… ow.” you had hit him again, with some actual strength behind it this time. “Hurting my arm and my feelings.”

 

“No way am I going a round in the sack with you when I’m already this banged up. You think i forgot last time?”

 

“I apologized! But i was wondering why you hadn’t called in a while. Figured you were getting your benefits elsewhere?” you hummed, neither confirming nor denying, so he just went back to work on your bruises. “Anyway, you’ll have to actually take it easy on both your arms for the next few days, to give your torn ligaments time to heal, and then probably a month before you can have your left arm totally back to normal.”

 

“A month?! Even with monster food?!” You stared at him aghast. You couldn’t just rest an arm for a month! A fighter who doesn’t properly use both arms if they have them is useless. You were already on the bench with finding out monster information, but this just made you feel… weak. You didn’t like feeling weak.

 

“AND I’m telling Boss about this. Anyone who shoots one of our masks is not getting off easy.”

 

“I’ll tell you where I left them. I gutted one, and at least cracked some ribs on the shooter. Knocked over a guy who drew a knife, and the fourth person ran away.” you gave him the address and he wrote it down before going back to your wounds. He had made quick work of your torso, and was working on your arms.

 

“What did you get into anyway?”

 

“Breaking up a monster hit.”

 

“Psh, surprised you’re playing hero.”

 

“The description sounded like one of my friends.” Well, it could have been one of two friends. Just your luck it was neither. But maybe they were your friend now? Ugh, you wanted to spar with them, but if Anny said to rest your arm…

 

“And?”

 

“It wasn’t my friend, but i took the guys down anyway.”

 

“You get bored pretty quickly when you’re not running errands for boss all the time, don’t you.” He moved on to your legs, and his nimble hands felt good as they rubbed the stuff into your sore muscles. There was more aching and less real hurting there.

 

“Maybe I do.”

 

“Well, ya got hurt pretty badly this time around.” he finally finished. “I’ll leave you. You want us to send someone to help you out? Could send one of the boys or girls that are easy on the eyes.”

 

“I appreciate it man, but I think I’ll be fine.”

 

“Well, let me or Boss know if you change your mind. I’m headed out, then.”

 

You locked the door after him and decided that cleaning up was a job for another time. You didn’t want the gang sending you a maid out of pity or anything, though. You could take care of yourself. Definitely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so heres???? a tumblr????????? for you to look at i guess??????????????????
> 
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: physical pain and emotional consequences


	10. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can- Wait, Shit, Shit, This is NOT FUN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to all these fast updates! lol but i hope you guys are having fun.
> 
> If you get bored waiting for the next chapter, come to https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/ to come talk to me or, better yet, ask the characters questions!

Everything hurt. Your phone was going off and you didn’t think you even had the energy to grab it off your bedside table. You forced your eyes open and turned your head. You were apparently receiving many text messages from Blue, from what you could see of the screen. You closed your eyes again. You felt gross and sticky and hurt-y and everything smelled like that fucking tiger balm, vaguely minty and sharp. You wanted to be clean. But that meant getting up, which was currently impossible. You groaned. Maybe you should call for help from Boss. have him send over a cute new recruit to give you a sponge bath or some shit. But that would require you to pick up your phone, and then you would have to dial their number, and then you would have to hold the phone to your ear for the entire conversation, and you just didn’t think you were physically capable of that at the moment.

 

You must have passed out again, but this time you awoke to knocking at your door. What time was it? Shit. it was almost three in the afternoon and you hadn’t eaten. Your stomach rumbled in protest and you dragged yourself out of bed. Stars, everything hurt. Your bullet wound especially. But, i mean, go figure. You yelled something about ‘gimme a minute’ in an attempt to placate the knocking, and grabbed a piece of bread to tear into as you went to the door. Peeking through the peephole, you were shocked to find Blue.

 

“Y/N? ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU DIDN’T COME OVER FOR VIDEO GAMES, AND YOU HAVEN’T BEEN RESPONDING TO MY CALLS OR TEXTS, SO I GOT WORRIED AND CAME OVER!” He called through the door.

 

Dammit, you worried him. You opened the door. “Sorry Blue, I um, slept in and-”

 

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!”

 

You slammed the door shut.

 

Several facts jumped to the forefront of your mind. First, you were covered in bruises. Next, you were wearing only your underwear from the day before, leaving said bruises on display. Your right arm was bandaged, compressed to help heal the torn muscle. Your left arm had a bloodied patch of gauze taped to it. And finally, there were bloodied clothes and weapons all over your floor. Perfect!

 

Blue, meanwhile, was reeling. He had been so shocked when you opened the door covered in green and purple bruises that he was only now coming to terms with the fact that you hadn’t been wearing any clothes. His face was heated, almost completely blue from his magic. Maybe, when you had your clothes on, he could heal some of the bruising? Maybe you didn’t need to put your clothes on… just so he could make sure he healed it completely! Wait! He was getting distracted! Why were you covered in bruises?! **W H O  H A D H U R T Y O U.**

 

You put the chain on the door and scanned your surroundings. The first thing to do was hide anything with blood on it. You wrapped your weapons from last night in the bloody clothes and shoved them under the bed. The bed! The bed had lots of blood on it! You stripped the cheap motel sheets and shoved them under the bed as well.

 

“UM, Y/N, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” he was worried, but there was something else under his voice, a tension that you hadn’t heard from him before.

 

You were very much not alright. Your arms were screaming in protest, your legs and back also piping up in mild complaint at all this movement. Your mattress cover had been spared the mess, so you moved on to the next problem. Clothes!

 

“I’m fine!” you called out, rummaging for baggy clothes. Ugh, of course this would happen in the spring. You threw on an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. He had seen the bruising for sure, but maybe he hadn’t noticed all the smaller cuts? They would go away as soon as you got some monster food in you, anyway. Was there anything leftover in your fridge? You dashed to check.

 

“IF YOU ARE FINE, WHY DID YOU SLAM THE DOOR ON ME?”

 

Shit, you had nothing! You needed to shop in the monster district more often. All your movement seemed to re-open your bullet wound, and it was quickly bleeding through the bandage. Okay, okay, damage control. What would be a good excuse?

 

You opened the door to Blue. “Sorry, my place was such a mess that i was embarassed.” it was still a mess. Just not a bloody one. “Um, can we reschedule video games?”

 

Blue looked you over. You hadn’t managed to hide the bruising on your arms, nor the bandage… that you were… bleeding through… “Y/N! You’re bleeding!” he pushed past you and quickly located the first aid kit that Anny had left by the bed.

 

“I can do it!” you hurried over, trying to take the kit from him, but he refused.

 

“You are going to one-handedly bandage your serious-looking wound, high on your arm? I am aware that humans are not quite dextrous enough for that angle to work.” He glanced at the empty bed, and huffed. “Let’s do this in your bathroom. You’ve done enough damage to this room.”

 

Did he know…? You followed his stare, which was now directed to several bloodstains on the floor. Oops. he sat you down on the toilet and prepared a clean bandage while you tried to think of accidents normal people had that could cause a wound like yours. Perhaps it was from stress, but the only things you could come up with were kitchen accident and cut yourself shaving. Both ridiculous and not really believable. What were sharp things normal people had in their houses? Or encountered on the street? Besides knives?

 

As he removed the bandage, Blue hissed at the extensive damage. There was a hole in your arm. A HOLE. “What happened?” his voice was hard, unyielding. You couldn’t meet his eyes.

 

“I, uh, tripped and… fell… on a spike.” nailed it.

 

“I am not stupid, y/n.” you still couldn’t look at him. “And you appear to be a poor liar.” his shaking hands took the washcloth from your sink and wiped at the blood coming from the wound. And then he put his hands around it, and tried to heal.

 

Blue was good at healing magic. However, just like monster food, it is made to heal monsters, not humans. He had healed humans plenty of times, mending broken bones, closing cuts, healing burns, but this... Blue watched as the hole in your flesh slowly started to fill in, but no matter how hard he concentrated, he could only restore an incredibly small portion before exhausting his magical reserves. Breathing hard, he turned to you. 

 

“y/n. I tried to heal you, but i couldn’t fix it.” His voice wasn’t tough anymore, and it broke near the end. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t fix it!” he put on new bandages before clutching at your shirt.

 

Something wet fell onto you, and you saw that he was crying blue-tinted tears. You raised your other arm, unsure, but then placed it on his back as he leaned into you. “I-it’s okay Blue. it doesn’t hurt that bad.” Lies. “I’ll heal up fast.” Probably not. “I’m totally fine.” You really wanted to go back to bed.

 

“THERE’S A HOLE IN YOUR ARM!” he wailed.

 

Shit. your motherly/comforting skills were way out of practice. That had always been your sister’s thing. But you did know how to keep people distracted. “Hey. Hey Blue. I need you to focus, okay?” he looked up at you, so you knew he was listening. “Look, thanks for changing my bandages, but I gotta pee. But i haven’t eat all day, and i need food and rest. Can you find food while i use the bathroom?” He nodded. “Good. that’s your mission.” you gave him a gentle push, and he shot you a look you couldn’t read before dashing out of the bathroom.

 

When you came back out, arm admittedly feeling a bit better after whatever Blue had done, you found him having a staring contest with the pantry. It looked like the pantry was losing. There were three mugs of tea on the counter beside him. Wait. three?

 

“Ah, y/n! You didn’t have any proper food, so I called Papyrus over!”

 

“Wha?” he ushered you over to the sheet-less bed, stacking pillows so that you were in a sitting position.

 

“I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your lack of proper nutritious food is due to you having been living in a one room motel for only a few days. You must not have had the time for proper shopping!”  Well, he wasn’t wrong. “So I called Papyrus over to join us, and told him to buy some food for you. Worry not! We will make you a nutritious dinner full of love! Friendship love!” he quickly corrected himself, blushing blue. He brought you one of the teas, which you sipped at.

 

You stared blankly for a few seconds. They were making dinner? Maybe you should just… no, you couldn’t sleep; you had to make sure they didn’t find the stuff under your bed, or the weapons under the bathroom sink! But, would they really look there? Maybe they would just accept that your bed had no blankets. It was getting warmer, after all. Ugh! He already saw the blood! You just had to pull the sheets out from under the bed without disturbing the hidden weapons. Why did you hide the blankets?! Well, if your gunshot wound hadn’t started bleeding, it could have been bad, you supposed. But it wasn’t. In fact, he had even stopped asking for an explanation. Must have been the shock of the wound?

 

“Blue, could you do me another favor?” you asked as you sipped at the tea. It really calmed you down. You don’t remember buying it, though. More of a soda or instant coffee girl.

 

“Anything,” he said with such sincerity that you briefly considered asking for something stupid, just to frazzle him, but thought better of it.

 

“The washcloth from earlier, could you rinse the blood off so it doesn’t stain?”

 

“Absolutely!” he took off for the bathroom.

 

You waited a few seconds to roll off of the bed and pull out the sheets. Sure enough, as you tugged them out from under the bed, your clothes from the night before came as well. Just as you got all of the blankets, the door burst open.

 

“The great Papyrus has brought nutrition!” Papyrus called out.

 

You fell over yourself shoving the small bundles of cloth back under the bed, just managing to get them out of sight before he noticed you on the floor.

 

“Human y/n! Why are you on the floor? Blue told me that you were hurt!” Papyrus was holding several plastic bags, presumedly full of groceries, but set them down in the kitchen area before moving over to you. “Did you fall out of bed?”

 

“Yup.” it was so much easier when people provided their own answers.

 

This answer, however, led to Papyrus picking you up and setting you back on the bed. “Return to your resting, my friend!” He patted your head and picked up the blankets to lay over you, but his eyes boggled when he saw the blood all over them. “Human y/n why is there so much ketchup on your sheets! Please tell me you were not drinking it! No one but Sans should do something so disgusting! Well! He shouldn’t do it either!”

 

You paused, torn between correcting him or just letting him believe it was ketchup, when Blue returned. “Ah! Papyrus! I’m glad you’re here! And you found y/n’s bedsheets! I will clean them while you prepare the meal.”

 

“Blue, don’t bother trying to clean them,” you called out. “Just soak the stains in hydrogen peroxide and let them soak in a bath of cold water. I think there’s spares in that cabinet.” you pointed and he nodded. You soon found yourself drifting off again.

 

You awoke to the smell of spaghetti.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh! our boys aren't so keen on seeing reader hurt.
> 
> enjoy the story? enjoy the characters? enjoy a cold refreshing bepis? come talk to me or any characters at https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> please im stuck in Japan and i'm very lonely
> 
> coming up: exactly where did those injuries come from?


	11. Is There a Target on my Back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might be getting a few more chapters this week, if I can convince myself that i can beta my own work well enough.  
> i still cant believe all the kudos on this fic tho, thank you all so much!
> 
> want more Skeletons in your life? Wanna ask a character a question or some shit? come talk to me on tumblr!
> 
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

The boys were being absolute sweethearts. They had brought you a bowl of spaghetti in bed, then the three of you sat in bed together and watched superhero movies on your television. Blue must have said something to Papyrus while you slept, because the taller skeleton hadn’t asked about your injuries at all. And you had given up hiding the ones Blue had already seen. In fact, it felt like he had healed more while you slept. The torn muscles in your right arm held only a dull ache, as compared to the burning pain from before. Your arms were also suspiciously lacking in bruises.

“While you slept, Blue and I devised a plan!” Papyrus suddenly piped up. It was getting late, and they would probably leave soon. And you could finally clean up your other… bloodied items.

“Oh?” you set down the remote. “For what?”

“For getting you better!” Blue said excitedly, gently taking your left hand with stars in his eyes. “We’ll work on looking for a house and every day we’ll make you magic healing food! And we’ve both decided that it would be easier to help you if you stayed with me for now!”

You blinked once, looking at his skeletal hands wrapped firmly around your fleshy one. You blinked again, looking at his bright and eager face. “I, um. Don’t think I can stay at your house. Thanks for the thought, though.”

Blue looked at you sternly. “Why not? You still haven’t told me how you got these injuries, so how do i know someone out there isn’t trying to hurt you! Unlike this motel, my house is super-duper safe!”

“Psh, as long as I’m here, this motel is also super-duper safe. I’m a tough cookie.”

“Right now you appear neither tough nor a cookie, y/n!” Blue scolded back. “I insist you stay with us until your wound heals. We were going to be roommates anyways, so it only makes sense that you quit renting this rather shady motel room! I have already seen several bugs since I came here, and your neighbor looked quite unfriendly!”

“Didn’t know I had a neighbor…” you mumbled. But if you stayed with Blue, you’d have to leave your weapons behind or risk him finding them. Plus… “Your brother really doesn’t like me. There’s no way he’ll let me stay.”

You weren’t sure when Papyrus had left the bed, but he now reappeared with a couple bags. “Nonsense! He, like Sans, merely has a difficult time warming up to people, humans especially!” Wait… peeking out of the bags, is that your…?

“Papyrus is right! And since he seems to have gathered all of your things, let’s get you home so that you can rest! I found a note in your medical kit labeling some medicine that you are supposed to take!” Huh. Anny must have left it. Wait, Papyrus did what? Blue shoved a couple pills and a glass of water in your face. “Take this, and then we shall away!”

“Hey, I never gave you permission to pack up all my stuff! I’m not leaving!” you pushed away his offerings, and crossed your arms. Bad move. It hurt and you winced.

“y/n. You have opened your wound again,” Blue pointed to the bandage that was once again being soaked in blood, “and you are doing an excellent job of convincing me that you should not be left alone! Let’s get you home so that you can take a bath and get more rest!”

A bath and rest sounded so, so good. And while you were completely sure you could take care of yourself alone, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have free meals? But you had already committed to arguing! You couldn’t back down now! “You want a wounded girl to stay on your couch? No thanks, i’ll stick with my motel bed.”

“You’ll be staying in my bed! Which is also an excellent way for me to make sure you stay safe!”

Switch tactics. “Oh, you really think you can handle me in bed?” you purred.

His face lit up with his magic. “Y-YES! I CAN HANDLE L-LOOKING AFTER A WOUNDED HUMAN J-JUST FINE!”

Papyrus swooped in. where were your bags? They weren’t in his hands anymore- wait! He picked you up, princess style, and spoke in your ear. “There has been a rise in gang activity, and with Blue living in one of the parts of town close to the borders, it would make many of us feel much safer if you were keeping an eye on the house.” Wow, there was something about his voice at this volume that completely disarmed you. It didn’t seem to match at all with the boisterous and energetic personality you had found the tall skeleton to possess. It sounded almost… sultry? But his point shut you up immediately, and you were quiet as you let Papyrus carry you and plop you down in the back seat of a shiny red hotrod. You even reluctantly accepted the medicine and water Blue once more shoved at you. Then the three of you drove away from the motel, in the direction of Blue and Stretch’s home. You wouldn’t really miss the motel, and didn’t look back.

Until you all heard the explosion.

You turned around as Papyrus pulled the car over, and saw smoking from the motel. You couldn’t see very clearly, but it looked as if the blast had completely taken out your room and several of the ones surrounding it. There were soon sirens headed in your direction.

“Papyrus,” you said calmly, “drive.” He did.

Someone had tried to kill you. You quickly took out your phone and sent a text to Boss, making sure to angle the screen so that Blue couldn’t read it. You let him know you were alright, and going somewhere safe. There was no doubt in your mind that he would call a pin meeting soon to discuss this. Sure enough, only a few minutes later he sent you a date and time. Tomorrow night. You were surprised that another text came after it. When you opened it, the message merely said for you not to come alone. Well. that meant that Mugs had told Boss about your injuries.

Papyrus was sweating as he quickly drove to Blue’s place. “Um, may I ask if it is normal for motels to explode?”

“It most certainly is not,” you answer back.

“Who is trying to hurt you?” Blue asked. You looked to see that one of his eyelights had gone out, and the other appeared as a blue flame.

It made you nervous.

“I’m going to take care of it,” was all you said.

That made the little skeleton angry. “You can’t just say that! We don’t know who it is, or why they’re attacking you, and you’re already hurt! You can’t just throw yourself into danger like this! I won’t let you!” he clung to your good arm in the backseat, tears forming in the corners of his eye sockets.

“Blue, it’s okay, I’m okay.” You cupped his face in your hands, wiping away the tears. It felt like a long time since you’d felt comfortable enough to touch someone this much. But he leaned into your touch, not seeming put off. “I’m not going to do it alone. I’m brave, not stupid, promise. I have friends that are gonna help.” you couldn’t have him worry. People hurt when they worried. These two skeletons were the last people in the world you wanted to see hurt. Even if they did work with the police. But Blue was right about one question. Why was someone going to such lengths to hurt you?

Blue threw his arms around you and held you like that until you all arrived. Papyrus carried your things to Blue’s room, and Blue led you in by the hand. Stretch raised a brow bone when he saw you walk in.

“y/n is staying with us for now!” Blue announced as he took you upstairs to his room. He ignored his brother’s noises of protest as he brought you into his room and sat you on the bed. 

Papyrus gave you a gentle hug before leaving. “... I’m going to talk to my human friends at the police station about the explosion.” He decided. “We’ll find who did this, y/n. We’ll bring them to justice!”

You simply nodded, lost in thought, and he left. Blue started going through some drawers as you looked around the room. This was your first time really being in his room. The white plaster walls had plenty of cracks, and the window didn’t have any blinds. Searching, you found the broken blinds in a corner on the floor. The rest of the room was very neat and clean, however. His bed had space themed blankets, and the bed frame looked old but well cared for. His desk held an old boxy computer and several action figures, and from an open drawer you could see a collection of glow stars and planets. You briefly wondered why he hadn’t put them up on the ceiling and walls.

“There!” Blue exclaimed, stealing your attention. “I have found a spare towel and washcloth so that you can bathe and get that strange smell off of you!” he shoved the items into your arms, before pulling you to follow him to the bathroom. 

In the hall, you saw Stretch poke his head out of his room to glare at you. One eye flashed orange in warning, and he retreated. You were becoming more nervous by the second. Normally you wouldn’t be fazed by perceived threats, but you felt so weak, so tired, that you didn’t know if you could protect yourself. You realized you would be relying on Blue a lot until you could get away or heal up. You sat on the closed toilet as your skeletal friend started the water, trying to get the perfect temperature.

“Alright! y/n do you feel well enough to bathe yourself, or would you like me to… um, help you?” His face was flushed with magic, but you could swear there was something hopeful and mischievous in his eyes.

That feeling of vulnerability returned, and your own face flushed red. “I’m fine! I can bathe myself! Get out!” despite still being fully clothed, you wrapped your arms protectively around your torso as he scurried out. You waited a few seconds before undressing, peeling the clothes from your sweaty, sticky body. The act of bathing was refreshing, but less so the more you scrubbed and the murkier the water became. Plus, you had to try and keep your bullet wound out of the water, and when you used your left arm to scrub your right, it was painful. Eventually you felt like a person again and toweled yourself off as the water drained. And then you realized that you didn’t bring clean clothes in here with you. Its fine. Just wear the towel and get your things from Blue’s room. It’s just your friend. You’ve been nude around your gang plenty of times. You still didn’t quite feel convinced by what you told yourself, but you made your way to the room anyway, towel clutched around your damp form.

 

Stretch was panicking a small bit. Why had his brother brought you here? Why were you staying with them? Were you using Blue? Dammit. He had been chain smoking since Blue brought you to the bathroom, trying to wrap his mind around the situation. He had tried talking to Sans, but the other skeleton had just tasked him with watching, making sure you didn’t do anything suspicious. Sans didn’t understand! He didn’t see the way you attacked those humans. Even though you had technically rescued him, it seemed more of a whim than anything. You might not even remember who it was you had saved that night! And then just happily telling him to get out, that the danger had passed as if everything was fine… Sans didn’t see you calmly going over the bodies, as if they were just things. Didn’t see you take the cash out of the wallets and just walk away, ignoring the gasping and bleeding man. As if he wasn’t there. As if you hadn’t just attacked these humans. As if you didn’t care at all who lived or died. Did that mentality extend to monsters as well?

Did you care if they lived or died? Did you care if Blue lived or died?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! would you look at that. exploding motel rooms. how strange.
> 
> next chapter: they really had good intentions
> 
> want more Skeletons in your life? Wanna ask a character a question or some shit? come talk to me on tumblr!
> 
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> i love you guys.


	12. They Really Have Good intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at that! another fast update! its not because i want attention or anything.......... (yeh it is, so sue me)
> 
> disclaimer: i dont know shit about bullet wounds
> 
> SO, QUICK QUESTION:
> 
> i kind of have a lot of ideas for aus of my au here, showing fang and the guys in different scenarios. if i did little shorts and compiled them into some sort of 'what if' collection, would you guys wanna read that? if so, can you think of a clever name for it?
> 
> well, for now i might put them on my tumblr,   
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> come check it out if you wanna chat, ask characters questions, or learn more about the world of Homes After the Mountain!

Papyrus went in to the human police station the next morning, even though it was supposed to be his day off.

“Hey Paps!” His human exchange partner greets him. He’s a tall man by human standards, but not even close to Papyrus, with brown hair in a buzzcut. “Didn’t know you were coming in today?” He offered Papyrus a coffee, which the skeleton politely refused.

“I was hoping for any information we might have about the exploding motel room? A friend of mine was staying there.” Papyrus followed his human friend- James -to his desk area.

“Oh man, were they caught in the blast? Are they okay?”

“They are fine! Luckily, the great Papyrus was already driving them away at the time of the blast!” He posed, but soon drooped. “I was… very concerned.”

“I’m glad they’re alright.” James was pulling up some files on the computer, details of the event. “Looks like the blast hit about five rooms, but really destroyed these two.” he pointed to a picture. “It was placed somewhere along the walls between them. We think it has something to do with gang activity, maybe some sort of deal gone wrong? But we’re not sure.”

Papyrus knew about the gangs. The Morningstars were the most trouble; it was estimated that since they did the majority of drug and weapon sales in the city that they indirectly accounted for over fifty percent of crime in the city. The Kings were relatively new, and the most open about their affiliations. They ran a lot of human trafficking, slaves and prostitutes mostly, but the leaders were defended by their paychecks. The better cops were waiting for them to slip up, but just recently they had found a mole for the Kings in one of the precincts. It was highly suspected that there were plenty more. The third biggest were the Ushravas, or the White Horses. They mostly dealt in smuggling and money laundering, and kept their operation small, making it hard to pin them down. Further, it was thought that they were so ingrained with legitimate business that they easily manipulated the letter of the law whenever offenses were brought against their people. They were small, but slippery. There had been a raid at one of their known warehouses recently, but the police had only managed to hold one person who refused to talk. They would have to let their only lead out soon.

“Which gangs do we suspect and why?” Papyrus asked.

“Well, we really need to do some more investigating, but right off the bat it looks suspicious because this room-” he pointed to the one right next to where you had stayed, “is where the bomb is thought to have been planted. The occupant had rented it only for that one day, and under a false name. No body was found in the room. And the one next door-” Papyrus’s breath hitched as his friend pointed to your room, “had been rented for a few days, also under a false name. We think that the actual target was in this room, but no body was found there either. And from what we could gather, there weren’t really any personal effects there, so they had just moved out.”

“THAT’S WHERE MY FRIEND WAS STAYING!” There were glares from all over the office as Papyrus shouted, and he quickly fixed his voice. Sometimes it was too easy to slip back to his natural volume. “That’s where my friend was staying! We had actually just moved her out, insisting she stay somewhere safer!”

James was ecstatic. “Buddy, you may have saved her life! Could you bring her in some time? We could really use another witness, and any extra information would be amazing.”

“Absolutely! I will bring her by as soon as possible!”

“You’re the best, Paps.”

Papyrus practically skipped out of the station. He had information, and he could bring you to the police so they could find the people who wanted to hurt you! He was so excited that he walked straight into the Swap district and to Stretch and Blue’s house. He burst through the front door to find Stretch holding you by the shirt against a wall.

 

You had been groggy in the morning. Blue had apparently slept with you in his bed, and woke you at some ungodly hour when he got up for work. You mumbled something in between ‘goodbye’ and ‘thanks’ as he left the room. Sleep came again almost immediately.

When you got up again, it was from pain. It hurt so. Freaking. Bad. you forced yourself to acknowledge, again, that there was a hole in your arm. It was a strange thought. It was also almost unbearably itchy; if you weren’t so exhausted and sore still, you don’t think you’d be able to resist scratching. Clean bandages were retrieved from your bag, and you went into the bathroom to try and change them. It wasn’t bleeding, but it was oozing clear liquid. You couldn’t find the washcloth that you used the night before, so you tried dabbing at your wound with toilet paper. Instead of helping you clean up the wound, it just fell apart and left bits of fiber sticking to your skin. There were three options here: just redress the wound anyway, try to clean it with some of your clothes or something, or look for Stretch and ask about washcloths. You sighed and searched the bathroom again. Asking for forgiveness was easier than asking for permission, so even if it was one of their washcloths it should be fine right? When you finally found them under the sink, behind a bunch of bones, you were relieved. The wound was still oozing, and it was pretty gross. Probably would have been way worse before the discovery of monster food. Magic was damn convenient. While you were struggling to put new bandages on, Stretch appeared in the open doorway. You froze. He didn’t look happy.

“so, blue didn’t sleep on the couch last night, did he.” he leaned on the doorframe.

“Nah, we shared.” you refused to be intimidated by the skeleton this early in the morning. Or at least, you refused to show it.

“what, exactly, made you think it was okay to sleep next to my brother, human?” his eye sockets are devoid of all light, and he somehow looks actually dead. Not like skeleton dead, but like skeleton-monster dead.

You cannot show how spooked you are. “I fell asleep there, since he offered, and i guess he got in later.” you shrugged, but winced at your pain spike. “Hey, um, you have any painkillers?”

“doubt it. did you touch my brother?”

“What? What, you mean like, sexually? Dude! No! I just slept.” your hand slipped and the bandage shifted out of place. The fact that there was a literal hole in your arm was still hidden, but you came to the unwelcome conclusion that you would have to ask for help. “Can you, um.” why was this so hard? It didn’t matter who did your bandages, as long as you didn’t fuck it up too badly. “I’m kinda… having trouble getting these bandages tight enough. Can i get some help?”

Stretch stared at the patch of gauze on your arm. What stupid human thing had you done to need that? Maybe you got hurt in a fight. He wanted to say no. he didn’t like you. But seeing you struggle… “fine. lemme do it.” Unfortunately, he saw the wound as he was rearranging the bandage and froze. “you, um, have a hole in your arm?”

“Yup.”

“was that there before?”

“Nope.”

“... okay.” he shook as he wrapped it up. “thats, uh, not supposed to be there, is it?”

“Amazing. Did you major in human studies?”

He rolled his eye lights. “... does it hurt?”

“Excruciating.”

“I think we have some painkillers somewhere from Chara’s visits.” 

He left you in the bathroom, and you went back to Blue’s room to finish changing. These clothes were probably clean? As you tried to seperate the clean and dirty clothes in the bags Papyrus had packed, you found your tools. Your weapons. The ones you had kept semi-hidden in the motel. After digging around, you even found the ones you used that night, still wrapped in the bloody clothes. Shit. shit. How much did Papyrus know? How much did he suspect? He seemed pretty oblivious, so maybe it would be fine but… shit. You needed to get this stuff cleaned. You could do it under the guise of taking a shower. You wrapped the dirty items in a cheap plastic bag and snuck out of the room. Unfortunately, Stretch was there with pills and a glass of water.

“I’m gonna take a shower!” You said unnecessarily loudly.

“uh. okay. i brought you medicine?” he’s a lot less spooky and a lot more nervous looking now. You thank him and take the meds before continuing to the bathroom. “wait.” 

“Uh, yeah?” you squeak. You do not like hiding incriminating evidence from a relative stranger, in said stranger’s house, when stranger does not appear to like you. Please, please let this be over so you can just wash away all this blood.

“should you really shower when you just changed your bandages?” His eyes were narrowed.

“Y-yeah, i’ll just keep my arm out of the water. Gotta get the rest of me clean.”

“Wouldn’t a bath be better for that?”

“Honestly, yes. But i don’t want a bath. I want a shower.” 

Stretch stared a beat longer, before shrugging and returning to his room. You sighed with relief and took your shower. Cleaning the weapons was easy; the clothes not so much. A lot came out, but some of it had already dried and stained. They were your work clothes, so it was fine. Could still use them, even, if you ignored the bullet hole. A new problem arose. You couldn’t hang them out to dry. Instead, you folded them into a towel and decided to deal with it later. You hid the towel for good measure before going downstairs in search of food. Stretch was reading on the couch, but he didn’t feel as hostile as before.

“What can i grab for breakfast?” you’re already looking around the fridge and cabinets even before he answers. If this bothers him, he doesn’t show. Maybe you can be friends after all?

“I think we have cereal? we definitely have eggs.”

“Ugh. eggs are too much work.” He chuckles and you turn around, a smug smile growing on your face. “Oooh, so you aren’t grumpy all the time.”

“I’m not grumpy.”

“You’re totally grumpy every time I come over. You obviously hate me for some reason that I don’t understand.” you pour yourself some cereal and milk. “Is it because I’m human?”

“sorta.”

You plop down on the couch, ignoring the perfectly good dining table. “They’re not all that bad you know,” you say as you munch.

“you say that like you’re not one of them.”

You aren’t. You may be human, but you know full well you’re not one of the good ones. You hurt people. You kill people. And you don’t really feel remorse about it. You’re pretty sure most of the people you kill are as bad as you, but who are you to say that? You’re not some all-seeing judge. But you’ve made your peace with your deeds, for the most part.

“I wish I wasn’t human. It’d be way cooler to be, like, a wolf monster.”

“i think you’re dangerous.”

“Everyone has the potential to be dangerous.”

“i know you’re dangerous.”

You pause, weighing your words. “...and?”

“And i don’t want to see my brother hurt. But you, not only could you hurt him physically, but emotionally. How did he get so attached to you so fast?”

“Maybe I cast a magic friendship spell on him.”

Wrong answer. Suddenly, you were falling. But, to the side? You were incredibly confused as you slammed (down?) against the wall. Stretch’s right eye glowed with an orange flame as he put his face inches from yours, practically hissing out: “d i d y o u u s e m a g e m a g i c o n m y b r o t h e r ?”

And then the door slammed open, revealing a very confused Papyrus. Stretch drops you and you fall to the floor in a very normal manner. You are incredibly disoriented.

“UM, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Papyrus is also disoriented. And loud.

“I think i made a bad joke, Papyrus,” you answer. You’re not really sure how, or what was offensive, but it was definitely something about using magic? Stretch seemed to relax when you said it was a joke.

“ah, sorry. mages trapped us all underground, but now there’s not supposed to be any left, so it would really freak monsters out if humans could do magic.” that made sense. You were still on the floor. So was your cereal. That was disappointing.

“Well! Then everything is fine now! But I need to take y/n somewhere!” Papyrus walked over, picked you up, and dashed out the door. “Until next time, Stretch! Nyeh heh heh!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh stretch, you just really need to... idk bro, calm down. go smoke some dog treats. not everyone is out to get you.
> 
> next chapter: learning about amalgamates? check. learning more about our gang family? check. visiting a police station?!?!?!?!
> 
> SO, QUICK QUESTION:
> 
> i kind of have a lot of ideas for aus of my au here, showing fang and the guys in different scenarios. if i did little shorts and compiled them into some sort of 'what if' collection, would you guys wanna read that? if so, can you think of a clever name for it?
> 
> well, for now i might put them on my tumblr,   
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> come check it out if you wanna chat, ask characters questions, or learn more about the world of Homes After the Mountain!


	13. A Whole Chapter Goes by Where No One Tries to Hurt You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, i know, no one's trying to kill us? unbelievable.
> 
> get ready for a bunch of updates happening fast, as my beta reader really did it and got a lot done. the updates will get slower as we get into the twenties.
> 
> get lonely when you dont hear from me? come to my tumblr, where i talk to myself about how much i enjoy writing this!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Papyrus was jogging down the sidewalk with you under his arm, pleased as punch. The pain had gone down with the medication, but it still hurt as every step Papyrus took jostled your arm.

 

“Um, Papyrus, can you put me down?” You asked, craning your neck to look at him. He apologized and placed you on your feet, gently. You stopped to see where you were, before walking beside him as he continued. You were almost in the more human district. The line between the areas wasn’t as obvious here as it was in the Fell district. There was definitely a lot of human/monster interaction in the area, and not all of it was bad. “Where are we going?”

 

“To the police station!” your tall friend said cheerily.

 

Nope. nope nope nope. “Whoa, whoa, no. i’m not going in. let’s talk about this.” you stopped and crossed your arms. However, that uncomfortably pulled at your wound, so you quickly uncrossed them.

 

“But y/n, we have to tell the police about your motel room! That way we can find the culprits and bring them to justice!” Papyrus posed dramatically. “... And that way, you won’t get hurt again. Blue told me about the wound in your arm. Did someone do that to you?”

 

“I’m taking care of it. I don’t really… like the police.” it was an honest enough answer, if a vague one. What were you supposed to say? ‘I have several reasons to avoid the police, including the fact that i may have recently killed someone’? At least he didn’t seem to suspect anything. “How about we go play video games instead? I still haven’t seen your house. How far have you gotten in Professor Layton?”

 

Papyrus huffed, but he saw the desperation deep in your eyes. “I suppose we i can show you where Sans and I live,” he conceded, “but i have not given up on reporting any leads to the police! It is my civic duty, after all! Nyeh heh heh!”

 

Papyrus’s home was a bit nicer than Blue’s. There were still tell-tale signs of shoddy craftsmanship, but the space itself was much larger, and more brightly colored. It felt a little more like a home. You flinched at a crashing noise from the second floor residents, but Papyrus quickly reassured you it was just ‘bunny child shenanigans’. You listened carefully and heard laughter and shrieks of amusement rather than… something else, and felt reassured. A small smile might even have made an appearance.

 

Sans was still at work, so the two of you had a brief debate on which games to play, settling on watching Papyrus progress in the Layton series. It had absolutely nothing to do with your annoying physical exhaustion, and everything to do with wanting to vicariously re-live the joy of the game through someone’s eyes. Your skeletal companion would often bring up the cleverness of certain puzzles, or the techniques used to accurately solve them rather than blindly fumbling upon the answer. Much of it went over your head, but it was fun just listening to his excitement. During a lull, he brought up the roommate matter.

 

“Do you think we could rent, or maybe even buy, a big house?” he asked.

 

You thought about it. “Dunno about buying a place, but if you guys want to do that i’ll probably end up paying you rent. But if everyone is serious, and theres gonna be five of us, a house might be nice.”

 

“I hope we can find a really nice one! Maybe we can even try and live among humans, and lower the barrier between species…” Papyrus appeared deep in thought. “I… worry that it’s like this even after so long.”

 

But here, you smiled. “We can live anywhere you guys like, Papyrus. Because i’m… human, I don’t think anyone will refuse us.” if they dared, you could ask Boss to send a messenger and get the point across. “And no one will be mean to you guys when I’m around!” Or you’d beat the shit out of them.

 

“You really think we can do it? We’ve been working so hard with Frisk since we got here…”

 

“I think we can really make a difference.” You smiled. It felt… good. It felt really good, thinking you could be a part of curbing the rampant racism in the city. You may not be a truly decent person, but you could still do good things. Maybe even the right thing, sometimes.

 

Papyrus suddenly tackled you in a big hug. “YOU ARE TRULY A WONDERFUL FRIEND! I AM SO GLAD WE GOT TO MEET YOU AND PLAY GAMES AND WATCH MOVIES AND WE WILL LIVE TOGETHER AND PRACTICE FRIENDSHIP RITUALS EVERYDAY EVEN IF WE DON’T GO TO THE EMBASSY AND IT WILL BE WONDERFUL!”

 

“Ha, yeah, that’d be fun!” the games continued for a little longer, with a break for lunch (leftover pasta), before you asked quietly, “... do you know Reaper Bird?”

 

“A-ah, th-that name doesn’t appear to ring any bells! No bells are rung!” Papyrus appeared to be sweating.

 

“Well, you certainly wouldn’t win a no-bell prize for a lie like that. How come you and Blue get so nervous when I ask about him? He’s one of my friends, and he’s gone missing. I’ve checked in with two of his families and they haven’t seen him either.”

 

He had groaned at your pun, but now seemed to be seriously contemplating how to answer you. “... they are on a list of missing monsters,” he said carefully.

 

You threw your head back and stared at the ceiling. “Monsters on that list usually aren’t missing, though. Right?” Papyrus looked about to say something, but then shut his mouth. He reached out a hand to comfort you, presumably. But you shot up and started pacing. “Reap was my best friend! For all i know, he’s dusted because i didn’t walk him home that one night at grillbys!”

 

“They- they may not be gone?” Papyrus offered.

 

“I know what it means when a monster’s gone long enough to be declared missing, Papyrus,” you solemnly replied. Don’t cry. Not now. Turn the fear into anger. Anger can be used. 

 

“B-but… Reaper Bird…” Papyrus was fighting some sort of internal war, and the conflicting emotions clearly expressed themselves on his skull. How was a skeleton so expressive? Especially when his face seemed more like a human skeleton than Sans’ more cartoon version of a skull. “ReaperBirdisanAmalgamatesotheycan’tdust!” he burst out.

 

“What? Didn’t really catch all that?”

 

He took a deep breath, and repeated himself without meeting your eyes. “Reap, as you call… him?” you nodded, he had actually changed pronouns in just the past couple months. “He is an Amalgamate. A… special type of monster that doesn’t… really… lose HP? So they can’t be dusted.”

 

That didn’t make any sense. Papyrus preferred your baffled expression to the one you had just worn before, something between being near tears and… some sort of face he couldn’t quite place. But a face that felt intimately familiar. You, meanwhile were thinking. But it didn’t make any sense! There wasn’t anything that couldn’t be killed. And monsters could be killed with merely the intent to do so. It was ridiculous to think that such a vulnerability could be completely surpassed. You said as much out loud.

 

“Well, from what I understand, they are simply special! So we’ll find your friend. You don’t need to worry!”

 

You let a genuine smile grace your features. “Thanks Papyrus. But you know what that means?”

 

“What does it mean?”

 

“We need to go clue hunting!” you struck a dramatic pose.

 

“Not until after dinner! I should get started cooking immediately. In fact, Sans should be home soon.”

 

“Oh shoot, what time is it?” The meeting was tonight! Also, something about Sans still made you uncomfortable. Like he could see right through you. You jumped up and reached for your phone to check the time, but you… didn’t… have it. You didn’t have anything. You hadn’t gone back to Blue and Stretch’s house since Papyrus sort of kidnapped you.

 

Papyrus informed you of the time, and you told him you had something to do, ignoring his puppy eyes and complaints of missing a wonderful friendship dinner. When it became clear you wouldn’t be swayed, he insisted on walking you back. The air felt fresh outside, and he made pleasant small talk on the way, but you were busy in your own thoughts. It had been so easy to forget that your royal guard friends worked with the human police. You would have to be extra careful around them, probably renting some sort of storage for your weapons to keep out of whatever place you rented with the skeletons. It would be so much easier to rent a place on your own, and yet… the thought of waking up to friends who wanted to eat with you, play games with you; you could stay in the living room without having to worry about a racist or rude roommate making you itchy enough to snap and do something you’d regret… you wanted to live with them. You wanted friends again. Even if they could never balance your moods like living with your sister had done, it wouldn’t be lonely. You’d have an outlet, a life outside of your less savory activities.

 

You hadn’t always been this tainted. You may not regret your actions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t miss the days when you had-

 

“Papyrus! y/n! Did you return for a friendship dinner?” Blue greeted you as you entered the house.

 

“I am merely making sure y/n returned safely. Unfortunately, i must cook dinner at home to make sure my lazy brother eats something healthy!” Papyrus shook his head, whether at his brother or laziness in general was unclear.

 

“And I have to go out. Previous appointment,” you explained as you located your phone and returned to Blue’s room to pack your bag for the meeting. The others stayed downstairs, and you could hear them talking about something, but you still glanced around as you packed to make sure they didn’t see what you were doing. Especially when you moved your mask. But no one disturbed you until you returned to the living room. You refused all offers to walk you to your destination, and finally made it out of the house alone.

  
  
  


It felt like ages since you had been here. Being a weeknight, only one card table and the slots were really doing business. Most of the people here were retired, old folks playing with their money since they figured it didn’t have anywhere better to go. A few young folks were out as well; trying their hand at gambling and the various mixed drinks available at the bar. Speaking of, it seemed some kids were giving Cheryl a tough time. Not that it was any of your business, but maybe if you stepped in you could keep these ignorant young men from enraging a sleeping dragon.

 

“Hey, gimme a chance. Look, here’s my-” you interrupted the young man with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey pal, you harassing our bartender?” you gave him an ice-cold smile.

 

Cheryl looked on with an almost bored expression, flipping her cherry-red curls behind her. “They were just ordering more drinks before going back to the card table, right boys?” they stuttered in agreement before leaving with their drinks, leaving Cheryl to turn to you. “You’re early, for once.”

 

You scoffed. “You make me sound like some lazy jerk. I’m usually on time.” she merely rolled her eyes. “Since there’s time, though, i’ve got a report if you want it.”

 

“Always.” she called someone else to watch the bar, and led you back through the ‘employees only’ door. The employee room was halfway taken up by lockers and benches, as well as a couple changing rooms. The other half held a vending machine, and a couple tables with some chairs where a couple employees sat and waved at the two women as they passed. Cheryl continued through the room to another door, swiping an entry card to unlock the door. You two walked through this new hall, passing up on a number of doors until you reached the conference room. Cheryl swiped her card again and you felt a pang of jealousy. It quickly passed as you entered a room that was empty, save for folded tables and mis-matched folded chairs along the wall. Cheryl grabbed a red lawn chair (complete with cupholder) and sat in it, waiting for you. It was almost comical, this gorgeous, well-dressed woman sitting in an old faded lawn chair.

 

“Ugh, Cherry, not even gonna help me set up a table?” You rolled your eyes and started unfolding one of the cheap plastic tables.

 

“Don’t see why I should. Pin’s choice.” she crossed her legs and pulled out a tablet, scrolling through documents until you had the table and another chair set up.

 

“I swear, if i get a pin i’m not giving up grunt work. I ain’t too good for that.” the other woman simply ignored you. “Anyway, I got info on the magic licenses.”

 

She leaned forward onto the table, setting up her tablet keyboard. “Lemme stop you there and tell you what we already know. I hate redundancy.” she typed in a few things before speaking again. “We know the owners of the three magic licenses are royal guardsmen who occasionally work with the police. The candidates were hand picked by the clan’s kings and queens, and approved by the human government. We know two of the licenses are owned by skeleton type monsters. We know the magic they use tends to directly affect the soul, rather than the body.” she looked up. “So what more have you to report?”

 

As to-the-point as ever. “The owners of the licenses are Papyrus the skeleton and Undyne the… fish… lady, both from Tale Clan, and Blue the skeleton from Swap. most of the time they stick with normal royal guard duties, but they join the human police for a couple days each month, and for special missions. So we don’t have to worry about them too much on the day to day, but they might show up more during raids and stings. But they can’t go undercover, since they’re too recognizable.” Cheryl seemed unsatisfied. “I’m also staying close to the skeletons, so i might be able to learn about when they’ll go on special missions. I can e-mail their schedules to you later.”

 

A sigh. “The magic, Fang, we need to know more about the magic. Especially if you don’t want us dusting.” there was an almost evil glint in her eye.

 

“Ugh, please tell me not everyone knows about me offering them protection.”

 

“I am THE information hub, Fang. what boss knows, i know. Barring special circumstances.”

 

“Guess i’m not special enough,” you mumbled in irritation. “I’m still working on the magic front. All i know is that Blue’s magic is blue, and seems to glow when he uses it, even naturally.”

 

“What do you mean, naturally?”

 

“Like, his eyes, and when he blushes, it’s blue and it glows.”

 

“Not enough Fang.”

 

You threw up your arms in resignation, but immediately regretted it as your wounds and tired muscles screamed out. “Jeez Cherry, it’s been like a week! And i got fuckin’ shot the other day.”

 

You heard the door open a stocky and muscular figure entered the room. “An’ then you got your damn motel blown up,” Anny said as he grabbed a chair and joined you at the table. He was followed by Boss and Jackie.

 

“Meeting on, Names off,” Boss commanded, and everyone present nodded. From now on, they would use codewords instead of anyone’s actual names for the duration of the meeting. “We all know someone took a swing at Fang at the motel. And apparently earlier she was shot. Why?”

 

“Got shot keeping the peace,” you explained. Boss nodded, understanding that meant you had broken up some kind of fight.

 

“And you almost got blown up because you killed some Kings when you were keeping peace,” Cherry supplied. All eyes were on her now. “You broke up a hit on a monster that some low-level Kings were doing together, and one of them got away to bring reinforcements. You were gone, but you had killed one of their people and another was near death. They tracked you back to the motel. It seems like it was planned much farther down the chain, but i think they were trying to send a message, that we shouldn’t mess with their business.”

 

“Always sticking your teeth where they don’t belong, huh Fang?” Jackie said, crossing his arms. His hair wasn’t glaringly artificial in its redness, and much messier than Cheryl’s. Both of their heads shone like spotlights in the light though; how did they ever get subtle missions done?

 

“Can it, Wolf,” you growled back.

 

“Well, if there aren’t any imminent attacks,” Boss spoke up at last, “then we’ll just deal with whoever planted the bomb and leave the kings alone after that.”

 

“C’mon, lemme get some people together and go tear up one of their fronts,” Wolf (Jackie) begged. “Teach ‘em not to mess with Ushravas.”

 

“Kid might have a point,” Anny jumped in, “Kings have been hanging around the rings in more numbers recently. More open in the streets too, even our areas.”

 

“Don’t worry Mugs,” Boss reassured him, “if they make one more move on us…” their glare could cut stone. “We’ll make it very clear that you don’t mess with us. Speaking of, Cherry, i want to double down on tracking the Kings’ movements. If they so much as raise a hand, i wanna make sure we can wreck them in a timely manner.”

 

“Happy to oblige, Boss,” she chirped.

 

“Fang, you want Wolf to loan you any guards? You’re still on info gathering.”

 

“Hell no,” you bit back. “I can watch my own back. I don’t need his puppies.”

 

“Pride before the fall,” Wolf piped up nonchalantly. You just rolled your eyes.

 

“Could still get you a nurse,” Mugs offered. “You still have a pretty bad wound. Eat any monster food today?”

 

“Been working on it, but it seems like re-growing that much muscle is a bit much to ask.”

 

“Pft, what muscle…” At Jackie’s offhand comment, you raised an eyebrow and peeled back your gauze, revealing the ugly cavern left behind. “Jeez Fang! Put that shit away!” you flexed instead, showing off your muscle. The pain was worth the sick look on Wolf’s face as Cherry helped you put the bandage back in place.

 

After a small amount of more informal information exchange regarding your actions and current living conditions, the meeting ended and everyone filed out of the room. In the employee room, however, you stopped Cheryl.

 

“Hey, think you could help me with a… personal project?” you asked. “One of my monster friends, Tale Clan’s Reaper Bird, went missing a while ago and i’m looking for clues.”

 

“Monster information is a tricky business. Might cost ya.”

 

“Then charge me.”

 

Cheryl grinned and nodded, and went back to the bar. You felt as if you had just made a deal with the devil, but merely sighed. It was late, already dark out, and you pulled on a light jacket at the slight chill. Best get back to Blue’s place. As you walked back, you felt your phone notify you of several texts missed while in the conference room. Most were from Blue or Papyrus about dinner, and one was an apology from Stretch, about the morning’s misunderstanding. But the last one was from an unknown number. When you opened it, it was garbled, like someone tried to use a font that your phone didn’t support, and was completely unreadable garbage. But since it was from an unknown number, you ignored it and continued home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we got to meet some more gang members! and learn a bit about amalgamates?! 
> 
> In the original game, it is true that you can't really hurt amalgamates, even if you try! except for one...
> 
> but anyway. theories? questions? wanna talk to characters? come talk to me on tumblr! i love making new friends!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> and hey. i love you. be good to yourself today.


	14. You Marry a Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome to one of my favorite chapters thus far. this is my love letter for all of you who have been house hunting in the suburbs, dragged along by your parents, significant other, or impending sense of adulthood.
> 
> if you can relate to this chapter, let me know at  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> you can also ask me or characters questions! please help distract me from real life adulthood.

Stretch felt pretty bad for attacking you the other day. However, you didn’t bring it up when you got home late, and you didn’t seem to mention it to Blue, for which he was grateful. Unfortunately, Blue insisted on going to bed with you again, saying that it was best someone was there in case you re-opened your injury. The next day, before you woke up, Blue had burst into Stretch’s room.

 

“PAPY! I had a great idea!” he proclaimed.

 

“‘sup bro?” Stretch lazily responded, sitting up on his mattress.

 

“First, i think your room needs to be cleaned. Second, you and the human y/n will go on a friendship and bonding adventure today!” he thrust forth a large three ring binder. The label on front read ‘friendship plans’, with little stars around the words.

 

“oh, will we? and why would i participate in this plan?”

 

“For one, because y/n has already agreed to it. Also, because the magnificent Blue made it, which means it is the best plan. Lastly, because I have already made the necessary appointments to visit several locations and talk with realtors. So hurry and get ready, your first appointment is in an hour.” he maneuvered across the room to shove the binder into his brother’s hands, before running out and leaving for work.

 

Opening the binder, Stretch looked over the plans his brother had made. There were a couple appointments with realtors, an open house, and a list of places they could visit at any time. All the best choices were labeled up front, with notes on which realtors to talk to about them, whether or not the neighborhoods had other monsters (for the options in human territory), and price ranges. It was really well done. How long had he been working on this?

 

“Yo.” You had appeared in his doorway. “You about ready to head out?”

 

He didn’t know why he was staring at you. Maybe it was because this was the first time he was actually going to spend time with you. Maybe because almost every other time he saw you, you were in pajamas, in a hurry, or looked like you were going to pass out. But now you were in front of him, in skin tight jeans, a nice shirt, a leather jacket, and sporting gloves. He remembered you had asked him a question.

 

“ah, yeah, gimme a sec.” he turned and threw on his orange hoodie. “ready.”

 

You rolled your eyes but went downstairs, the skeleton trailing after you. He paused, however, when you left the house and walked up to your motorcycle. You grabbed your helmet and held your spare out for him.

 

But he was sweating and slowly backing away. “uh, how about you go ahead and, um, i’ll meet you there?”

 

“No. i’m not going house hunting alone. Get on the bike.” He just stood there, eyes darting side to side, looking for a way out. Was he scared of riding? Well, now you _had_ to get him on the bike. You put on the helmet, hiding your evil grin. “Am I gonna have to tell Blue that you let poor injured y/n go talk to a million realtors all by her lonesome?”

 

He glared at you, but put the helmet on and carefully straddled the bike. “It’s safe for you to drive this with your injury, right?”

 

You didn’t see why not. But just to watch him squirm, instead you said, “you’re gonna have to hold on tight, Stretch.” you revved your engine in warning, and suddenly he had a death grip on your midsection.

 

You took off at the fastest speed you were comfortable with (see: very fast). Getting on the road, you wove between cars in a way that you might not have normally, but you were amused by the small shrieks and whimpers of your passenger. It felt good to get him back for scaring you the other day. Ebott city being the way it was, there wasn’t a huge amount of morning traffic, and with your expert driving you arrived rather early to the first realtor’s office. You parked your bike and took your helmet off, shaking out your hair. But you couldn’t disembark. Stretch had not yet loosened his hold.

 

“Hey buddy,” you said with amusement, “wanna let up there? We have an appointment to keep.” when he didn’t respond, you managed to turn and take his helmet off. His bones looked even whiter than usual, but he seemed to wake from his stupor.

 

“that. was. fast?” 

 

You snorted. “Maybe i overdid it. I’ll drive normally next time.”

 

“no. no next time. never again. i’m never riding with you again. i’ll walk home.”

 

He glared at you as you laughed, and the two of you walked into the building. It was a simple place, with plush seats to wait on, a receptionist who smiled artificially, and a number of offices where realtors did… whatever it was they did. Blog about houses? You informed the receptionist of your appointment and sat down, your skeletal companion idly flipping through magazines. The receptionist kept staring at him. She would look away whenever he turned her way, but as soon as his back was turned she was staring, her face a mixture of interest and disgust. You didn’t really notice. There were apps to be played. Finally the realtor came out. An older woman with blonde hair cut soccer-mom style that just… rubbed you the wrong way. She made you feel out of your element, but damn if you were gonna show that.

 

“Ms. Robins,” you greeted, holding you your hand and introducing yourself. “I was told you were going to show us a number of houses today?”

 

“Sure am!” she said cheerily, “the person on your phone was different though, your husband couldn’t join us today?”

 

You grin twitched. “Not husband. My friend.” Stretch had come up behind you, and his presence seemed to make the woman uncomfortable. The receptionist was staring again. “This is his brother, Stretch. We’re gonna be roommates, along with some other friends.”

 

“O-oh.” her fake smile got wider and faker. “Well! Let’s get going! We’re going to look at a couple houses, and then go to an open house for the last one. But if you see another place in the neighborhood you want to look at, just speak up!”

 

You all got in her minivan and descended into suburbia hell.

 

You entered an area where the houses were, thankfully, not cookie cutter. Many had two or even three stories, although they all followed a similar pattern. The driver made idle chit chat. Stretch hadn’t said a word, just grinned at the realtor whenever she looked his way. The first house was one of the ones Blue had marked as a good back up; it had the necessary rooms to house everyone and even one that could be for a guest. But the kitchen was relatively small and so was the backyard. The second house was better, almost ideal except for the lack of storage space. While looking through the bathroom connected to the master, Stretch had wandered off and you were alone with the realtor.

 

“So,” she nervously asked, “Why are you moving in with monsters?” she looked disapproving. You rolled your eyes and ignored her. “They're not… threatening you or anything are they?”

 

“They’re my friends,” you snapped back. Racism got on your nerves, but insults to your friends infuriated you even more. “They’ve helped me out a lot.”

 

There were more moments of silence, which you took to enter the garage. Ms. Robins wouldn’t let it go, though. “You’re not… uh, with one of the monsters, are you?” her voice was unnaturally high.

 

You turned to face her, a wide smile stretched from ear to ear. “I’ll be moving in with four skeleton monsters,” you moved closer to her, and rested a hand on her arm. She flinched. “And i may or may not be _boning_ all of them.” you finished pleasantly.

 

You walked past her as she had frozen on the spot. You soon found Stretch in the pantry, where he had apparently been waiting to make a ‘skeleton in the closet’ joke. He got more talkative after that, occasionally throwing out puns. Besides curtly answering your questions, Robins hadn’t attempted to talk to you again until you go to the open house. This house was bigger than the others; one of the three story ones. Some of the rooms could be used for guest bedrooms, studies, or other uses. Stretch even perked up when he learned that a drake monster family lived down the street. It was expensive, though.

 

Inside was like a small party. Several realtors wandered with various clients, and even random families who had just seen the open house and popped in. the owners and their realtor were seated in the kitchen, chatting with potential buyers and offering everyone cookies. You were quick to grab one. There were so many families. Almost every other group had at least one parent and several children, running around or sticking to the adult’s heels. Tiny people always made you a bit uncomfortable. Whenever you made eye contact you just smiled and nodded as you would with an adult. Ms. Robins had directed you to the owners for any questions and had then vanished, presumably to talk to her realtor friends.

 

The chatter died as you and Stretch approached the group. “H-hello,” one of the owners greeted. “Uh, did you come to look at the house too?”

 

“sure did,” Stretch replied evenly. A couple of the humans drifted away when it was clear the skeleton would be sticking around. “so, uh, what’s the neighborhood like?”

 

“It’s nice enough. Lots of families or retirees. A monster family even lives down the street-” the owner was interrupted by his husband.

 

“Don’t say that too loud,” he hissed. The first man shot the second a disapproving glance. “There’s a neighborhood watch too. Real tight knit community. I was treasurer of the HOA before we learned about my job transfer.”

 

Stretch just grinned. “sounds like a pretty nice place.”

 

“Which of you are looking to buy the place?” the first man spoke up again, a hand affectionately rubbing the other’s shoulder in a calming fashion.

 

“both of us,” the skeleton responded before you did.

 

The second man spoke again, “I don’t think the neighborhood would be a good fit for the two of you-”

 

But stretch interrupted. “oh, not the two of us. five. my friend here and some relatives. we’ll all be living together.” his smile was challenging, and you briefly wondered how a skeleton conveyed a smile so distinctively. 

 

The man made a face of open disgust. While his husband attempted to calm him down, you pulled Stretch away, trying to find an empty room. Almost every human adult you passed gave judgemental looks as you searched, but they were everywhere. Finally you gave up and simply pulled him into a closet, ignoring his noises of protest and the stares of the humans around you.

 

“stars, kid, i was just telling them the truth. you ashamed to be seen with mon-”

 

“Shut it,” you snapped. He did. “We’re married now.”

 

“... excuse me?” he was now blushing orange, and in the darkness of the closet it lit up your sinister grin.

 

“These fucking middle class moms and proper business men and fake-smile realtors are killing me! They’re driving me up the wall! Like ‘oh, look at the girl in the leather jacket with the monster, what freaks’, shove it up your asshole, Brenda!” it was a walk in closet, so you could pace a tiny bit. You friend’s blush had died down a bit now. “It makes me wanna buy this place just as a big ‘fuck you’! But since it’s way too big and shit, you know what we’re doing instead?”

 

“Getting married, apparently?” Stretch said, humor back in his voice as he realized your plan.

 

“You bet your bony ass. You ready to be the most annoyingly lovey dovey interracial couple ever to grace suburbia?”

 

He didn’t exactly know what suburbia was, but stars, he was starting to get what Blue saw in you. He cracked an ominous smile that you could just make out in the low light of the closet. “hell yes. Should we mess up your hair so they think we were making out in here?”

 

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

 

The glares of offended housewives gave you life. You and Stretch held hands, draped arms around each other, and tried to one-up increasingly cringe-worthy pet names. When one father was being especially vocal to his children about the dangers of associating with monsters, you decided you had to kiss Stretch right on the cheekbone. It was amusing how embarrassed he got, if his bright orange blush was any indication. But he managed not to break character and didn’t complain, so you took that as permission to do so again when necessary.

 

His cheekbone had been surprisingly warm, and not exactly hard. You had even felt something of a tingle when your lips pressed against his bone, and it left you wondering what that was. You might have imagined it, it had been so small. Or maybe it was a common static shock.

 

You both continued the charade until a flustered Ms. Robins insisted she had other appointments and had to drive you back to her office. This was, however, only after you appeared to have chased off half of the people looking at the house. When you got back to the office you laughed together, true hearty laughs as you reminisce about the best faces made by the families, the woman who had shrieked at you for daring to hold hands in front of her children (which meant you had to kiss a skeleton), and the realtor who had begged you to leave while you feigned ignorance and politely kept asking him why as he tried not to say ‘because you’re with a monster’.

 

“Oh, oh, but the best one was when that group of kids asked if they could hold your hand too, and we went around collecting them like a conga line until their parents showed up!” you were bent over, thinking of the children who had been so excited to meet a monster.

 

“stars, i thought their parents were gonna fall down when they saw their kids touching a monster!” Stretch guffawed.

 

“I still can’t believe they were all siblings! Who has that many kids?!”

 

“even bunny families aren’t normally that big!”

 

“Okay, okay, we have to go to the next realtor, but i think we should stay married for today!”

 

He blushed but agreed, and didn’t even complain when he got on the motorcycle behind you. You kept up with the flirtations with the next realtor, who was less put off by it and mostly embarrassed at the notion of romance in general, but you managed to offend several homeowners, and the next rental company you went to, and even one of the monsters who was selling a place and didn’t approve of Stretch getting all romantic with a human. Having skipped lunch, you ended up picking up a pizza on the way home, and at Stretch’s suggestion you held an elaborate break-up scene while you waited for your pizza to finish, where you begged Stretch to forgive you for cheating on him with another monster. Everyone present was truly uncomfortable. When you got home and saw Blue, he seemed pleasantly surprised that the two of you were getting along, and you all ate pizza together until you had to go to bed, exhausted from the physical exertions of the day. You still didn’t have you stamina back, although it was close to a normal human’s now. You paused only to put some dirty laundry in the hamper that the brothers had insisted you make use of.

 

“You and the human seem to be getting along well now,” Blue noted with a hint of smugness after you had left. “I knew all you needed was to bond over real estate!”

 

“she’s not so bad after all,” Stretch admitted, and he meant it. Stars, he really meant it. You hadn’t tolerated their shitty racism, and had just gone along with that ridiculous prank all day, not even caring at how the other humans might treat you. “wasn’t so bad to be married to a human for a day,” he mumbled absently, touching his cheek where you had kissed him without even realizing what he was doing. When he did realize, however, he jerked his hand away and turned to look at his brother.

 

Blue’s eyelights were gone as he stared. “W h a t. Care to tell me what you did today, brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somebony's jealous~
> 
> i cannot describe my hatred for the suburbia house hunting experience, but this comes close, i guess. the rapid-fire updates aren't over yet, so look forward to a new one in a day or two! meanwhile!
> 
> come talk to me at:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> ask me questions! ask characters questions! ask god questions! do it!


	15. Blackmail: The First Step to Any Successful Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you go see some magic at the embassy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup, another one already! the updates start coming and they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming and they-
> 
> you know what else just keeps happening? my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> ask questions, draw a stick figure labeled skeleton for me to cry over, or just sit back and watch me talk to myself for hours. it'll be fun.

“Blue, I think it’s really immature of you to hide my bike keys.”

 

“Well I think it’s immature of you to be riding an already dangerous vehicle with such a serious arm injury. Your reflexes are not at their peak!”

 

“I think I can still drive a motorcycle.”

 

“Well I think you should eat your breakfast burritos!”

 

You sighed and took a bite of the excellently cooked breakfast food. After the day of looking at houses, you were exhausted and slept in the next day. But the exhaustion didn’t leave, and you had been sluggish and slow to respond for hours. After deciding you didn’t have the energy to make lunch, you had tried to go out to eat, but Blue had stopped you, saying you were unfit to drive in your current state. He was probably right, but you fought him on it anyway until he took the keys. In your tired body, you should still have been able to take your keys back from a normal person, but Blue was a member of the royal guard, and his dexterity might even exceed yours on one of your good days. The day after that you had felt much better, but now was two days after and he still haven’t given your keys back. Stretch thought it was amusing, of course.

 

“c’mon y/n, don’t let him _drive_ you crazy,” the tall skeleton punned.

 

“Stretch, please!” Blue chided.

 

“I think your outbursts just _fuel_ his punning,” you giggled.

 

“UGH! This is what I get for making you a delicious breakfast?!”

 

“Why are you still here anyway? Don’t you usually work mornings?” your burrito devoured, you began cleaning dishes, taking all of them to the kitchen before Blue could stop you. You didn’t feel like sitting around.

 

“Today is special magic training with license holders and applicants!”

 

Your head shot up. You could get information there. You could maybe even get Cherry off your back. “That sounds really cool. I wish I could see your magic…”

 

Stars appeared in his eyes as he joined you in the kitchen, cleaning up from making breakfast. “I could show you!”

 

“You think I could maybe… go with you and watch?”

 

“I don’t see why not.” he deflated a bit. It would’ve been more fun to give her a private demonstration… but he could always do that another time. Maybe even tonight, if she wanted to see more!

 

“Thanks Blue! I’m actually pretty excited to see magic!” You gave him a quick hug from behind.

 

“Th-there’s a price!” he squeaked out, remembering the things Stretch had described on your friendship adventure. He was… jealous. “To let you enter the embassy i need a… a k-kiss…” he covered his face in his hands, mortified. How could he just ask like that?! He had to take it back, say it was a joke-

 

“Okay.” you turned his head to you and placed a quick smooch on his forehead.

 

He froze. Then he took a step back. Then he dashed to the bedroom, screaming about getting ready to head out soon. That was… a more extreme reaction than you expected. You figured he had a crush on you, but still. Stretch chuckled as he pulled a bottle of honey down from the shelf and drank some. He had gotten much more comfortable around you since that day out.

 

“Little harlot, ain’t ya honey,” he joked, leaning against the counter.

 

“Might be,” you replied with a wink, “but what’s a girl to do surrounded by so many handsome skeletons?” you giggled as you finished with the dishes and went to try and get into Blue’s room to access your things.

 

Stretch didn’t like the way you made his soul thump. He had no business feeling that. … but it would be fine to just hang out with you more, right?

  
  
  


You still tensed up at the monster embassy. You weren’t sure what to expect. To be arrested by the royal guard as soon as they saw you? To be stopped by the monster at the help desk? You made it all the way to the training grounds before realizing you were being ridiculous. They were monsters. The human government hated to work with them. There’s no way the monster embassy would have any idea who you were, besides a friend of a royal guard.

 

The grounds were wide, with various exercise equipment in one corner, a large track, and some patches of grass. Some of the grass looked burned. You wondered if it was from magic. You were actually very excited, and hoped there would be some sparring; you hadn’t had the luxury of watching a real fight in months. You used to go by Anny’s places sometimes to watch, but more often than not you ended up participating instead. And watching a fight with magic had to be way cooler! Papyrus was already there, doing stretches. When he saw you, he rushed over and swung you around in a friendship hug.

 

“y/n! Not that i’m not delighted, but why are you here? Did you perhaps hear about how magnificent our training was and come to see for yourself?!” He had yet to set you down, but dangling the way you were wasn’t terribly uncomfortable.

 

“Actually, yes! Blue said the best of the best were gonna be practicing with magic today, and I really wanted to see!” your mind flashed back to the warehouse, when Blue had done something to trap your comrades. You wanted to know. Deep down, you also wondered if you could fight them, even with their magic. It would probably be fun. Dangerously so. You wondered if they had ever killed anyone.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS TALKING ABOUT?”

 

That voice…

 

“Good morning to you too, Edge!” Papyrus greeted whoever was behind you.

 

“HMPH. YOU ARE ALL TOO EARLY, AS USUAL.”

 

It couldn’t be… or, it could. Really, why were you surprised by anything at this point?

 

“AND WHAT IS THIS HUMAN DOING HERE? YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BRING PETS INTO THE EMBASSY.”

 

“This is our human friend, y/n!” Papyrus set you down to greet the newcomer. 

 

Sure enough, you turned to see the skeleton you had fought only days ago, when you first received your bullet wound. You mentally high fived yourself for wearing a baggy mid sleeved shirt that hid your bandages. You waved at this ‘Edge’, hesitant to speak. Your mask had to have muffled your voice somewhat, and there’s no way he could identify you with just that anyway, right?

 

“SO NOT EXACTLY A PET. BUT STILL, WHAT IS IT DOING HERE?” he scoffed at you, clearly unimpressed. He looked a bit different in the daylight. He wore some sort of dark armor that looked to be a sturdy cloth, contrasting the lighter color schemes of the other skeletons. You could clearly see his shark-like teeth, and the three scars over one eye socket. You wondered what they were from. “CAPTIVATED BY MY BEAUTY, HUMAN?”

 

Ah. you had been staring. “Just excited to meet new monsters!”

 

“AW, YEAH, PUNKS!” in a rush of wind, someone flew by you. Dazed, you spun to find a tall, blue, scaly… fishwoman. Her long red ponytail blew in the breeze, and an eyepatch covered her left eye. “IT’S MAGIC DAY!” soon after, an almost identical fish woman and a large yellow dragon-looking monster came from the same entrance. They all had eyepatches.

 

“Every day is magic day if you make the time to practice,” sneered the other fish woman.

 

“Heh! Even if my social life was bad enough for me to have that kind of free time, this is one of the few times we can all practice TOGETHER!”

 

“I don’t need to practice with you LOSERS! I could take all of you at once!”

 

“Not likely!” dragon lady(?) finally spoke up. Suddenly the three of them charged at each other in a storm of dust.

 

You coughed and turned to Papyrus. Blue had vanished in the dust. “Is there a safe place I can watch from?”

 

“Ah, yes!” he picked you up, a theme of his, and brought you to a set of bleachers to sit and watch from. He proceeded to break up the scuffle between the women, who all looked a lot less like they were actually angry at each other and more like they were having the time of their lives. You concluded this must be normal for them. “Ah, captains, this is y/n, a friend of Blue and I! She came to watch our training today!” 

 

You waved from your spot on the bleachers, and Papyrus introduced the first fish lady as Undyne, the dragon as Tsuki, and the last as Sahme. You caught Undyne looking at you with something between hope and regret, Tsuki looked amused, and Sahme tried to look indifferent but was definitely curious. Edge was staring at you too. You don’t know how long he had been doing so, but every time you glanced at him he was still staring. He finally broke his gaze when the group called him over to do warm ups. The pain in your arm was starting to be a bit much, so you took some pain medicine out of your bag and took some, and just watched them until the magic began. They started with long range target practice, bringing some practice dummies from a closet and each setting them up a certain distance away. 

 

The skeletons all lined up next to each other, and began throwing bones at the targets. With different motions, bones popped up out of the ground and slid quickly towards the target, or flew through the air. Sometimes the bones were blue or orange, but most were white. The captains were grouped together as well, and they began throwing spears and axes instead of bones in various patterns. Sometimes they would make a hand motion and cause the weapons to appear near the target, or sometimes they would form the weapon in their hands and throw it manually.

 

It was perfect. You could give Cherry whatever the fuck she wanted if they were going to display their abilities so clearly for you. You pushed your smirk down and began taking notes. They practiced at several distances while you tapped away at your phone, even taking the occasional picture. When they took a short break, Blue waved you down to come meet with them.

 

“Did you see me! I was super magnificent, right?” Blue immediately vied for your attention.

 

“You totally were. I didn’t know you could summon so many bones at once! I have a question though. How come the dummies don’t look all messed up?”

 

Papyrus chose to answer you. “We can make attacks that target magic, meaning the Soul, or attacks that target physical matter. We try to mostly practice with soul-targeted attacks so that we can re-use the training dummies!” oh, today was a goldmine of information.

 

“A lot of monsters have trouble switching between them, though, and some still can’t use physical attacks. That’s why we’re the best!” Blue puffed out his chest, waiting to be praised.

 

“That’s super cool. And you’re all skeletons or scales!”

 

“Skeletons or scales? The hell does that mean?” Sahme came up behind you and leaned her heavy weight on your shoulder. Your left shoulder. You yelped and jumped back, surprising her. “Yeesh, jumpy much?” she looked offended, so you quickly corrected her.

 

“No, no, i just… uh, hurt my arm the other day.”

 

You didn’t see Edge watching you. If you had, you might have stopped what happened next.

 

“Yeah, y/n seems to be getting into a lot of trouble recently! First she trips and gets this crazy wound,” Blue’s tone told you he still didn’t believe that, “and then her motel room blows up! So she’s staying with me now, for safety!”

 

“And I watch her when Blue can’t!” Papyrus joined in. “I keep telling her to go to the human police and tell them about the motel, and whatever caused all those injuries before she healed them with monster food.” you winced. They were getting into some pretty personal information.

 

“HOW INTERESTING. SHOW US YOUR BATTLE SCARS, HUMAN,” Edge crossed his arms as he walked up beside you. 

 

No. you couldn’t show Edge anything. But now all of them had gathered around you, eager to look. Maybe just showing them the bandage wouldn’t be too bad… you slowly lifted your sleeve, showing off your large bandage, one Blue had just changed this morning. But before you could even think to stop him, Edge pounced and ripped the bandage off, revealing your grisly wound for all the see.

 

“BADASS!” Undyne shouted. “You have a freakin’ hole in your arm!”

 

“So i’ve been told…” you mumbled, but your eyes met Edge’s. He smirked. He knew.

 

“Edge!” Papyrus lectured, “you can’t go around ripping off human’s bandages! They are there for a reason!”

 

“MY MISTAKE,” he replied smugly while Blue glared daggers at him. “SHALL I MAKE IT UP TO YOU BY RE-APPLYING YOUR BANDAGES?”

 

“I’ll do it,” Blue snapped. “I’ve been helping with that the past few days anyway, so I’m the best at it!” his snapping caught you off guard, but he gently guided you to the bleachers where you had spares. You had basically packed half the medical kit to take with you, just in case. You knew you had a tendency to re-open wounds. “I’m sorry Edge did that.” you glanced at Blue, who looked genuinely angry. “He can be such an arrogant, rude, JERK!”

 

“I can handle it,” you replied easily. “Actually, could you put some of that stuff on before you tape it up? It’s getting itchy again.”

 

He obliged, fishing out the requested ointment. “But you shouldn’t have to handle it! He should be nicer!” 

 

You didn’t really have an answer to that, and sat in silence while Blue worked. The lotion felt good as he gently rubbed it around your skin. It was a little like being pampered. You didn’t use to like it when your parents tried to pamper you, but maybe it was nice every once in a while. Maybe because you trusted Blue. you felt a pang of longing for your sister. She had used to patch up your wounds when you were younger. She even knew how to cover up your bruises with make-up. You were pulled from your memories as Blue finished up and they all began training again, at shorter distances. They used different attacks, but basically the same weapons. The dummies still took no damage. You looked for Edge; you would have to watch him especially carefully now that he knew who you were. Well, he might not know your gang affiliation, depending on how much attention he paid to such things. It was no secret the Ushravas wore masks, but you kept your organization small, so maybe he just thought you were some masked vigilante. Which wasn’t much better. But where was Edge?

 

“Looking for me?” you jumped as the skeleton in question appeared at your side, speaking far quieter than normal. “So, criminal, how do you know my fellow guardsmen?” he nodded towards the other skeletons. “Did you rescue them by attacking humans, too? Unlike me, they seem the types to be in need of rescuing.”

 

You didn’t look at him, and continued watching the others. You kept your voice low, not wanting to draw attention. “Met Blue at the store. He introduced me to Papyrus. You say anything, and I’ll dust you.”

 

He laughed at that, a sharp bark. “You truly think you have a chance with that wound?”

 

“I fought you with it when it was worse and held my own.”

 

“I was going easy on you. I can’t be thought of as a monster that kills humans instead of apprehending them. If there was a threat to my life, however…”

 

There was a moment of meaningful silence before you replied. “Well, guess our sparring date is off. I do need time to recover, after all. Are we enemies now?”

 

“TH-THERE WAS NO DATE!” you were glad the others were too distracted to hear his raised voice. “BUT WE ARE NOT ENEMIES. YOU WILL MERELY DO WHAT I SAY IN EXCHANGE FOR MY SILENCE.”

 

“I’ll consider it.”

 

“THIS IS A DEMAND, NOT AN OFFER!”

 

You cracked a smile. Your panic was long past, now that you had a minute to think. “Why would they believe you over me? You might make them suspicious, which is bad for me, but they really seem to like me. We’re even gonna all move in together. You think you can just tell them I’m a completely different person without any proof?”

 

He thought about this for a minute. “I DO HAVE PROOF.”

 

“Really? What?”

 

“YOU THINK ME FOOLISH ENOUGH TO JUST HAND IT OVER? NO.” his confident smile was back. “ALTHOUGH, I GUESS IT DOESN’T HURT TOO MUCH TO TELL YOU THAT I STILL HAVE THAT BULLET.”

 

Shit. “What kind of demands were you thinking of?”

 

“WE ARE STILL GOING TO SPAR WHEN YOU RETURN TO HEALTH… AND I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN AS YOUR ROOMMATE. WITH MY BROTHER, OR COURSE.”

 

You groaned. Did all skeletons come in pairs? “Can’t do that. Not unless you can get the others to agree. Blue, Papyrus, and i don’t know if you know Stretch and Sans?”

 

“WE’VE MET.” he replied tersely.

 

“If you can get them to agree, then fine. You can live with us and all that. But if you give me reason not to trust you, i won’t hesitate.”

 

“I WOULD EXPECT NO LESS FROM SUCH A COMPETENT FIGHTER!”

 

Everyone had stopped fighting, and Sahme was looking at the two of you now. “HEY! NERDS!” she yelled across the field, “ARE YOU GONNA SMOOOOOCH? EDGEY YOU GOT A CRUUUUUSH?!”

 

He bristled and blushed red. Huh. new color. “OF COURSE NOT YOU TINNED SARDINE! I’M LEARNING HUMAN WEAKNESSES!”

 

“BET I COULD HELP POINT OUT WHAT TO DO TO MAKE HER WEAK~!”

 

Papyrus and Blue practically ran over to shield you from Edge, insisting that you had been out in the sun so long, and it was time to go anyway, and they would take you out to lunch since you had bothered to come all this way to see them… with all the excuses, you were beginning to think they were jealous. You turned around to wink at Edge, but he just glared back, a hint of red on his cheekbones.

 

What exactly had you gotten into with these monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reader wont hesitate, bitch  
> edge isn't exactly under protection yet, but as long as he plays nice... he will be tolerated.
> 
> next chapter: red is an errand boi
> 
> come by my tumblr is you wanna learn more, ask questions, kill time, kill space, kill.....  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/


	16. Red Makes the Rounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red goes around talking to his fellow skeletons about joining your little housemate agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup, you're reading it right, we got another update. and this wont be the last you'll see of me!
> 
> hey, quick question? I was thinking about making a kofi account. starving (well, not so much since i learned about the miracle that is costco) artist, student debt, reeeaaaally wanna avoid living with my parents, expensive medicine, all that jazz. i know times are hard on all of us right now, but you think i should bother making one?
> 
> anyway, enjoy the story, i love reading and replying to your comments! ask questions, tell me your theories, and be sure to talk to me on tumblr! lets be friends!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

“ya wanna what now, boss?” Red was sweating. He hoped he had misheard.

“I WANT TO JOIN THE OTHER VERSIONS OF US IN LIVING WITH THEIR HUMAN. AND YOU ARE TO CONVINCE THEM TO LET US JOIN.” Edge crossed his arms and stared down at his brother, daring him to argue.

“uh, okay, but why?” living with the others doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world, besides Blue being an annoying brat and Sans’s tendency to get in everyone’s business. But a human? Wasn’t that the one Sans spoke of, that might be working against monsters? The one with the really high LV? There goes his ability to sleep at all.

“IS BECAUSE I SAID SO NOT ENOUGH?”

“‘course boss, i just… didn’t think you’d wanna live with a filthy human, ya know?”

“THIS HUMAN IS… DIFFERENT. SHE’S STRONG. SKILLED. DANGEROUS. I NEED HER.”

Red chuckled. “good for you, boss. Didn’t think ya had the hots for a human.”

Edge’s face lit up. “I-I! Y-YOU CAN’T! I NEED HER AS AN ALLY! AN ALLY! SHE WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLY USEFUL ALLY!”

“yeah, sure boss. i’ll go talk to the weaklings.” 

With that, he took a shortcut to Sans’s apartment. Might as well get the hardest one over with. He knocked on the door and was unsurprised when, after some yelling inside the house, Papyrus appeared and invited him inside.

“Red! What a pleasant surprise! Did you come over for dinner?”

“indeed i did, papyrus.” he could smell something absolutely delicious. “also came to talk to sans. He aroun’?”

“I just called him to dinner! Go ahead and sit at the table, and I will prepare you a plate!”

Red did just that, and waved when Sans appeared. “‘sup sans?”

“you know. the ceiling,” Sans shrugged. “so uh, what are you doing here?”

Papyrus appeared, placing heaping plates of tortellini in front of everyone. “I tried something new today, so please tell me if you like it!” as with every time he made a new dish, he waited anxiously for someone to take a bite.

Red obliged. “tastes amazing papyrus. I picked a good night to pop by.” he wasn’t even lying, Papyrus had certainly learned to cook in his time on the surface. Red always felt a little bittersweet towards the big guy. He was a real sweetheart, and so like his brother in many ways. But knowing that in a peaceful world, this is what they could’ve been, the happiness they could’ve had… “but anyway, boss wants in on your little roomie arrangement. sounds like he has a thing for your human or somethin’.”

There was a clatter as Papyrus dropped his drink, apologizing and going to get a new one. Sans sighed as he watched his brother go. “yeah, looks like paps and blue too. don’t know what she did, but…”

“... ya still think she has something to do with the missing…?”

“I don’t know anymore. It’s starting to look like she was actually friends with one, and is just looking for them. Doubt she’ll want to stay our ‘roommate’ for long, though.”

“so ya fine with me and boss comin’ along?”

Sans shrugged. “sure. it’ll make rent easier. be like old times.”

“heh. yeah. ‘scept with boss mellowed out.”

Papyrus returned, and apparently caught the tail end of the conversation. “You will be joining us in moving in with y/n?”

“long as it’s fine with blue and stretch.” Red grinned and shoved more pasta in his mouth. “guess i’ll roll around there next. thanks for the food paps, i’m stuffed.” he patted his stomach and took a shortcut out of the house.

Papyrus shook his head. “He needs to improve his table manners.”

 

When he knocked on Stretch’s door, Blue opened it to an apartment that certainly looked bigger than where Red and boss were staying. Blue was not as pleased to see him as Papyrus was.

“What are you doing here?” he huffed. “You’re interrupting movie night.”

“Every night is movie night!” came a voice whose owner Red couldn’t see. But it sounded familiar. Blue turned to smile at whoever it was.

“Yer bro home?” Red asked, and Stretch appeared behind Blue almost immediately.

“i’ll talk to him. you two watch your movie.” Stretch guided Red inside and to the kitchen as the other occupants settled back on the couch. He took a swig of honey and turned to his guest. “you gonna try and get me back to the lab too, now?”

“wha? nah. i’m here to talk about your human. boss took a fancy to ‘em and wants to move in with everyone now. ‘m basically goin’ around and makin’ sure yer chill with that.”

Stretch slammed the honey bottle down a little forcefully. “what if i’m not?”

Red was confused. He honestly didn’t think stretch would care. “why not?”

“... blue likes her.”

“ah, tryn’a keep competition away for your bro. Well lemme tell ya, whether we all live together like one happy family or not, he’s not gonna let go. think of it this way: you’ll get to keep an eye on what he does.”

“and what about you? you and your bro aren’t exactly known for your love of humans or your ability to interact with them. i’m not gonna let you harass the human.”

“damn, she must be something if everyone’s panties are in such a twist. that her on the couch?” he turned to go look, but stretch stopped him with a skeletal hand on his shoulder.

“fine. we’ll let you know about the places we’re looking at that’ll fit us all.”

Red smiled his predatory grin. Nice. he got it all done in one night. He turned as the human entered the kitchen.

“Hey Stretch, we got any more… cookies?” you stopped. Wasn’t this the skeleton from that bar that was being annoying? Were you gonna have to fight him or something?

It was the girl from the bar. The one he’d been looking for. That was the human everyone was interested in. did they know her stats? At least Sans did. Maybe that’s why he was the only one not showing any affection. “well, well, well, we meet again.”

“Looks like it. You gonna try and chase me out of here, too?” you crossed your arms, wincing at the pain it caused in your arm. At least it was dulled somewhat by the medicine you took.

Red looked at the bandage on your arm. He remembered boss’s story of that one night. Sure enough, with another look he could tell that your EXP had raised. He laughed, his smile stretching wider than ever. “stars sweetheart, you are something. name’s red. how ‘bout this, i’ll make it up to ya If you would consider goin’ on a date with me? I’ll get ya as many milkshakes as you like.”

You didn’t look at Stretch’s distressed face. You didn’t hear Blue’s shocked gasp. You didn’t know that somewhere in the multiverse, Edge felt a twinge of annoyance at his brother. You knew you liked free food. “I don’t even know you. But i like the sound of infinite milkshakes. If you get annoying i’ll leave so fast your head’ll spin.”

He just grinned, and handed his phone over. “that mean i get your number doll?” You hesitated, but inputted your number. “thanks. hope you don't mind if i share this with my bro, edge. Though i don’t see why you would, since it looks like we’re all gonna be roomies.” he winked and walked out the front door.

“Y/N, WHY DID YOU ACCEPT HIS DATE?!” Blue wailed, hugging you tight.

Whoops. Forgot about fallout. “Well, because i don’t know him, so i don’t really care about leading him on or whatever, and he offered free food?”

Stretch sighed. “Let’s just finish the movie. At least it means we can get rid of the housing options that are too small. might have to look for new options.”

You nodded and began shuffling back to the couch with Blue attached to you. But then you stopped and turned to Stretch. “Actually, I think I know the perfect place for all of us.” he raised a brow bone. “Remember the house where we got married?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue:
> 
> When Red came home, Edge was staring at something on his phone again. "got everyone on board, boss. watcha watchin'?"  
> "I AM RE-WATCHING HAPPSTATON'S LATEST BLOGGED ADVENTURE, WHERE HE FOLLOWED THE QUEEN ON HER DATE WITH THE KING OF SWAP CLAN."  
> "jeez, i still cant believe he got away with it. wonder if the queen will find it an get pissy."
> 
> read Embassy Exploits chapter 4 to learn about the date between Clan rulers!
> 
> learn tidbits, send me fanart (lol in my dreams), talk to characters, and more at my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: a visit to muffet's and a glimpse of your past?!


	17. Step Into My Cafe, Said the Spider to the Fang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You give Cherry what she wants.  
> You pay a visit to a spider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeeeeyyyyyyyyy guess what? a new chapter! a few more and the updates will slow down again, unfortunately.
> 
> if you get bored in the .00003 seconds between updates, come visit me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> and you might want to keep an eye on Embassy Exploits, because there's a chance it will have some effects on what happens to our dear skeletons...

You had typed up your report on the monster’s magic and sent it to Cherry. She was beyond pleased at your work, descriptions, pictures, and tactical tips. The only thing that bugged you was that you didn’t see anything like what Blue had used at the warehouse. You’d just have to keep watching. Meanwhile, Cherry claimed to have information on what happened to Reap the last time you saw him. She said she’d hand it over in exchange for a small job. You hadn’t opened the file. You weren’t sure what kind of job Cherry would have for you. Would you have to infiltrate some store and steal records? Would she ask you for more monster information where you’d have to ask your friends weird questions? Would you need to sleep with someone? Hopefully anything but the last one. Sex for work just felt… weird. Pleasure or romance is fine, but work… not your favorite job.

 

“What are you looking at?” you slammed your laptop shut as Blue peeked over your shoulder. He tilted his head confused. “Sorry, was it private?”

 

“Porn!” you shouted too loudly, and he blushed and turned away, stuttering. you were really starting to get tired of sharing a room with someone. Not to mention that when you woke up early this morning, before you feel back asleep you could clearly feel Blue wrapped around you, holding you close. Usually he got up before you, so you didn’t know if this was a regular thing, but maybe you shouldn’t be sharing a bed. Stretch had voiced his concerns about that before as well, now that you thought about it. Not that it had been uncomfortable, but… “Hey Blue, I think I should start sleeping on the couch.”

 

“What? Why? Did i do something to upset you?” how does a skeleton give puppy-eyes? Because he was definitely doing that.

 

“W-well, no, but i can’t keep sharing your bed. I’m feeling much better, not nearly as weak, and we’re gonna be moving soon anyway, so…” Those eyes… you knew he was an adult, but when he acted like that it was hard to tell him no.

 

“Why can’t we keep sharing?”

 

“It’s kind of… intimate?” was it not for monsters? Would you have to explain that humans usually only share with close family or lovers?

 

“You… don’t want to be intimate with me?” How were you supposed to answer that?! Your face felt hot and you just knew you were blushing like mad.

 

“I-! That’s, um, sort of a big thing to think about?!”

 

He pouted. “Would you rather share a bed with Red?”

 

“I don’t even know him, so definitely not!”

 

“Stretch then? Or Papyrus?”

 

That was a thought. “They’re my friends, so i wouldn’t mind. But not every night! That would be like… that’s something romantically involved people do.” Blue stared at you long and hard, and you felt something in that gaze. He was looking for something in your face. Why were you feeling embarrassed? That’s ridiculous! It’s not like you hadn’t slept with plenty of people, or shared beds with friends! But you couldn’t meet his gaze for long.

 

“y/n. What… what if we were roman-”

 

NOPE. noping the fuck out. “Sorry Blue I’m going out wow would you look at the time thanks for giving back my bike keys i’ll be home later bye!”

 

And you were out the door. On your bike. Gone. you gathered your thoughts as you drove through town, leaving Swap district. You knew Blue had a crush on you, so why did that make you so uncomfortable? Were you just not ready to turn him down? You turned into Tale district. You had been meaning to stop by here for a while now. You parked outside the little cafe, where monsters and humans alike wandered in and out. Tale district had more humans than the others, with it being around the longest. You had almost moved here, until you found a nicer place that happened to be in the human district. That was only a few weeks before the appearance of Fell clan. It certainly had been a change, moving to a new city with monsters, and then these new somewhat violent ones showing up and their district forming right next to you. Lisa had complained about it incessantly when she moved in a few months after. You shook your head to clear your thoughts of Lisa. that bitch had better not cross you again.

 

You stepped into the purple and black storefront, marveling at the black and white lace that seemed to drip everywhere. There was a bit of a line, but you didn’t mind, taking in the spider theme and the arachnids themselves in the corners of the store. You had meant to stop by Muffet’s ever since the deal with Madam Widow, when you had learned it existed. Finally reaching the front, you were greeted by the spider lady herself.

 

“Welcome to Muffet’s dearie, what can i get for you?” while she spoke, two of her purple arms worked the register, two were folded in front of her, and two were doing something under the counter.

 

“Hey Madam Widow, do you have any recommendations? It’s my first time here.” you smiled, wondering if she remembered you.

 

She blinked, and then let out a tinkling laugh. “Ahuhuhu. Widow is my business partner dearie. I’m Muffet. But i would recommend a classic spider donut and cider, as well as our new chocolate raspberry cake.”

 

“Oh. sorry.” well that was a bit embarrassing. “I’ll have those three things, then.” you paid and took the food to one of the tables in the corner, grateful you could find an empty place to sit.

 

It seemed that even though it was busy, most people took their food elsewhere to eat. You wondered if it was because of the spiders. You set the donut aside for later and munched at your cake. It melted in your mouth, and was definitely the best cake you had ever eaten. You stared at the spiders milling about on the ceiling and waved at them absently. You didn’t expect a couple to wave back. You smiled and a few of them even came down and walked on the table. Hesitantly, you held out a hand, and one crawled on. It wasn’t big enough that you could pet it but damn, you wanted to. As you used your other hand to continue eating, you wondered if any of the spiders recognized you from the warehouse.

 

 

 

_“Don’t squish it! It didn’t hurt anyone!” your sister stood in front of the little web in the corner of your room and stomped her little foot. Her light up sneakers went off._

 

_“It’s just a spider.” you rolled your eyes._

 

_“It’s my friend!”_

 

_“What’s the point of a spider friend!”_

 

_“I talk to her when you have weekend detention.”_

 

_That made you feel a little bad. When you went to weekend detention you left your sister alone. “Well, why not talk to Amanda instead? She’s at least only got two legs.”_

 

_“‘manda always wants to do something else. She never wants to sit around or cuddle.”_

 

_“gonna cuddle a spider?”_

 

_“maybe!” your sister really wasn't giving up on this._

 

_You smirked. “if you pick it up I won't squish it. If you're scared than that means it's dangerous.”_

 

_“mmm…” she really didn't want to, you could tell. But just when you thought you'd won, she knelt down. “if it bites me and I die, ‘manda gets all my toys!”_

 

_“that's not fair! I'm your twin!”_

 

_“is too fair!” she turned to the tiny web in the corner and slowly lowered her tiny, shaking hands. The spider stepped away, but with a surge of confidence, your sister scooped it up. It crawled around, but didn't bite. She giggled happily. “see! We're friends! It tickles!”_

 

_“whoa…” you could only stare. “me next! I wanna hold it too!”_

 

 

 

“Having fun, dearie?” a spider lady sat down across from you. Now this was madam widow. She looked sharper than the other woman, her skin darker and her hair longer. Her fangs might be bigger as well.

 

You smiled at the spiders that appeared to be inspecting the hair on your arm. “I am. These little guys came down to play!”

 

“Afufufu, I think they remember you from our last meeting.” Ah, so she did recognize you. “what are you doing in this part of town, dearie?” she wanted to know if you were here for business or pleasure. That's probably why she came to get you herself.

 

“Honestly, I'm running from my soon-to-be roommates. Do you know any of the skeleton brothers?”

 

“I have heard of them, but I am really only familiar with the ones from my clan, Fell. That Red is really a brute, but I respect his brother. Are one of the pairs going to be your roommates?”

 

“All of them.” she blinked. “I'm going to be rooming with all six. I'm still not sure how it happened. Blue likes me. And Red asked me on a date.”

 

She made a disgusted face. “Well, did you say yes? If he bothers you, you let me know and I'll see to it.”

 

You laughed. “Now, aren't I supposed to be the one protecting you? I only accepted because he's buying me at least three milk shakes.”

 

“Afufu, good with spiders and finances! Truly you are a human after my own soul.”

 

“Madam Widow, what do you know about amalgamates?”

 

She froze. “Well,” she looked a bit uncomfortable, “they’re a… goopy type of monster. Why? Where did you hear that phrase?”

 

“One of my friends, Reaper Bird of Tale Clan, is apparently an amalgamate. I haven’t seen or heard from him in over a week, so I’ve been trying to gather information.” You gently shooed the spiders off of your arm, letting them know that playtime was over. “Say, can you talk to all spiders, or just some?”

 

“All spiders dearie, although not all are loyal. I… can keep a lookout for your friend.”

 

“Thanks Widow, you’re amazing! Oh, sorry, Madam Widow.”

 

“You can call me Widow dearie. Only because the spiders like you. But I’d best get back to my partner in helping with the store. Do give me a call if you need anything, afufufu.” She scribbled her number on the back of a receipt and left you to finish your cider and cake.

 

 

 

You sat in Tale park. It felt like forever since you had been here. Maybe it had been. You pulled your phone out to look through your files. It was time to see what Cherry wanted you to do. … Oh. you had been worried, but this was an easy job. Just rough up some guy, had his apartment address and everything already. What had he done to piss Cherry off to send you…? Oh. he was stalking her girlfriend. His mistake. You were distracted by your phone alerting you to a new text. If was from an unknown number. Apparently the same one that sent you that garbled message before. It was the same, some sort of code error that didn’t really come through. You sent a message to the number, telling them that they probably had the wrong number.

 

When you would check again later, you would see that your message never sent. It would say the number did not exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more Widow for all you spider lovers! and a little backstory? now what could that mean~
> 
> if you want more backstory, on anyone, tell me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> should i bother making a ko-fi account? im thinking about setting one up for a little extra money, but idk if it'd just sit there and get ignored. the closer i get to my return to America tho, the more i'm considering it... life is going to be quadruple complicated when i get back. hahaha.......... i wish i could teleport.
> 
> next chapter: you guys ready to go on a fukin date?!


	18. Fight Fire With Ire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go on a date and get drunk. It severely lowers your inhibitions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU READY FOR A DATE WITH RED??!?!?!?!?!?!??! TOO FUKIN BAD HERE IT IS
> 
> 's adventure time. on a side note? who knew plane tickets were so expensive? (I did) I just bought my return ticket to America and damn. gonna miss Japan a ton, but gotta get back to my friends and family, i guess.
> 
> talk to me on the tumbl:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> help me pay for that plane ticket? i need to go home and theoretically graduate college:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks

Boss was the best parent you could ever ask for. Sans was going to talk to the owners of the house you all wanted to buy, and you had called Boss to make sure it would all go well. Boss had laughed at you using your connections to make sure you rented the place you wanted, but assured you that they would take care of it, no matter how much Jackie complained. But then you let it slip that you had a date.

 

“Oh? Whose pants are you getting into tonight? I thought you stopped your benefits with Anny.” Boss’s voice came from the other end of the line.

 

“I’m not having sex. I’m going on a date. With a new friend. Who is from Fell Clan.” you regretted it immediately.

 

“No shit? Who’s courting who? How long have you known this guy? What’s their gender? Are you serious about them!?” Boss could really be a mom to some of you. Just because they felt responsible, and were probably thirty years older than you, they often acted like this with their favorites. Especially the ones they picked up off the streets, like you.

 

“It’s just some guy. One of my future roommates. I’m not really interested in him, but he’s buying me milkshakes.” you didn’t mention that despite that, you had been going through your clothes again and again, looking for something that would be good for a date. You didn’t find much; most of your good clothes were with your furniture and stuff at Box’s house. This was your first date in a long time. Maybe- no. it couldn’t be your first real date, could it?! “I gotta go Boss.”

 

“Alright Fang, but you let me know how that date goes.” and you hung up.

 

Was this your first date? No. no no no, there was- well, that was at his house, but a date at a guy’s house watching movies counts, right? And you went to the bar with- well, you didn’t go together really, but you certainly left together… but that was a one night stand. Most… most of your ‘dates’ had just been sex. Shit, this felt like a major fucking revelation! This was your first proper date! Your nerves increased. But no matter how you looked at it, you had only two relatively nice shirts, and you were stuck with black leggings. You sighed and picked the black top. Maybe even do lipstick and mascara. You didn’t use makeup too often, but might as well do it tonight. The deep red, almost burgundy, went perfectly with your black ensemble. Jewelry? Why not. If you got itchy, you just had to remember to take it off beforehand. You spared a glance at your arm. It was now a simple bandage without pads of gauze necessary. It looked like it would be fine to leave off any bandages after another week. Still itched like hell.

 

Once you had your date clothes on, the swap brothers watched you nervously as you prepared for your date. They didn’t trust Red. would he try to force something? Trick you? Stretch had told Sans about the situation, but the other hadn’t seemed concerned. Stretch spun around as the door burst open, and Papyrus strode in.

 

“Hello friends! Blue has invited me over for friendly hanging out at the house! Nyeh heh heh!”

 

Finally ready, you came downstairs. “Hey Papyrus!” He swept you up in a hug of greeting. He didn’t put you down. “You guys are gonna hang out without me? Don’t watch any Gravity Falls without me!”

 

Papyrus turned you around in his arms, now holding you with your back to his chest. Your feet dangled a whole foot above the ground. “Of course we will not! Although, you could always stay and we can all continue watching together!”

 

“Sorry bro, I’ve got a date.”

 

“Nyeh! I am most definitely not your brother! Who is your d-date?”

 

“that’d be me.” Red appeared in the doorway that Papyrus had forgotten to close. The sun was starting to set, making the sky purple and red around him. “ready to go, sweetheart?”

 

“Not your sweetheart,” you replied easily. 

 

“ya haven’t given me your name yet.”

 

You grinned. “You haven’t earned it. Paps can you let me down?”

 

“Must I?”

 

You looked at Papyrus in confusion, but he reluctantly released you. As you walked to the door, you felt… a bit nervous. But you let that change into excitement. You didn’t care what he thought of you. So there was nothing to be nervous about. You were just going to have fun on someone else’s tab. Hands shoved in pockets, he led the way down the street. You grinned at him. “So, you promised milkshakes?”

  
  
  


You were back in Fell Clan’s Grillbys. Like before, the chatter got quieter when you walked in, and the monsters were staring at you. Red took you to the bar where the purple fire elemental scowled at you.

 

“...Red, why are you bringing pets into my bar?”

 

“ain’t a pet sparks. she’s my date.” Red didn’t seem at all concerned. “promised i’d buy her some milkshakes.”

 

You seated yourself next to Red and crossed your arms, leaning on the counter. “Can’t a girl come to a bar for the best milkshakes in town?”

 

“... order.”

 

“two of the usuals and a chocolate shake.”

 

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Ordering for me? Bold move.”

 

“what can i say, i’m a bold guy.” he shrugged and grinned, his gold tooth catching the light. You hadn’t really noticed it before, having paid minimum attention when he was being a bother. He was still wearing that black, fur lined jacket, basketball shorts, and a stained t-shirt. His red eye lights watched you look him over. “like somethin’ ya see, doll?”

 

“Nope.” he chuckled at your easy answer, but you saw him start to sweat as you kept staring. He bones were covered in little nicks and cracks and you noticed again how everyone from Fell just looked… sharper. His teeth and his fingers were dangerous looking points, and even his gaze almost felt like an attack. You locked eyes with him until he looked away. “So why’d you ask me on this little outing? I know I’m gorgeous, but I’m also a human.”

 

Before he could answer, Grillby returned with your food. “...Eat at a booth. Your human is driving customers away.” he set the plates down loudly.

 

“yeah, yeah. c’mon doll.” Red picked up the plates, but you didn’t move.

 

“I don’t take orders.” you said to Grillby.

 

His flames jumped a little higher, which you took as a sign of irritation. “...And I do not tolerate disrespect. You have your monster food, so out of sight with you.”

 

“I’ll consider it, if you ask nicely.” you eyes locked on the white pricks that served as his eyes.

 

The bar was completely silent. Red was really sweating now. In fact, you were too. The temperature seems to have significantly increased. “c’mon doll, your shake is meltin’.” he tugged at your sleeve, but you ignored him. You weren’t his human, as Grillby had said. And you take orders from no man or monster that disrespects you.

 

“...Human.” His voice crackled in warning.

 

Without even looking away from the elemental, you grabbed a fry from one of Red’s plates and dipped in in your melting shake before shoving it in your mouth. “You make good food. Do you make bad decisions?” you weren’t breaking eye contact.

 

And then, Grillby saw it in your eyes. He didn’t know what it was, exactly, but he saw it loud and clear. It was pain, it was bravery, it was recklessness and utter confidence. It was something primal, something dangerous. The temperature returned to normal, and he shot you a charming smile. “Please, enjoy one of the booths. I’ll personally make sure you are served.”

 

“Thanks hot stuff.” you shot a flirtatious wink before grabbing your milkshake and following Red to a booth. You didn’t see the look Grillby sent Red as you started eating your burger. It was just as delicious as the one from Tale clan, although you thought you could taste a subtle difference in the flavor of the meats. It wasn’t until you finished your burger and began dipping your fries in your milkshake that Red finally spoke again.

 

“why d’ ya do that?”

 

At first you thought he was asking about what had just happened with the bartender, but then you noticed he was staring at your fry. “Dipping them in-? Its a salty and sweet thing. Much better when it has contrasting hot and cold, but its addictive once you try it.” 

 

You drank the rest of the melted mess and put the empty glass at the end of the table so that it was visible from the bar. You made eye contact with Grillby and smiled sweetly. You had gained some sort of advantage somehow, might as well use it. When he came to take the empty glass, you ordered more fries and a vanilla shake.

 

“salty and sweet, hot and cold… you a fan of contradictions, doll?” Red dumped mustard all over his fries and you made a face. Seeing that, he raised a brow bone and unscrewed the top, taking a swig right from the bottle.

 

You had to compose yourself after that, and he delighted in leaving you speechless for once. “Uh, i guess. I’m more a fan of mixing things up. I like trying things that seem strange.”

 

His grin widened. “kinky.”

 

“You don’t know the half of it.” Grillby brought your order and you thanked him politely. To which he made some sort of dismissive noise.

 

Red laughed loudly. Stars you were something. “so, sweetheart, i earn your name yet?”

 

Well, he did treat you to good food. You dipped a new fry in the vanilla shake. “You earn it after you try something new.” 

 

You held out the fry for him to take, but to your surprise he leaned over and bit it right out of your hand, so close you could almost feel his teeth against your skin. “okay i admit that was better than i expected.” he licked his teeth with a glowing red tongue.

 

He paused when he saw your expression. You were blushing slightly, but you looked angry, for some reason. 

 

You stared him down. “Do anything like that again, and you’ll eat your own teeth.”

 

As Red watched you eat in silence, he shivered internally. He had no right being this frightened and aroused. Were you really that upset about him eating from your hand? His own food was finished, and he took another gulp of mustard. The door opened and a crowd of dogs swarmed in, barking and chatting loudly.

 

“Round for everyone on me!” one of the dogs called out. Everyone cheered in appreciation.

 

“What’s the occasion?”

 

“You didn’t hear?” The dog, who looked somewhat feminine, barked happily. “They passed the Free Monster bill! We can travel outside of the city! The border guards are packing up as we speak!”

 

There was another round of cheering, and you turned to Red. “What’s that about?”

 

“ya didn’t know? We’re not allowed to leave Ebott without special permission. Bullshit to keep us locked up, with a different barrier.” he snorted. “looks like they finally fixed it! Can finally go to the fuckin’ beach an’ shit. damn. Could go anywhere.” there was a far-away look in his eyes as Grillby passed around drinks. He even slammed one down in front of you with a malicious smile and a ‘drink up, human’. You hadn’t really realized before, the limits set on monsters. You sorta knew, in the back of your head, but you forgot what it meant. Most of them had never seen the beach. A theme park. Hell, Ebott didn’t have any zoos.

 

You took a sip of the drink that had been presented to you, noting Red had already drained half of his. It was rich and delicious, but stronger than you expected. You blinked in surprise. “What the hell is this?”

 

“ha! ‘S monster alcohol, doll. Think you can handle it?”

 

How could you back down from that?

  
  
  


Blue, Papyrus, and Stretch had managed to sneak in with the waves of monsters that entered the bar as everyone celebrated the new bill, and the possibilities that came with it. They hadn’t been able to hear you when they had lurked around outside, chaperoning your date, but inside had been too empty to be able to blend in with the crowd. But now it was getting closer to midnight, and plenty of others had come around to drink. With this many monsters they still couldn’t hear you well, but they did get a front row seat to your drunken shenanigans. You must have had a lot of alcohol; your face was tinted red and you couldn’t stop giggling.

 

“Red, it’s funny!”

 

“What’s funny sweetheart?” he was amused at your slurred speech and swaying. You weren’t even swaying out of a balance thing, it just felt nice to be in motion.

 

“Your name is red but you like mustard!”

 

“why’s that funny doll?”

 

“I’m not your doll. My name is y/n. I’m not your anything. Not even your friend. Wanna be friends?”

 

“sure, sweetheart.” he chuckled. “hey, so what do you think of my brother, huh? you’re the second human he’s ever shown any interest in.”

 

“Shit!”

 

“What?”

 

“I told you my name before you earned it!”

 

“Didn’t i ‘earn’ it with the milkshake fry?”

 

“No no no, you almost did, but then you made me feel weird. I almost punched you!”

 

“Oh really? Didn’t mean to startle ya, sweetheart.”

 

“Ya gotta earn it!” you slammed your elbow on the table (too hard, it actually hurt), and held out your right arm. “Wres’le.”

 

he looked at the outstretched hand and then at you. “arm wrestling?”

 

“Yellow belly. Get it? Cuz you drink mustard.” you giggled at your own joke.

 

“Didn’t say no.” he took your arm and, without warning, attempted to slam it down. But he only brought it halfway to the table before you caught yourself, a glint in your eye. His eye sockets widened. “wow sweetheart, impressive.” your arms slowly inched back to the middle, and Red began to look nervous. You felt him try and really put his weight behind it, but in a burst you did the same and slammed his hand down onto the table. He looked up at you with outright admiration.

 

“Ha. ya weak.” you smugly lifted your milkshake to finish it off. When you put it down, Red laughed.

 

“Got something on your face, doll,” he pointed to his nose. or, where a nose was on a normal person. You tried to reach for it with your tongue, but when you missed he reached out to wipe it off for you. You caught his wrist over the table.

 

“I could break your arm.” his eyelights vanished at your serious tone, but you released him and laughed, wiping your nose with your own hand and getting the whipped cream off.

 

The other skeletons couldn’t hear what was said, but they were impressed when you beat Red at arm wrestling.

 

“Nnnnn, I wanna arm wrestle y/n too!” Blue whined.

 

“No way she could beat you bro,” Stretch encouraged. But he kind of wanted to as well. He wasn’t physically strong, but he wanted to feel what it felt like to have your fingers wrapped around his again. The soft give of your flesh over your own hidden skeleton, warm and smooth and smiling at him as you both pulled pranks on racist humans, calling his name the way a lo-

 

“Stretch, are you alright?” Papyrus stared as the other skeleton snapped out of his daydreams, his orange blush deepening.

 

“ah, yeah…” they all froze when you grabbed Red’s wrist. What was going on? Had he tried to hurt you? They relaxed a bit when you laughed and let go, but they were still checking your face for signs of distress.

 

They didn’t notice that the distress was on the other party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh, someone gets intense when they drink. and Fellby better watch it! he's on thin ice with you; not a safe place for a fire elemental.  
> and monsters have more freedoms now? or does that mean there are far more restriction that you realised?
> 
> talk to Red on the tumbl:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> help me pay for my monthly meds that keep me out of my wheelchair. that is one shitty wheelchair, but these things happen when you shop on amazon and price low to high:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> next chapter: an emotional outpouring. but from who?!


	19. You Cry in a Park with Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You accidentally throw all your emotional baggage at Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm later posting this than I normally would because tonight (it's midnight for me right now) I just got back from a Japanese festival! yes, it was just like our animes, but with more litter. lots of yukata and food stalls (fukin delicious).
> 
> if you want to help me spend more time writing, or just allow me to try tamago no hashiyaki, consider buying me a coffee!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> if you want to ask me about japanese festivals, or what the skeletons would do there, come talk to me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

It had been a long time since you’d been this drunk. You staggered a bit, but Red caught you around the waist, keeping you on the sidewalk. You weren’t grateful. You could’ve caught yourself. You needed him to stop touching you. You needed to tell him not to touch you. You were dangerous. You had a looser control. You were drunk. You were itchy. You tried to slip out of his grasp, but he seemed to take it as you stumbling again and gently tightened his grip. You needed to tell him. You were going to hurt him. You needed to go to the park, but he was taking you back to the swap brother’s apartment.

 

“Reeeeed, gotta go to the paaaaark,” you managed to say. Why was speaking so hard? That monster alcohol must’ve been strong.

 

“dunno dollface, you look like you should get home and sleep.” he laughed. He didn’t know. He didn’t know how much danger he was in.

 

“Nooooooo… gotta paaaaaark…” you were going to hit him. He wasn’t doing what you said, he was trying to force you to go somewhere you didn’t want to go! No, no, he was a friend, and a friend’s friend, and probably a friend’s friend’s friend… you giggled. Was that even funny? Then you started crying because you could see the turn that would take you to the park, where it was safe, where you were safe, where he could leave you and then he would be safe…

 

“whoa, whoa! why ya cryin’?!” Red panicked a little. You had suddenly laughed and then started crying, which was a little disturbing. With another moan of the word ‘park’, he changed course. “okay, okay, we’re going to the park! calm down, 'kay?”

 

You calmed down a little. The park was good. The park was quiet and cold and empty and good. Everyone would be safe, as soon as you got to the park and Red stopped touching you. Everything would be fine. He brought you to a park bench and helped you sit down. As soon as he sat down next to you you got up and laid down on the dewey grass instead. He sighed and moved to stand over you.

 

“what are ya doin’, y/n?” he nudged you with the toe of a sneaker.

 

“I’m drunk and dangerous,” you mumbled.

 

“heh. sure kid.” he sat next to you. “why’d you wanna come to the park?”

 

“...safe.”

 

“from what?”

 

“From me.” it was a whisper; he almost didn’t hear it. “I can’t… i just can’t.”

 

“can’t what kid?” his voice was soft too now. He must have realized how delicate you were right now, because there was none of his smirk or sass in those words.

 

“I can’t not hurt people. I was gonna hurt you, cuz you were touching me. I tried to tell you not to, but i couldn’t. I need… i need.”

 

“sorry kid. didn’t realize i was making you uncomfortable.” Red was uncomfortable too. It was like a switch had been thrown once you got really drunk, you emotions were out of control and every time he looked at your soul it was sending out erratic signals. Something had fucked you up pretty bad. He could relate. “what do you need?”

 

“I need… to hurt someone. Anyone. I could hurt you. But i don’t want to.” he gave you a confused look. He wasn’t scared, no, not when you were this drunk. But that was certainly an odd thing to say. “I don’t… i don’t wanna hurt anyone!” you started crying again. “But i have to! It’s- it’s like an itch, but like- over- i have to hurt people!” you fumbled and pulled your phone out of your bag, trying and missing all the right buttons, and sobbing when you couldn’t do it.

 

Red gently took your phone. “ya need me to call someone for ya, sweetheart?” the way he said the pet name was different now, and you clung to that tone.

 

“I- I need Re- i need-” you took a deep breath, trying to calm the confusing mixture of feelings deep in your chest. “Byrd. call Byrd.”

 

He scrolled through your contacts. “there’s no ‘bird’ here-”

 

“With a Y.”

 

He dialed the number and handed you the phone. You held it to your ear as it rang. Finally, the sound of a female voice came through. “Sorry, i’m not here right now, but if you text me or leave a message, i’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a good day! I love you!” of course her answering message was stupid. She even forgot to say her name. Silly byrd. You hung up before it started recording the voicemail, but then hit the dial button again. “Sorry, i’m not-” ”Sorry-” “i love you” “i love you” “i love you!”

 

In the quiet of the park, Red could hear everything as you listened to the answering message over and over again. It seemed to be calming you down, but he didn’t know what to make of it. Now that he was sure you didn’t want to hurt him or his bro outside of confusing drunk ramblings, he kind of wanted to get to know you better. Who was this ‘Byrd’? Lover? Family? Someone you had cut out of your life? Whoever they were, they must be important. After a while he watched you put the phone away and just stare at the sky. He laid down next to you.

 

“you good, sweetheart?”

 

You could get addicted to people talking to you like that. With real care in their voices, without any sort of anger or fear or worry. “No.” You both sat in silence for a minute before you spoke again. “I met Reap here. About six months ago. I had just finished work, and some guy had been a real asshole to me the entire shift. I walked here so that i didn’t punch him. But when i got here, i was still angry. I wanted to hurt someone.” when he said nothing, you continued. “But then I saw Reap. he wasn’t like any monster i had seen before. All white and twitchy and sort of vibrating. And it was so weird i kind of forgot i was mad. He was sitting on a bench, and I sat next to him. Well, he was floating, really. I stared for a long time before he asked ‘are you going to pick on me?’. I told him no, and he just made some weird creaking noise. Like a tree about to fall. He didn’t say anything else, but for some reason being around him really calmed me down. I ended up telling him about my day, and he just listened, and we agreed to meet up later. And every time, he always just… radiated peace.”

 

“... sounds nice,” Red whispered. He wished there wasn’t so much light pollution here. He couldn’t really see the stars.

 

“Have you ever done something you knew you could never take back?” your emotions were under much better control now, but you wouldn’t have talked about this sober.

 

“yeah.”

 

His voice carried a weariness. “Something that changed you forever, for the worse, and you knew you could never go back?”

 

“... yeah.”

 

“... it stays with you forever. And when you think you’re past it, you do something worse. And you can’t stop, like you’re addicted to destroying yourself.”

 

“...”

 

“Can i hold you?”

 

“what?” he turned his skull to look at you, eyelights searching. But your eyes were honest, wistful, and sad. “yeah, sure.”

 

You scooted closer and draped your arms around him. He loosely wrapped his arms around you as well. You could feel them shaking, as if he were afraid you would suddenly turn on him. A reasonable fear, if he knew the things you were capable of. You laid your head on his shoulder, his jacket cusioning the hard bone beneath. You stayed that way for a few moments.

 

“You’re gonna be okay.” he shivered as your warm, wet breath hit his vertebrae. “You’re more than your mistakes. More than what you’ve done. You are beautiful, and loved, and tomorrow will be a day to move forward. You are not broken. You are not broken. You are loved.” you snuggled closer to him, and passed out.

  
  
  


Stretch hoped the knock on the door didn’t wake Blue. After their little surveillance mission, they had rushed to get home before you, and Blue had almost immediately fallen asleep. Stretch had decided to stay up and wait for you, just to make sure you came home safe. He was more than surprised to open the door and find you passed out on their doorstep. Why had Red left you here?! He carefully carried you to the couch, noting your peaceful breathing and lack of injuries. Maybe you had just passed out?

  
  
  


Red took a shortcut to his room immediately after dropping you off. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were wide. What had that been? Why had you said that? What were you talking about? Why was he crying?! Was he sad or happy?! He was so confused. He curled up on his old mattress and whimpered quietly until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that was... emotional. where do we even go from here? what changed the reader? what do they regret? who is byrd to them?
> 
> if you want to help me spend more time writing, or want to bribe me to learn the secrets of The Itch, consider buying me a coffee!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> if you want to ask me about emotions, skeletons, or anything else, come talk to me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: sans still doesnt trust you. i wonder why?
> 
> remember. you are more than your mistakes. you are everything you have learned from them, everything you hope to do and everything you try to be. you are worth so much more than your past. you are a bright and ever-changing future. you are loved. you are loved. you are loved.


	20. You Go On Missions and Sans Has Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for some violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, from here on out the updates are gonna be slower. we're getting close to catching you guys up to what i'm actually writing tho, since im working on the beta for ch 26 right now!  
> but man we've come so far! look at those kudos and hits! thanks so much for reading my little story! tho its over a hundred pages and will likely hit over 300 by the time i'm done.......  
> anyway! be sure to check out What If The Itch...? in your free time, a little work of one-shot and shorts about things that wont happen, but what if they did? if you buy me a coffee, i'll do one on whatever you want!
> 
> Buy me a coffee to buy my love at:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> just kidding i love you whether or not you can give me a few bucks, so if you need someone to talk to about your drunk and lonely ramblings, find me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Everything was too bright and loud, so you pulled the blankets further over your head. You could hear Blue and Stretch, so you must have gotten home with Red after getting drunk. You had severely underestimated monster alcohol. Oh no. you shot up into a sitting position, startling a skeleton on the other side of the couch. You had gotten all mushy. Called Byrd. said weird things to Red. Your phone wasn’t in your pocket.

 

“y/n? you okay?” Stretch leaned over the back of the couch and searched your face.

 

“Yeah. Need phone.” you rolled onto the floor, landing on your knees, and found your bag. Fishing out your cellular device, you groaned at what you had found. Five missed calls and plenty of worried text messages. But almost all from Allyn. Only one from your Byrd.

 

**Byrd: Are you alright?**

 

It felt cold. You sent a quick response to them and your brother, though, apologizing for making Byrd call him, and collapsed on the carpet.

 

“you drunk-text an ex or something?” Stretch said with some amusement.

 

You winced. “Something like that.”

 

“She’s awake?” Blue called from the kitchen. Ugh. Loud. He came out bearing a mug of something steaming and a banana. “I read this is good for humans who have had too much to drink!”

 

“Blue, I love you but,” you took the offered items, “what would be really great is quiet.” huh. Some kind of tea.

 

Stretch, seeing the blank shock on his brothers face, dragged him to the kitchen while you focused on the food.

 

“she meant it platonically, bro.”

 

This effectively brought Blue back to reality. “I-I knew that… i guess… a piece of me was just hoping.” he rubbed the back of his skull, a soft blue dusting his cheekbones.

 

“...me too bro.”

 

“It’s okay, i know you like her too, Papy.”

 

He turned to his brother. “wha- bro, I would never-”

 

“It’s okay. You’re my brother, and I love you more than anyone. Doesn’t mean I’ll hold back though! Mweh heh heh!” Blue posed dramatically with his hands on his hips.

 

A fond smile tugged its way onto Stretch’s face. Blue really was the coolest. They could just let you make a decision in time. He was distracted from his surge of brotherly love by the sound of the door slamming closed. You weren’t on the couch.

 

“... can she not stay in one place for five minutes…”

  
  
  


Sans looked over the paperwork again, trying to find something that didn’t fit, some trick. The house had been, for lack of a better word, perfect. It had more than the necessary number of bedrooms, and a spacious backyard that the more active brothers could use for training. There were all the necessary appliances; the old owners had even left a fancy refrigerator, claiming they recently bought a newer one. There was a garage for Papyrus’s car. Hell, there was even another monster family down the street. Them moving there would just be another step towards proper integration, something Papyrus had been ecstatic about. Blue had really found an amazing place in his house search. You and Stretch had confirmed it was just as good as it seemed. It was too good to be true. Sans was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and the longer it took, the more anxious he got.

 

Sans had known it couldn’t be this easy when he first called the realtor about the house. Even without knowing he was a monster, the realtor had been a real uppity ass, trying to play up the benefits of the place and the neighborhood and goad him into making an offer higher than the listed price. Sans had expertly dodged the tactic, used to people trying to up prices for monsters. He had set up a meeting with the owners, and made sure to do his research beforehand. He checked out the neighborhood, the usual prices for houses that size, the local regulations, and even the HOA. He went in knowing what prices would be fair, what prices would be used to discourage him from trying, and being prepared to be stonewalled for being a monster.

  
  
  


You threw your knife into the air and caught it. Repeating the action over and over again, you stared at the man before you through your mask. Cherry’s report said that this was a good time to catch him home alone, so you had decided to use this job to relieve your frustration at the events of the night before. When you had made yourself vulnerable. To a practical stranger. Ugh. but you certainly felt a little better now. Even if the man before you, shirtless and hanging by his wrists from the ceiling, had peed himself and left the room smelling foul. You were almost done. After this he’d stop bothering Dragon.

 

“So tell me,” you asked him, catching your knife out of the air again and pointing it at his belly, just below his navel, “what do you call people who follow girls home without their permission?”

 

“T-trash!” he whimpered.

  
  
  


Yesterday, however, when Sans had walked in to the meeting at the house itself, both the owners and the realtor had been polite. Practically falling over themselves to get him tea, make him comfortable, and begin the discussion. They hadn’t brought up his race. They hadn’t talked about anyone else looking at the house. Their first offer was actually the one listed on the neighborhood’s website. So Sans had pushed. Made jokes about monsters and magic, which they laughed nervously at, and asked questions about the house, all while looking over the documents they brought, trying to find the trick. He had even excused himself to use the restroom, something skeleton monsters didn’t need really, in order to do a quick search of the house and see what might be wrong with it, but he couldn’t find anything. No traps, no jokes, nothing. It was the most frustrating puzzle he’d ever bothered to try and solve. Well, almost. They had all the papers signed by the end of the day. He had even managed to talk the price down with almost no fight. Any time the realtor had tried to say something, the owners would politely interrupt and agree. But why? Stretch had even said they had been less than welcoming during the open house. The Fell brothers wouldn’t have threatened them, right? They weren’t that stupid. 

 

Had you done something? While his suspicions about your involvement with amalgamates had waned momentarily, you were certainly proving to be different from the average human. You had some mysterious injury that Papyrus didn’t like to talk about. You had basically moved in with the Swap brothers, and charmed both of them. How? And why were Edge and Red suddenly so interested in you? There were too many questions. The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t trust you half as far as he could throw you.

  
  
  


You observed your handiwork. In shallow cuts between his belly button and the tops of his pants, you had clearly carved the word ‘TRASH’. It was barely bleeding, but you knew it would be plenty visible for a while.

 

“Now, this little reminder of what you are should only stick around for a few weeks, maybe. But if i hear you haven’t learned your lesson…” you slammed the blade of your knife into his cheap wooden desk. “I’ll make sure it scars. Got that, trash?”

 

“Y-yes! I-i’ll stop! I’ll change!” he begged, eyes flitting between the knife in the table, your mask, and the other knives clipped to your belt in plain view.

 

“Good boy.” your work here was done, so you grabbed your knife to yank it out of the desk. It was stuck. “Oh, for…” all intimidation factor lost, you wrestled the knife until it popped out. You knocked over the desk, for good measure, and left the apartment.

  
  
  


Blue let Sans in and sat on the couch, bouncing in anticipation. “Well?! Did we get the house? Did anything important happen during the meeting? Is that fridge really staying there?”

 

For a minute, San was reminded of how Papyrus used to be when he was younger, and let out a chuckle as Stretch joined them. “yeah blue, we got the house. and the fridge, washer, dryer, garage, walls, roof…”

 

Blue groaned. “That's great though! You managed to talk them down to our budget?”

 

His face darkened again. “that's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. where's the human?”

 

“she went out almost as soon as she woke up. that is one active human.” Stretch chuckled softly. 

 

Sans’s grin tilted down. Was he the last skeleton you hadn't charmed? “did she do anything weird yesterday? was she here all day?”

 

“She was here all day, preparing for her date with Red,” Blue pouted. “Why?”

 

“well, when I called about the house the first time, they were playing pretty hard to get. talking up the neighborhood, highlighting how many people wanted to buy it, being a _real_ tor pain.” he winked and the smaller skeleton groaned. “and that was before they knew I was a monster. but when I went in the other day, they were falling over themselves trying to get me to buy the house. offering appliances and lowering the price. the realtor wasn't as on board, but the owners wouldn't let him do anything. weird, right?”

 

“Maybe they really like monsters?”

 

“nah,” Stretch shook his head. "one of them was civil, but the other was openly opposed to having a monster anywhere near him. real piece of work. but you think y/n has something to do with it?”

 

“who else?”

 

“Red and Edge?”

 

“but even edge isn’t stupid enough to go around threatening humans. That's another thing, they've been surprisingly passive this whole time, beside their initial demands to be included. Is there something going on between them and the human? red said his brother is interested in her, for some reason, and then the first time he meets her he asks her on a date? What’s so special about this human?”

 

“not everyone is out to get us, sans.” Stretch pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and popped it between his teeth. “she’s just a person. a person who made friends with a skeleton just because he invited her over for dinner. a human who got so annoyed by racist assholes that she pretended to be married to a monster just to make them uncomfortable.”

 

“a person who, by you account, has an incredibly high-”

 

“we all have a past, sans,” Stretch interrupted. There was no reason for Blue to know. “we all have a past, and i think the present is more important.”

 

Blue merely observed as their bickering and meaningful staring contests began to exclude him. It gave him a chance to learn. His brother always kept secrets; it seemed to be what all the judges did. Sans and Red were the same. And they all had this ridiculous notion that they clung to like a lifeline: that their brothers were as ignorant as they wanted them to be. Stretch almost never let out extra information to Blue, always watching his words. But it was different with Sans. here, Papy could slip. Sans as well. So Blue listened as the arguing went cold, as Sans left, as Papy returned to his room. And he digested his findings in the time before you eventually came home. He kept thinking as he prepared dinner, you insisting on helping, and as they all happily ate and you convinced him to put on a movie you had borrowed from someone.

 

You didn’t notice any of this, of course. When you got back from your outing, having stopped to shower at a community center, you took every spare second to check your phone for Cherry’s promised information on Reaper Bird. you had told her that the job was done, and when she asked for it, you sent in a detailed report. She could never just be satisfied with something simple. But that had been hours ago, and still nothing. You knew it would come through, you knew it was probably just her being busy, or organizing the information because that’s just what she did, but you had waited forever.

 

When the message came, you ran to the bathroom like a teen checking messages from their secret crush.

 

But as you read the report, you felt more like a teen who had just learned that their secret crush was actually a much older person who had disguised themselves as a fellow teen in order to find human sacrifices for their cult.

 

This was bigger than you expected.

 

The message ended with Cherry promising to let you know more if she came by anything new.

 

Kidnapped.

 

Reap had been kidnapped. This in itself wasn’t surprising; it was actually a bit of relief. You hadn’t fully believed what Papyrus had said about unkillable monsters, and you knew about the dust market. But still, this wasn’t a ransom. There had been no demands sent to anyone, as far as Cherry had found.

 

Amalgamates.

 

The same van that had grabbed Reap on his way back from Grillbys, only yards away from the safety of his house, had been seen picking up several other monsters, all of which had fallen under the monster embassy’s classification of amalgamates. And according to all this, amalgamates were very separate from other monsters. They were shape shifters, and there were indications that they might be several monsters that had somehow been combined.

 

Chemicals.

 

The van’s destination had fallen out of the range of informants, but now it would be followed next time it would seen. The only other time it had been seen for sure had been once in the loading bay of a company that sold high-grade chemicals to local labs and universities.

 

What were they doing to your friend. Who was doing this, and who thought they could get awAY WITH DOING IT TO YOUR FRIEND. You shook with barely controlled rage, impatience, and anger. Your phone buzzed, and you hoped Cherry had forgotten something, had given you a target to unleash this all on, but it was just that same. Damn. Glitchy. Number. You quickly just blocked the damn number, resisting the urge to throw your phone against the wall. You started the shower instead. Maybe you could cool off without going out again. It had been a while since you'd properly cleaned your bullet wound, anyway. It had been steadily shrinking, little by little. Thank stars for magical monster food, because if it was going any slower you’d be insane by now. Assuming you weren’t already. With a frustrated growl, you stripped and stepped into the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having the right connections will get you everywhere~ Sans is the last one for us to charm. how should we do it? buy him flowers? chocolates? nah. you'll see. poor blue, too, being constantly treated like a child. and POOR REAP! we gotta save him! somehow! but how?!  
> dont forget to check the non-canon spin off, What If The Itch...?
> 
> to send a skeleton on a vacation or get me to do a what if chapter based on something you want, buy me a coffee!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> yo talk to a skeleton or learn more about our beloved cast of emotionally traumatized characters, talk to me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: it happens. nothing will ever be the same.


	21. It's Really Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it finally happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its happening!
> 
> thank you guys for reading this! we would have never gotten to this point if you all hadn't bothered to look at the dumb thing. if you want to help me make the dumb thing faster, buy me a coffee at:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> to ask the skeletons how they feel now that it's happened, come see my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

This was it. No going back.

 

“Alright, it’s ready to go!”

 

“hope we got everything. there’s no way i’m going back.”

 

“I’ll follow and behind and watch you guys’ backs.”

 

It was really happening.

 

“Wowie, it feels so different from the first time!”

 

“you sure about… this?”

 

Everything would change from here on out.

 

“GET A MOVE ON ALREADY! I WILL NOT BE THE LAST ONE TO ARRIVE!”

 

“that’s the last of it, boss.”

 

From now on, you would live with six skeleton monsters.

 

The Tale Clan brothers were already there when you arrived at the house. Your house. When was the last time you lived in a house? At least three years. And you had never lived in a house like this. The roof rose three stories high, and the expansive front patio was covered by a deck that surrounded the entire second floor. It was like a giant balcony. This was real. You would be living here. With your new friends.

 

“you said another human’s gonna show up with your stuff?” Sans was laying on the grass while Papyrus ran in and out of the house with boxes.

 

So, you’d be living here with your new friends, and with Sans. something about him still felt off, and it bothered you that you couldn’t place it. “Yeah, my friend Antonio is gonna be bringing the stuff i didn’t take to the motel. He’ll probably stick around to help me get it all into the new room too. Papyrus already choose his room?” you hadn’t all picked rooms yet, but you knew you wanted one with an attached bathroom. And maybe a big window.

 

“yeah.”

 

“I want the room next to y/n!” Blue called as he jumped out of the moving van.

 

Papyrus looked scandalized. “DRAT! I should have waited for her to pick her room before I chose mine!”

 

“Not too late to change!” you laughed, euphoric as you carried a couple bags into the house. It was big and echoing and empty. It felt fresh. It felt like a new start. Immediately, you looked through the first floor bedrooms. The first one didn’t have a bathroom. You frowned. You needed one with a bathroom. You stepped into the other room on the first floor.

 

Sans was somehow already there. “hey,” he said with a lazy wave.

 

“Hey,” you answered back. You were alone with him here, although you could hear shouts indicating the arrival of Edge and Red. your instincts were screaming danger. You tried to walk around the room casually, but your muscles remained tensed, ready to run. “You claim this room already?”

 

“yeah, i think i like this one. that corner over there is perfect for a sock tornado.”

 

A what? “Guess i’ll pick something on the second floor.”

 

“heh. yeah, ‘s where all the cool rooms are.”

 

You just smiled and ducked out of the room. Well, the second floor wasn’t your first option, but at least you’d have access to that huge balcony. Passing by the living room, you saw Red and Edge carrying boxes while Stretch called out… encouragements from the couch.

 

“RED, MUST YOU BE SO SLOW? TSUNDERPLANE CHARGES BY THE HOUR!” Edge yelled.

 

“yeah red, get a _move_ on,” Stretch chuckled from one of the couches that had been placed in the living room. 

 

It seemed that each brother had brought a couch from their previous apartment. Papyrus and Sans had brought a cushy green couch that looked incredibly well loved and, in a few places, threadbare. Stretch and Blue had brought the simple loveseat from their place, dark blue with a few dark stains that, which if you had to guess, were from honey that didn’t wash out properly. And it seemed that the Fell brothers had simply brought in a black futon on a steel frame. You moved past them and hurried to find a room you liked upstairs before the best spots were taken. You managed to find one with a bathroom right by the stairs, and it’s entrance onto the wrap-around balcony gave you a view of the backyard. Perfect. You plopped your bags down, effectively claiming the room.

 

Back downstairs, the brothers were carrying things in and placing them in various rooms. The kitchen in particular had a number of boxes waiting to be unloaded. As you were navigating around a ten-foot-long plane that might have been flirting with you, you received a text message from Anny saying he was almost there. Cool. you could finally set up your furniture in your room. Good thing you didn’t have a couch. As your left arm started to ache again, you returned to your room for painkillers. This whole gun shot wound thing was really annoying. You couldn’t use your arm too much without it hurting, if you didn’t regularly apply some kind of lotion it itched like crazy, and you had to be careful to always keep it covered in clean bandages to keep away infection. Maybe when Anny was here you could ask if the current scab was enough so you could stop with the bandages. Although it still looked gnarly.

 

Of course you were out of painkillers. You must have been taking more than you realized. With a groan you flopped down on your bedroom floor.

 

“say, kid, did you know the past owners?”

 

You almost jumped out of your skin, scrambling on all fours away from the voice. When had Sans come in?! He was casually leaning against the far wall. Maybe he had come in through the balcony door. Would have to make sure that stayed locked. Ah, he had asked a question. “N-no? Just met them when Stretch and I came in for the open house.”

 

“huh. then i guess you wouldn’t know why they gave us such a good deal? cheaper than the listed price, and with a bunch of appliances thrown in.” his gaze made your skin crawl, and you could almost feel something on your back.

 

“Monster lovers?” you suggested, frustrated by the hint of uncertainty that had made its way into your voice. Sans couldn’t know anything about you. He wasn’t dangerous. You were the dangerous one. You weren’t afraid of anything.

 

“Y/N! THERE ARE SOME HUMANS HERE CLAIMING TO HAVE YOUR FURNITURE!” Papyrus’s call from downstairs saved you from prolonging conversation, and you resisted the urge to jump directly down from the second floor. You weren’t in good enough shape for that, probably.

 

Out in the front yard the plane was gone, leaving only four vehicles parked there: Papyrus’s red convertible, your motorcycle, the giant moving van, and the minivan that Anny was leaning on, offering Stretch a cigarette. You snatched it out of his hand before the skeleton could accept it and grabbed the one he was smoking right out of his mouth.

 

“You’ll rot your lungs old man,” you shook your head, “thought you’d quit?”

 

“Just tell us where to put your fucking furniture,” came an unexpected voice came from the other side of the van, and around the corner walked a young man with short and choppy red hair, sporting a scowl as he supported half of your mattress. You saw Blue was bringing up the other end, but…

 

You turned to Anny. “Why the hell is Jackie here?” your glare was accusing.

 

Anny chuckled as he pulled out pieces of your bedframe and slung them over one shoulder. His stocky, muscular frame was perfect for hauling moving boxes. He picked up a toolbox with his free hand. “Kid said he wanted to help out. Who am I to deny him? And stop calling me old man, i’m less than ten years older.”

 

“Where do we put this y/n?” Jackie called over again. 

 

You rolled your eyes and showed them to your room. Anny and Stretch found common ground in discussing trashy romance movies, and your friend seemed to get along with all the skeletons. The monsters probably didn’t even notice the subtle questions Anny was slipping in about their habits and histories. He must still feel somewhat protective of you. Edge tried to avoid the humans until he realized that no one was paying attention, after which he was unintentionally charmed by Anny’s knowledge of the arts.

 

Jackie wasn’t having such a good time.

 

“y/n, why you got so many fucking books?” Jackie grumbled as he trudged upstairs.

 

“Language!” Blue chided as he passed by on his way to grab more boxes.

 

Jackie turned and flipped him off, but when he started to continue upstairs he ran into Stretch, who said, “careful with pointing fingers. could lose ‘em.” he patted the human on the shoulder and slid down the banister.

 

“Jackie!” you called from behind, oblivious to their conversation. “This isn’t an escalator. Get your butt in gear.” you nudged him until he sighed and continued to help.

 

Sans carefully observed these new humans. If they were helping you move, there was a chance they would all interact again in the future. The older male was calm and jolly, radiating an aura that just demanded respect. In their conversations, Sans found himself liking him instantly. The younger male seemed… uncomfortable. Probably because he was surrounded by skeleton monsters. He snapped at anyone whenever he talked, even his human compatriots. However, he kept glancing at you when your back was turned.

 

“Hey I thought we were helping them move? Get your asses out of the hall, you’re blocking the way,” Jackie snapped at Red and Stretch talking to Antonio in the entry hall.

 

“Calm down Jackie. You got something against making friends?” Anny chuckled at him, his brown eyes teasing in their mirth.

 

“Some of us have actual work ethic, Anny,” he growled back, going out for more boxes.

 

“EXACTLY!” Edge piped up as he passed Jackie going in the opposite direction. He glared at his brother. “RED. YOU HAVE NOT EARNED A BREAK. ARE THERE NOT STILL FURNITURE PIECES THAT NEED ASSEMBLING?”

 

“yes boss…” Red grumbled and went to put together some shelves in the living room.

 

“Well all of y/n’s stuff is in and it looks like you guys just need to unpack, so we’ll be leaving soon,” Anny told you.

 

“Alright. Thanks for all your help, even if you did bring Jackie,” you smiled and gave Anny a hug. “See you around.” he gave a mock salute.

 

“y/n.” Jackie stood before you, glaring as usual. He jerked his head at the neighbors. “Been getting some looks. Let us know if there’s any trouble.” With that, he got in the car with Anny and they drove off.

  
  
  


Next step was unpacking. There was a great deal of bickering in regards to furniture placement in the shared areas. Your television went on the far wall, and the couches were being constantly rearranged every time you came into the room. Sans was winning the bookshelf war, claiming the best shelves for his own tomes in one of the rooms that was turning into a library/study. But the worst place was the kitchen.

 

“YOU CAN’T PUT THE CERAMIC AND PLASTIC PLATES TOGETHER! IT’S UNCULTURED!”

 

“I’m afraid I still don’t understand, Edge. why can we not put plates with plates and cups with cups?”

 

“Can we PLEASE keep the pans on the lower shelves? Put the things that aren’t used as often on the higher shelves, like the casserole dishes.”

 

“CASSEROLE DISHES ARE USED EVERY NIGHT FOR DINNER. THEY STAY IN THE DRAWER UNDER THE OVEN.”

 

“Only you use them, so I think we should let the lower storage be for pans so that shorter people can reach-”

 

“Papyrus! I’m not that short!”

 

“I-I meant like y/n! And Sans! They are definitely the ones I meant, being shorter than myself in all my greatness! Nyeh heh heh!”

 

It was almost captivating in its chaos. You snuck a cup from a box and filled it with tap water while they were distracted.

 

“HUMAN!” welp. Edge snatched the cup before you could take a drink, and dumped the water out. “DO NOT DRINK THAT FILTH.”

 

“Dude there is nothing else to drink,” you complained. “No one’s bought any drinks and tap water isn’t that bad. Cheaper than bottled stuff.”

 

“Let us put on the filter first, y/n! I insist!” Papyrus picked you up and set you to the side as he rummaged through boxes until he pulled out a tap filter and began affixing it to the sink.

 

Meanwhile, Blue handed you a glass of cold water. “You all forget! This new fridge has a water dispenser with a built in filter that is already hooked up to water!” He proudly posed with his hands on his hips, and you smiled and bumped into him affectionately.

 

“Thanks Blue.” Wow. this water… tasted better than the tap water from Swap district. If you could taste the difference, then they were getting really bad water there. Something would have to be done about that eventually, if you made any other friends there.

 

“I-I! I WAS ALSO JUST ABOUT TO POINT OUT THE FANCY NEW REFRIGERATOR!” Edge protested. Wow, when this guy wasn’t fighting, he was a huge dork.

  
  
  


The day continued to be pleasant as everyone mostly split up to work on their rooms. Red brought burgers home for everyone, but vanished almost as soon as you started eating. You felt eyes on you the whole day, but that was probably part of the territory with having so many new roommates. Blue had chosen the room to your right, Edge was to your left, Stretch was across from Blue, and Red was next to his brother, who was across from Papyrus. Sans was the only one with a room downstairs. No one had claimed the large rooms on the top floor, so one was turning into a sort of library and another an entertainment room where the Fell brother’s futon had ended up.

 

You’re living with six skeletons.

 

Six strangers.

 

They don’t feel like strangers.

 

“Goodnight guys,” you called out, deciding to turn in while they all bickered about dining tables. There was a chorus of replies, and something felt… tight and warm in your chest. Like a void that had been empty for almost two years was starting to fill.

 

You pulled out your phone. It wouldn’t hurt to make a little bit more effort, right? So you sent a text message.

 

“‘Night Byrd.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE LIVING WITH SKELETONS!!!!! :D HOPE YOURE READY FOR ROOMMATE SHENANIGANS!
> 
> HOW WILL RED DEAL WITH ALL THAT MUSHY STUFF WE DUMPED ON HIM???  
> HOW WILL SANS TOLERATE US ON A DAILY BASIS?!?!?!?  
> HOW ARE WE GONNA EXPLAIN THE TIMES WE HAVE TO LEAVE FOR GANG ACTIVITIES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
> 
> to help the skeletons buy new furniture that actually matches, donate here:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> to give me fanart of what you think all their rooms look like, go to my tumblr:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: shopping trip with Sans


	22. Buying Groceries Should Not Be This Dramatic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want some more fluff? want some character interactions? want a break from all the violence for a bit? well here ya go! we are getting way too fluffy here. dont worry, there is plenty of violence to come.
> 
> want MORE violence? MORE feels? MORE mysteries? help me buy food so i live long enough to finish this arc!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna know Anny or Jackies Stats? or how readers have changed? ask away on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You got up early and went to Muffet’s for breakfast, since there still wasn’t really any food in the house. It was early enough that there wasn’t a line and you were quick to reach the front, where Widow greeted you with a smile.

 

“Welcome back dearie! How are you?” her fanged smile falls into something more natural than the customer service grin from before.

 

“Well, yesterday I moved into a house with six monsters I barely know, so i’m buying us all donuts for breakfast. A full dozen, please.” your gaze flits to the back, where you can see spiders of various sizes moving around trays and icings. “You… hear anything about my friend?”

 

Her face falls a bit. “Afraid not, dearie. But that in itself suggests he’s definitely out of monster territory.” she boxed the donuts as you paid. “But i will keep my eyes open, afufu. And truly, let me know if any of those brothers trouble you.”

 

“Thanks, Widow. Oh, and, um, can you keep an eye out for this car?” you gave her a picture of the black van,  smiled gratefully at her nod, and started driving back to your new home. You lived in a house now. It still didn’t feel real. Stopping at a red light, you saw a large group of humans with signs making their way through the streets, with more joining. Oh no. There was an anti-monster rally today. You’d have to make sure to keep the boys inside.

 

“y/n!” Blue tackled you as soon as you got home, and you came dangerously close to dropping the donuts. “When we got back from our morning jog and you weren’t home, we were really worried!”

 

You laughed a little nervously. “Well, I am a full grown human. I can go where I want, when I want.” if they thought otherwise, they were in for a rude awakening.

 

“But you’re still injured…” Blue whined.

 

Suddenly, the donuts were out of your hands and in Sans’ instead. “these for sharing, kiddo?”

 

“You bet,” you replied, managing to untangle yourself from Blue. “where’s everyone else?”

 

“HUMAN, YOU ARE UNHARMED!” Papyrus appeared and whisked you off your feet in a spinning hug. “We were worried that you may have gotten injured again in more mysterious accidents!” they really weren’t buying your tripping story, but at least they didn’t press it too much.

 

“red and stretch are still in their rooms, and edge left for work,” Sans explained as he pulled out a donut and… covered it in ketchup??? You must have been making a face, because Sans winked at you. He really didn’t feel so threatening when you weren’t alone with him.

 

“Brother, that is disgusting! You are ruining the sanctity of a well-baked pastry!” still holding you (was Blue pouting?) Papyrus took one of the donuts and popped it in his mouth. It was odd how they didn’t need to chew. “Ah, y/n do you want one as well?” Papyrus reached for another donut and held it up to your face. 

 

He… wanted you to eat out of his hand? No. you took it from him before munching away. “Widow makes the best pastries,” you said around a mouthful of donut.

 

“You’ve been interacting with Widow?!” Papyrus’ chin tapped against the top of your head as he looked down at you. “She’s even scarier than Muffet! N-not that the great Papyrus is scared of anything or anyone!”

 

“widow been bothering you?” Papyrus spun to meet the new voice. when did Red get there? He smirked with his sharp fangs and chomped on a donut. His eyes pointedly moved to where Papyrus’s arms wrapped around you before returning to your face.

 

You wriggled until Paps got the message and put you down. “Not at all. In fact, we get along quite well.”

 

“seriously?” You turned around to see Stretch leaning on the counter. “she's one mean piece of work.”

 

“We bonded over a mutual love for spiders.” the boys shivered in disgust (or fear?), and you grabbed a donut in each hand. There was enough for everyone to have two with Edge gone, and you weren’t gonna risk someone else nabbing your share.

 

“Hmm…” Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully, “we will need to go shopping sometime soon.”

 

“I can do that today,” you quickly spoke up, remembering the anti-monster protest that seemed to be going on today. They wouldn’t hurt you, a human, but the others…

 

“i’ll go with you.” everyone turned to Sans. “since you got breakfast, paps and i can pay for the first round of groceries.” he turned to you with a glimmer of… something behind his eye sockets. “unless that’s a problem? we’ll take the car if you’re fine with that, paps?”

 

“It’s really fine Sans, I can get it.” you crossed your arms and stood at your full height, daring him to defy you.

 

He shrugged, keeping up his easy grin. “you can come along if you want.”

 

Your eyes narrowed. You didn’t like the thought of going anywhere alone with Sans. he still felt… off. Like he was always in on some joke that you just missed. But with that anti monster protest… “Fine, you guys wanna make a list of things you think you’ll need? I know i mostly need food and some toiletries.”

 

“Maybe you could get some things so we could set up some simple puzzles on the walkway to the door!” Blue exclaimed, stars in his eyes.

 

“Wowie! That would be so fun!” Papyrus was equally enthralled by the idea, and both Stretch and Sans smiled fondly at their brothers. Wait, where had Red gone? “Quick, Blue, let’s immediately make a list for groceries and puzzle supplies!” and with that, the energetic pair rushed away.

 

Ah. the donuts were all gone.

 

It didn’t take long for the shopping list to be finished, and you got in the car with Sans. you had debated asking one of the others to join you, but decided you wanted as few of them out as possible, for today.

 

“so why’d you agree to living with a bunch of monsters you don’t know?” Sans seemed keen on making conversation.

 

“Well, you’re all my friends now.” except you. For now. “And being human, i could help get a nicer place than what's available in most areas of the clan’s districts. Blue and Papyrus deserve that much.”

 

“you’ve known us all for less than a month.”

 

Was that really all? It felt like years at this point. Blue had made you dinners. Papyrus and you played games together. You horrified PTA moms with Stretch. You felt a kinship with Edge. Something about Red felt so familiar. And Sans… you glanced at him. He was in his usual blue jacket and basketball shorts, with his blue crocs. He looked focused on the road as he drove, but your experience told you all senses were focused on you. Something about him still made you uncomfortable. Like he could see something others couldn’t. Like an animal ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. Like he was judging you.

 

But at the same time… You used to be like that, when you had someone special to protect. “For some reason, I feel like I can trust you guys.”

 

Sans’s hands tensed on the wheel.

  
  
  


_ You had been drawn by the monsters, you think. They were new and exciting, so when you first noticed your hitchhiking was taking you closer to Ebott city, you followed fate and made that your destination. But now that you were here, it didn’t feel different. _

 

_ You stayed just out of sight of the cameras as you pretended to put the donuts back on the shelf, but really slipped them into your jacket. It was busy enough that it probably wouldn’t be noticed. But on your way towards the door, head down and eyes watching the shoes of strangers move around you, a strong hand grasped your shoulder. _

 

_ “Pretty slick,” an amused voice said. You looked up to see a very tall man- or woman? You weren’t sure- looking down at you with amusement. They wore a blue collar shirt and jeans with a trenchcoat and some kind of fedora. Their eyes were locked on yours. Like they could see right through you. They made you feel like a child again, caught by a teacher dealing drugs between classes. _

 

_ “Excuse me, but I’m leaving,” you said with conviction, trying to twist out of their grip and get to the door. _

 

_ “I’m going with you.” what? “But first, let me see those donuts.” shit. You opened your mouth to deny everything, but they had somehow already gotten the food from out of your jacket and dangled it in your face. “Anything else you want? My treat.” _

 

_ “I’m fine,” you insisted, trying to leave and find somewhere else to grab a bite. But your traitor stomach, having had so little to eat these past few days, let out a loud noise that had the tall person laughing. _

 

_ They bought your donuts, along with a soda and hot dog. They led you outside and you decided to follow. Cautiously. “So, why do you look like you haven’t had a good meal in days?” _

 

_ “Why do you wanna know?” you returned. You stayed at least five feet away from them at all times, just in case. _

 

_ “Got a hunch.” they shrugged. “A hunch that you came from a rough place. That you might need a place to stay. That you might want a job. A hunch that you wouldn’t mind doing some dirty work.” they eyed a stain on your jacket. A dark brown stain, a few days old. Hitch hiking wasn’t the safest way to travel. _

 

_ “Maybe. What kind of job?” _

 

_ Boss started you out with simple jobs. You refused their initial offer to stay with them, but took the blanket they gave you and found a nice alley to sleep in. the jobs they gave you started leaning more towards protecting distributors. You proved your worth. You started sleeping on Boss’s couch. You got legit jobs as well, once you started buying clean clothes and taking regular showers. You and boss got real close. Ate meals together. Went shopping. Cooked. Went to meetings. You became their personal guard. _

 

_ “Boss, do you pull a lot of people off the streets like me?” you asked one day. _

 

_ “Not many. But even then, you were special.” they shot you a grin and tossed you a kitchen knife. You caught it, of course. “Chop the celery for me.” _

 

_ “How was I special?” you were nothing. You were less than dirt until Boss picked you up. Gave you something to work towards. Made you feel like maybe, you’d be good enough to go back someday. _

 

_ “... I felt like I could trust you.” they laughed at your incredulous look. “No, not completely at first. But, like if I helped you- no, like, if I earned your loyalty, I’d be able to trust you with anything.” _

  
  
  


“Sans, I’m not pushing you. Get out of the cart.”

 

“nooooooo.”

 

You sighed, more amused than frustrated really, and grabbed a different cart, leaving Sans behind to try and clamber out alone. “How often do you think we’ll have to go shopping? I’ve never shared food with this many people. We’ll probably share dinner, right?”

 

“yeah, maybe lunch and breakfast too, depending on who’s home. paps, blue, and edge like to cook for everyone. Edge is really bad at it though, unless he’s improved in the past few months. We’ll probably have to shop every other week or so.”

 

“It really seems like you all knew each other before I know you.” you’d heard rumors that the clans were all different versions of each other, but you didn’t buy all that cloning shit or whatever people were saying nowadays.

 

“didn’t you know? All monsters know each other.”

 

“Ha ha. Make fun of the ignorant human.”

 

“the eight of us used to live in close quarters at the embassy.” Sans walked beside you as you went down the aisles, filling the cart. “the six of us and two more: blue and stretch’s dad and red’s… boss. We’re the only skeletons.”

 

“You all related?”

 

He chuckled. “something like that.”

 

The shopping was slow going. Being in territory that wasn’t very integrated, Sans got a few mean looks and you gave plenty back. He paid for the groceries and you both started carrying them to the car. Until someone in the parking lot yelled at you.

 

“You’re going to hell for associating with those things!”

 

You rolled your eyes. If you were going to hell, it would be for very different reasons. It was a small group of protestors who looked like they had broken off from the main group to buy snacks. Two tough looking guys, in faded t-shirts and cutoff jeans, and one woman who wrinkled her nose as if you were trash, wearing bright mismatched shorts and a tank top. Sans didn’t pay any attention to them as he continued to load the car. You turned and stared them down.

 

They didn’t take the hint. “Do yourself a favor and ditch that thing before it uses its magic!”

 

“Fuck off,” you replied. The cart was empty. You flicked your eyes from Sans to the nearest cart return, and he slowly moved towards it.

 

One of the men grabbed the cart, halting the skeleton. “Go back under the ground where you came from, corpse.”

 

Sans’s eye lights vanished. Your rage boiled. Your fist connected with the smug man’s jaw, and it’s a testament to his fortitude that he didn’t go flying backwards, merely staggering a few steps.

 

“Back off from my friend, creeps. Unless you want to fight a real monster?” you licked your lips. Oh, they would regret it if they stayed. You were getting reeeaaaal itchy with all those comments. You straightened up. “I mean, I don’t really mind. But to be fair, I’ll give you five seconds to run. One…”

 

“You BITCH!” the man you hit stood back up and took a step towards you, but his friends were looking nervous.

 

“Two…” From your back pocket, you drew a switchblade and flicked it open.

 

The man was quiet now, eyeing the knife and trying to work out his chances of winning against you. He’d get in a few hits, sure, but he’d bleed before the end.

 

“Three…” you used the knife to clean out your fingernails, making an act of how calm you were. That always threw off an opponent.

 

“Just leave it man, she’s not worth it.” it looked almost physically painful, and you could see a vein throbbing in his forehead, but the man joined his friends and walked away. You waited for them to be gone before putting away your weapon.

 

“Fuckers,” you spat. “You okay, Sans?” as you turned to face him, you fell to your knees. You felt heavy. Like when you stay in the pool for a while, and come out remembering that you can’t float above water. Except easily ten times that feeling. You struggled to face your companion.

 

Sans looked bad. His eye lights were still gone, his empty looking skull facing you, with sweat pouring down his forehead. One arm was outstretched towards you, trembling. “d o n t   m o v e ,  k i d .”

 

“Sans? Are you doing this?” you asked, your words heavy with rage. How dare he! And after you just stood up for him! Does no one value a good rescue anymore? The skeleton before you was quiet. “SANS!” you barked.

 

He snapped out of it. The weight was gone, his eyes were back, his hands in his pockets, and he was walking to the car as if none of it had happened. “ah, sorry about that y/n. had a… flashback.”

 

Neither of you talked on the way home.

 

You wanted to like Sans, you really did, but… you didn’t like feeling helpless.

  
  
  


Blue made dinner that night, your first dinner in the new house. There was chatter about how everyone’s rooms were coming as you all served yourselves chicken tostadas and some sort of bean salad. Papyrus and Blue sat on either side of you, intent on discovering your deepest thoughts on pasta. Stretch would occasionally throw in a pun or distract you with antics. Sans ate quickly and left the house, citing unfinished work at the lab. Red never made an appearance, and after some fidgeting, Edge went to bring him some food (“I’M JUST MAKING SURE SOMEONE WATCHES OUT FOR THAT USELESS LAYABOUT!”). It was a pleasant night, but you were thinking about what Sans had done to you earlier that day. That heavy feeling of not being able to move. And the time Stretch used magic to slam you against the wall, but if had felt like falling. And when Blue had trapped your cohort at the raid. They all seemed to have the same kind of magic. But what exactly was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some one doesnt like knives! how about that.
> 
> to pay for sans' much needed therapy, consider buying me a coffee at:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> To learn more about skeletal grocery lists, ask about it on:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: yet more fluff, im so sorry, it just happened, and it just keeps happening, i really didnt plan for there to be this much, but at least we get to talk to red.


	23. Clearing the Air With the Fell brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everybody! wow when was the last time you had to wait a whole week for an update? a long ass time ago, thats when. or it feels like a long time? after so many resets, time can lose its meaning...
> 
> want to request a what if chapter? i dont do all of them, but i will do all of the ones that come with buying me a coffee!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> want to write red a love letter? submit it at:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Blue missed sleeping with you. You were like a big, warm, soft pillow, perfect for cuddling. Not that he usually dared until he was sure you were asleep. But how could he resist when you were right there, and you smelled so good? He knew it was intimate. Stars, he wanted to be more intimate if you would let him. But you didn’t seem keen on broaching the topic. You had run away last time he tried. So he would leave it be for now, and simply enjoy being around you now that you all lived together. He waited downstairs for you to wake up, ready to try and spend time with you. 

 

“RUNT!” he turned, groaning at the commanding voice of Edge. “HAVE YOU SEEN THE HUMAN YET THIS MORNING?”

 

“No, she usually gets up in about an hour. And don’t call me runt! I am the magnificent Blue!”

 

“PAH! MAGNIFICENT MY PATELLA. WHEN YOU SEE HER, INFORM THE HUMAN THAT I WISH TO SPEAK TO HER TONIGHT!”

 

“Maybe i will if you ask nicely!” Blue bristled. It had been almost a year, and still the Fell clan had yet to learn manners! “Good luck getting a magic license if you can’t display basic manners!”

 

Edge’s magic flared dangerously, but he quelled it. This would be a stupid time and place to get offended. “FINE. PLEASE INFORM THE HUMAN THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH HER TONIGHT.” with that, the tall skeleton stomped off to gather breakfast.

 

Papyrus soon appeared with an energetic greeting and bantered with Edge as they prepared to leave. Blue waved goodbye to Papyrus and Edge as they went to work, wondering if Edge would spend more time with them now. He was sure that under that tough exterior was a friend waiting to be found! He hadn’t even argued about manners this time. When you made your appearance, hair mussed from sleep and eyes only half open, you were tackled by a small excited skeleton.

 

“y/n! How are you feeling?!”

 

His grin made you smile. You had even managed not to flinch when he surprise-hugged you. “Feeling pretty good, Blue. i think the wound is doing great too. I don’t really know much about medical stuff, but it hardly leaks so i think soon i’m gonna stop wearing the bandages.” the bandages in question no longer held a thick pad of gauze, and at this point were more like a thin cloth wrapping to keep things out of the wound.

 

“Did the hospital not give you instructions on when that would be fine?” you were relieved that he appeared more curious than judgemental over possibly forgotten instructions. You loved the little guy, but his mother-henning had been seriously getting on your nerves.

 

“Never went to the hospital. Had a friend patch me up before you guys got there.” Blue looked horrified. “No, it’s fine! I don’t have insurance anyway, and i knew i wasn’t dying or anything.”

 

Blue held his skull in his hands. “Really, y/n, if i’d known you didn’t get immediately checked out, we could have gone to a monster doctor! Even if you didn’t want to talk about how you got your wound.”

 

You felt a stab of guilt, but you had committed to the lie. Even if they suspected the true cause, you didn’t want to confirm anything that could let them know you were a criminal. These were good people. You would be a good roommate for them. Well, edge already knew, though you had yet to discuss that with him. Maybe you should do that today…

 

“Why don’t we celebrate with some nice cream? You could drive us there on your motorcycle!” you returned your attention to your skeletal companion, whose eye lights had changed to stars out of excitement for either ice cream or motorcycles.

 

“That… actually sounds really nice. Lemme grab my wallet and let’s go.”

 

“Allow me to pay! In honor of your recovery!” he insisted, and you shrugged. Ice cream was ice cream, and you did buy donuts the other day. He followed you to your bike and put on the helmet you gave him. “The best nice cream shop is near Tale park!” he didn’t wait for you to tell him to hold on, wrapping his arms tightly around you and giving a quick squeeze. Something about it felt different from when his brother had ridden with you. A nice different.

 

You wove through cars, although their frequency decreased as you entered tale. It was the most integrated district, but true integration was a ways off. You found parking near the park, and took off your helmets.

 

“MOTORCYCLES ARE SO FUN!” Blue cried out, grinning from ear...hole to ear hole. “I WANT ONE TOO!”

 

“Heh, well i can help you get a good deal once you have a license and saved up. We could also totally go for a ride sometime. I hear there’s some good roads on Mt. Ebott-”

 

“I don’t want to go to mount Ebott,” he interrupted. His face was dark, his smile now much less cheery. “But let’s get that nice cream! Follow me!”

 

It almost felt wrong to be so close to the park and walk away from it instead of going there to sit for a while. When you lingered, Blue took your hand and pulled you away. You didn’t resist. The shop he led you to was apparently just finishing getting ready to open for the day. The outside was painted a happy pastel yellow, with a striped red and yellow canopy shielding a couple of tables and chairs from the sun. a bell tinkled as you opened the door. The inside was also decorated with red and yellow stripes, and the smell of sugar and cream filled the air. It had been a while since you visited a proper ice cream shop, not just the frozen aisle of the supermarket. a blue anthropomorphic rabbit greeted you cheerily, his long ears perking up as he waved.

 

“Welcome to the nice cream store! The frozen treat that warms your heart!” the bunny chirped. “Oh! Blue! Been keeping well?”

 

“Yes! This is my human friend y/n, and we’re getting some nice cream to celebrate recovery for an injury!” you glanced at Blue, surprised he knew this guy and a bit irritated that he was sharing your business so easily.

 

The rabbit appear the think, raising a paw to his chin, before his ears perked up. “One of the citrus flavors is perfect for celebrating recovery! I recommend peachy punch or likeable lemon in either our classic popsicle or new creamy dairy scoops!”

 

“Well, if you’re paying, might as well try something new,” you said, to which your friend gave a thumbs up. “Peachy punch popsicle?”

 

“I’ll have the delightful dark chocolate popsicle, please!” almost as soon as you were out the door, he tore off the wrapper, forming a glowing blue tongue to lick at it. You found yourself staring. You remember Red doing something similar on your date, but seeing it when you actually had your wits was something else.

 

“I wish my tongue glowed,” was what came out of your mouth.

 

Blue blushed. “You don’t… think it’s weird?” he personally found it incredibly inconvenient. He didn’t necessarily need to form his tongue to eat, but it helped to taste things. But a glowing tongue? Usually threw people off.

 

“I think it’s really cool! Glowing body parts would be damn useful.”

 

“Mmm.” Blue was now pointedly looking away, cheeks dusted blue.

 

Licking at your orange-pink-red swirled popsicle, you both walked in the direction of your bike as you pulled out your phone. You had been trying to talk to Red for a while, to apologize for your drunk-ass ramblings, but he hadn’t responded to any of your apologies or requests to talk, even now that you were living together. You’d have to try and corner him. You walked around and chatted as you ate, passing the parking lot and just meandering as the popsicles shrunk. There weren’t many people out, but Blue was greeted by several monsters, and even a couple humans. That had surprised you. You hadn’t seen your skeletal roommates really interact with other humans besides you, and they had talked about not really having human friends. You frowned. Had that been a lie? Not that you were jealous. People were allowed to have friends. You shook your head as you finished the popsicle, looking at what was written on the popsicle stick.

 

“You’re better than you think,” you read out loud. Ha. not likely. “What does yours say?”

 

Blue devoured the last of it before reading it out. “You look spiffy today! Ah, i’ve gotten that one before. I must be super spiffy!”

 

“You sure are.” you nudged him playfully as you both turned towards where your bike was, tossing your trash in a nearby bin. “... hey Blue? What do you know about Red?”

 

“He’s a rude, perverted, violent monster. Like most of the monsters from Fell,” he huffed. “...but, he’s also very smart, loyal to his brother, and went through a lot, from what i’ve gathered. But he has a long way to go before he can be half as magnificent as me!”

 

You hummed in thought as you both got your helmets on and saddled up. Did you imagine it, or did Blue run his hands down your sides a bit before wrapping his arms around you? … you didn’t know whether or not you wanted it to be your imagination. The attention these skeletons had been giving you… felt nice. You revved up and took off.

  
  
  


Red was good at two things: physical fighting and avoiding problems. It was easy to just shortcut away when you got too close to him during the move-in. And after that, he’d just have to stay in his room whenever you were home. Which… was looking to be a lot of the time. Didn’t you have a job? He had popped down when you brought donuts, only lingering to make sure Widow wasn’t bothering you, but left as soon as he was satisfied. He threw a pillow across the room.

 

What had that drunken talk been about?! Why had you said… those things? Being loved, being worth something, he knew he wasn’t. He was trash. He had a chance to be a new person on the surface, sure, but you can’t get rid of EXP. your sins stay with you forever. He had understood that, and was fine. So he knew he would never be good. But then you had come along and told him exactly what he wanted to hear.

 

He knew he could never really atone for his sins.

 

_ “You are more than your mistakes.” _

 

He knew he could never be fixed, that no matter how long he stayed aboveground, he’d still feel the itch of his magic just ready to lash out.

 

_ “You are not broken.” _

 

He knew that no one would ever love him. Frisk didn’t. Tori didn’t. His brother…

 

_ “You are loved.” _

 

Stars, he wanted to believe it.

 

_ “You are loved.” _

 

He sat on his bed, back to the wall, and slowly thunked his head against the wall. He was probably worrying for nothing. You had been smashed, probably didn’t even remember all that. He was worrying for nothing.Asgore’s Beard, staying in here was stupid! He just needed to go out, act normal, and maybe he’d get you to arm wrestle him again so he could feel those soft little hands, and this time use his full power. Yeah! This was all dumb! He would get up and go downstairs right now, and enjoy that fancy new TV you had brought.

 

“Red?” he jumped when he heard you knock at the door, just as he was reaching for the handle. “You in there?”

 

Shit! Hadn’t you just gone out with Blue? Why were you back so soon! He wasn’t ready! What would he even say to you? Maybe if he was quiet, you’d go away. Good thing he didn’t have a fleshy pounding heart to give him away.

 

“I heard you in there. We’re roomies now; you can’t avoid me forever.” you waited, but there was no response. “Look, i just wanted to apologize for the weird shit i vaguely remember saying and doing when i got plastered. I’m not leaving until you tell me we’re cool.”

 

“...why’d ya say all that weird shit about love ‘n stuff anyway?” Red’s voice came through the door.

 

“Open up. I’m not answering questions through your door.” A surly skeletal face greeted you. “I was just… really out of it, okay?” you rubbed the back of your neck, not meeting his eyes. “So i said a bunch of weird stuff.”

 

“yeah, well, where did all that… come from? It was like ya were try’na… console someone.”

 

Your stance tightened. “... it was just something someone used to say to me. Now, we cool or not?”

 

“fine, we’re cool,” Red smiled and gave a lazy shrug, before opening his arms. “hug on it? Since you were so clingy that night…”

 

“Psh, just ‘cause you took me on a date doesn’t mean we’re cuddle buddies now. That’s just for Blue and Papyrus.” you crossed your arms and grinned at him

 

“aw, i’m not at cuddle buddy level?” Stretch was leaning on his doorframe, listening in with interest. “and here i thought we had something special.”

 

You laughed as Red looked on with mild confusion. “Hey, you divorced me!” now Red was very confused.

 

“let’s start over then, y/n.” Stretch sauntered over, failing to hold back a smile, and kneeled in front of you, taking one of your hands as you raised a brow in question. “will you, human y/n, please grant me hug permission?”

 

“Hmm,” you thought, a mock serious face in place. “But what would i stand to gain from this arrangement?”

 

“i’ll make you lunch.”

 

“Done.” you held your arms out, and Stretch gave you a hug. You didn’t see him smirk at Red behind your back.

 

“doesn’t seem fair! I coulda made ya lunch.” Red grumbled.

 

“too bad. I’m gonna go get the microwave started then.” Stretch winked at you.

 

“What! Not even a cooked meal! I’ve been swindled!” you chased him downstairs, Red following, and you ended up in the living room with Blue and Sans, who were watching some space documentary. “Blue! Your brother has deceived me!” you called out theatrically.

 

“Brother, what trouble are you causing now?!” Blue turned to face Stretch.

 

“not my fault the lady doesn’t know how to make deals,” Stretch chuckled, pulling out some easy-make meals from the freezer. “no reason to act so  _ cold _ .”

 

You rolled your eyes and plopped down on the couch. Blue immediately snuggled close to you, gripping one of your arms. red sat on the other couch, and Stretch sat on the other side of Blue once he handed you your meal.

  
  
  


All through dinner, Edge kept watching you. You made sure not to give him special attention. Blue had told you of Edge’s request, but it could wait until after dinner. Tonight, Papyrus had prepared parmesan chicken and it was done fairly well; although in sacrifice for delicious food you hadn’t gotten more than a hug since his return from work. Red and Sans were punning back and forth while Edge yelled at them, and Papyrus was discussing baked goods with Stretch. Blue was updating you on the happenings of the monster embassy; taking down Ebott’s border was going well and monsters were vacationing in droves, excited to get to explore the surface freely. Apparently the various royal families were planning vacations as well, all separately of course. Something about the queens not getting along? As dinner went on,  Edge got more and more fidgety. When everyone's plates had been cleaned but you still lingered at the table, he finally got up and grabbed your arm, dragging you away. 

 

“Edge, what gives?” you smacked his hands away as he pulled y into his room and sit the door. 

 

“IT IS TIME WE DISCUSS OUR ARRANGEMENT.,” he huffed, crossing his arms and looking neither amused nor intimidated. 

 

“alright, fine,“ you sat on his bed, “you're living with us now, what else do you want for keeping the secret that I saved your life?”

 

“INFORMATION.” you tensed. He was a moron if he recognized your gang from your mask and thought you’d give anything on them up. “FOR STARTERS, WHY DID YOU INTERFERE THAT NIGHT?”

 

“Caught wind of a monster hit and wanted to make sure if it was Blue or Paps that they were safe.” No harm in answering honestly there.

 

“BUT IT WAS ME. AND YOU INTERFERED ANYWAY.”

 

You shrugged. “If a human attacks another human, monsters don’t get in any more trouble. Didn’t realize how capable you were without magic.” you smiled and gave a teasing wink, which made his face go red.

 

“W-WELL! I AM SIGNIFICANTLY MORE SKILLED IN SUCH MATTERS THAN MOST MONSTERS.” He gave you a hard look. “BUT YOU DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH ANTI-MONSTER SENTIMENTS, DO YOU?”

 

“Nope.” you brought your feet onto the bed, sitting cross-legged. “I’m only shit to people who are shit first.” you mind flashed to the website you had used to stop the hit on Edge. you hadn’t checked it in over a week, with how things had been. “I know a way to get more information on them, though. A website i can show you sometime. It’s how i found your would-be assassins.” you rubbed your wound thoughtfully. It had healed a significant amount, even if it still looked pretty nasty.

 

“... HOW ARE YOUR WOUNDS? FROM THAT NIGHT?” he must have noticed your movement. Not that it was hard to. You gave a noncommittal shrug. “...WHEN THEY HEAL, YOU OWE ME A FIGHT.” He wasn’t looking at you anymore, arms crossed defensively and a true blush to his cheekbones.

 

You just grinned. “Looking forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you love the trope of SUPPORTING YOUR FRIENDS? reader really does pack bond way too quickly. it seems like just yesterday we were threatening edge not to spill our secrets, and threatening red about teasing us. my how the turntables.
> 
> help pay for Blue's nice cream:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> ask everyone's favorite nice cream flavors at:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: what hapPINS in the gang...


	24. The Pins Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends! ready for more shenanigans? i hope so because we got several chapter comin at ya fast. look forward to it!
> 
> help me pay for my plane ticket back to america:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> come be my friend!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You decided to forgo the bandages. You bought jumbo band aids for when you felt like going out in public and didn’t feel like your exposed wound being stared at, but the scab wasn’t leaking fluids anymore and you were tired of wrapping and re-wrapping and needing help with said re-wrapping. It would be fine. It almost felt back to normal, even. Blue still hovered whenever he saw you doing anything that required heavy lifting, but his concern had largely faded as he saw the improvement in your healing. He tried to sit you down every so often to pour some more of his own magic in, and today was one of those days.

 

“If i’m eating monster food, why do you still try to use your magic?” you ask. You and Blue are seated on the couch together, with some documentary or something running in the background that Red was watching.

 

“I want you to heal as quickly and cleanly as possible!” Blue huffed. “But this was a lot to regrow. It seems that your fleshy body can only accept so much magic healing at once, which also slowed it down.” the green glow where he had been working faded as he pulled his phalanges away. “But now that most of it’s re-grown, it’s going so much faster! Muah!” he gave your wound a little kiss, which made Red tense up on the other couch.

 

“Well, i appreciate that. Maybe i’ll even go back to work soon.” It had been a while since you had done any of your jobs. You missed going out with the gang and waiting for trouble to find you. You missed missions where the adrenaline stayed with you for hours as you snuck into buildings and disabled foes in pursuit of information or items. You missed guard duty, even. You… well, you didn’t miss your job at the casino. But you had to earn your keep when things weren’t violent, too.

 

“You know…” Blue hugged you and snuggled his skull into your arm. You pleasantly noted that didnt hurt when he did that. “You don’t have to go back to work. There could still be someone out there trying to hurt you!”

 

“Blue, it’s been weeks and nothing else has happened, has it?” he refused to answer. “It was a one time thing. I tripped and fell on a spike, and then something happened to go down at the motel i happened to be staying at. Probably just some gang thing. You know about the gangs around here, right?”

 

“what happened at yer motel?” Red was looking over at you. You had almost forgotten he was there. “no one tried to… pull anything on ya, did they?”

 

You almost laughed. No one had been able to try and ‘pull something on you’ in a motel room in a long time. “No Red, there was just a thing that happened that wasn’t related to me at all.”

 

Blue narrowed his eye sockets. “y/n. You didn’t hear then, that the police caught the man who set the bomb?”

 

“What?!”

 

“bomb?!”

 

“Papyrus told me,” Blue continued. “They caught him but he hasn’t said much. I was going to see who it was tomorrow, since it’s my day to work with the humans. I may even get to sit in on questioning!” he carefully watched your face. “The only thing they know for sure is that he rented the room and placed the bomb. It was intentionally put on the wall between his and your rooms.”

 

Huh. whatever was playing on Netflix sure was interesting. Those sure are people doing things in a hos- wait is Red watching House? You failed to meet anyone’s eye sockets.

 

“That is why i keep telling y/n to go with me and give a statement to the human police!” Papyrus appeared behind you, handing you a plate of breakfast foods. “I will even go with you to make sure you feel comfortable, since you do not seem to enjoy being around human law enforcement! Though i must say, i am happy that you see royal guards differently.”

 

“Sorry.” You weren’t sorry. “I had a… bad experience with the police before.” not totally a lie.

 

Red, meanwhile, was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. He already knew you were a killer, but you protected monsters. You saved his brother. You were violent, for sure, and while sober  you seemed amicable, when you were drunk you had regarded every move he made on you as an attack. You couldn’t just be some sort of pro-monster vigilante; that wouldn’t have necessitated the outright killing of your own kind. You didn’t want to go to the police, even though you had apparently been bombed?! You had to be involved in the gangs. Did his bro already know all this when he insisted on living here? He tuned back in to the conversation, which you had steered away from violence.

 

“I’m gonna be eating lunch out with friends, but i’ll be back before dinner,” you said as you took a bite of over easy eggs. It was fucking delicious. How did he do it? “Will you both be here tonight to finish the season finale of Gravity Falls?”

 

“We will indeed!” Papyrus confirmed. “But, you know, i was thinking of trying a new sandwich recipe for lunch, and i was hoping you would tell me what you thought!”

 

“Sorry, but i really can’t miss this meeting.” you gave an apologetic smile.

 

“Please?” The look Papyrus gave you, and the voice he used, made you want to say yes. If it were anything less important, you would have caved on the spot. Since when did making these guys happy mean so much to you?

 

“I-I really can’t.” you backed up, as if distance would somehow lessen the pain that his sad face caused you. He looked like he had lost you to a war, rather than losing you for lunch. He had no business looking that sad! “If you save me a sandwich, I’ll try it when i get back?” he merely nodded without a change in expression. What was the big deal? “Hey, Paps? You, um, okay there?” with another nod he started to go back to his usual self. At least a bit reassured, you left the room.

 

You didn’t see Blue throw Papyrus a calculating glance.

  
  
  


It felt like a long time since you had been to Boss’s house. You parked your bike in their garage after opening it up with the old code they had apparently never changed, and walked into the house.

 

“Boss! I’m home! You ready to go?” you called into the silent halls. The place really was the same every time you came over. Everything beige, with few personal touches in the living room or kitchen. As you opened the fridge on a quest for snacks, Boss appeared. They were fiddling with their physical pin, the representation of their status within Ushravas. Finally, they managed to pin it to their shirt under their jacket.

 

“Raiding the fridge like you never left, huh?” they asked with an amused chuckle. “You’re lucky you’re my favorite.”

 

“I’m everyone’s favorite,” you replied, grinning devilishly as you opened a creamsicle.

 

Boss rolled their eyes. “Well, you’re the only one i’m bringing tonight, so let’s go.”

 

You tried not to jump around too much like an excited puppy, but you were so excited. Boss was taking you to a pin meeting. It was your second one, but this time he was taking only you. The other member from last time must have fallen out of favor. You hadn’t. You slid into the passenger seat of Boss’s sleek silver car, and the two of you made your way to the casino. Being relatively early in the day, the establishment was closed as you pulled into employee parking and entered the building. You did a quick recon of the area before opening Boss’s car door and following them inside, into the hall, and into the meeting room. Boss pulled out their nice wooden rocking chair, the only really nice chair in the room, and you began setting up the cheap plastic tables for the meeting.

 

“How many are we expecting tonight?” you asked, trying to figure out how many tables to pull out and which position to set them up in. only downside of coming with Boss was being the first here and having to set up the meeting room. Boss, of course, didn’t lift a finger. You wouldn’t have let them if they tried. You don’t head a local gang and do the grunt work when the grunts were so eager to please.

 

“Prepare for twenty. Box said he was bringing a few.”

 

You nodded and did as bid, pulling out the tables and setting them up in the proper square-donut arrangement as Cherry and Dragon walked in, followed by a young man. Cherry looked flawless as ever, bright red curls bouncing as she grabbed her chair and sat almost opposite of Boss. Dragon’s face was just as cold and calculating as her girlfriend’s, her jet-black hair tightly pinned in place, ice blue dress hugging all her curves. She glared at the boy who came with them as he tried to sit between them, and he quickly moved his chair to the other side of Cherry. He must be her candidate. Unsurprisingly, Dragon didn’t bring one. You nodded in greeting, finally grabbing your own cheap folding chair and setting it up next to Boss.

 

“Ladies,” Boss greeted smoothly. “Dragon, need i remind you that this is the fifth meeting you’ve attended without a candidate?”

 

“If i find someone even remotely suitable for an apprenticeship, you’ll be the third to know,” she replied with a dismissive wave.

 

Boss chuckled. “And Cherry, this is…?”

 

Cherry nodded at the boy, who nervously stood. “I’m S-silicon, s-Boss, sir,” the poor kid stumbled. Well, kid was inaccurate, he was probably a bit older than you. Though he must be relatively new to the gang.

 

“Keeps excellent records, and a good hacker,” Cherry said. “Of course, he’ll be better when i’m done with him.” he eagerly nodded and sat back down.

 

Antonio entered with Jackie and some other person you didn’t know, giving a quick but warm greeting to Boss. Jackie frowned when he saw that you were the only one with Boss, and you just smiled back at him sweetly.

 

“Mugs, Wolf, Rabbit,” Boss greeted them in turn as they each brought their chairs to the table. Anny put his seat next to you, and Rabbit sat between him and Jackie. “Good to see you again. Feels as if it’s been a while.”

 

“You never come to the fights anymore ‘s why,” Anny grumbled. “Someday you should get in the ring again. Now THAT would draw some attention.” Boss chuckled and shook their head, and so Anny turned his attention to you. “How’s the new place? Those boys treating you right?”

 

Cherry leaned forward onto the table. “Boys? You moved?” her lips quirked. “They could cause us trouble.”

 

“They won’t,” you growled dangerously. “Lay off, Cherry.”

 

“Come on Boss,” Cherry pleaded, “i think for the safety of the family-” you let out a snort “-Fang’s new environment needs to be under watch.” if looks could kill, Cherry would be holding on by a thread. She was a useful ally, and there were times you almost felt friendly, but then she would pull this shit. She had blackmail on all the members of Ushravas, save for a few special cases. You were one of them. The last time you had caught her ‘monitoring’ you, the two of you had exchanged a few choice words. And perhaps a few choice threats as well. Maybe a couple sharp objects. Dragon had been furious when she found out you were threatening her girlfriend, and the subsequent financial attacks made you go to Boss, who cooled everyone down and told Cherry to cut out any attempts to monitor you. But here she was, trying to do it again. That’s what happened when you were as much of a threat as you had become. It was almost flattering.

 

“Fang is capable of watching herself. Right, Fang?” You tried not to smile too much at Boss’s blatant trust and support. You failed. “Now where is Box? You’d think he’d know how to be on time given-”

 

“-my job?” Box made his appearance… through the large ventilation shafts. “Sorry Boss, one of these young ‘uns had apparently never navigated vents before.” following the tall older Indian man were three more gang members, two of them looking a bit shell-shocked and all a bit sweaty. Box thumped them on the back good-naturedly. “Think of it as the road less traveled,” he suggested. He pulled up a chair on the other side of boss, and finally the meeting could begin.

 

All five pins, the leaders of your organization, were present, with any bodyguards they chose to bring, and their potential successors or pin candidates. Box, in charge of shipping infrastructure and keeping up appearances, was easily the oldest member of the gang in the room, his hair already half gray. He had worked in Ushravas since he was a child, as his grandfather was the founder. With him were three potential successors, two of which were new, one of which was also a guard, all here to learn more about what it was a pin did. If he retired, he would pass his pin on to one of those three. Anny, or Mugs, regulated the various gyms and underground fights Ushravas held or took part in. He also did a fair amount of solidifying and guarding gang territory. Mugs had originally been the successor to the leader of the gang’s muscle, organizing where everyone would go and keeping track of it all during jobs. However, he retired from the position officially to run the rings instead, and trained Jackie to take it up instead over the past few years. He had brought one potential successor to his fighter pin. Jackie was there of course, all but sure to receive a pin of his own soon as the new head of the grunts. He had basically held the position for two years, and had fought off all competition for it. At one point he had tried to fight you off as well, but you hadn’t been interested in the job anyway. Dragon was the treasurer of Ushravas, keeping track of the books and making regular reports, keeping various government agencies off of the gang’s trail. She had never had a potential successor for as long as you had been aware, and it seemed she was continuing this trend. Cherry, on the other hand, had been rumored to go through apprentices like she went though nail polish: quickly and thoroughly. If they didn’t meet her standards, there was always some other hopeful looking to run the gang’s network of intelligence bots and informants. But it was a tough job, and one that required the most loyal of members. Cherry made very, very sure that any potentials understood that. There were severe consequences if she was the one to find your loyalties lacking. And then there was the fifth and last pin, Boss. You were here as Boss’s bodyguard, a singular honor in your book. They were, well, their title was self explanatory. 

 

there were seven spots total for pins, and the titles changed depending on what the gang needed from leadership at the time, but it had been a long time since all seven positions were filled at once, so boss kept the spare physical pins of white horse’s heads somewhere safe. The five pins present were proudly wearing their tokens on display here in this room.

 

And thus the meeting began, everyone giving their reports and taking notes on the goings-on of the last six months, with a break for lunch catered by one of the restaurants under the gang’s protection. While they didn’t exactly run racketeering, they were more reliable than an insurance company, in many ways. Hooligans would be fools to try and steal from a place under their protection. Of course, this world was full of fools.

 

“That concludes standard business,” Boss declared as the reports finished. “Are there any new topics you wish to discuss?” at a raised hand, Boss gestured to Dragon. “Dragon, you have the floor.”

 

“You’ve been receiving my messages from the Kings? I think everyone should know about them.” Boss nodded for her to continue as a few murmurs broke out. The Kings were another gang that worked in the area, but they had an… unsavory reputation. Ushravas didn’t deal with them in general. “They’ve been requesting our services for a while now, more and more… insistently. Of course, being slave trade, we don’t deal with them. But recently, they’ve been sending threats. Dear?”

 

Cherry looked directly at you. “The Kings are the one who bombed the motel. They know Fang’s face and affiliations, and are trying to leverage that information to get us to cooperate.”

 

You face blanched. That was not good news at all. “But they can’t… they can’t really do anything with that, right? They come near me, and i take them down.”

 

A mirthless smile. “They can give the information to the pigs. Its enough to keep you a few days for questioning. Normally you could just clam up and it’d be fine, but given your background… there’s a chance that’s long enough to lead them to your past.”

 

“I don’t think Fang is the only target either, just a convenient one,” Mugs piped up. “I’ve seen more and more Kings comin’ ‘round the fights. Trying to follow a couple of us home; little things that wouldn’t outright start a gang war.”

 

“Cherry,” Boss barked, “increase surveillance on their movements and give me something low-level to get them off Fang’s back. The rest of you keep an eye out as well. We’re not letting anyone think they can do this to Ushravas.” everyone nodded. “Anything else on the subject?” you were nervous, but kept your head down. “Alright. Now, on the matter of pins…” Jackie practically shot up in his chair. “Mugs, you first.”

 

Mugs chuckled at Jackie’s obvious interest. “Well, i think it’s about time. The pin for organizing the watch, the guard dogs, and the grunts in general has sat unassigned too long. I motion that we begin the process of instating Wolf as an official pin.” the motion was seconded by Box, and Jackie glowed. “Any objections? No? Discussion?”

 

Boss smiled. “We’re excited to welcome you as a full pin Jackie. You’ve done a lot in your time here.”

 

“Thank you so much, Boss!” Jackie tried not to squeal. He really did look like a puppy, practically vibrating in joy.

 

“Then, we will begin the preparations immediately. You will be contacted regarding the specifics at a later time.” Boss turned his attention away from Jackie… and to you. “Also on the subject of pins, i would like to open the floor to discussion for putting Fang on the path towards the cleaner’s pin.” now that had everyone’s attention. There was a tense moment of silence.

 

“Well, she fits the bill,” Mugs conceded.

 

“She hasn’t been around long, but she could be put on the path to preparation,” Dragon said, with Cherry nodding at her side.

 

“She’s only been with us a year!” Jackie burst out. “What has she done to deserve consideration for a pin?!”

 

Well, that was a bit insulting. As you growled under your breath, Boss spoke up for you instead. “She shows exceptional talent, as well as a singular loyalty. She follows orders and is more than capable of learning the duties of an assassin.”

 

Discussion continued, but you found it hard to focus on their voices. Boss hadn’t told you he had been considering you for a pin. And the assassin’s pin, no less! That’s a big responsibility. And you had been here less than a year. Usually you would barely prove your loyalty in that time. But Boss trusted you. While flattering, you weren’t… really sure if you wanted this? You didn’t want responsibility. You were free right now, to do what you want, basically when you want. With that pin, you’d be more than a person. You would be a whole branch of Ushravas. You would have regular jobs, be expected to train people, your name would increase, there would be a bigger target on your back… and your whole job would be killing people. Not that you didn’t do that already, but you did other things too… plain fighting, guarding, your waitressing… the skeletons’ faces flashed in your mind. What would they think of you? Wait. why would their opinions matter? Shit. you were getting very, very attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so now we know more about our gang family! what do you think? wanna be an assassin?
> 
> help pay for my medication:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> ask the pins questions!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: fluff with a brief interruption where red has a bad time at work


	25. Relish This Peace While You Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time, on The Itch: uuuuuuh we did some stuff i guess? we talked things out with red and edge and found where we stand with them. which is on the friend ship. then we went to a gang meeting with Boss and the other Pins, where you were offered a very important position.
> 
> my laptop screen cracked, and has been slowly falling to pieces for a while now. like, literal pieces keep flaking off. help me be a little less worried and maybe buy me a coffee?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> or distract me by asking skeleton questions on my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

The backyard was pretty big. The pool? Also large. You had finally gotten the tarp pulled back, and you gazed into the water. The last owners must have really taken care of this. It was clean and beautiful, and the weather was perfect for it. The light and shadows cast by the rippling water played across the cream and blue tiles, and the smell of chlorine permeated the air. You had come out here with the intention of cooling yourself off after spending so much time thinking about what happened at the pins meeting, and now that determination was renewed. You didn’t have a bathing suit. The past year or so when you had showed up in Ebott with nothing, you hadn’t had any need for one. But hey, you didn’t need one now either. You had on a stained oversized t-shirt, short cotton shorts, old panties and no bra. It would do.

 

You dove into the deep end of the fancy pool.

 

Papyrus was startled from his battle scenarios by the sound of a loud splash, apparently from outside. He had seen the pool, but it had been covered. Did that not mean it was closed? Looking out the window, he saw y/n in the pool, floating on the surface of the water and with her hair floating around her like a halo. Like some sort of beautiful water angel. He found himself jumping out of the window to join her without truly thinking about it, landing with a quick roll on the grass near the pool.

 

“Hey Paps,” you greeted lazily from the water. “Wanna take a swim with me?”

 

“Unfortunately, skeletons are not known for their buoyancy! I would, however, enjoy your company from here.” he sat at the edge of the pool, dipping his legs into the water and splashing gently.

 

You hummed thoughtfully. “We should check the shed over there for pool toys. I don’t think the couple from before had a kid, but they might have inner tubes or something if you wanna join me on the water.”

  
  
  


Sans snapped awake at the sound of screams, but was quickly calmed when he noticed they were screams of laughter. After a very one-sided debate with gravity, he pulled himself to his feet to figure out what was going on. Out by the pool, Papyrus and y/n were chasing each other around with… water guns. y/n squealed and dove behind a lawn chair, narrowly avoiding a blast of water from Papyrus’s super soaker. You dashed from your cover, giggling like mad as you further drenched your skeletal opponent. Sans chuckled, and decided to go out and watch. Just in case something happened. The water guns didn’t make him nervous or anything. That would be stupid. It was just water. Just water, just two friends having fun. y/n wasn’t dangerous. y/n had scared off anyone that tried to harass the brothers, even if she was definitely hiding something. And who knows, maybe there would be a chance to apologize for the… incident at the store the other day.

 

No one saw Sans at first as he walked over to the pool. They didn’t notice him spot one of the water guns. They were too late as he filled it up with pool water and suddenly you were soaked anew. You turned slowly, eyes wide in surprise, to find Sans grinning at you with his new weapon.

 

“what’s wrong pal? you look like someone  _ rained  _ on your parade.”

 

You looked at Papyrus, and he nodded. You both shot your water guns at Sans.

 

[MISS]

 

“aw, you look  _ sopping  _ mad.” he was fast! He never moved more than a slow shuffle, so seeing him sidestep your attack so easily was definitely a surprise. And thus began the chase, as you and Papyrus ran around, attempting to corner Sans while he effectively dodged, soaking the both of you again and again. Sometimes he was so fast you didn’t even see him move, and you had to switch your strategy to more dodging.

 

“you’re dodging too now, y/n? come on, hit me  _ wet  _ your best shot,” Sans teased, looking around to try and figure out where you were hiding.

 

You snuck up behind him while he was focused on his brother, but he dodged again at the last minute. You must not have been as sneaky as you thought. “You can’t dodge forever, Sans!” you called out as he doused you again. “You’re gonna get soaked eventually! Humans are endurance hunters, after all.” you ducked behind another decorative shrub, deciding to try and sneak up on him again.

 

“endurance hunters, huh?” Sans dodged another shot from Papyrus, who seemed to not want to give up his headstrong approach.

 

He spotted you and dashed before you could douse him. “It means,” you started as you decided to just chase him for a while, “we don’t give up easily.” you tried again to flank him with Papyrus, but it wasn’t working. Was Sans sweating, though? 

 

Come to think of it, Sans could recall reading something about that. A horse could outrun a human, but only for a short distance. A horse would tire long before a human, and they could outwalk pretty much anything. It was how they hunted… what was it, mammoths or something? Prey could run… or dodge forever, but humans… they never tire. They never give up. Why won’t they just give up? They were just going to reset anyway. He can’t dodge forever. Can’t run forever. Dust. so much dust... 

 

Finally, your teamwork paid off, and Sans was trapped in a corner of the fence.

 

Suddenly Sans was gone, and your water guns merely doused the fence.

 

“NYEH! Sans! That’s against the spirit of the game!” Papyrus protested.

 

“sorry bro,” you spun around to find Sans back near the entry to the house. Had he…? “just remembered, i have some things to do at the lab. see you two later.”

 

“WHAT IS ALL THE RUCKUS BACK HERE?” Edge slammed open the porch door, nearly walking right into Sans.

 

“perfect timing. i’m leaving it up to you now.” Sans shoved the super soaker into Edge’s hands before sauntering into the house.

 

“AND WHAT EXACTLY IS-”

 

You interrupt Edge’s question with a direct shot to the chest. You’re grinning widely as he looks in shock down to his dripping shirt, and then up at you. But he glowers at you and you begin to question what kind of enemy you’ve just made.

 

Edge turns out to be very good at water gun fights.

 

You were having so much fun that you didn’t bother to check your phone until hours after you missed a call from Byrd.

  
  
  


Red is flipping back and forth between the notes of several scientists, plotting the data to look for correlations between the different universes that could have led to the convergence of their timelines. He still found nothing solid, as the data entry was a tedious and time consuming task. A lot of it had already been done, but only for the Tale and Swap clans. Almost a year, and the Fell Clan’s data was still not completely integrated. Normally interns would do the simple data entry, but since they were being slow, Red figured he’d do some himself. Plus, he was avoiding…

 

“Sans. it has been weeks since you’ve assisted me in regards to the… special project Fell Clan is supposed to be heading. Get in here and work with me.” Gaster regarded him coldly from his substantially taller height, towering at least three feet taller than Red even when both were standing.

 

“i go by red now, gaster,” Sans glowered at the man, but still had trouble disrespecting him to his face. Even if, technically, monsters weren’t allowed to dust each other now. “don’ wanna get confused with classic when he’s around, ya know?”

 

Gaster sneered. “I still disapprove of these ridiculous nicknames. If you don’t want to be confused, then simply pick a proper name to change to. A color is hardly a proper name for a skeleton.” he looked over the screens that Red was working on. “Leave the data entry to the interns. Come work with me on the blue machine.”

 

Red leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. “i think i’m gonna keep doing this instead. or, maybe i’ll go do soul shit with alphys and sakura. you have fun with your toys.”

 

“Fine, play your games until you’re ready to work on an actually challenging project. You’ll get bored soon. And if it’s not soon enough, i’ll get the king to put some pressure on you.” Gaster’s eyes flashed dangerously.

 

“getting the king to fight your battles for you? getting soft in your old age.” Red had made a mistake, but he didn’t realize until it was too late. Suddenly Red was pinned against the wall of the lab, ghostly white hands with holes in their palms at his arms, legs, and neck. The lights of the lab flickered off, and he heard the click of a door locking. Red began to sweat.

 

“You would be wise not to test me, son.” Gaster hissed, his fractured face mere inches from Red. he pulled back and composed himself, his voice returning to calm. The hands on Red tightened. “I am trying to abide by the new rules imposed on us by these… other monsters. I find it easier to keep away from being labeled as ‘trouble’ so soon on the surface. There is much i want to do here, after all.” he began pacing, not even bothering to look at his captive. He gave a long-suffering sigh. “I am surrounded by imbeciles, or worse, those who have so much potential…” His eye lights flared briefly. “And yet refuse to live up to it. Flawed beings, truly. But perhaps, in time, such thoughts can be… corrected.” Finally, he turned to face the nervous skeleton stuck to the wall. “I want you to understand something. No matter what they tell you here, you are nothing. Hardly even a true monster.” His voice held no malice, no anger, no emotion whatsoever. It was as if he were saying the sky is blue, or water is wet. Fact. “you are a resource. You receive your paycheck, and spend it on your filthy slop, or your experiments with human whores, or whatever you like. But, recently you have not been earning it. So, Sans.” He dropped the skeleton and the lights flickered back on. The door unlocked. “Do try to be useful. You have an hour to play with your data entry before i expect you in my section of the lab.” With that, he turned, lab coat swishing behind him, and strode out of the lab.

 

Red took deep breaths that he didn’t really need. Asgore’s beard, he had forgotten what it felt like to go against Gaster. He shakily pulled himself to his feet, fixing his clothes back in place. It was Classic’s fucking fault, talking back to Gaster like there weren’t any consequences, giving Red delusions of fuckin’ grandeur. Well, maybe Classic didn’t have to face any consequences, but not all skeletons were created equal, were they? Red jumped as Riyu entered the lab. She wasted no time in glaring at him.

 

“Still can’t bother to adhere to uniform?” She sneered at his white lab coat that hung on the back of his chair. 

 

He hadn’t bothered wearing it for weeks. He hated the damn thing. “still can’t bother to not be a bitch?” well, if sunshine here was around for the long haul, as indicated by the snacks she brought, he might as well go join Gaster. He gathered the necessary notes, and started towards the door, but stopped.

 

He put on his lab coat.

  
  
  


Papyrus and Edge played with you by the pool until you were all soaked and worn out. Well,  _ you  _ were worn out. These guys never seemed low on energy. You changed into dry clothes and threw yourself limply onto the couch, watching Netflix and snacking for a while. Papyrus joined you for Voltron, and Edge just happened to have cleaning to do in the living room. At least, that was his excuse until you offered to restart the series for him. Apparently that was incentive enough to admit that maybe the show didn’t look terrible. He really was just a big softie. He hadn’t brought up his ‘blackmail material’ since the last time.

 

Papyrus brought popcorn into the seating area, and when he sat down you snuggled against him to watch, as had become habit when sharing shows with Papyrus or Blue. you kept a blanket between you, mostly because you liked to snuggle up and partially because you wanted to respect Papyrus’s sense of propriety. His bones hummed with a comfortable warmth, and you tried to lean more against him as you reached for a handful of popcorn.

 

“y/n, how many snacks have you partaken in between meals?” Papyrus asked critically.

 

“Dunno.” you reached for another handful. “I prefer to snack instead of eat lunch.”

 

“THAT IS BOTH SLOTHFUL AND UNHEALTHY,” Edge proclaimed. He had set up camp in the same couch as you and Paps, but in the opposite corner, pressed up against the armrest. There was about a foot of space between you.

 

“Eeedge, don’t yell so loud when the show is on,” you complained.

 

“I wasn’t yelling,” he said rather loudly, crossing his arms.

 

“It’s alright Edge. Even I, the great Papyrus, had trouble getting used to speaking at a volume more comfortable for humans! Once i learned to do so, meetings with the human government and other interactions became far smoother somehow!” Papyrus ‘nyeh’d happily and threw some popcorn into his own mouth.

 

“You used to yell all the time?” You were a bit surprised. Polite and considerate Papyrus?

 

“Well, in the underground no one ever told me i was too loud! So i never even realized i was yelling, except for when i was trying to yell!” Papyrus looked down, a bit self conscious. “I still get… loud, sometimes. When i’m not paying attention.”

 

“HA! Humans must simply have weak ears,” Edge says. Was he… trying to comfort Papyrus? Turning to face him, you see his eyes glued to the television screen, very pointedly not looking at either of you.

 

You knew he was a big softie. “Hey,” you held out the bowl of popcorn to him, “want some popcorn?”

 

He looked dubiously at the snack, before reaching out to take a single kernel. After popping it in his mouth, his eyes lit up and he took the bowl.

 

“Manners!” Papyrus scolded.

 

“You’ve never had popcorn before,” you stated with some wonder. Well, he had only been on the surface a year, you supposed. “You’ve… shit, we have to take you shopping. There’s probably a ton of good stuff you haven’t had before.” 

 

Papyrus grumbled about language, and Edge just stared at you searchingly. You all shifted your attention back to the show for a while, until you reached over to grab some popcorn from Edge. he moved the bowl out of your reach. You faced him, glaring, and reached again. He smirked, the bastard, and moved the bowl further away, pointedly eating a handful himself.

 

Oh, is that how he wants to play?

 

You slip out of the blankets and scooch up to him on his side of the couch. He narrowed his eyes as you slipped closer, holding the bowl away. You batted your lashes flirtatiously. As his face changed to show confusion, you slipped onto his lap, causing him to freeze up as his eye sockets widened, realization dawning. Papyrus remained oblivious, eyes fixed on the screen, as you sat on the femurs of the skeleton before you, feigning disinterest in the popcorn bowl that was slowly moving closer as Edge tried to figure out what to do. 

 

You were straddling him. You were on his lap, batting those cute little human eyes up at him as if you’d never beaten a man half to death for daring to threaten someone close to you. Edge’s mind was racing with what to do in this situation. He would not be played with in this manner! He would be the one doing the playing. He moved one hand to rest on your hip, and with the other he took a piece of popcorn and held it to your mouth.

 

The moron was trying to feed you? Your face flushed in… resentment? Offense? You’re not quite sure, it’s a feeling you can’t quite place. Thankfully, in his foolishness, he had released the popcorn bowl! In a quick movement, you grabbed the bowl and all but dove back to Papyrus’s side, startling the sweet skeleton a bit. Edge glared at you, and ate the popcorn himself. You simply blinked at him innocently.

  
  
  


Blue got home just as dinner began. Everyone but Sans was already seated around the table as you and Papyrus served dinner.

 

You sat and were about to dig into your alfredo before you stopped. “Sans isn’t back yet?”

 

Papyrus frowned. “Unfortunately, i received a text message saying that he would be staying late at the lab today.”

 

“huh,” Red commented between slurping his noodles. “didn’t see him when i was leaving. he head out recently or something?” Edge smacked his head after Red gave an especially loud slurp of noodles. You briefly wondered about the logistics of skeletons slurping anything.

 

“Papy!” Blue scolded, swiping a bottle of beer that Stretch was about to open. “What’s this for?”

 

“fired,” was the one word explanation before he snatched the bottle back and opened it with his teeth, which Red chuckled at. Blue frowned but made no move to confiscate the beverage again.

 

The talk of work reminded you of your own job. At the meeting, you had been told to come back to work at the casino, and to start going to Anny’s fights again. You also knew that with that, you’d start getting messages whenever you were needed for other activities as well. Boss warned you that there were a few deals coming up when he might ask for a guard, and there was already a request to accompany a shipment sometime next week. It might end up being multi-day, in which case you’d need to think of a good excuse for your roommates. Lisa hadn’t cared, but with the way Blue had been monitoring your comings and goings recently, you could tell that he and the others definitely cared. It was kind of… sweet. It made you feel… well, something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha wasn't that a fun stress free day for everyone hoo boy what an exceptionally good time we all had today! no threats lies or panic attacks here in the multiverse ha ha only friendly water gun fights and movie watching!
> 
> buy poor red a coffee maybe:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> tell gaster off on my tumblr:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: it gets worse before it gets... well, even worse, honestly. humans suck.


	26. Well, People Are Assholes but We Have a Nice Walk With Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeeyy we're doing the fast paced updates again. if you're lucky, you get one tomorrow, too. i'm writing chapter 29 right now.
> 
> last time on The Itch: uuuuh we had some fluff. Gaster bullied Red at work. We are being considered for the assassins pin of Ushravas. We're on good terms with everyone in the house! Back to health, maybe we'll have that fight with Edge soon? we know Reap was kidnapped, along with other amalgamates, but that's the extent of our information. both Cherry and Widow are on the look out for leads.
> 
> wanna help me when i go shopping at costco tomorrow? buy me a coffee!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna remind Red that he's a real person, with feelings? write him a love poem and send it to my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You were woken early the next morning by a scream. You were on your feet immediately, and were almost bowled over when you stepped out of your door and Blue ran straight into you. He was… crying? Had the scream been his? Your eyes narrowed, and you forced him to meet your eyes.

 

“Blue. What happened? Did someone hurt you?” you needed answers. You needed to know who was going to pay for making your Blue cry.

 

Blue tried to pull himself together. The others were already starting to wake up and poke their heads out of their rooms, and Stretch was by his side in seconds. “The front porch…” much as he tried, he still couldn’t form a true sentence. “Dust…” he broke anew into sobs, and as Stretch pulled Blue into a brotherly embrace, you ran down the stairs.

 

Sans was already at the door. Of course he was, he was the only one with a room downstairs. The others, minus the Swap brothers, were close behind you. You peeked around Sans, who appeared frozen, to see what had been spread on your front porch. Put in piles to form letters, piles of gray dust spelled out ‘S C U M’. your hands formed into fists. Someone had… they had…

 

A hand was placed on your shoulder, and your head whipped around to see Red, his right eyelight gone and his left a flaming red orb. “it’s not real dust sweetheart. trust me, i’ve seen enough of it.” Your mind still raged, aching to punish. “try and calm down sweetheart.” His voice was getting through to you, but just barely. It was a calm, comforting tone, like the one he had used that night, in the park. “there’s nothing you can do right now. you should go see the runt. He could probably use a hug or something.”

 

“No.” it came out of your mouth as a growl. “I can find who did this. I can- i can knock on all their doors until someone comes out. Make them come out. Make them CONFESS. MAKE THEM APOLOGIZE!” you tried to move forward, but now Red’s arms were wrapped around you, keeping you from leaving the house. 

 

“y/n…” Papyrus tried to calm you, but he was obviously affected as well. But then Sans vanished, and after glancing between you and his brother’s room, Papyrus went to check on his brother.

 

Now Red’s arms were the only things keeping you from dashing out the door to begin unleashing hell on these- these ANIMALS. Maybe they’d get the message if you left corpses on their doorsteps, huh? Maybe they’d like that!

 

“Sweetheart, please,” Red growled as he fought to bring you into the house. “You can’t do that.” do what? Oh. you had been speaking your thoughts aloud. You didn’t care. You were seeing red, and you wanted to HURT someone.

 

“GIVE HER TO ME, BROTHER.” You were lifted into the air by a different set of arms. “GET THE DOOR. WE CAN CLEAN THAT UP LATER.” you fought your captor, but he was incredibly strong, and with your feet off the ground, you didn’t have much you could do unless you wanted to hurt him. You settled for screaming in anger and flailing about. Edge carried you upstairs to your room and threw you on your bed. “IF YOU MUST HAVE A TANTRUM, DO IT HERE WHERE YOU WON’T DAMAGE THE NEIGHBORHOOD’S OPINION OF THE REST OF US.”

 

That got you to calm down enough to control yourself. But you didn’t have to like it. You glared at Edge, but he just scoffed and left. Your eyes raked over the room for something to break. You had to do something, or hurt someone, or… do anything but just SIT THERE and let the people that did  _ that  _ sit back and laugh.

 

“you seem pretty upset there, kid.” your glare returned to the doorway, where Sans casually stood with his hands in his pockets. But he wasn’t looking at you, his gaze distant and his ever-present grin tight. He spared you a glance after a moment, but quickly looked away. “whoa. if looks could kill.” he chuckled mirthlessly.

 

“How can i not be upset,” you spat out, turning your glare to the wall as if you could see through it to the neighbors beyond, “when someone does- when they think they can get away with- this is my house!” you get off the bed to pace the floor as Sans continued to watch you from the doorway. “THIS IS MY HOUSE!” you yell in rage, “and, and anyone that lives here, is under MY PROTECTION. MY RESPONSIBILITY. And someone thinks they can harass you guys? Oh no, you’re MY FRIENDS, MY MONSTERS, AND ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN HURT YOU IS IN FOR A DAMN ROUGH AWAKENING!” with no clear outlet, you just take the nearest thing-you kick your mattress off your bed. You grab pillows, blankets, clothes, trying to restrain yourself from the breakables, and throw them on the floor.

 

Sans watches, letting you trash your room. Finally, you’re breathing heavily slightly worn out, but even with your body slowly exhausting, your anger. Just. won’t die. Down. you turn to Sans, who looks at you with concern, but has stood unmoving in the doorway this whole time. 

 

“Move. I need to go out.”

 

Again with that humorless laugh, and a sad smile. “y’see kid, you seem a bit unstable right now.” you growl at him, but he only steps closer, spreading his hands in a non-threatening gesture. It’s amazing how expressive his face can be; his grin is tight and strained, and the shape of his eye sockets are begging you to stop and consider your actions. “bein’ the responsible guy that i am, can’t let ya loose on society like that. you could hurt someone.”

 

“That’s kind of the point. Hurting someone. Preferably whoever did this.”

 

“and how do you figure you’re going to find them? they didn’t exactly leave their contact information. you need to cool off, kid.” his words make sense, but you don’t want sense right now. You want violence. Something to sate this hunger.

 

And so you growl again. “Move.”

 

“stars classic, you’re shit at this!” Suddenly Sans is pushed out of the room as Red comes in and slams the door before the other skeleton can protest. “hey,” he greets you gruffly. “c’mere. we’re going to the park.”

 

You just narrow your eyes at him.

 

He rolled his eye lights. “lemme see yer hand, kay?” you make no move to comply. “I’ll… ya do this for me, and i owe ya a milkshake or something, alright? no tricks.” hesitantly, you held out your hand. He grinned his shark-tooth grin. “so this might feel a bit weird.”

 

“What might-”

 

The world fell away around you. Before you could blink, it was back, but you felt a ringing in your head and nausea in your gut. Red was still holding your hand, watching you with concern as you stumbled.

 

“you alright, doll?”

 

“What the FUCK.” What was that? It had felt so weird, like one of those free fall rides at the fair, but also kind of like spinning around too much? If you had a weaker constitution, you might have vomited. Then you noticed something. You were standing on grass. Your head whipped up to look around, which increased that sense of vertigo, but you weren’t inside anymore. You were outside. The house was nowhere in sight. “Where’s the house?”

 

“sorry. ‘s easier when you’re walking, but i figured… eh, nevermind.” he now sounded far less concerned, and far more amused. “we’re not at the house anymore. we’re at the park. thought it might help ya calm down, and keep us out of trouble.”

 

It was true. You were in the park. How about that. Once more, though, what the FUCK. “You can teleport?” you spun on him accusingly. “That is crazy important information. Shit. We teleported. We were in one place and now we’re in another. Fuck. that’s crazy.”

 

Red chuckled, definitely amused now. “magic, babe.” he winked. “i have it in more places than the bedroom.”

 

You snorted. “Apparently. Damn. Can you just do that, whenever?”

 

“pretty much.” he grinned proudly, and shoved his free hand in his pocket. His other hand still held yours. You were finding you didn’t mind. “wanna walk around or something?”

 

You did. You walked around the park, watching the other humans and monsters in the area, making rude jokes about some of the groups. Red told you puns that had you snickering. You really were calming down. You were grateful to Red for doing this. If you had gone out… all you would have done is cause more problems. But now you were thinking things through properly. Holding hands kept you grounded. It probably looked like you were a couple, but at this point you didn’t care. He didn’t seem to care either, as he made no move to let go. It was nice. Not exactly peaceful, but… nice.

 

“Hey, Red?”

 

“‘sup doll?”

 

“For one, don’t call me doll. Feels weird. Two, how did you know to bring me here?”

 

“well, sweetheart,” he waggled his browbones at you and snickered when you lightly punched his shoulder, “talkin’ to ya wasn’t calming you down. and with a soul of bravery, ya weren’t likely to think things through properly before raisin’ hell.”

 

“I meant taking me to the park, specifically. Soul of bravery though, huh? What makes you think that?” you tease. You know you’re brave, but at this point you’re fishing for compliments. Why are you doing that? Damn, it really has been a while since you made friends outside the gang.

 

“it’s the color of your soul.”

 

“The color?” your brows scrunch up.

 

“yeah. ‘s orange, for bravery.” he’s staring at you now, at the middle of your chest, right around your breastbone, but not where guys normally gawk at girls. “real bright, too. a strong Soul.”

 

“You can… see it?”

 

He paused. “yeah? i mean, that’s common knowledge, we told you humans ‘bout that a while ago. your soul’s right… there.” he gently taps a claw to the middle of your chest, where he had been staring.

 

You had trouble believing this. Thinking back on it, you kind of remember something about monsters and souls? But you thought it was all some kind of metaphor. Not like an actual soul, in your actual body. “It’s an actual thing you can see? With your special monster vision?” you fail to keep the sarcasm out of your voice.

 

“yeah, i can,” he sounds kind of defensive now. “It’s weird that you humans can’t see souls. like, how do you tell what’s alive and shit from what’s not?”

 

“Uh, if it walks and talks it’s alive? You just know?”

 

He looks over your face before a sinister grin takes over his skull. “wanna see your soul?”

 

“Well, duh, but i don’t have your special monster eyes or whatever?”

 

“ya can if i bring it out. ’s not dangerous or nothin’. but i won’t do it for free.” You raise a brow as his eyes looked over your body completely now. “ya gotta wear a dress.”

 

“Are you kidding me?”

 

“nope. ya never wear ‘em. if ya put one on when we go home, i’ll show ya yer soul.”

 

You weren’t really sure what to think of that. He wanted to see you in a dress? That really wasn’t a lot to ask for, in exchange for getting to see your alleged soul. But why would he want to see you in a dress? Was he… well, he did ask you out on a date… but if he did, that makes Blue, him, maybe Papyrus, maybe Stretch… fuck it, that was too confusing to think about. “I would say yes, but i don’t actually own a dress right now.”

 

“If you don’t like dresses, i’ll consider in the nude also acceptable,” he said with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

 

You playfully shoved him again. “I’m serious though, i don’t have any dresses. Never needed them.”

 

“sweetheart, you have got to be kidding me.” he had stopped now, searching for something in your eyes. Finding it, his expression changed to shock. “yer serious. stars, i thought all girls owned at least one dress.”

 

“Sounds kind of sexist.” you smirked at him.

 

“heh, damn, maybe it is. still, hmm… i’ll take a kiss instead?” his eyelights were now trained on your lips. “and none of that chaste shit like i heard about from stretch. i’m talkin’ an actual kiss.” He licked at his teeth with his glowing red tongue, and you broke eye contact. That was… maybe turning you on a little? Just a little. 

 

You weren’t sure when it happened, but now you were walking around your own neighborhood, miles from Tale Park. he must have used his magic at some point, and it made you uneasy that you hadn’t noticed.

 

“What is it with you guys and wanting kisses? Are you guys… flirting with me or something?”

 

Red stopped, and you ran into him. He whirled to face you. “what?! stars, doll, everyone in the damn house is flirting with you! ‘cept maybe sans, and even that i’m not sure of!”

 

You were startled by his surprise, and crossed your arms defensively. “Hey, how was i supposed to know! I figured Blue probably liked me, but how was i supposed to know what’s, like, flirting, and what’s a culture thing? I’ve pretty much only hung out with Reap when it comes to monsters, and he definitely didn’t flirt with me!”

 

“Is there a human culture thing where kissing isn’t flirting?!” red was blushing now, his cheekbones softly glowing red.

 

“Yes!”

 

“... oh.” his face was even redder now as he turtled into his jacket a bit. “how the fuck are we supposed to know somethin’ like that?”

 

“I don’t know!” you were not blushing. Not at all. You were totally cool. People had crushes on you all the time. You were hot, and confident, and not at all embarassed that your roommates might like you oh shit how do you even deal with that.

 

The front porch was clear of the hateful message; Papyrus or someone must have cleaned it. You walked up to your room, groaning when the light indicating a new text message blinked on your phone, which was still plugged into the charger. Next time a skeleton tried to kidnap you, you would insist on bringing your phone.

 

“so, ya wanna see your soul or not?” Red’s voice was gruff, reminding you he was there, and had followed you into your room because you hadn’t accepted his new offer yet.

 

But all thoughts of Souls were washed away as you checked your messages.

 

**1 missed call from: Widow**

 

**2 new text messages**

 

**Widow: dearie, your black van has been spotted lurking outside a monster’s home in Tale district. (3 images attached)**

 

**Widow: here’s the address, do tell me if it ended up being of use.**

 

“Sorry Red, something came up. We’ll have to do Soul stuff another time,” you said offhandedly as you rushed to grab your bag and leave the house to the address, not noticing how Red almost choked when you said ‘soul stuff’. It was of lesser importance; you finally had a clear lead, and the information was from less than an hour ago. You’d be skipping lunch, but you didn’t care.

 

Time to get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then. wonder what all that's about. hm.
> 
> consider... maybe... buy a drink?!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> send me a three page essay on what you like about this story thru my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: oof, ouch, whoops


	27. Lacking in Patience Has Severe Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Costco is life. you can get a 30can pack of sode for $15?! yes please.
> 
> anyway, we're almost caught up, since this is chapter 27 and im in the middle of writing chapter 29. 28 will post around next wednesday. look forward to it! your kudos and comments give me life!
> 
> last time in The Itch: fuck if i know. i just write this shit. oh yeah, we learned we have a brave soul, after someone left some harassment on our doorstep. we are still thinking over the offer to become a pin and the official assassin of Ushravas. there was also some flirting from skeletons.
> 
> wanna help me buy a cake from costco?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> like the story? wanna know more? wanna know me? talk to me on tumblr! i love constant attention!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You take your motorcycle to the address, and you realize how long it has been since you were in the monster district. Not that long, really, but long enough for your unhappiness to bubble up when you see the disparities. Everything is grimier than your new barbie dreamhouse; there are few humans about, and any human not in a group of monsters is regarded with some level of caution or fear. Currently, you’re on the road and not getting a lot of looks, and you use that to intentionally pass the given address at first. You see the black van, with a few bumper stickers including one of a stick figure family slapped on, probably to make it less conspicuous. It doesn’t really work all that well. Then again, you’re a human that grew up with stories about avoiding people in vans, especially black or white vans. Monsters never had those stories growing up. A car is just a car to them, lacking the same connotations.

 

You park your bike further away, and try to find a good place to spy on the van for a bit. You end up hiding behind a conveniently shaped bush across the street in time to see some sort of snowflake-shaped bird monster in a tie leave the house, walking away down the street. He doesn’t look goopy, so you guess he’s not an amalgamate. Sure enough, the van ignores him as he walks right by it. You really wish you had heat vision goggles, or some other kind of cool technology to help you figure out what those people in the van were doing. Maybe there was some sort of magic that could help you do that. You should ask Blue. he would probably know. Or Papyrus. Wait, actually, Red would be best. He worked with science shit, right? And you felt close enough to him to ask. Man, why had you never asked Reap about this?!

 

Oh.

 

You had gone to Reap to talk about yourself, and hadn’t listened to him much. He never talked about much anyway, definitely not magic and souls. He much preferred to listen, and talk about your life. Was it because he was an amalgamate, an oddity among monsters? Was he ashamed? Were you being too selfish? Damn, now you felt kinda guilty. 

 

…

 

This is boring. Maybe you can just go to the van and beat up whoever is there? But you don’t know how many people they have. And if they have weapons. You really don’t wanna get shot again. Getting shot sucked.

 

…

 

But waiting  _ really _ sucks. like, a lot.

 

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? You’re young, and strong again, and you have friends with healing magic. It can’t go that badly. You’ll just be cautious.

 

With that thought, you sneak away before approaching from the opposite direction. This place really was dirty. Tale district had been a sort of slum even before the monsters entered it, and so while the buildings were originally built for humans, they were all plastic siding and cracked sidewalks; garbage-ridden streets and chain link fences. The monsters living here had actually improved it somewhat, as they picked up litter and tried to keep the rampant weeds in check. But they could only do so much. You approached the van casually, as if you just happened to be walking through the neighborhood, and as you neared it you tried to listen for how many were inside. If you had a good grasp on their numbers, maybe you could attack and surprise them.

 

Unfortunately, you were the one surprised.

 

Your ears registered some yelling from the vehicle as you drew level with it. There was a screech of metal and tires. There was a crunch. There was a lot of pain. Wow. that pain was just all over. More screeching tires. The van had driven away. Everything hurt. You were on the ground? Moving was really hard. People on the street were yelling. There were a lot of monsters suddenly crowded around you. Shit, they ran you over, didn’t they. Damn. the monsters were saying something, but it was hard to focus. You think you were bleeding? You desperately tell them not to take you to the hospital. You want Anny to look at you first. Or Boss. or Blue.

 

They call an ambulance. You pass out.

  
  
  


The smell hits you first. Alcohol, old people, and chemicals. You open your eyes and sure enough, you’re in a hospital bed. Then the pain… doesn’t hit you. There’s only a dull ache. Huh. must not have been as bad as you thought. You feel pretty sluggish, though.

 

“About time, y/n,” comes a somewhat amused voice.

 

“Shit, she’s awake?” turning your head to the side, you see Anny come through the curtains that give your bedside some privacy. He looks really, really angry, his handsome features contorted, his hair messy and his form sweaty. You notice the curtains surround your bed, a number of machines, and three chairs. Ah. you have an IV in you.

 

“Sure is,” Boss answers him, sounding and looking as nonplussed as usual. “So you wanna tell us what you remember?” they chirp. Their voice takes on a high pitch that matches the machines around you.

 

Oh no. their voice got chirpy. They’re  _ furious _ . Boss is a very controlled person. In their position, they have to be. They have to be calm, powerful, and in control. Their cool demeanor made it that much easier to frustrate others into talking, that much harder to see any tic or tells. But he last time their voice had been chipper like that, Boss had led a raid on a group that had been running fights between animals and immigrants. Boss doesn’t usually join those kinds of encounters. It had been an absolute bloodbath, the details of which were seared into your mind. It had been the first time you killed. When Boss had  _ made  _ you kill.

 

Wary of having their attention on you when they were so dangerously angry, you tried to choose your words carefully, working through the fog in your head. Were you on painkillers? “Wazzz lookin for Reap… black car…? fuck... Daaaaamn...” Wow, you were especially eloquent on painkillers.

 

“Hmm.” 

 

Anny was nervous too. He had known Boss for too long not to notice their mood, but he seemed to be coping by focusing on his own anger. “So, give us the details so we can get to work.” Anny is definitely tense, his emotions much more evident than his companion’s.

 

Boss waved their hand dismissively. “Cherry already took care of it. They should be ready by the time we get back. I just wanted to make sure that my favorite fighter was fine.” they chuckled darkly. “Sorry y/n, but we sent all your past messages to Cherry in case something could help us catch the car faster.” they didn’t sound sorry. They reached into their bag and pulled out… a monster candy? Huh. “Take this and Anny will stay with you. I’ll send you pictures later.”

 

“Pishures of wha-!” your question was interrupted as Boss shoved the candy in your mouth and you tried not to choke on it. When you finished coughing and looked up, Boss was gone and Anny was pacing nervously. As you eat the non-licorice candy, you don’t feel the normal relief, just a nice cool feeling that runs through your body for a few seconds. Probably because you were on some heavy painkillers. What were you trying to heal, anyway? “Anny. Anny. Annyyyyyy. Whasha damage?”

 

He pauses in his fidgeting. “Well, you broke both your femurs.” hm. Come to think of it, there is kind of an ache in your legs. “Some ribs too. Your collarbone apparently cut through to show. You lost a lot of blood, but that’s the least of your worries. You hit your head on blacktop, so you have a concussion, but the doctors say it’s not too bad.” Made sense. All those places did kind of hurt. “I’m gonna stay here with you until you’re ready to go home. You’ll be staying with me for now, until we can learn more about the threat to you. Just tell me if you need anything.”

 

You did need something. There was something really important, and you needed it now. What the fuck was it, though? Oh! That’s right. “Annyyyyy. Need… shkeltons!”

 

He looks blankly at you for a second, then chuckles. His chuckles increase to full on laughter, and then he’s in a chair, hunched over and clutching at his sides, howling with laughter. “Oh man, i can’t even… you broke so many bones, but i think if each of your roommates donated one of theirs, you’d be fine!” he falls into another laughing fit. “You don’t need skeleton roommates, you need a new skeleton!”

 

You frown. This is a very serious request. How can you protect your skeleton friends while you’re stuck in a gross smelling hospital? You have to bring them here. You need to communicate with Anny the importance of bringing the skeletons here. “Need ‘em now!” is what comes out, to which he collapses into giggling heap.

 

“Never heard you sound so much like a damn kid!” he chortles. “Shit. this is good for the soul after all the worry you put us through.”

 

He doesn’t get it. You need better words! You start crying instead.

 

“Fuck! Wait, wait, i’m calling them, i’m calling!” you can’t stop crying now though, even though you don’t get why you even started? Anny took your phone and presumably called one of the skeletons, as he’s now talking about your condition using dumb medical words like ‘stable’, ‘clavicle’, and ‘morphine’. Oh, he’s yelling now. You can’t really focus on what he’s saying though. You’re tired as shit. You’ve been awake forever.

  
  
  


You awake to a lot of yelling and shushing, more yelling, maybe someone calling for security, and then you’re asleep again.

 

Again, more yelling, but quieter now, and the shushing seems to get through. There’s a cool feeling on your legs, now your chest, now your neck, your head, and finally your arms. It feels really good. So good that you fall asleep again without bothering to open your eyes.

 

Ugh. they’re too loud. Why can’t they let you sleep? You’re super tired. You haven’t slept for nearly long enough. They’re shouting again. You try to tell them to quiet down, but it comes out as a quiet wordless murmur. If anything, this causes them to get louder, and then someone is picking you up. Machines are yelling too now. And then they stop, and you feel kinda sick. So you start crying again.

 

“shit, why’s she cryin’?”

 

“Papyrus, put her on the bed!”

 

“i’m gonna get some golden flower tea started. Someone grab her some monster food.”

 

“I think I will do another round of healing, in case it is the pain.”

 

“YOU IMPLY THAT MY HEALING WAS NOT ENOUGH?!”

 

“for star’s sake edge, keep your voice down!”

 

You finally manage the herculean task of opening your eyes. You’re back home, in your room, lying in bed, with several skeletons. Papyrus and Blue are hovering over you, the latter wringing his hands and the former reaching out, a faint green glow around his red gloves. He pauses, though, as your eyes open and your crying quiets. Sans and Red are glaring at each other, with Edge off in a corner pretending not to glance at you. They all quiet down when they realize you’re awake and paying attention.

 

You’re so happy to be out of the hospital that you start crying again. “I love you guys so muuuuuch!” they all crowd around you, their faces lighting up in different colored blushes, and you attempt to open your arms and hug them all. Unfortunately, your arms are weak for some reason and can barely raise a foot from the bed. You whine in complaint. “Everyone hugs!” you demand.

 

“She is probably on heavy pain medication from the hospital-” Papyrus tries to explain, but Red is already crawling onto the queen sized bed.

 

“said she wants a hug, so she’s gettin’ a hug,” red said with a smirk as he wrapped himself around you. 

 

You managed to snuggle a bit closer to him as the fog became easier to work through. He snuggled right back, and you could hear him purr. “Mmm, good…” you mumble, completely missing the scandalized and jealous looks of the others.

 

“tea’s done…” Stretch returns to the room with a steaming mug, but stops abruptly at the scene. “um, what’s going on?”

 

“Cuddles!” you firmly proclaim. “You too.” you stare him down, as if daring him to defy you.

 

“whatever you say, honey. But you have to try and drink some of this first.” Stretch moved to the side opposite Red and propped you into more of a sitting position against the pillows, helping you sip some tea. You hummed happily and he chuckled, setting the mug on a side table to snuggle up to you. “well, that was a lotta work. If the lady wants to cuddle, then i’m just gonna sleep here.” Blue cried out in betrayal. However, when he realized that were fully embracing his brother’s presence on your bed, he blushed before joining on Stretch’s side.

 

Papyrus heaved a long suffering sigh, leaning over the other skeletons to reach for your legs. “Well, I’m going to actually check on her. Her ribs have fully healed, and the legs have almost finished knitting themselves together. Her head should be fine and her clavicle is almost better. I think that by tomorrow, we will be able to heal her back to full health.”

 

“good to hear, paps,” Sans said, enviously eyeing the cuddle pile. “can’t have our human broken now, can we?” he eyed you with something between affection and regret.

 

“Exactly so, brother!”

 

“Papyruuuuus,” you called out, “thaaank you for healing, but i still need a huuug!” you were certainly enjoying the warm and pokey skeleton cuddle pile around you, but several skeletons were missing! How were you supposed to make sure they were safe if they didn’t hug you? The problem had to be addressed promptly. At least the healing magic helped you work through the fog in your head. “Ya gotta! Now, please!”

 

“W-well! If you insist!” he eyed the pile. Red and Stretch were on either side of you, and your arms were around them. On Stretch’s side, Blue held your arm with one arm, his other reaching so that his phalanges touched at your stomach, which was hidden only by a thin hospital gown. the skeleton began to sweat a bit.

 

Edge strode over before Papyrus could do anything, pulling a chair to sit beside Red’s side of the bed and taking your hand. “HUMAN, IS THIS AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR C-CUDDLING?” he asked, cheekbones brightly lit with red. You nodded happily at him.

 

Well now Papyrus had even fewer options to work with. “I apologize y/n, but it appears that there is simply no space for me!”

 

Well that was unacceptable. You thought about the problem a minute, before reaching the perfect conclusion, your face lighting up. “Skeleton blanket!” and thus, Papyrus is forced by your urging to crawl on top of you somewhat, resting his now bright orange face on your stomach.

 

Sans isn’t quite sure what to make of all this, his face a bright cyan, and so he moves to leave the room.

 

But that’s not in your plans.

 

“Sans!” you huff, causing him to stop before he reaches the door.

 

“uh, yeah kid?” he’s sweating now, clearly nervous.

 

“You too!”

 

He chuckles nervously. “sorry pal, but there’s nowhere for me to-”

 

“Pillow?” you suggest.

 

Red snickers at him, and Sans looks like he wants to melt into the floor. Instead he looks imploringly at his brother. But Papyrus’s gaze clearly says ‘indulge her’. Well. it looks like, for tonight, he’d be your pillow. You all ended up pretty squished together, but oddly comfortable. At least, you were comfortable. And very happy that you had a large bed.

 

You phone light blinked at several unread text messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> right when our bullet wound was healing.......... welp. this will complicate our life now, wont it?
> 
> i really want a skeleton cuddle pile........................ 
> 
> help pay fangs medical bill?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna know other things our lovely reader would say on heavy medication? ask me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: overprotective, a bit


	28. In the Background, Edge Dumps a Box of Snakes on Anny as He Climbs Through a Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time on the itch: we got run over by a van before we even attacked it, and then got taken to a hospital where we got high as fuck on pain meds, before being kidnapped by our skeletons and taken home. last chapter, we ended in the boniest cuddle pile.
> 
> wow i re-wrote this chapter like 5 times until i was happy enough. but good news guys! reader doesnt die yet! we have barely kissed any skeletons! unfortunately! author is dying! my parents are trying to move again for "tax benefits" which means theyre gonna try and manipulate me into helping them becuz they still have some of my shit! even tho im not moving with them! its stressing me out low key! there is really no good reason for them to do this????????????????????
> 
> maybe buy me a ko-fi to lower my stress by .01%  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> talk to me on tumblr if you want to know why my parents moving gives me panic attacks:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Your body ached, but it wasn’t the worst pain you had ever experienced. You were still a little fuzzy on the details as you woke up and stared at your bedroom ceiling. You were home. Had getting run over, that pain, and those ugly snapping sounds, all been a dream? You started to get up, but then a bony hand pushed your forehead back against your pillow. A pillow that felt suspiciously like ribs. At the same time, something snuggled closer to your left side. Ah. Not a dream, you supposed.

 

“g’ back to sleep,” Sans mumbled, as Stretch nuzzled his skull against you affectionately.

 

Okay, this was surprisingly pleasant. As you took stock of your situation, the hand that Sans had used to push you down was now stroking your hair. Stretch was warm against your side, as was Sans’s ribs under your head. How were skeletons so comfortable? You were distracted by sharp pangs of hunger from your stomach, and decided that you needed to leave bed. As it seemed the easiest escape, you carefully pulled your arm away from Stretch and rolled off the right side of the bed, hitting the floor.

 

“Fuck!” that had been more painful than you expected.

 

“honey, you alright?” Stretch’s worried face popped over the side of the bed. “you should really rest some more. even with all our healing pushin’ it along, your body just had to repair a hell of a lot of damage.”

 

“The hell… how much was real? I got run over, right?” It certainly felt like you got run over. Your entire body ached. “You guys healed me up?”

 

“yeah.” Stretch rested his head on crossed arms as he looked down at you. “you were pretty banged up. anny said something about a car accident?”

 

You sighed. This was more lying than you were used to. “Yeah. some assholes ran me over. Hey, where’s my phone?” stretch pointed to your phone and you crawled over to your bag to pull it out. That was when you noticed the very thin hospital gown you were in. well, that would have to change as soon as possible. Despite covering just enough, it left you feeling exposed. You looked down at your phone. Ten percent? You could have sworn you charged it before you went out, and your phone normally had excellent battery life. Well, no matter. You sent some texts to Muffet about the danger the amalgamate there was in, before checking your other messages. Several missed calls from Anny, and new text messages from Anny, several of the skeletons, Boss, Byrd, and… that damn mystery number! You checked the ones from your roommates first, various inanities and several questions of your whereabouts. That was when you saw the date. “I WAS OUT FOR TWO DAYS?!”

 

“jeez, pal,” Sans crawled over on the bed until his skeletal visage popped up next to Stretch. His eyes were half lidded, and he seemed barely awake. “what’s all the yelling for?”

 

“I can’t believe i didn’t even notice- shit! I feel so-!” Weak. You went to the message from Byrd next. She sent you… a meme? She was opening up to you again. Boss’s message had several file attachments. With a click, they opened and… you turned off the screen of the phone, hoping your hovering roommates didn’t see that. That must have been the pictures Boss had mentioned. You took a deep breath before reading their messages.

 

…

 

Oh, this was very bad.

 

“you’re looking’ a little pale there, honey. you wanna just come back to bed? I-i mean! Not like that, but like-” Stretch tripped over his words and Sans snickered at him.

 

You ignored them for now, ignoring the mystery message and checking Anny’s texts instead.

 

**Anny: where are you**

**Anny: i swear if you think this is funny**

**Anny: you’re still passed out aren’t you**

**Anny: shit**

**Anny: tell your skeletons to bring you back**

**Anny: they took you from the hospital**

**Anny: you need to come back in case boss comes**

**Anny: i’m serious, they’ll kill me if you’re gone**

**Anny: i’m coming to your house**

**Anny: are you awake yet**

**Anny: your skeletons won’t let me in**

**Anny: if their healing is so great, why aren’t you awake yet**

**Anny: i swear if they hurt you by kidnapping you like that i will break all of their bones**

**Anny: they caught me climbing in through the window**

**Anny: i just lied to boss, PLEASE get them to let me in**

**Anny: i’m not leaving your house until they let me in**

**Anny: you owe me so big time for protecting your monsters**

**Anny: if boss knew they took you out of the hospital**

**Anny: i’m just gonna keep calling until you wake up**

 

The messages started early last night, apparently, with the latest one just under an hour ago. As if on cue, your phone went off and you answered it.

 

“I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T LET ME AT LEAST SEE HER-” you had to pull the phone away from your ear as Anny’s angry voice cut through the room. Stretch winced sympathetically and Sans raised an eyebrow.

 

“Anny! It’s me, i’m up,” you managed to talk over him, and he calmed down at your voice.

 

“Jesus christ, y/n. Are you okay? They didn’t hurt you or anything, did they?” he sounded exhausted, and still very frustrated.

 

“No, i’m fine besides being sore all over and a little fuzzy on the details of the past couple days.”

 

“Well, remember how Boss told me to watch over you? They are now under the impression that your friends healed you up and I’m watching over you at your home. So, if I don’t get in there and watch you, Boss will have my hide. And they are not in a good mood.”

 

“Yeah sure, I’ll let you in,” you moved to stand, but your legs turned to jelly and you couldn’t even get off the floor.

 

“careful hon,” Stretch said, finally leaving the bed. “you still need more rest.” he gingerly picked you back up and returned you to bed. Sans had moved as well, slouching by the open door to your bedroom with his hands in his pockets, looking out into the hall at something out of your line of sight.

 

“One of you go let Anny in,” you requested, and Stretch left to comply. You turned back to your phone conversation. “Okay, so i can’t walk again just yet. But Stretch is gonna let you in.”

 

In seconds, Anny was by your bedside, fretting and ranting in equal measure. Blue and Edge had apparently been working together to keep him out of the house despite Papyrus’s protests, and the others hadn’t cared enough to intervene. All the skeletons had taken time off of work apparently, worried about your health.

 

You stay bedridden, and Anny stays by your side, for the next two days. He mostly keeps the skeletons out of your room, apparently paranoid they’ll take you away again, which is kind of sweet of him to worry about. He lets them deliver food. You do stretches and other light exercise under his instruction, but for once you dont feel too bad about not doing much. Who knew getting hit by a car would be so much more exhausting than getting shot! You spent a lot of time talking to him, playing games, and sending messages to Byrd. Anny only left once you regained enough strength to walk around the house by yourself, citing that Boss needed him for something. 

 

On your fifth day post-car accident, you were bored. Before, Anny had been there 24/7, only leaving the room when the skeletons forced him to sleep in the guest room. But now you were alone in your room. You could walk now, with only some ache deep in your musculature, so you would pace around the balcony when you were bored of playing video games in bed. When it came to leaving the house, however…

 

“where we going?”

 

You had been carefully inching your way down the stairs, with a death-grip on the railing, but had only made it halfway down when Sans appeared, pushing that  _ thing _ . Just because you were still a bit unsteady didn’t mean you would  let anyone push around in a damn wheelchair.

 

“I’m just going to the kitchen for a snack,” you lied.

 

“coulda asked one of us to get it.” there was something about his eye lights that just saw right through you. But hell if you were going to admit it.

 

“Gotta stretch my legs. Didn’t wanna bother anyone.” you made it down the last step and casually walked past Sans and into the kitchen. You’d have to wait for him to get distracted before you could slip out alone.

 

He followed you. “no need to  _ shoot down  _ our assistance. No one thinks you’re just  _ gunning  _ for attention.” you decided to search through the pantry, looking for chisps. Monster food sounded great right now. “we dont mind having to  _ rifle  _ through the food for ya.” great, just when you were liking Sans again, he tries to kill you with puns.

 

“Look, i just needed a snack. You guys don’t have to keep a constant watch on me.”

 

“that’s pretty confident for a human who looked like they were going to fall down the stairs on their way here.”

 

“SANS! You cannot simply leave the wheelchair out in-” Papyrus walked into the kitchen in a huff, gloved hands on his hips, but then his eye sockets landed on you. “Ah! You’re out of bed! And your room! Even though it has only been five days!”

 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m fine, Papyrus. I can’t just lay in my bed all day.” despite saying that, the trip downstairs and to the kitchen left your muscles tired and sore. Which was beyond frustrating. You popped open the chisps and began munching. You were still fuzzy on how much healing magic food could actually do, but it couldn’t hurt, right?

 

“Well, i suppose as long as you don’t do anything reckless like trying to navigate stairs by yourself or going outside alone without even bringing the wheelchair, it is fine!” Papyrus posed confidently. You winced, as that had been exactly your plan.

 

Sans wrapped an arm around your waist. “good thing y/n and i only planned to hang out and watch netflix.”

 

“Yup. definitely what I came downstairs for.” your voice toed the line between sarcasm and resignation, but it seemed to be enough for Papyrus.

 

“Nyeh! Then I will leave you here, to stay, in the house, while I go do private training with Undyne!” he hugged you both in an embrace that lifted both you and Sans off the floor, before gently placing you back down and dashing out the door.

 

You watched him go, staring at his shirt. “What does ‘jog boy’ even mean?”

 

“not a clue. so, what do you want to watch?”

  
  
  


Training with Undyne aboveground was much different than training with her before the barrier broke. Before, they had mostly trained their spirits as they made spaghetti together, and Papyrus ended up doing most of his physical training by himself. But now that he was a member of the royal guard at last, training had become a much more intense affair. The Tale guard had their weekly training days, but Papyrus’s one-on-one time with Undyne now involved a lot of sparring. Sometimes he missed cooking together.

 

“You WEENIE! Blue attacks are easy!” Undyne raged as she got hit by yet another blue bone.

 

“Seeing how much damage you take from them, they must not be easy enough!” Papyrus nyeh-ed as Undyne threw more spears. She was good at dodging most attacks, but when they were blue she always tried to stay still as they came at her, but ended up fidgeting at the last moment. So Papyrus used a lot of blue attacks. To help her practice her patience.

 

“DID SOMEONE SAY BLUE ATTACKS?!” Blue appeared on the sidelines of the training field. “PAPYRUS! Tag me in, tag me in!”

 

“You wanna piece of me too punk?!” Undyne called out in amusement. “Fuhuhu! Bring it!”

 

Papyrus dodged another spear right as it switched directions to come at him from the opposite side, and leaned over to grab Blue’s hand and launch the smaller skeleton onto the field while pulling himself out of it. Undyne seamlessly switched targets and Blue began to fight back. Blue was a bit more aggressive in his attacks in a way Papyrus recognized from his own past. Papyrus joined some other guards on break to watch the sparring, updating several of his social media accounts. It wouldn’t do to fall behind in the latest trends. He tagged back in after a while, and after sparring they hung out in the Embassy lobby, occasionally playing with the pacifist children until Undyne had to go meet Alphys and take her home. Almost as soon as Undyne was gone, Blue appeared again.

 

“Hi Papyrus! Have a good training day with Undyne?” the smaller skeleton sat next to his friend.

 

“I did indeed! Although i admit i worry about our human friend and their health.”

 

Blue had many of the same tells as Sans, so Papyrus saw it coming. “Actually, i was hoping we could talk about her! I’m worried about how often she keeps getting hurt, and i feel like you’ve found out more than i have.” 

 

Papyrus sighed. “True, i fear that her life is going down a dangerous path. But that just means we need to remind her that she can change, yes?”

 

“Absolutely! So, shall we compare notes?”

  
  
  


It was three episodes into Stranger Things before Sans spoke again. “paps really likes you, you know.”

 

“I do know.” you like Papyrus too. Hell, you liked all your roommates. They were fun to hang out with, and seemed like actually good people. It was nice to be surrounded by good people for a change. Even if it did make you feel like shit in comparison.

 

“How do you feel about him? Or Blue. or…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his skull. “you’ve noticed, right? How they feel about you?”

 

You were suddenly very uncomfortable. Feelings. Not your strong point. “I love all of you guys. You’re my super-cool friends. Living with you is great. Skeletons are surprisingly good for cuddling.” God, could you sound more like a ridiculous dweeb if you tried?

 

“you shouldn’t lead them on forever, kid.”

 

“Well you should mind your own business.”

 

“my brothers feelings are my business.” there was tension in the air, the kind you hadn’t had with Sans in a while now.

 

“Well _ my _ feelings aren’t your business.” you weren’t going to bring up your feelings and wreck what you had. You didn’t want to give up watching movies together, hugging, or cuddling; you were too desperately touch-starved. But you didn’t want to pick any one to go out with either. You would lose the skinship of the others, probably, and… they deserved someone better than you. So if you just ignored it, maybe it would… go away?

 

“that so, kid.” it was rhetorical, and you both turned your attention back to the television with a heavy silence.

  
  
  


_ It was supposed to be simple. They were selling on your turf, so you take out their kitchens while they sleep. Byrd was working late, but you forget how late. You had thought that maybe you could get home before she even knew you were gone. The four of you were supposed to be in and out. These places were dangerous anyway, it shouldn’t take much to light it up. And it didn’t. But then the screams. _

 

_ No one was supposed to still be in there. _

 

_ No one was supposed to die. _

 

_ And Byrd wasn’t supposed to be working at the convenience store just across the road.  _

 

_ You accomplices told you to run, but you didn’t. You had promised not to kill anyone, not to cross that line, your sister had been adamant, and these screams sounded so much worse than when people were just being beaten, or cut, or… _

 

_ You watched in shock as your sister ran out of her workplace, her phone to her cheek, undoubtedly calling 911. Of course she dives into the building, probably even thinking that it’s safe enough if she pulls her shirt over her nose to block the smoke, and maybe you’re imagining that she appears to have soaked her clothes, but maybe you’re not. And you cant let her go in alone and as soon as the shock wears off you run in right after... _

  
  
  


“They deserve better than me.” it was barely a whisper, and you didn’t know if Sans even heard it. But even if he didn’t, saying it out loud was… cathartic. “They deserve better, and i don’t deserve to love them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, how about that flashback? wonder what thats all about. huh.
> 
> hhhnnnnggggggg *author tries really hard not to spoil future events but she's really excited about this multiverse*
> 
> also, disclaimer: in this chater, reader says some pretty ableist stuff about wheelchairs. thats because she doesn't know much, and is still plagued by the stigma of disability=weakness, a very untrue thing. shes gonna get learned about this shit, because disability is not weakness, whether its temporary while you recover from something or permanent from fucked up body/brain issues.
> 
> buy a ko-fi to have someone flip off fell!gaster  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> talk to overprotective skeletons on my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: looks like you own some dresses now, i guess


	29. Half a Birthday (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo! hope you guys like some backstory! cuz thats what these birthday chapters are gonna do. get ready for flashbacks and shit.  
> also, as a warning, ch 30 is giving me some trouble. i wanna get it out next week wednesday, but theres a chance it'll take 2 weeks.
> 
> maybe help me with groceries and shit?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> ask questions and help me decide what to write next on my tumblr! really, please help me choose what to write.  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

A week since a van totaled your fleshy body. Your body still ached, but actions like walking and video games were now much more bearable. Wiping the crusty sleep from your eyes, you took stock of your skin, tracing your scars. Your left shoulder, where you had been shot. Your new scars on your legs, from where they had reset bone, and on your chest, where you had broken your clavicle. Your right arm, where you had been cut in your early time in Ebott, being less experienced when you were brought to one of your first jobs for Ushravas. Your left hip, where you had slipped in a warehouse raid months ago and landed on some piece of machinery. And your back… after all these years, you could still feel where your skin had once been… but that would do no good to think on. You'd likely accrued more scars in the past two months than all the rest of your life combined. But… these scars came from helping someone. Protecting Edge, and whatever amalgamate those men were hoping to kidnap. Your fingers lightly traced your stretch marks as well, most prominent on your stomach and thighs. Easily distinguishable from your battle scars, if you knew what to look for. They traced like lightning in paths where you had grown faster than your outer layers of skin had been prepared for. There was a time you had been self conscious, but now you liked them. They were a piece of you that no one else had.

  
  
  


_ The two of you were getting dressed for school when she saw it. _

 

_ “y/n! That’s a new scar!” her voice was accusatory, but mostly filled with worry. _

 

_ You shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Got in a little trouble. Then i got out.” _

 

_ She frowned. “You’re lucky it’s not somewhere everyone can see. You’ll never get a boyfriend like this.” _

 

_ Ah yes, the days when she was concerned with appearances and boys. Truly barbaric times. “I don’t care if they can see my scars. They’re cool. And yes, stretch marks too. Look at my thighs! I’ve been doing a ton of running and now they’re swole as heck!” _

 

_ She frowned at your thighs and the stretch marks, shyly looking at her own marks. They were not so much from exercising. Honestly, they were probably from middle school; neither of you had really noticed your stretch marks until you saw something about them on the internet. And now she got all self conscious about them. _

 

_ You took her hands. “Byrd, check this out.” you stood right next to each other in the most well-lit part of the room you could find. You traced your stretch marks and pointed to hers. “We’re twins, but our marks are totally different. People say that we’re identical, but we’re not. They dont know us. They don’t know our secrets, and they don’t even know our bodies. And when we get out of here, we don’t need to look alike anymore. You can get your tattoos, and i can cut my hair.” _

 

_ She smiled at that. “Yeah. after high school, everything will be better.” she hip-checked you as you both went back to getting dressed. “Thanks Nyl.” _

  
  
  


Getting out of your pajamas, you went to your closet to get dressed. Hanging your clothes felt more tedious than folding them, so often many articles ended on the floor rather than hangers, but it didn’t matter too much.

 

You were shocked when you opened the closet door to find your clothes shoved to the back of the walk-in space, and hanging in plain view at the front were six dresses.

 

What the hell.

 

There was even a note that said: Wear your favorite!

 

They… they couldn’t know right? You don’t remember telling them, anyway… You looked through the selection.there was a rather pragmatic blue number, a long dress that was bound to hug your curves with a slit up the side that still managed to look comfortable and casual. A yellow sundress, with flower patterns that were more elegant than cutesy, but still maybe a bit too… happy for your general tastes. Maybe for a beach day, someday. A simple orange dress with a ribbon around the waist and a short flared skirt is also cute, even if the color is a bit… louder than your usual tastes. In fact, looking at the rest of your closet, these colorful pieces starkly contrast the dark blues, blacks, and greys of the rest of your ensemble. Next is a more lacy number reminiscent of an anime sailor suit in a light blue. Hard pass. The next two dresses are things you might have actually picked out for yourself, had you ever felt the need to go dress shopping. One is a deep red, tight fitting with a short pencil skirt and a single strap to hold it all up. The other is mostly black, with a scooped neckline and a skirt that goes past your knees, with a belt that goes with it around the middle and a modest sprinkle of lace. Would probably be good to wear to a bar.

 

…

 

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to wear a dress if you’re not going anywhere right? Now do you wear the dress that makes you feel sexiest, or the most comfortable one? A twinge of pain in your aching muscles quickly answers that question, and you go with the causal blue dress. The fabric is light and soft against your skin, and it honestly feels a bit like putting on fancier pajamas.

 

Alright. Clothes equipped. Checking the time, you know it would be a good time to call. You shouldn’t put it off. Nervously, you fiddle with your phone, looking again at the texts your sister sent you. With a frown you see more texts from the mystery number. Why hadn’t you blocked it already? It was the same scrambled nonsense as usual, with a strange area code. What the hell, why not. You called the number. It seems to ring only once.

 

…

 

You faintly hear… dial up noises?

 

And then, like hundreds of voices on top of each other, as if you were pulling the words through a curtain of static and as if you could feel something crawling on your skin, you heard an absolutely terrifying voice.

 

“ _ Come join the fun. _ ”

 

You hang up and throw the phone across the room, where it loudly slams into the wall. Shit. what the hell was that? It was terrifying. You were no longer in the mood to make that call.

 

You hear the heavy clacks of skeletal feet on hardwood, and almost immediately your door burst open to reveal a small cluster of skeletons, with the rest quickly running up behind them, pushing them in their rush so that they tumble and land in a bony pile in your doorway. You stared for a beat before breaking into laughter at the ridiculous scene. Edge immediately began yelling at everyone to get off him, and they went about untangling themselves. Edge kept trying to extricate himself and causing others to trip all over each other again. Papyrus managed to get out first, and easily lifted Sans up and tucked him under an arm, while his brother did nothing to help or hinder, apparently content to be wherever. When Blue managed to get up he tried to convince Stretch to stand as well, but the lanky skeleton claimed that the floor was perfectly comfortable and he didn’t mind staying there longer. Red also got up and brushed himself off, although he accidentally stepped on Stretch, causing Blue to demand he apologize, which pulled Edge in to say that no one gets to boss Red around besides his brother… and you couldn’t stop laughing until they had all calmed down.

 

Red was the first to manage to speak up. “so, uh, you okay sweetheart? we heard something, so uh…”

 

“Yeah, yeah, i’m good. Someone’s been sending me weird texts and when i tried to call them to see who it was, there was a weird… voice.” you picked up your phone. It kinda… smelled weird.

 

“why does it smell like battery acid?” Sans asked. He held out a hand for the phone, and you let him look over it. Apparently nothing was really wrong, so he handed it back with a shrug. “huh. odd. but, uh, see you found your first birthday presents?” his grin was shit-eating as he turned back to face a group of rather grumbly skeletons.

 

You roll your eyes. “Anny told you, didn’t he? Can’t be bothered to mind his own business.”

 

“We each got you a dress!” Blue began to explain, bouncing with happiness. “Red said you didn’t have any, and now you have something to wear for your most exciting birthday ever! Although, you didn’t pick mine.” he pouted a little, but perked up. “We’re going to a theme park today, after birthday waffles!”

 

You perked up at the mention of a theme park. “Now THAT sounds like a good idea. I’ve been stuck here for far too long.”

 

Stretch chuckled. “Yeah, it seemed like you were missing being able to go out and get your kicks. And with us allowed out of Ebott, we can go to this little place that’s not too far. Already got tickets.”

  
  
  


Of course there was a catch. Despite feeling fine, they made you take the wheelchair between rides. You argued for a solid half hour about it, with Blue appearing the invested, until Papyrus convinced you it would make everyone feel better and Edge complaining that the longer you took to heal, the longer before you could have that real fight. So, wheelchair it was. But you didn’t have to like it. The group was split between Papyrus, you, Sans, and Blue in Papyrus’s nice red hotrod, and Stretch, Edge, and Red took a car that apparently Anny had lent them. You weren’t sure what to make of Anny’s continued contact with your roommates, but as long as he didn’t get them involved in anything dangerous you figured you’d let it slide. Blue clung to you in the backseat while Papyrus drove, chatting about the things they had seen online about the park. Being the closest such attraction to Ebott city, it had apparently adapted quickly once monster were given permission to roam, and advertised itself as a monster-friendly park. There were hasty installments made to entertain monsters of varying sizes, with mixed results, and also several exhibitions showcasing basic human knowledge and history for monsters to learn things most humans would think too simple to tell them about. You both looked at the printed brochure until you arrived.

 

Apple Pine Parks was surprisingly large for being in such a relatively remote location. It appeared to be loosely nature themed, but was still grander than anything you had seen before. In person, at least. Almost as soon as the car pulled into the parking space, you unbuckled and jumped out of the convertible before Blue could stop you. Literally jumped. Opening the door would have taken too long, and you had to enjoy every second of activity you could get in before the skeletons forced you into that damned chair. The outside air felt so good after being stuck at home for days, and the weather was a bit cloudy, but it served to make a pleasantly cool spring day. Near the entrance to the park, local flowers in varying shades of pink and purple swayed in the breeze.

 

And then it was ruined by Sans sneaking up behind you and pushing the wheelchair into the back of your knees, causing you to fall into it. “hey pal, you really  _ jumped  _ the gun there. you should  _ wheelie  _ have waited for the rest of us.”

 

You made a noise of frustration. “Goodbye, sweet freedom. I savored those five seconds where i was free of any skeletal chaperones. Can i leave the chair if i get a permission slip?”

 

“Sans, must you really torture our friend with your poor attempts at car based punnery?!” Papyrus huffed, with Blue nodding beside him. Both held the same pose, gloved hands on their hips and matching faces of disapproval.

 

“And on my birthday!” you pipe up just as the car with the others parks nearby.

 

“WE BROUGHT YOU OUT TO A FANCY PARK, SO WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT NOW?” Edge crossed his arms as he walked up, but you noticed the nervous fidgeting of his fingers.

 

“Sans is telling terrible puns,” you tattled. “And forcing me to stay in the wheelchair.” now that you were sitting, you could feel the slight burn that came with tired muscles, but you would never admit it. You didn’t even want to admit to yourself that such a short burst of activity could have such a significant effect. You hated feeling weak.

 

“MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD PUSH YOUR WHEELED CHAIR, THEN.”

 

“don't be a sore loser, edge,” Sans replied with an easy grin. “whose dress did she pick?”

 

Oh. you should have guessed. “What, i’m wearing your dress so you think that means i want you to push me around?”

 

“nah, we made a bet and i happened to win.”

 

“Well, you all made a mistake.” you glared first at Sans, then at each of the rest of them. Stretch, Papyrus, Sans, and Blue looked a bit sheepish. Red merely shrugged, and Edge glared right back. “I am the master of my own destiny!” and with that, you grabbed at the wheels of the chair and rammed it backwards into Sans, who stumbled and fell over backwards with a surprised ‘oof’. Then you propelled yourself to the gates. If you had to be here, you would push your own damn self, thank you very much!

  
  
  


The inside of the park was colorful and bright, with jaunty music playing at an acceptable volume over the loudspeakers throughout. Blue and Papyrus were easily the most excited, but you knew you didn’t imagine that sparkle in the eye sockets of Edge or Stretch. You had been given a map, and whenever you wanted to look at it more closely you called Sans over to push you until you were satisfied, at which point you took over driving yourself.

 

“OH, OH, I WANNA LEARN ABOUT THE HUMAN DIGESTIVE SYSTEM! IT'S PERFECT FOR BEFORE WE GO GET LUNCH!” Blue was by far the most vocal, jumping around between all the signs and causing other guests to look over in amusement. It was nice that the people here all seemed monster-friendly. Definitely better than the glares you were used to having to return. But the increased security didn’t pass your notice, either.

 

“Nah Blue,” you called out, trying to calm him down. “We have to do the rides first! Then lunch, then exhibits or something. You don’t wanna get on a ride after eating and hurl. So we gotta do the big stuff first.”

 

“Excellent plan of attack!” Papyrus agreed, moving next to Blue so that they could discuss what to do first.

 

They hunched over their maps, pointing and highlighting and circling (where did they get those markers?). Edge butted in and began raving about what the best activities were, with Stretch stepping in to mediate (or was he actually pushing to go to that one exhibit you caught him looking at?). Red and Sans stayed near the back of the group, punning about _amusing_ antics and how they were all really in for the _ride_ of their lives. You smiled at your group. You felt… something. Something you haven’t felt in a long time. But you couldn’t quite place it. It didn’t matter too much, though. You were happy. You were with friends. Later, you would call your sister. Later, you would go back over your information on Reap; you wouldn’t abandon one of your best friends. Now, however, you would enjoy this time with the six most important monsters in your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huh, we sure feel... something. wonder what all that is. we also own dresses now! neat.
> 
> An Idea: GIVE ME FEEDBACK  
> what if i did a series of interconnected one-shots based on various one-sentence prompts? it would likely focus on a relationship between one of the humans that works at the embassy helping with monster rights (probably some kind of lawyer) and a minor undertale character of you guy’s choosing. it would probably be a slow build romance with a named human character, and idk which POV you guys wanna read. it would be canon to all other works in HATM, and maybe give you a new view on what goes on in this multiverse. but anyway, if you guys would be interested, comment or msg or send an ask with which minor character you’d be interested in seeing and if you want it 2nd or 3rd POV. could be fun!
> 
> buy me a coffee to see sans and red gang up and pun at the hot dog stand guy  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> come be my friend on tumblr! i love making friends. you can also ask characters questions!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: we get to peek into some skulls
> 
> thanks for reading. i hope you're having a good time. remember, doing your best doesnt always mean working nonstop. it takes a certain amount of strength to just stop, take a deep breath, and maybe nap for a few hours.


	30. Half a Birthday (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time on the itch: we're recovering pretty well from getting hit by a car. Boss is pissed and wreaked vengance fro us while we rested. its our birthday, and our favorite bone boys have taken us to a theme park!
> 
> have you been wondering whats going on inside their skulls? well, now you get to see!
> 
> help me pay for my last year of college, maybe?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> come to tumblr for updates and bonus content, including teasers to future events and mini-stories that you wont find anywhere else!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

As he stood in line for his first roller coaster, Blue found himself wondering how many times you had ridden these kind of things. Was this not the first time you came to a place like this for your birthday? Who did you used to come with? Were you ever brought here by your parents? Or maybe your fellow gang members. He turned to see you chatting with his brother and Sans, apparently reassuring Stretch that it wasn’t that bad, and mentioning something about motorcycles?

 

“Are you excited Blue?!” Blue looked to Papyrus, who was next to him at the beginning of the line. They had gotten to skip a lot of the line because of you being in the wheelchair, which was certainly nice. Papyrus seemed practically overjoyed, bones rattling in anticipation.

 

Blue briefly wondered if his companion gave any thought to your past at times like this, or if he was simply trying to focus on enjoying the here and now. Blue slapped on his own excited smile. “I’m incredibly excited! Today is going to be amazing! And y/n  looks like she’s already having so much fun!” talking about it rekindled his energy, and he watched, enraptured, as the coaster soared by on its way back to the loading dock. He needed to focus on the positive! They were going to have an excellent day together with you, experience their first themed park, and give you a good birthday. And someday, maybe soon, you would open up about your job all on your own. Then they could convince you to stop! And everything would be perfect.

  
  
  


They had been eating a lot less human food recently, thankfully. One of the few good things about you getting hurt was that there was extra effort to stock up on magic food rather than the human stuff. If one of the skeletons cooked it they could imbue it with enough magic to turn it into monster food, but the times you cooked or one of the lazier brothers just microwaved it were less than perfect. Human food was fine on occasion, especially with some of the more creative liberties the surface had taken in regards to the culinary arts, but eating it so often made Edge’s magic feel sluggish and stale. Even adding magic extract to the stuff couldn’t completely fix it.

 

Edge watched carefully as the food was pulled out and distributed. Everyone was seated at a park bench, three people on each side and Blue sitting at the head in your wheelchair. When the seating arrangements had originally had you staying in the contraption, you had thrown a fit until Blue offered to trade. Now you were happily seated on the end of a bench, next to Papyrus, and pulling a plastic fork from the box to eat your lasagna. With several other, far less great, skeletons in the kitchen, Edge hadn’t been able to make his special dish like he normally did, as the others claimed some ingredients were ‘not fit for human consumption’ and that the cooking method was ‘a bit dangerous’. He knew it would be fine, since it was he who made it, but he carefully watched your reaction anyway as you took a bite.

 

“WELL, HUMAN? IS MY COOKING NOT AMAZING?” he pressed as you chewed in silence.

 

You shot him a grin, and he felt a blush rise on his cheeks. “Not bad, Edge. you’ll catch up to master chef Papyrus in not time!”

 

You shot him a wink and went back to eating, but Edge stood up. “I AM… GOING TO LOOK FOR A WATER FOUNTAIN.” before anyone could point out the various drinks they had brought, he was already gone. Stupid human… stupid cream puff version of him…. HE was the master chef Papyrus, and that-that-! He strode into a nearby bathroom and looked in the mirror. “NYEH! WHAT DOES SHE KNOW?! HER OPINION DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF PERFECTION!” 

 

Even if he had only been on the surface for a year. Even if he didn’t exactly know what humans could and couldn’t eat. Even if it was hard to remember that it wasn’t a kill or be killed world anymore. Even if his brother still flinched whenever he made a move… His hands tightly gripped the edges of the sink. This wasn’t his world. He had been a fool for thinking you would be different, that you would judge him based on his individualisms rather than compare him to the  _ other _ Papyrus, the  _ better _ papyrus…

 

“you okay, boss?” Edge turned to see Red in the doorway, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, not really making eye contact.

 

“OF COURSE I AM, YOU IMBECILE.” he turned his face back to the mirror. His gloves reached up to the three lines that went through his eye socket. 

 

“... she didn’t mean it like that.” Edge chose to ignore him, but he continued. “she’s... i don’t even think she knows about the timelines and shit. she was just trying to compliment the creampuff.”

 

Edge whirled to glare at his brother, who flinched under his gaze. “I’M BETTER THAN HIM.”

 

“‘c-course you are, boss.” Red began to sweat. “stronger. smarter. far more handsome. the coolest.” he began to become more comfortable the more he complimented his brother. “you’re obviously the best, bro.”

 

“... DO YOU THINK…” Edge looked off into the distance, but quickly pulled himself together. “NEVERMIND. LET US QUICKLY RETURN.”

 

But before he could pass by the shorter skeleton, he heard red’s answer. “i do.”

  
  
  


Papyrus was annoyed that Sans was putting absolutely no effort into spinning their cup.

 

“Sans! How are you supposed to properly enjoy this ride of spinning if you don’t attempt to spin the cup?!” Papyrus scolded as his gloves turned the wheel in the middle of their teacup seat, keeping a steady clockwise rotation at an average speed. It was just enough to push you to the edge of the seat with the centrifugal force, although you had to keep tugging on Sans jacket as he made no move to keep himself from being flung away.

 

“well paps, i just can’t bring myself to put as much backbone into it as our companions.” sans pointed and you laughed at the other cups where you could see Blue spinning the wheel as fast as he could, with Stretch occasionally pulling in the opposite direction to keep it from going too fast. In another vein, Edge’s cup was spinning so fast that it looked like it could come loose of its moorings, and Red was in great danger of being thrown from his seat with the force of the turning. You laughed.

 

Papyrus loved your laugh when it was like this, joyful and free. So often your laughter was curt and without humor, less like happiness and more like resignation. Obviously you need someone to remind you that it’s not too late to change! You don’t need to be in a place where you have to hurt others and be hurt, where you have to worry about getting shot or run over by cars. Its so much better when you’re cuddled on the couch together, watching cartoons, or cooking together, or spinning with him and his lazy brother in a tea-themed attraction! He would just have to remind you that whatever reasons you have, there was a better way to go about life.

  
  
  


Humans didn’t make any sense. They claimed they wanted peace, but started wars. They claimed freedom, but only after oppressing others. They ate food, but then it came out the other end! Stretch shook his head as the posters went on to describe the fall of slavery in the country. It seemed that without monsters to fight, humans had made do with fighting other humans, diving into more and more specific reasons to kill each other. Didn’t make much sense, but neither did a lot of things that humans did. Stretch turned to watch you as you frowned at the history posters and said something to Sans. Guess you didn’t like what you read. What had been  _ your  _ reason to kill? As much as he liked you, wanted you to like him, wanted to hold your hand or kiss you or protect you or… he couldn’t just ignore your EXP. or worse, your LV. different people’s LV went up at different rates, and yours was dangerously high for such a relatively low EXP. then again, most of his experience measuring that kinda thing laid with experience with a single human child…

 

He discreetly Judged you again, for the first time since that night.

 

He paled. “What the fuck,” he whispered, causing a nearby Papyrus to shoot him a stern look.

  
  
  


It was starting to get dark, but you had all ridden almost all the rides at the park, many of them twice. Classic and Stretch sat out most of the fun ones, except a few you forced them onto. Boss and the creampuff had ridden most of them, but avoided the crazier coasters. Blue and him though, they went on you with everything. Red grinned to himself. He had even managed to grab your hand a couple times and got one good grab at your ass, which you smacked him for. But you didn’t say to stop. 

 

And now here they were at the carnival games, by the grace of queen y/n, who had insisted that everything be done in a specific order. When being the one in a wheelchair didn’t get you your way, yanking your chair out of Sans’s hands and rolling away did. You were supposed to be in that thing because of mobility issues, but Red could’ve sworn it was actually making you faster.

 

“I’m telling you, they’re rigged,” you explained to the group. “Dunno if you wanna waste your money on them.”

 

“They still look fun!” Blue was protesting.

 

“I guess,” you tried to seem uninterested, but Red caught you looking over the prizes and different games as you yawned.

 

“HUMAN! UNTIL WE CAN PROPERLY COMPETE, I CHALLENGE YOU TO THIS GAME OF STABBING BALLOONS!” Edge commanded your attention, coming up behind your chair to guide you to the dart throwing booth. You didn’t appear to appreciate the gesture though, and Red snickered as you slammed the chair back into boss’s legs, causing him to fall over backward.

 

“Ask before you push people around,” you said, sticking out your tongue. “But i wouldn’t mind kicking your ass at balloon popping.”

 

For a minute it looked as if Edge was going to yell or start something, but surprisingly he merely glared as he brushed himself off and slapped some money on the counter for the games.

 

“go get ‘er boss,” Red encouraged lazily.

 

“HUMAN! PREPARE TO BE BESTED!” Edge tossed a dart, but it fell just short of the board. His face reddened in embarrassment. You snickered a bit. “LET’S SEE YOU DO BETTER THEN!”

 

With a smirk, you tossed a dart at an angle more like you were aiming for the sky than the board a few feet away. “Allright.” you loosed the projectile, and it popped one of the balloons, revealing that you had gathered a fair number of points for the shot. You smiled smugly.

 

Edge fumed and as you both continued, calling out shallow insults, Red watched contentedly. The others had gone off to other games for now, doing who knows what. He watched as you stood from your chair for the next shots ignoring complaints about your energy level and whatever else boss was saying. Red was enjoying the view of your ass, but noticed a slight tremble in your legs. You had only gotten up to get on and off rides, and short walks, usually to the restroom, but apparently it was enough for your muscles with all the recent destruction and healing they had been through. Red growled at the thought of how they had found you, in the hospital with all those creepy tubes in you and and blood stained bandages and casts. Someone had really fucked you up. He had figured out that you were involved in some shit, but there had to be a way for you to at least be safer about it. And… maybe he was projecting, but maybe you wanted out.

 

_ “And you can’t stop, like you’re addicted to destroying yourself.” _

 

You had to want out. But at the same time, you didn’t. He couldn’t shake that night, the night you had said those things to him. The night you made him feel like, just maybe, he wasn’t alone. Stars, he wanted to get you drunk again just so that you would open up; he had tried more subtle ways of bringing up those kind of topics while you had been living together these past couple weeks, but you had sidestepped them. You were almost as good at dodging as he was. But he wanted confirmation. Maybe he’d even be brave enough to tell you what he did. Maybe he could make you feel like you weren’t alone. Fuck, he wanted you to feel that. He didn’t want you to be so closed off, to take off from a nice walk in the park with him and come home beaten all to hell. He felt so guilty that he was the last one to see you before this shit storm, that he didn’t somehow stop it. One thing’s for sure, he wasn’t letting you go out alone again.

 

“hey, red.” Red spun to find Classic behind him.

 

“yeah, wassup?” Classic’s response was interrupted by a cheer.

 

“Ha! In your face Mr. Fancy Ass Royal Guard!” you were cheering, clutching a giant stuffed… tomato? No, that was an apple. A giant stuffed apple, bigger than your head. This place had some weird prizes.

 

“ah, good for her.” Red’s attention returned to Sans. “so, uh, stretch wants to talk to us about something tonight after the others go to bed. just letting you know.” Red nodded and Sans turned with a wink to go make fruit puns at you.

  
  
  


Sans thought he had you mostly figured out. EXP came from killing monsters, people, or animals, although of the latter didn’t give any significant amount. The most likely ways for you to gain it were if you were in a medical profession, some kind of military, or something a little less legal. Judging by you lack of reference to your job besides saying you worked part time at a casino, it had to be something lacking in legality. And judging from his observations, humans were your most likely victims. You liked animals well enough, and never went out of your way to hurt them. You had outright protected monsters in the past. So you were probably in a gang or some kind of fighting ring.

 

But as he pushed your sleeping form in the wheelchair you had complained about all day, you didn’t look like a vicious killer. You looked like a young girl who liked roller coasters, and candy, and hated racists, and wanted to… protect your friends. That was something he was pretty sure of. Your actions suggested that you had a strong urge to protect. He helped you into the backseat, and you hardly stirred. He absently stroked your hair as Papyrus loaded up the chair. Your hair was so soft. Why didn’t he touch you more? You seemed more than open to the hugs and other affections from the others.

 

You were a killer.

 

But you didn’t seem to be a danger to them. The opposite, in fact.

 

You were a human. Humans could never be trusted.

 

He had trusted a few humans before, and there was one who had never let him down.

 

You were… beautiful. A fighter. Afraid to share your secrets. Or you felt the skeletons were safer not knowing. That was understandable. Secrets were what Sans had always lived with, and likely always would. Stars, he didn’t even trust these alternate versions of himself. There were things they didn’t know. Things they didn’t need to know. His partnership with Red in their lab ‘project’ was dangerous enough, and when Stretch had proven volatile enough to leave the labs, it had just further shown that they were different people.

 

Trust no one. Watch everyone.

 

But… Sans sat in the back of the convertible, next to you, and stroked your hair. You mumbled something about birds and leaned your head into his touch, not seeming to wake up at all. He still couldn’t stop petting you as he began to realize he might be in trouble.

  
  
  


How had you not woken up earlier? It wasn’t until Papyrus was pulling you out of the car that you even realized you had fallen asleep, but you felt well rested from your nap. Someone made a late dinner for you all, complete with a birthday cake and a cheesy song, and you all ended up going to bed pretty early. It had been a long, fun day. You squished your stupid apple pillow and picked up the phone, nervously fiddling with the fabric while the line rung.

 

Finally, a breathy voice picked up on the other end of the line. “Nyl?”

 

You smiled at the old nickname. “Hey Byrd. Happy May fifteenth.”

 

“Happy May fifteenth,” she said back, her smile almost audible. “Did you do anything special today?”

 

“My roommates took me to a theme park.” best not to mention the wheelchair thing, or the getting run over thing. “You?”

 

The line was quiet for a few seconds. “I’m out with our old crew. A few people have changed, but you’d love them. We went out for dinner but… no we’re all just at Frank’s place getting plastered. I… haven’t told them we’ve been in contact. They think you’re dead, Nyl. Or good as.”

 

A pang of regret shot through your soul. You kept forgetting that you left more people behind than just Byrd. “you… can tell them, just don’t give them my contact information. Just in case.”

 

“Nyl, it’s been a year. Unless you’re still nearby, I don’t think the police are going to go through all that trouble.”

 

“Please, Byrd.”

 

A sigh. “Okay.”

 

“Actually, maybe you can put me on speakerphone right now. How’s that for a birthday surprise?”

 

“That’d be a present for them, not me. You jerk, it’s the first time you haven’t given me a birthday present.”

 

“Hey, you haven’t exactly gotten me one either! And anyway, your present should arrive in the mail soon. Got you something off amazon.” you grinned in triumph.

 

“What! That’s not fair! You won’t tell me where you are so i can’t send you anything!” her frustration was undermined by the obvious love in her tone. “... i miss you. I wish you would come back. Without you, things have been… bad.”

 

Your forehead creased as you frowned. “What do you mean? Someone been giving you trouble?”

 

“Yeah, you.” you snorted and rolled your eyes. “Mostly it’s been money stuff. And school hasn’t been going so great either.”

 

You thought long and hard before you spoke your next sentence. “Byrd. if… if you need me, if anything goes wrong… come to Ebott city. The one with the monsters.” you took a deep breath. “That’s where i am. I’m in Ebott.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then. a peek at what we left behind before comin to this city.
> 
> maybe help me pay for college?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> got questions? got theories? got emotions? tell me at my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: back to work


	31. I Hope You Paid Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting hit by a car is finally wearing off! hooray! are you excited to go back to work?
> 
> help me pay for my last year of cooleg?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna see bonus content, including sneak peeks and character asks? come to tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You had been telling a lot of lies lately. It didn’t sit well with you.

 

Click. Click.

 

You never really had to lie much before. Before living alone, there was boss, who you couldn’t lie to. It wouldn’t have been a good idea. And before that, well…

 

Click. Click.

 

But now it felt like you were telling a new lie to the skeletons every day. About the bullet wound. About your occupation. About your friends. About what you did when you left the house. About the people who had run you over.

 

Click. Click.

 

About how much danger would come from being around you.

 

“Jeez Fang, would you stop playing with the damn safety?!” Bones finally called you out. You made eye contact with him and flicked the safety off and on again before holstering the gun, just to annoy him. “I know you don’t carry often, but you should know better than to play with the safety! You end up shooting something, I ain’t taking no heat for ya.” he returned his attention to the road.

 

Only a few days after your birthday, you were on an escort mission, taking some kind of product a couple cities over. You think it was monster food, which is still only sold legally in Ebott, despite monsters being allowed out. You had to sneak out of the house, but it seemed to be fine. No one showed up to stop you, and you think they were all in their rooms or at work. So here you were, in the passenger seat of a van that claimed to work for a 24-hour plumbing service, driving through town in the middle of the night. With a gun. Not like your usual weapons would do much good from a car. This was one from the casino’s armory, since you didn’t personally own any, and it felt like a strange weight in your hand. You’d have to practice with firearms more often. Ugh, if you tried to get the assassin’s pin, you’d have to take sniper lessons from someone. Probably Box. sniping was cool, but actual studying was bothersome. Plus, while you had good aim with most firearms and other weapons, it just wasn’t as satisfying as hitting a person with a staff or a knife. Hm. maybe you were a bit of a freak.

 

“So i hear that Wolf’s gonna get the organizer pin,” Bones spoke up, demanding your attention again. “A few of us thought that might have fallen to you.” he was fishing for information. Pin meetings were supposed to be confidential, but stuff always got out, one way or another.

 

“Eh, that job would have been too much effort for me,” you replied casually.

 

“Being a cleaner more your speed?” well, that was a bit faster than you expected information to travel. It had been what, two weeks? You turned to get a good look at Bones. He wasn’t the gang’s best driver, but Boss had apparently chosen him to drive. According to Wolf anyway. If Bones knew Boss had chosen his specifically, he would’ve been an ass about it. But Boss hadn’t chosen this driver for his skills. No, it was to remind you where your loyalties lie. With his skull mask and nickname, it was a message that these skeletons you were living with were your roommates. You were allowed to have friends, but your gang would come first. Further evidenced by Boss making you go on this job when they knew you weren’t back to 100%.

 

“Maybe,” you finally answered, staying vague. He seemed unsatisfied, but let the topic drop.

  
  
  


Sans had chosen a room on the first floor for a number of reasons. But the primary reason was that he would easily know if anyone tried to leave the house through the front door or the back yard.

 

So of course he had followed you when you left, and was now making short spatial jumps to keep up with the van you were in. he was finally going to learn what your real job was. Just curiosity, he told himself, and making sure you wouldn’t endanger the household. Even though he basically knew the risks of living with you whether you were some kind of fighter or gang member, it never hurt to know more. He wasn’t worried about your wound or anything. You had significantly improved in strength and stamina compared to when they originally brought you home, but you weren’t back to full health yet. Even yesterday he could see the stiffness in your movements when you were getting snacks from the kitchen.

 

But he wasn’t worried. He was doing this for his own sake, and for Papyrus. Not for you.

  
  
  


The others in the car kept up some light hearted banter, some girl in the back started flirting with Bones, and you had to remind her to keep an eye out. You were still in Ushravas territory, but you’d have to pass through Kings land before hitting the highway. But once you made it to the highway, you were home free.

 

“Late night couple walking together. Bet they just left a bar and are going home to a hook up,” one of the guys in the back called out. They were supposed to keep an eye out for suspicious people, but with it being this dead it had turned into people watching. “Ooooh, one of them is a fish monster!”

 

“Interracial couple?” another spoke up, “they better be careful in this part of town.”

 

“If we got this territory i bet we could make it safer for good people.”

 

“Ugh, really?” Bones rolled his eyes. “I think it’s weird. Like, i’m not racist, but we’re entirely different species! People should do other people and monsters should do other monsters.”

 

You leveled a disapproving glare at your driver. “Bones, i have never wanted to have public sex with a monster more than this moment.” you were pleased with his disgusted face.

 

“Yeah,” the girl who had been flirting with him  from the back agreed, “that’s pretty racist man. That like saying you wouldn’t have sex with someone from another country. Or like, an alien. Would you have sex with superman? He’s not human.”

 

“Superman might as well be human!” Bones argued.

 

“You don’t know what he’s packing!” one of the other guys shot back. “Don’t even know what his sex is. Could be some weird kryptonian third sex for all we know.”

 

“Oh come on guys, can we not?” someone else in the back complained, and the others laughed.

 

“Oaky, actually, we are getting close to Kings territory,” you said, “so keep your sex jokes to yourself until the highway.” everyone sobered up at that. Things with the Kings were… tense at the moment. No, that was putting it lightly. Boss had triggered an outright declaration of war, and if the kings knew you were moving product of any kind in their territory, they’d light you all up in a second.

 

The moment you saw that recognizable crown spray painted on a building, the tension in the vehicle became palpable. Everyone was quiet, besides calling out potential threats.

 

“Some guy in a wifebeater and a scarf kept staring at us until we passed.”

 

“Blue truck has been following us for a few turns now.”

 

“Saw a couple guys with the Kings’ tattoo, maybe in the area for fun, maybe not.”

 

“Blue truck left.”

 

“That guy definitely has a gun, but no ink.”

 

“Some guy in a scarf and a cigarette keeps-”

 

“That’s the wifebeater guy from before!”

 

“He’s got ink!”

 

“I sent a message to box. He’s given us a few alternate routes to get outta here fast if we need ‘em,” the girl in the back informed you. The Kings probably already knew who you were, and it was likely they’d attack soon. If they thought you were on reconnaissance or just going to a meeting they’d wait, but if they knew you transporting…

 

Tires screeching, gunshots, screams.

 

“LOAD ‘EM UP! SHARP LEFT IN TWO BLOCKS!” Bones called out his intended direction so that no one would be taken by surprise, and you flicked the safety off the gun. Time to earn your keep. You rolled the window down a few inches, just enough space to stick your gun out and fire at any Kings who had the misfortune of appearing within range. More directions were called out as bullets flew into the windows and sides of the car. Luckily Ushravas was not one to skimp on the necessities, and everything was technically bulletproof. Which meant that the glass didn’t shatter, but it did crack, and the other bullets didn’t make it into the car, but the paint job was by no means unscathed. “We’re almost to the highway!” he called out as he took another sharp turn. You aimed at a pedestrian with a gun and an incriminating tattoo, when you heard Bones shout “FUCK!”

 

You turned to face the front windshield in time to see a row of people blocking the bridge to the highway. They were different genders and ethnicities, and you noticed they were all wearing some kind of necklace.

 

Bones gunned it and ran them down.

 

Except they didn’t go down. Instead, the car ran into the nearest two people as if they were made of stone, crumpling the hood and pushing them along the road, but eventually the people caused the car to slow and stop on the bridge.

  
  
  


Sans watched in shock as the humans stopped the vehicle. He watched them tear the doors off the car. The humans. They pulled out other people from the car. They pulled you out of the car. Some new human in a suit walked up to your group as you and your companions were forced to your knees. He spoke, but Sans was too far away. He couldn’t hear. What should he do? The darker-skinned humans picked up the car with their bare hands, and threw it off the bridge, into the water. The fancy suited man seemed to stop talking and leave. Your group was led the the side of the bridge. What were they-

 

They shot one of your companions. Their soul shattered as the body fell off the bridge and into the water. This was different from what he had been watching before, the high speed chase where bullets flew and lives were taken. You were vulnerable, and could do nothing. The next person in line was shot in the kneecaps and Sans winced as they crumpled to the pavement, their screams audible even from where he sat. he knew he should do something, but he was frozen in shock as the next person was shot in the head. And the next. Then you… they shot your knees, and your scream almost caused him to jump down right then. The last was shot in the head.

 

Fuck.

 

He had to rescue you.

 

He teleported close enough to turn your captor’s soul blue, and then he shortcutted to your side.

 

“Sans?!” You cried out in horror, and probably some amount of pain as he moved to pick you up, to take you home.

 

“hey y/n, fancy seeing you he-”

 

[LOAD]

  
  
  


“We’re almost to the highway!” Bones reassured you all. You took aim again at another King who popped out of a building, but were distracted by Bone’s cry of “WHAT THE FUCK?!” you looked through the windshield and saw a row of people blocking the road. You stared long enough to notice that each of them had a crown tattooed around their necks. Their necks? But the Kings always did it on the arms. Suddenly all the people were thrown to the side of the road just as Bones gunned it, and you all shot past them and onto the highway. You made it.

 

“Hell yeah!” Bones cheered, and the others in the car joined in as you cruised down the open road, merging onto the interstate. “Fuck the Kings!”

 

“What was with those guys on the road though?”

 

“They didn’t fit with normal Kings members.”

 

“Plus their tattoos were on their necks.”

 

“...i think… they were slaves.” the one who spoke up had been quiet, but all chatter suddenly stopped. “Come on, we all know what their real businesses are. And tats on the neck? Like collars. Those were people who were forced to stand in our way, to throw their lives away to slow us down long enough to kill us.”

 

“... should we have stopped?” the girl in the back spoke up. “Maybe… i dunno, maybe we could have saved them.”

 

“No.” your answer surprised them all. You didn’t like it, but you knew you had to make it clear. “We have a mission. That and our lives take priority over strangers.”

 

“That’s cold as fuck, Fang,” mumbled one of the guys.

 

“I know. It sucks, but it’s what we have to do. But you know what?” you threw a glance to the guys in the back, who were hiding their weapons in the removable car seats and wiping the sweat from their brows. “We can save them later. When we have a plan. And i think Boss would be down with that.”

  
  
  


Sans’s breathing was heavy and ragged. He had barely moved those strange humans in time. That LOAD had really caught him by surprise, but he was more than grateful for it. There had been a lot of blood… but why had the kid done that? He’d have to check on Frisk after all this was over. Just as he looked for a good place to shortcut to, in order to keep following the van, his phone went off.

 

**Dusty: there was a load**

**Dusty: scared us. Broke some things. Need a new puzzle book.**

**Dusty: now.**

 

Sans sighed and dialed the number. It picked up on the first ring. “What did you break?” he immediately asked.

 

“Just some furniture and the last book you got us. We need another one now to help calm us down. My poor bro here is going crazy without something to occupy his time, and i’m trying to calm him down but… heh.” sans winced at the uncomfortable familiarity of the voice.

 

“Can it wait?”

 

**“n o.”**

 

Well, crap. “fine, gimme a few minute and i’ll bring you some more books. try not to destroy everything i leave you?”

 

“try not to destroy the fabric of time-space, and i’ll consider it.”

 

There was rivulets of sweat running down Sans’s skull. “yeah, whatever. We’ll talk about it when i get there.” he hung up. he’d have to try and catch you on your way back into town instead. You were bound to come back down this same road, so he’d just have to wait here after his conversation with the other monster. He was fine with waiting. He was a patient monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, does anyone else have a strange feeling? kinda like deja vu. no? just me? ah well, it probably doesnt mean anything.
> 
> buy a new puzzlebook for them at:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> got questions for our lovely characters, or even the author? want hints? got theories? come talk to me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: things dont go so smoothly on the return trip


	32. You Have a Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we do our job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! guess who's leaving japan in less than 2 weeks? its me and im terrified hahahahahaha america is a shitshow right now and i dont look forward to going back. if updates get wonky around the next few weeks, thats why.
> 
> but anyway, last time on the itch: we're back at work, escorting some product out of town. as we passed through kings terrirtory, we were attacked, and a group tried to stop us on a bridge. luckily, for some reason they all moved aside at the last minute. but, they didnt look like normal kings members.
> 
> my medicine costs are gonna double in america, so any help you can give is appreciated  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna get bonus content? stay updated on updates? talk to a fucking NERD? find me on tumblr  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Unloading the stuff was fairly quick, and you counted the money while the others hovered around you, making it clear that you were not to be disturbed until you were satisfied with your findings. By now the sun was long gone, the moon high in the sky, and you realized you’d probably get back with only a couple hours to spare before the royal guards in your household woke up for morning training. The exchange completed, you nodded to your people and prepared to leave.

 

“Hey, Fang.” you turned to face the leader of the other group. A well dressed man in his late thirties, Hangman was fairly well known in his organization. “I heard the monsters might start spreading out now. Even heard a few rumors about a couple families moving to my city.”

 

“Yeah. and?” unlike Ushravas, this group, Jyeshtha, was borderline good. They ran a protection racket, but made up for their city’s corrupt police and kept the other gangs solidly out of their territory. You kind of hoped they would ease monster integration.

 

“Well, what are they like? Good people? Dangerous as some would have us believe?”

 

“They’re… good people,” you settled on. “Got faults just like the rest of us, but worth protecting.”

 

He nodded. “I’ll let my superiors know. Give Boss my love. Tell them i’m still available.”

 

You rolled your eyes with a snort. “Shit man, they’re like twenty years older than you and way out of your league.”

 

“Hey, you haven’t known them as long as me! They took me in first.” Hangman gave a good natured smile. “Guess we’ll be seeing you then. Take care, i heard about the Kings.”

 

Your face darkened, and you just gave him a nod as you all returned to your vehicle and left. You munched on some form of non-cardboard breakfast bar as you leaned against the window, watching the streetlights pass by. You did your job. Earned your pay. Now you could go home and out-sleep Red and Stretch and Sans. they wouldn’t even question it, just taking it as another symptom of your ‘recovery’. True you were a bit sore now, but whether from the activity or being stuck in the car for over an hour was debateable. 

 

Finally the lights of Ebott were coming into view. All you wanted was to be home and rest. You no longer felt frustrated and useless, just exhausted.a couple of the others in the back had even fallen asleep, and you could hear their light snores. You rolled your eyes at that, but didn’t have the heart to wake them up. You envied them, but if you fell asleep now you’d have trouble waking up enough to drive home safely.

 

“Boooones, how much longer?” you whine at the driver, who seemed not to care about the time.

 

“I’ll drive around for an extra minute every time you ask that,” he threatened, and his voice gave away that he wasn’t completely unaffected. “But we’re almost back to Kings territory, so wake up the others just in case.”

 

“Finnnne.” you unbuckle and turn around in your seat to punch the nearest snoozing soldier. “Hey! Target! Get the others up, we’re going through the Kings ag-” you were cut off as Bones ran into something, voice drowned out by the crunch of metal, and you were thrown to the front of the car and hitting your head on the glass with a sickening crack. Oooooh, not good. Your head was ringing and you fumbled with a pouch in your pocket to throw some monster food of some kind in your mouth. Tasted like cookies, why was it familiar? You couldn’t focus on anything yet, but as it cleared up you saw the back doors ripped out and your screaming comrades plucked from the car by someone, or something. You mind told you it was the Kings. You reached and found the gun, flicking the safety off, overwhelmed by a sense of deja vu as your door was ripped open and someone pulled you out before you could aim. The gun was ripped effortlessly from your hands, and you stared at your captor as they pulled you over to the rest of your group. It was a stocky dark skinned girl, and she looked terrified. She was crying, but gritting her teeth to stay silent, and if you had to guess you’d put her around seventeen years old. She had a simple crown tattooed around her neck. She felt so familiar, like you’d seen her, or fought her before, but you don’t fight kids, so why…?

 

You were pushed to your knees, as were your compatriots, as a man in a suit stepped out of the shadows. Out of the corner of your eye you noted that each of your gang had their own body guard with a collar inked to their neck. All of what you assumed were slaves were deceptively strong, but still looked young and lean. You didn’t like how easily they had taken you down. If only you had been wearing your seatbelt…

 

“What, no masks today?” the man spoke. The suit didn’t have a ‘30s mobster vibe’ surprisingly, more like ‘i just came from a fancy party’ vibe. It was oddly out of place in this dirty street, surrounded by bleeding and sweating gang members. “I’m a bit disappointed. You people get so… creative with them.” a group of men began to form around him, but these were much more normally dressed, and sported the crown tattoo around their biceps.

 

“What do you want?” you asked. You were supposed to be the lead on this. On a fucking delivery mission. At least the shit got where it needed to go, not that it was much consolation. “Gonna escalate this gang war already? And it hasn’t even been a week.” he was going to kill your companions. You didn’t know how you knew, but were certain he was planning it.

 

“Well, Fang, for today we want to make a statement. Show your dear Boss that he made a mistake, picking a fight with us.” he pulled out a gun and cocked it.

 

“You started it!” you snapped back before thinking your words through, “you’ve been poking around in our business for months now!”

 

He leveled the gun at your head and you forced yourself to shut up. You wanted sooo badly to keep yelling, but that was slightly outweighed by the desire to live. “No, you started it by killing a king. On our turf, no less! And the survivors didn’t appreciate how they were treated either,” he walked forward and pressed the muzzle to your forehead, “you owe us an apology. Apologize, Fang.”

 

He wouldn’t kill you. Why? Of course he would kill you! There was literally no reason not to! But for some reason, you knew he wouldn’t kill you. Fuck it. “Shove your crown up your ass, princess!” you spat at him.

 

His eyes narrowed. “Forty-three, snap their neck. Wait, twenty seven, make her watch.”

 

Your captor forced your head to the side, to face one of the guys, Target. His captor, a damn kid who had to be younger than sixteen and with no muscle to speak of, held his head between their hands.

 

“Wait, no, please-!” Target said, and the child who held him was crying, but with a sharp yank to the side, target’s neck snapped.

 

“Thank you, forty-three. Now, Fang,” your head was turned back to face the suited man, “apologize.” you glared at him, committing his face to memory. He was pasty-skinned, with a sharp nose and cheekbones barely hidden by fat. Probably in his forties, with brown hair slicked back and teeth too white to be natural. It looked like he had a pale scar on his right cheek, but the lighting was too dim to be sure.

 

Stars, you utterly despised being commanded, like a damn dog, especially by some low life stranger. But your life wasn’t the one on the line. The other four were. “... sorry.”

 

“Good girl!” oh he’d better kill you before you regained power in this situation, because those words made you want to eviscerate him where he stood. And no matter what happened later, if you lived you would remember his face. Well, long enough to kill him, at least. “Since you were so polite, you all get to live. If anyone struggles, kill one of the others.”

  
  
  


There were too many humans with guns, and those humans who were too strong to be normal. There was seriously something wrong with them. Sans flinched when they snapped the man’s neck, but what could he have done? He would’ve been dusted the minute he appeared, and then he’d be no help to anyone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t stood by and watched people die before. He clutched at his jacket. It still pained his soul, even if he knew he made the right call. All he could do for now was follow, and hope at least most of them left you alone at some point so he could get you out. Maybe get your friends out too, if there was time. As he watched the group walk away, he noticed they were leaving a trail. One of the odd humans was bleeding. Except… that didn’t look like the human blood he was familiar with. It was a stark white, and more viscous. Did humans have different color blood? He didn’t think so, but there were more important things to focus on anyway. Like making sure he didn’t lose sight of your group as they entered a building.

  
  
  


The building was grimy, and you were using every technique you had not to lash out and try to escape. Unfortunately, the only techniques you had were a dumb breathing exercise that didn’t work and vivid images of what would happen if you didn’t cooperate, which just made you angrier. What you wouldn’t give to punch one of these Kings sons of bi-

 

“Throw all but one in there,” the suited man commanded, and all but you and the girl from the back of the car were thrown into what appeared to be a kind of holding cell. The door locked and half of the group stood outside the door as the rest of you continued down the hall. You began to genuinely feel nervous.

 

“What do you want with us?” you finally asked.

 

He hummed annoyingly. “To make an example. And you are the perfect person for it.” you were led into a room that made you pale. It resembled a destists office, with a large chair and tables filled with tools. Oh, you did not like this one bit. “Sit,” he commanded you.

 

You were forced down into the chair, you eyes flicking side to side as you thought you saw something in the shadows. This was bad. Leather straps were secured around your limbs and neck to hold you in place.

 

“Well then Fang, see you later.” the suited man sent you a wicked smile, and left the room with most of the people, leaving behind only you, the girl from your gang, her holder, and one Kings man.

 

The latter grinned at you. “About time you get what’s coming to you, brat. You’ve killed enough of us.” you doubted that you’d killed more than five Kings. “You’ll make a good slave.”

 

“wow, i thought you humans were past all that slavery stuff?”

 

“Sans?!” you just stare at the skeleton that had appeared in front of you, who seemed to have startled the other three in the room as well. “What are you- this is dangerous, get out!”

 

“thats, uh, pretty cold for someone who came to rescue you.” as the Kings man reached for his walkie talkie, Sans’s left eye lit up blue and the man, as well as the other two, were flung into the wall, knocking them all out.

 

“Hey! One of those is one of my people!” you protested as Sans sauntered over to undo the straps holding you to the chair. You stood up, rubbing at your sore wrists, and dashed over to the Ushravas girl. Her arm was scraped up from crashing into the wall, but other than that she seemed fine, ironically cushioned by the body of her captor, who appeared to be dazed but already moving. “Hey, you good? We gotta find the others and get out.” she nodded shakily, and you turned to Sans. “can you teleport like Red? Can you get my people out?”

 

But Sans wasn’t listening. He was looking at a spot on the wall where something white and goopy and uncomfortably  _ familiar  _ dripped down from where the collared person had hit. “hey, so, y/n, humans bleed red, right? no other colors?”

 

“Just red. What the hell is that?” you had noticed what he was staring at, although most of your focus remained on the alert, wary of anyone who might come into the room. Your girl appeared to have recovered, and kicked the collared individual back into the wall before taking any weapons your adversaries carried. You took the walkie talkie from the man and took out the battery.

 

“determination…” he mumbled.

 

“What?”

 

“i said, we gotta get you out of here. And then we need to have a little talk.” he walked over to you but you backed away, signaling your comrade to follow you.

 

“We’re getting my people out first.” you looked into the hallway and found it empty as far as you could see. Stepping out, you turned to see if Sans had followed you. The girl came first, handing you one of the knives she had found, which you pocketed. Sans trailed behind her, looking rather disgruntled. “Looks like this door locks from the outside.” you locked in the other two, who were now starting to get up again. They were still slow, Sans throwing them must have really rattled them. “I think i remember where the others were.”

 

“Fang, mind explaining the presence of your skeleton friend here?” the girl hissed. You tried hard to remember her codename.

 

“Venus, right?” she nodded. You remember now, her mask was decorated with a venus flytrap. “I don’t fucking know, but when a magic wielding monster shows up to help you don’t complain.”

 

“i’m not helping you fight,” Sans said, his grin faker than ever, “i came here just to take you home, and if things go south we’re leaving. fighting is too much work.”

 

You rolled your eyes as you reached a corner. A peek around showed two Kings chatting and guarding a door, behind which you were pretty sure you would find the rest of your people. “Venus, there's only two. I think we can take them if we’re fast and they don’t make noise to attract any others.” suddenly, you heard shouting from back the way you came. The ones you locked up must have come around enough to realize the walkie talkie wasn’t working. “Okay, looks like we gotta be fast!” you dashed out, venus right behind you, and tackled one of the men to the ground before he knew what hit him. What was the point of a guard if they weren’t on guard? Amateurs. You punched him once, twice, before he took a swing and slammed your head down into the hard concrete floor. He was struggling to sit up and reach his communication device, but made the mistake of assuming you had taken serious damage. It wasn’t an ideal angle, but you kicked the device out of his hands and pulled yourself up to hit him again. Your head hurt like hell, but you pulled out your new knife and slammed it into the side of his neck.

 

At least, that was what you tried to do, before a blue force threw you to the side. You fell none too gently against the far wall, and the knife flew from your hand. You looked behind you to see Sans with his eye flaming Blue now, one hand still shoved into his pocket but the other seeming to control the force that held you to the wall. “no killing,” he said with a shrug.

 

Before you could do more than give him an incredulous look, the man grabbed you by the hair and pulled you up to take a swing at your jaw, which you managed to deflect just in time, causing him to slam his fist instead into the unforgiving wall you had just become acquainted with. As he screamed in pain and rage, you slammed your knee into his groin, causing him to double over, and brought your fists down on his back, slamming his head into the ground. He lay there, groaning but otherwise unmoving.

 

“Happy?” you asked Sans sarcastically. He shrugged and you searched the man until you found a set of keys. You looked up to see Venus still fighting, her own knife and a gun on the floor a ways away. Maybe your skeletal ‘savior’ has disarmed the others as well. You quickly picked up your knife and pointedly retracted the blade, before coming up behind the other combatants and surprising the man with a hard knock to the back of his head with the butt of the knife, dropping him like a stone.

 

Venus gave a nod of thanks. “Keys?”

 

“Got ‘em.” you unlocked the door and your companions all but flooded out, asking how you got out and what to do next. You were realizing more and more that while you loved fighting, you hated responsibility. “Okay, Sans, we’re deep in enemy territory, how many of us can you get out?” you asked.

 

“look, i really don’t like using it with other people, especially strangers…”

 

You heard shouting and the sound of pounding feet from the direction that you recognized as the exit, and turned and yelled at sans. “Hey, you said you don’t want killing?! Well if you don’t get us out now, we won’t be able to avoid it!” you could see people rounding the corner just as Sans mumbled a curse and pulled you all together for a facsimile of a group hug.

 

And then the shouting was gone, and you were outside in an alleyway. You blinked.

 

Bones was the first to speak. “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!” the others seemed in agreement, and several ran to corners to vomit what was left of their dinner.

 

You yourself weren’t feeling great, even worse than the first time with red. You were really dizzy, and your head was ringing. “Fucking…” was all you could get out before leaning on a wall and dry heaving.

 

One of the others who appeared less affected came up to you. “I just checked, and we’re in the middle of Tale clan monster district, from what I can tell.”

 

You checked your pockets, relieved to find you still had your burner phone tucked into one. “Who still has any weapons or phones?” you called out. It seemed they had all been made to turn out their pockets besides Venus and yourself, who each had a phone. Venus also had a boot knife. It also appeared that no one was hurt too badly, aside from the damages you and Venus took from the fight. “Okay. okay. Venus, call the base and get everyone a ride home. I’m… where’s Sans?” you looked around, but didn’t see the skeleton monster anywhere.

 

“Um, your friend went into the bar over there,” one of the guys piped up, pointing to the building next to your alley.

 

You finally looked to see where you were, and found yourself staring at the sign for Tale Grillbys. “Alright. Fine. i’m going in there for some monster food. You guys are welcome to join me.” they all declined, and you went in. your head was killing you, still throbbing both from Sans’s shortcut and where the man had slammed it into the floor. You touched at the place and your fingers came away covered in blood. Well, that wasn’t a great sign. You just shrugged before entering the bar. It was mostly empty, being past two in the morning, but not completely. Heads turned, whether at the fact that you were human or looking pretty roughed up, you neither knew nor cared. You spotted Sans already at the bar with a drink. Surprisingly, it wasn’t ketchup.

 

“So,” you started as you took the seat next to your house-mate, “you took us out of a life or death situation… and to an alley outside your favorite bar?”

 

He didn’t even bother looking at you. “needed a drink after what you guys just put me through.”

 

“What we put  _ you  _ through?! We were in serious trouble, and you could’ve gotten us out in half the time with your fancy magic!” you raised voice was definitely drawing stares now, but Sans made some motion at the observers to make them go back to whatever they had been doing before.

 

Grillby himself came out at the noise, and crackled at the sight of the bloody human sitting at his cleanly polished bar. You could only assume he would be upset if you got it dirty. 

 

Sans motioned at you. “get her some fries, grilllbz. and put it on my tab.” the fire elemental nodded, and stepped back into the back. Sans finally turned to you, his eye sockets void of light. “I risked my neck coming out to help you,  _ buddy _ , and i’m really not feeling very appreciated. my so-called fancy magic is limited, and i about ran myself dry taking your party of six back here in one go. I haven’t exactly had a relaxing night outside of baby sitting you either, so do me a favor and shut up until i start asking you questions.”

 

You were suitably intimidated. Your fries came and you tried to enjoy the healing you could feel them do, but found you could only focus on sulking. Whatever. He must have had  _ such  _ a hard night, napping and somehow finding you. Shit, was he fucking stalking you? Or tracking you somehow. He was a scientist right, did he like, implant a tracking chip in you while you slept? Or made you swallow one at dinner?! Fuck, now you were just more antsy and irate. You bit down angrily on another fry, waiting for him to speak.

 

After what felt like hours but was probably minutes, Sans spoke. “so... what’s your actual job in this… group?”

 

You sighed. “Whatever B- my boss needs me to do. Usually security or fighting. Tonight was supposed to be security.”

 

“are you paid to kill people?”

 

Your mind flashed briefly to thoughts of becoming a pin. “... no. but sometimes it happens.”

 

Sans nodded and lapsed into silence again, giving attention to his drink. “which gang? What do they do?”

 

“...” would it be okay to tell him? It wasn’t exactly common knowledge, but… “Ushravas. We do a lot of transport mostly, distribution. We sell monster food outside Ebott, for example.” that was a safe one. No need to talk to him about weapons, drugs, stolen goods, and the more dangerous illegals.

 

He finished his drink and took some of your fries. “alright.”

 

You looked at him quizzically. “Alright?”

 

“you’re not gonna hurt paps or anyone, right?”

 

“Of course not. You guys are my friends. My people.”

 

“then alright. i still want more details, and we’re gonna have a talk with red and stretch, but i’m kinda tired. how about we go home and sleep?”

 

“Yeah. that sounds good.”

 

It had been a long fucking night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that sure was an... adventure. what's tomorrow hold for us, now that we've been explicitly exposed? 
> 
> buy reader a coffee (they could use one)  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wanna know what our skeletons are thinking? ask on my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: sans, you're supposed to get to level 5 of friendship to unlock my tragic backstory. but i guess blackmail works too.


	33. You Prepare Yourself to be Judged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our past is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time: we went to work, got kidnapped, and sans rescued us! sort of. he helped, at least. and he has questions.
> 
> we interrupt your regularly scheduled plot to bring you: backstory. featuring angst and sibling love!
> 
> this saturday i take the plane back to america, for my last year of college. i could really use any support you can give me.  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> wantsome BONUS CONTENT?!?!? wanna ask the characters DEEP PROBING QUESTIONS?!?!?! check out my tungle  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

Red walked in from the kitchen and plopped down on the living room couch. “they’re all gone. we got at least a few hours, so what didja want, classic?”

 

Sans looked at Red and Stretch, who were on opposite ends of the green couch he had brought from his home in Snowdin. “either of you notice y/n leave last night?”

 

“what, why?”

 

“she shouldn’t be going out yet!”

 

He took a big gulp of coffee. “so i followed her, and turns out she was going to work. For one of the gangs. Ushravas. I hadn’t heard of it, but shes a guard and a fighter, and got involved in a shootout on her way out of town. Her car got stopped and she got… hurt before the LOAD.”

 

“yeah, that explains why ya didn’t answer yer phone last night,” Red griped. “and you’d better talk to your kid, i wanna know why they did a load and they won’t talk to me or stretch about it.”

 

Sans pinched at his nasal bone. “okay, i’ll check in with them next time i go to the lab. But anyway, when y/n was headed back she ran into trouble and i helped her out. but, uh, while i was rescuing her, i saw something strange. when one of the other humans got hit, instead of blood… i think they were leaking something else. something that looked uncomfortably like our missing amalgamates.”

 

“... fuck,” Stretch finally spoke, slumping against the back of the couch. “someone’s trying to combine humans and amalgamates? did you get a sample?”

 

“i was a bit more invested in making sure our human stayed alive,” Sans growled in irritation. “and that she didn’t kill anyone.”

 

Red snorted. “hey, if you’re in a fight, it’s kill or be killed. humans don’t exactly spare each other that often, ‘specially in gangs.”

 

“there’s always a peaceful solution,” Stretch protested. “sometimes you just gotta put a little effort in, but it’s worth it when no one has to die!”

 

“oh, that’s easy for you to say, with yer pansy-ass timeline and yer picture-perfect family life. why didn’t ya just stay living with yer flawless father, huh? Bet you never even had to go to the dump for all your shit, he did it for ya, so you and little boy blue just sat around eatin’ home cooked meals-”

 

“he wasn’t always that great, and when he quit the lab he left me and sans by ourselves! we didn’t just cruise by on dad’s title, using him to get into guard work-”

 

“that asshole ain’t no ones dad and he didn’t give us nuthin’ you piece a’-”

 

By this point Stretch and Red were in each other’s faces, Red’s left eye burning bright with his namesake and Stretch’s right socket lit with an orange flame. Sans pushed between them. “hey, shove it, both of you. the important part is she didn’t die, and didn’t kill anyone. and she might be able to tell us something about the people who might have the amalgamates.”

 

Stretch grumbled but backed down. “so, she’s really in a gang. better than being a serial killer, at least.”

 

“yeah, her EXP prolly went up from one a’ her activities.” Red hadn’t backed down, now leveling his stare at Sans. “good thing she didn’t get dusted with mr. high and mighty here pushin’ his own sense of justice on others.”

 

Sans growled but held his tongue. “i just wanted to  _ ketchup  _ you guys before i brought her down here to ask any more questions.” his pun fell flat with the tense air, and he stood up to fetch you, until Stretch stood.

 

“I’ll get her,” he volunteered, his hands deep in hoodie pockets. He pushed past Sans before anyone could argue, and made his way up the stairs.

  
  
  


The knocking on your door didn’t wake you completely. The skeleton walking into your room didn’t encourage you to focus. The gentle shaking didn’t make you want to move. No, what made you shoot into a sitting position was vaguely hearing the word ‘fire’.

 

“whoa. guess you’re awake after all.” you met Stretch’s eye sockets.

 

Your brows knitted together. “The fuck time is it?” you mumbled. You body ached from the exertions of last night.

 

“almost noon,” he answered, apparently amused by your sleepy state. “but you gotta come downstairs. Our bros are out, and red, sans and i wanna talk to you about last night.”

 

A glare in his direction made him flinch. “Too early. Not moving.” with that you pulled your covers around you in a blanket burrito. It hid your mild panic well. Fuck! Things were going so well! Were they gonna kick you out? Was Blue or Papyrus going to arrest you? Would they turn you in? Your thoughts were interrupted as you felt yourself being lifted off the bed. “HEY!” you yapped, but Stretch just chuckled. Asshole. Your previously comfy blanket burrito now became constricting, keeping you from properly getting your arms out or kicking. And wiggling did little to deter the surprisingly strong skeleton. You huffed as he carried you, bridal style, downstairs to the others.

 

…

 

It felt almost like being brought as a sacrifice. Blood! Blood! Blood!

 

Stretch put you on the middle of the couch, and Red scooted up to put an arm around you. “so, what’s all that about?” he said, with an amused glint in his eye.

 

You attempted to burrow further into your blanket burrito, but it only caused the fabric to come more undone, making your cocoon nigh impossible to keep together. You let it go with a sigh and leveled an even gaze at Sans. “So. you gonna kick me out?”

 

“nah honey, he ain’t gonna do that,” Stretch reassured you, staring meaningfully at Sans. “we just wanna ask a few things, ‘bout your job and what you know about amalgamates. said you were friends with one that went missing, right?”

 

“i think a few new rules wouldn’t be amiss, though,” Sans was practically boring holes in you with his stare. “just a couple easy ones.”

 

You growled at Sans, who appeared unfazed. “You don’t get to judge me, Sans,” you say. You don’t know my reasons.”

 

“i can’t judge a killer?”

 

“bullshit!” Red tightened his grip on you. “you ain’t some saint either, classic! we’re all killers!”

 

“some more than others…” Stretch mumbled, to which Red growled. Stretch held up his hands in surrender. “but red’s right.”

 

Sans was becoming agitated now. “i don’t think it’s too much to ask her to stop killing!”

 

“Hey!” all eyes turned to you. Good. being ignored didn’t suit you. “I don’t owe you anything! I have the right to defend myself and my people, although right now I’m debating if that should include you. I do my job, I get paid, I give you my share of the rent. I think the majority of the house would be on my side if i asked you to leave me and my job alone?”

 

“actually…” you sent Stretch a look of betrayal. “maybe you could look for a less… illegal job? i’m not gonna threaten to kick you out or anything, it’s just… your LV is dangerously high.”

 

“My… level?” your brows scrunched in confusion.

 

“heh, you really know shit all about monsters and souls, huh sweetheart?” Red shook his head at you. “tsk, we give you humans all this new information and ya just ignore it. damn shame.”

 

“Not in the mood for a condescending attitude,” you growl as you pull yourself away from Red and the remains of your blanket burrito, choosing to sit on the coffee table instead. You look at the three skeletons gathered. “So who’s going to explain LV to me?”

 

“I guess i can-” Stretch was interrupted by Red.

 

“no, let me take this. either of you is just gonna make it sound worse than it is.” Red turns to you. “it stands for LOVE, or level of violence. It’s a stat on yer soul that tells you how far removed you are from the pain you cause others.”

 

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you tried to figure out what that meant, but it just wasn’t clicking. “I don’t get it.”

 

“okay, it’s like… the more you hurt people, the easier it gets, right? you don’t feel as bad when you hurt or kill someone. you don’t feel as guilty, and it’s easier to kill again. LV measures… how easy it is to hurt people.”

 

“one could say it’s how far removed you are from empathy with others,” Stretch picked up. “people with a high lv are more likely to snap, even develop a taste for killing. like an addiction. It’s why the fell clan is having a harder time fitting in. most of them have an lv around three. it starts at one, and usually only goes up through killing.”

 

“these pansies,” Red jerked a thumb towards Stretch and Sans, “still have their lv at one. few in their world get past that, ‘nless they were in the war or the guard or somethin’. guard in my underground were all at least around five. you’re... higher than them.”

 

You were doing math in your head, and figured you couldn’t be higher than six, especially if the guard was a five. But… you had to know. “What’s my level?”

 

“fifteen,” Sans answered darkly. “no one has gotten past nineteen without losing their grip on reality. that would be where your serial killers and stuff are. if i had known your actual level of violence before all this, i never would have let you live under the same roof as paps. i’m still not sure why these guys thought it was okay.”

 

Red snorted. “mine’s eight. few in the underground had higher, and the rest of ‘em took centuries to get theirs that high. i try not to make a habit of judging a person by their lv. and anyway, i provoked her and she never snapped, so i figured it’d be fine.”

 

“and i thought blue would be a good influence. I… it was unfair of me, and i’m sorry, but i kept checking her soul whenever she and blue spent time together. it was dark, but it’s gotten brighter even in the past month.”

 

You shoulder slouched. More soul stuff. Should you even bother asking about it? You were still kind of recovering from the emotional strain of the night before. You had been in plenty of life or death fights, even tied up and kidnapped once, but last night felt… different. Like you’d have lost more than your life is Sans hadn’t come. “Am i gonna have to worry about other monsters judging me by my level?”

 

“nah, most can’t see it without equipment or taking your soul out and getting a good close look at it. even then, not everyone can see it. those of us in this room are the only ones with that kinda skill.” Red’s grin was cocky, but the edges dropped after a few seconds. “but your lv, it’s just a number. your past. don’t have to be yer future too.”

 

Heh. funny. “Well, if i’m already broken, might as well do what pays well,” you said nonchalantly, and the others stiffened. “I mean,” a humorless laugh, “i tried for years to reign in my violent tendencies. I had never even killed anyone until last year.”

 

“what changed?” Stretch asked, his voice quiet. The whole house felt a lot quieter.

 

“What, you want my fuckin’ life story or some shit?”

 

“yeah, think i do,” he said, leaning back and lacing his fingers behind his head. “how ‘bout in exchange, we keep our friend sans here from making stupid rules?” Red nodded, and Sans shrugged.

 

Well, if it would get Sans off your back… these were your friends. They were going to judge you either way, so why not throw all your baggage on this dumpster fire? “Fine. So, I have a sister, my twin. A brother too, but he’s a different story. And our parents… weren’t great. Beat us, emotional manipulation, gaslighting and all that shit. Fancy words from my sister’s therapist. So, as soon as we graduated high school, she got a bunch of scholarships to go to college, and we both moved far away from our hometown and our parents. She went to school, and i worked to support us in addition to her scholarships.”

  
  
  


It had been like you had both always dreamed. You had been saving up for this, selling drugs in the bathroom so you could afford to move into an apartment as soon as Byrd’s scholarship money came in. a friend of a friend sold you a car with broken air conditioning and the radio missing, and you both packed everything you could into it and drove across the state to Byrd’s new college. You found a friend to stay with until you signed the lease on an apartment, a two bedroom place with a kitchen and washer and dryer. Bought dishes and a microwave at a thrift store. Byrd made a budget, and you went around looking for jobs. It was all going pretty well.

 

You crashed on the couch, kicking your shoes into the corner. Byrd peeked out of her room. “Long day at work?” she asked.

 

“Got fired,” you replied. She frowned at you, but you quickly added, “don’t worry, i still have the job at the craft store, and i’ll look for another one soon.”

 

“I’m not too worried about money,” she said. “We’re doing pretty well, all things considered. I have my one job. We even have a little saved up. We could still do christmas. I’m more concerned with why you were fired.”

 

You sighed and sheepishly looked away. “Jake.”

 

She whistled, and smirked knowingly. “Finally snapped at him, huh?”

 

“He’s lucky i didn’t snap anything. As it is, he’ll have a black eye for a while. I mean, it’s not totally my fault, he could have at least made some kind of effort to not be an asshole at work.” Byrd just rolled her eyes and went back to her room to do her homework or something. You found another minimum wage job. But that saved up money was partially from what you had saved up during high school. It dwindled, and the scholarships didn’t cover everything. You ended up not doing anything for christmas besides a small party with some friends. One of the friends introduced you to their pot dealer. The pot dealer introduced you to the meth dealer. The meth dealer introduced you to people who could use your skills.

 

You decided a couple minimum wage jobs weren’t enough. Byrd deserved to have nice things. And you? You were tired of reigning in your destructive tendencies all the time. You could let them out this way. Just a little. Of course, Byrd noticed within a week.

 

“y/n! We agreed no more gangs, no more drugs, no more fighting! Cant you just join, like, a boxing club or something?” she was upset, but mostly she was disappointed.

 

“I tried the fights, but this pays so much better! And im not shooting up or anything, promise. I even make sure they dont sell to minors! You know what our money situation looks like.”

 

She cleared the distance between you with a few steps and embraced you. You hugged her back, knowing she was just worried about you. “Just… be careful, okay? I hate this, but i cant control what you do. Just… no killing, okay? Promise me?”

 

You did.

 

You quit your job, spent more time running with your crew. It also let you spend more time with your sister, which she appreciated. She got depressed when she was left alone for too long, but she tried to hide it so as not to inconvenience you. But you were twins, so of course you noticed every time. She introduced you to her school and club friends. You all started hanging out. Sometimes you had extra money to treat everyone to dinner. You bought videogames, got the car fixed up, and started buying healthier food options. Sometimes you came home wounded, or with blood on your clothes that wasnt your own. Once you had to call your sister to get you from the emergency room of a local hospital. A few times she had to pick you up from the police station, but your crew always had the money to bail you out.

 

“Hey, y/n.” you were with your crew at one of their family’s restaurants. One of the other distributors, Tom, had spoken. “We found someone trying to run a kitchen in our area, and were gonna hit em in a couple days. During the off hours, since we know you don't like killing. You wanna help out?”

 

“We already have three people going,” another, Harriet, said. He wasn't a fighter. “I can't make it, but we were hoping for five. Safety in numbers, but we can still all fit in one car.” he passed you the chips.

 

You took them and mixed salsa and queso on your plate, causing a couple of your fellows to shake their heads. “Yeah, i can make that. Who else is going?” they told you. It was a simple job, though Byrd would disapprove of destruction of property, but most importantly no one should be around to get hurt. You preferred to only hurt people who hurt you first. You took home some extra food for Byrd, and when you got back she asked you to thank Harriet. After getting to know a couple of the others, she had been a lot less worried about your more illicit activities. The day came up, and your sister was at work. Your crew picked you up from a spot near one of your other jobs, and handed you a gun.

 

“So this should be pretty fast,” your leader Kat explained. “We basically just check the place, take anything we can use, and then light it up on the way out. Our recon didn’t see much in the way of security. y/n can pick locks, right?”

 

“Yeah, if they use a key,” you confirmed. “I can’t do combo locks yet.”

 

“That’s fine, i think jerry can do combo locks.”

 

The car was full of light hearted banter as you all drove. Most of the group were around your age, a couple were even college students like your sister. The oldest was a man in his forties. If any average person saw you, they might have guessed you were going to a college party, not trying to burn down a rivals meth lab. One of the guys tried to light a blunt, but another snatched it out of his mouth, saying that you didn't want to be high when they were literally going to be playing with fire. You laughed with all of them, deciding against speaking your distaste for recreational drugs for the umpteenth time. Marijuana wasn't so bad, but you kind of hated that you were dealing meth. But it was keeping the rent paid, and helping with the loans Byrd had to take out. So for now, you would continue to bear it. 

 

You all arrived at a building downtown, that looked for all intents and purposes to just be any other building. There was a storefront for rent on the lowest level, and what looked like apartments on the second floor. You all parked a distance away, and then hauled out the backpacks and climbed up the fire escape in the alley. There was a simple alarm at the window, but Jerry easily disarmed it and you all climbed in. there were cheap plastic tables and chairs covered in papers and chemical equipment, some more organized than others. You all started evaluating the stuff and shoving the more expensive pieces or interesting papers in your bags, dousing the rest in gasoline. You yourself didn't know much about the equipment, and left that to the others. Instead you looked over the papers or for any money that could be lying around. You found a few twenties in various cubby holes, but nothing more, by the time Kat called for everyone to pack up and head out. When everyone was gathered and she was the last one left, she lit a fuse and you all made our way back to the car, unhurried. If you ran or anything you’d stand out, but this way you'd look just like a group of friends going home from one of the many stores in the area. 

 

Wait. that convenience store across the street. That was where Byrd worked. You paused long enough to watch the explosion, a little too close even, as some smaller bits of debris reached you. Kat and the others had turned to watch, but tried to get you to hurry up and go with them, get home before the cops or something showed up. Then you heard the screams. Kat was really trying to pull you now, and one of the others was about ready to pick you up, but you saw your sister, your twin, run out of the convenience store, phone in hand, straight towards the burning building. You threw your comrades off of you as you ran after her. You lost sight of her as she climbed through one of the shattered first floor display windows.

  
  
  


“There was one guy left in the building that night,” you looked over at the three skulls whose sockets were trained on you, caught up in your re-telling of events. “He died there, and i got charged with murder. Could probably have gotten out of it, since i didn't actually kill anyone, but it turned out that place had been run by a much bigger syndicate, and my getting caught led them to my little drug-running crew. They warned me, got me out of jail, and i ran away. Did a lot of hitch-hiking, and ended up in Ebbot. Still hadn’t killed anyone, and didn't intend to. Because of Byrd. she didn't know why i ran away, and i didn't have a way to contact her. Had to ditch my phone and a bunch of stuff so that no one could track me.”

 

“you have a twin…” Stretch all but whispered. “and you had to leave her.” they all looked rather uncomfortable. Probably all thinking of what they would have done in a situation where they had to leave their brothers with no explanation.

 

“but that’s just until you got here. When did your morals change?” Sans said casually, but it still felt like an accusation.

 

You glared at him. “My morals never changed. I just broke a promise. It wasn't like i wanted to, but there was a... situation.”

 

“go on, then,” Red said far too gently. His voice was so soft that you did a double take to make sure he was still… well, himself. He shrugged at your scrutiny, the second of emotion and vulnerability fading. “hey, i just wanna know the end of the story swe-”

 

“WE HAVE RETURNED!” Edges voice called from the front door, preceded by said door practically slamming into the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what do you think of our past, dear reader? this chapter actually took me a while to write because there was a lot, and i ended up splitting it into two chapters. we're not done bareing our soul just yet.
> 
> im going on my last year of college, and i could really use a kofi  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> when i reach 50+ followers maybe i'll post a selfie or something, idk  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: was it really a guarded secret?
> 
> heeeeeeeyyyyyyy sooooooo if i did a bitty story, would you prefer a 3rd person pov or 2nd person with a named reader? why am i asking? no reason. definitely nothing to do with bitties in this multiverse. no relation at all to the secrets being hidden even from gaster in the royal labs. and absolutely does not involve heartwarming healing of both a girl and a number of tiny skeleton monsters.


	34. It's Not Murder, Just Killing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeyyyyy back in america! its even worse than i remembered! but now that im here, might as well make the best of it. theres a lot of problems to face now, most of them monetary, so if you can afford a ko-fi, i could use the help.
> 
> anyway! last time on the itch: after getting kidnapped by the kings and saved by Sans, we tell the judges about how we came to Ebott, and about our twin. however, before we can talk about our time in Ebott, their brothers come home!
> 
> the water here tastes gross. help me buy juice?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> come get bonus content and ask skeletons questions!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

The boys just about jumped out of their seats.

 

“oh, uh, you guys are back pretty early,” Sans says as the first one to recover.

 

“Yes, training was rather brief!” Blue looked around the room. “Are you guys having a meeting?”

 

“YES, WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT?” Edge demanded, crossing his arms. “DID SOMETHING HAPPEN WHILE WE WERE OUT? IT LOOKS LIKE AN INTERROGATION.” well, he certainly hit the nail on the head.

 

Blue and Papyrus looked over with some worry, and Stretch spoke up. “we were just having a… private discussion. why don’t you guys work on the puzzles you were setting up in the backyard?”

 

Red winked at Edge. “yeah, we were just talking about y/n’s hobbies outside the house.”

 

Edge uncrossed his arms. “I SEE. THEN, I AGREE IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE, AND I AGREE THAT IT IS AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY TO WORK ON OUR PUZZLES IN THE BACK.” he began to stomp off when Blue looked at Stretch with a face that was entirely unimpressed.

 

“Ah, so are we finally discussing y/n’s gang involvement?” he said in a no-nonsense tone, daring someone to say he was wrong. There was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Blue with wide eyes and shocked expressions. Then everyone burst out at once.

 

“bro, how did you-?”

 

“Ah, well, i suppose it is past time to bring all this-”

 

“paps, you too-?”

 

“heh, so little boy blue aint so stupid after-”

 

“WAS THIS REALLY EVEN A SECRET-”

 

You sat on the table, eyes flicking between the skeletons as they talked, accused, and argued. You knew that most of them had suspected something, but hadnt realized exactly how well known your so-called secret had been. How had they put it together? Had you really slipped that much? What would they do with this information? Turn you in?

 

“STOP.” everyone shut up, turning to look at Edge. but he only had eyes for you, his sockets narrowed. 

 

You looked down. When had you stood up? You were halfway to the front door. You could keep going. You could leave now, get out, never socialize with any skeletons ever again. But… you didn't want to. You wanted these monsters to listen to your story, and to say that in the end it didn't matter, that they wouldn't turn you in, that you were friends. You wanted their approval, or at least their acceptance. And so you stayed there, straightening your back and staring across defiantly at the tall skeleton, daring him to do something.

 

He waited for you to move, and when you didn't the corner of his mouth twitched into a pleased smile. “MY BROTHER SAID THAT YOU WERE EXPLAINING HOW YOU CAME TO BE HERE. THAT YOU WERE A CRIMINAL FOR A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU BECAME A KILLER.” Blue and Papyrus stiffened, their guesses confirmed. “I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR THIS STORY AS WELL. BLUE, PAPYRUS?” the other two seemed surprised that Edge was asking their opinion, but nodded in assent.

 

Everyone took their seats as you made your way back to the couch, pushing your way to sit between Red and Stretch. It made you feel a little… safer. “So, youll have to ask your brothers later about what you missed, but ill pick up when i got into Ebott. It took a lot of hitchiking, and a bit of fighting, but i mean, i wanted to see the city of monsters...”

  
  
  


You weren't sure what you expected Ebott city to be like. You suppose that, in the back of your mind, you had imagined some kind of fantasy city where magic and machines had mixed, with dirt roads and candle light. But it was just a town. The edges of town was where you saw many monsters, warily eyeing the truck that you were riding in. the driver was a trucker delivering supplies to the local megamart, and you entered the store after helping unload. Not one for begging, you went in and stole a few things to eat before touring the town. There were a few tour groups that went around the trails of the mountain and talked about the ascension of the first clan. You hadn’t really known about clans, or monster kings and queens, and only vaguely remembered that they had a human ambassador. You resolved to join one of those tours later, and walked around downtown. It was really like any other small town, a mix of name brand shops and small businesses hoping to be acknowledged by the occasional passerby or tourist. It was too normal. You had only seen a few monsters in this part of town, and no monster-run establishments. You found you had enough money to get a room in one of the small local bed and breakfasts, and ended up sleeping early and forgetting about joining the tour.

 

The next day, you met Boss. They caught you stealing from a gas station. You weren’t planning on stealing forever of course, you were keeping track of which places looked like they were hiring, especially with summer close. But Boss got to you first, and offered you a job and a place to stay. You didn't trust them for a second, but they looked at least twice your age, so you figured you could take them in a fight, if necessary.

 

“So, why do you look like you haven’t had a good meal in days?” said the stranger, after buying you a meal.

“Why do you wanna know?” you returned. You stayed at least five feet away from them at all times, just in case.

“Got a hunch.” they shrugged. “A hunch that you came from a rough place. That you might need a place to stay. That you might want a job. A hunch that you wouldn’t mind doing some dirty work.” they eyed a stain on your jacket. A dark brown stain, a few days old. Hitchhiking wasn’t the safest way to travel.

“Maybe. What kind of job?”

 

“Is stealing all you can do?”

 

You shrugged. “Some people say i can fight.”

 

“Do you like fighting?”

 

You loved it. “I guess.”

 

“Then we'll start you at the ring.”

 

You didn't tell the skeletons any names, but this is where you met Anny. Boss made the two of you fight to test you, and while you ultimately ended up pinned to the floor, you seemed to pass whatever standards Boss had set. You started getting paid to fight there every week, and to come help clean the place or sell tickets when you werent fighting. The fights weren't pretty, and you counted yourself lucky that you never lost any teeth. While you tended to end up on top due to your speed, durable nature, and your opponents underestimating you, the times you lost were brutal. In the worst one, you had broken a few ribs and cut your lip open, not to mention the various bruises. Anny or one of the medics would clean you up after, and tried to make sure that next week you'd be fit enough for fighting. They were surprisingly professional for working in underground fights, although one once got frisky. You almost bit their finger off. Later you learned they were punished by losing half their pinky. The pay was pretty good, after a couple months you had a phone and some video games, with savings in the work for a motorcycle. 

 

This was when you tried to reconnect with your siblings. You let Byrd know you were okay, although remained cagey on the details. Knowing where you were could put her in danger, and she didn’t need to know the kind of fights you were getting into. Byrd was upset, felt betrayed, and you took her frustration and disappointment. You deserved it. You let your brother know where you were, as well. While not as close to him as you were to your twin, he was still important to you. He was not as upset as Byrd, and your relationship before hadn’t been the best to begin with. He soon became your confidant in your worries about your now damaged relationship with your sister.

 

You were still living with Boss when they asked if you wanted a tougher job, with higher pay. You accepted, and began working as a security guard for small meetings, or sitting in a car with a gun and request to keep an eye out. You didn't know the details of what was going on, but you didn't ask. You worked with others in the same position, and got into a few skirmishes where you always came out on top. You usually refused guns, and preferred to fight with knives. They were good at putting someone out of commission without killing them. When you were forced to take firearms, you always aimed for the legs. You were given a blank mask, and you were eventually asked to choose a codename.

 

“Fang.”

 

“Yeah Boss?” you responded, pausing in your packing. You had found an apartment to move into, and you were ready to move on from sleeping on Boss's couch.

 

“I want you to come with me to my meeting tomorrow night.” they poked their head out of the kitchen to watch your reaction.

 

You raised a brow at them. “The meeting I’m usually not supposed to ask about?”

 

“That's the one.”

 

You became Boss's personal guard after that night.

 

It was during a bust that things started going wrong. You had been one of the top guards for a few months at this point, and while you had a day job at the gangs front, this was your real work now. But while you were on guard for a simple deal, a now-dead gang crashed in and a fight broke out, ruining the deal with a new client. You were fighting with the rest of them, but when your opponent turned and ran, you let him. If he didn't fight, he wasn't a threat, and you could go help the others.

 

How were you supposed to know he had picked up documents from the client with information on both them and some people of Ushravas? Several members were killed and the client was angry. And one of your comrades ratted you out to Boss.

 

“So, Fang. i know you don't like killing,” Boss said in a cheerful voice. You were in their office, and as they walked around your chair they felt… different. They didn't feel like the parental figure that had let you sleep on their couch and share their food. They felt like a mob boss. “But your little slip last time caused us a lot of trouble. I have to make sure something like that doesn't happen again. We can never let someone escape any fight where information was available, from here on.”

 

“Alright Boss,” you confirmed, hiding the shake in your voice. You had never seen them like this. “Im sorry. It was my mistake. It won’t happen again.”

 

“I believe you,” was their response. But they didn't excuse you. “We’re crashing one of their meetings next week. I’m going to be leading, and you’re my guard!” They happily chirped. That was new. Both the tone and the request.

 

“You’re… joining a raid?” Boss was the leader, the organizer, they didn’t do grunt work. Especially not dangerous grunt work.

 

The raid was hell on earth. It was one of their regular meetings, so almost everyone was there. Boss walked right up to the guard and shot them in the head. You hadn’t known that the gang had silencers. After the guards were down, Boss ordered explosives to be set around the building. And then they lit the place up. The fires were quickly doused, and you all went in to take out the survivors. Well, everyone except for you. Boss pulled you aside as you went to follow the others into the building.

 

“Ah, wait Fang. I have a special gift for you.” Boss snapped their fingers and a man was brought forth between two other masked members. “Recognize him? No? Well, he’s the one who got away.” you stared at the man who was alternating between cursing at you all and begging to be let go. He did look familiar. Boss led your small group to a van, and you left the chaotic scene behind.

 

“What are we doing?” you asked, a bit put off by the unfamiliar atmosphere. Something just felt… wrong.

 

“We’re making sure that this problem doesn’t happen again!” Boss still had that unnaturally bright happy tone, and it was beginning to unnerve you. You arrived at an old building, and you all went inside. You were led to a small room where the man was tied to a chair, and everyone left besides you and Boss. They handed you a gun. “Fang, it’s cute that you haven’t killed yet. But with the way things are going, i think it’s time to make sure that detail is no longer an issue. You.” he turned to the man, who was fearfully watching in silence. “Beg for your life.”

 

“Hey, man, you don't have to do this, i got connections, i could help you-” he was interrupted by Boss’s fist connecting with his face.

 

“That’s not what i said to do. I said, beg her for your life.”

 

You looked down at the gun they had given you, very aware of where this was going.

 

“P-please, don’t… don't kill me. I don't wanna die, man!”

 

“Well, that’ll do,” Boss sighed, shaking their head somewhat. “Fang. shoot his shoulder. Either one.”

 

“Um,” you knew it was dangerous to argue, but it just felt… wrong. “Why? Don’t you want me to kill him?”

 

“To make sure you can follow orders. If you can’t, then you can’t do this anymore. You won’t lose all your jobs, but you can’t fight for me if you can’t follow orders.”

 

You liked your jobs. Well, you hated the legal one at the casino, but you liked fighting, whether it was in guard duty or in Anny’s ring. And… you weren’t exactly opposed to hurting this man, it just felt weird when you were just going to kill him soon. It was senseless. Meaningless pain. You shot him in the left shoulder.

 

Thee man cried out in pain, his begging getting a bit more desperate. But Boss seemed pleased. “Good. now, shoot him in the knee.”

 

These were points you recognized, made to both incapacitate and cause extreme pain. There was no reason to do this. You shot him in the right knee.

 

Boss nodded in appreciation, and the man quieted to pained whimpers. “Now!” they clapped, turning back to the captive. “Ask her again to spare your life.” the man was quiet, until Boss dug their fingers into the bullet wound, causing blood to spurt out.

 

“PLEASE! Don’t kill me!” he begged. He didn’t mean it, of course, he knew what was going to happen. But he knew that the torture would continue otherwise.

 

Boss turned back to you, blood dripping off their fingers. “Tell him no.” 

 

You told the man no. 

 

“Put the gun right up against his temple.” 

 

You walked forward and put the muzzle of the gun right up against his head. 

 

“Now take his life.”

 

You pulled the trigger.

  
  
  


“he was tryna’ desensitize ya. make it extra hard this time, so it’d be even easier next time.” Red’s voice was tense with anger.

 

“IF YOU WISH TO BREAK SOMEONE’S CONVICTIONS, MIGHT AS WELL DO IT THOROUGHLY.” Edge drily agreed.

 

“That’s terrible,” Blue whispered.

 

You shrugged. It seemed a lot worse when they put it like that. “After that, killing was… easier. I rarely went after someone with the intent to kill them, but i didn’t pull punches anymore. Whether they were injured or dead… it didn’t matter anymore. It sucks that i broke my promise, and after that… i had trouble talking to Byrd. our relationship got worse. But… now i use that as a strength. If someone is ever a danger to my friends or family… i won’t worry about killing them.”

 

“maybe that’s why your lv is so high,” Stretch mumbled, “that guy really did a number on your perception of murder.”

 

“It’s not murder, just…” you were going to say ‘just killing’. But what was the difference? You killed people. You murdered people. Hell, you were being considered for a position where you murdered people as your job! Thoughts of the pin rose the the front of your mind, and you imagined what it would be like, coldly calculating death for whoever Boss asked. You wouldn’t even fight them. Just kill- no, murder them in the most convenient way possible. Fuck, had you really considered doing that?

 

The room was incredibly quiet as everyone processed your story. You felt… oddly detached. Like it wasn’t real life, more like a story you were reading. As if none of these sins were yours. A skeletal hand touching your arm startled you out of your disassociation.

 

“sweetheart, you okay?” Red looked searchingly into your eyes.

 

“Yeah,” you quickly answered. “Yeah, i just… i guess… i avoided thinking about it?”

 

“I think…” Papyrus was very carefully looking at the floor, deep in thought. “...that you should quit. I think it is hurting you, to do these things.”

 

You shook your head dumbly. “No, i- i can’t quit. Those people are my family, and… i mean, they’ve given me everything i have. I’d have a lot less income, and… and it’d let them down, and…”

 

“We could be your family?” Blue suggested. He stood up and walked over to where you sat, kneeling in front of you. Your heart pounded, and you felt a very involuntary blush appear. “We could be your new family. And we’d never push you to… do anything like that.”

 

You shook your head again, deliberately avoiding blue’s eye sockets. “Look, that’s sweet Blue, but I’m not… a healthy person. I like to fight, to… feel strong, even before Boss… did that. I don’t think I can just… stop doing what I’ve been doing.”

 

Blue gently took your chin in his hand and forced you to face him. “y/n. Listen. I believe in you. It won’t be easy, but you can change.”

 

“Yes,” Papyrus agreed. “Right now, your life… is going down a dangerous path. But! We can help you! It’s what friends do, after all!” He looked at you hopefully. “At least… i know i would be happy if you at least stopped killing anyone.”

 

You kind of wanted to. You wanted to stop killing. Before, it was for Byrd. now, it was for your skeleton friends. Maybe in the future… it would be for yourself. You would make no promises, but you nodded in acknowledgement. Blue stood up and hugged you, leaning over you a bit as you sat on the couch, and you hugged him back.

 

“HUMAN.” you looked past Blue to Edge, who had been uncharacteristically quiet since his first statement. “IT IS PAST TIME WE HAD OUR DUEL.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then, thats backstory. although, i think that only accounts for the first half a year, and we've been here longer than that....
> 
> im considering selling one shots on ko-fi? let me know if thats something you'd pay for.  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> theres some new stories in this universe coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: we deal with new information


	35. Try to Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we fight, and we talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my laptop is in the repair shop, but my lovely roommate is letting me use hers for now. if youre on my tumblr, youll know that my laptop literally started falling to pieces, and the screen shattered. the camera stopped working and i had to turn the touchscreen off, but it was all something i could handle until parts of the screen started going black. so i took her in and im waiting for them to tell me how much it would cost to fix her up. its a great time to donate to my ko-fi if you have an extra few dollars!
> 
> anyway. last time on the itch: our roommates know our secret. they dont like our gang activities, and want us to stop, but for now have chosen not to directly interfere. however, Edge has requested that we fight him.
> 
> have a what if idea? wanna know something about the embassy? donate and tell me your idea, and i'll write a chapter in those side stories!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> you might want to check my tumblr this friday.  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

It was getting warmer as spring slowly began the transition into sumer. Last time you had been in the backyard was when you were playing by the pool, but apparently it had been in use since then. Near the back, where it was mostly level grass, the ground was torn up in sections, the landscape showing plenty of uneven patches.

 

Only Blue and Papyrus had come to watch the match. You stood across from Edge on the yard, watching cautiously. Was this where he gave his judgement? Would this be a friendly duel, or a real fight? You didn’t know. For some reason, you expected him to judge you less than the others, but then why would he bring this up now? You held a small wooden baton in each hand, straps connecting them to your wrist. Edge had summoned one large bone as his own choice of weapon.

 

“So,” you asked, “what kind of rules do we have for this fight?”

  
  
  


Sans, Red, and Stretch stayed inside.

 

“ya happy now, classic?” Red grumbled. “not that i’m complainin’ about knowin’ more about her, but… damn.”

 

Sans resisted the urge to shrink into his chair out of embarrassment. That had really been… well, not what he was expecting. But what had he been expecting you to say? That you were an evil human with no feelings of remorse or compassion? He knew better than that by now. Had met more humans. Things were complicated, and people did bad things for what they thought were good reasons. You couldn’t separate humans into good people or killers. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was just hoping for a convenient reason to hate you. He should never have let you move in with them. They didn’t need a human this deeply invested in his-their lives. Papyrus didn’t need a human friend.

 

Red knew. Where Fell clan had come from, everyone was either a killer, or in bed with one. It was just how you survived. He never had trouble grasping the concept that good people did bad things.

 

And Stretch, well… he was a judge, but he saw things differently from both Red and Sans.

 

“okay, i get it, she’s a killer but… not exactly because its what she wanted. we can’t… we can’t always live the life we dreamed of.” Sans rubbed at his temples. “i guess i just… i didn’t expect her to stick around like this. Befriend everyone. get... invested in our lives. shit, even when i knew she was some kinda killer i jumped at the chance to push her damn wheelchair.”

 

Red grinned evilly. “jeez classic, when’s the last time you made a friend?”

 

Sans looked up. “what?”

 

Red leaned back, lacing his hands together behind his head. “I mean, this is what happens when you make a friend, human or monster. i thought i was the one havin’ trouble adjusting, but at least i’ve made some friends up here. sounds like you’ve been avoiding that kinda thing. musta been  _ bonely _ .”

 

Stretch narrowed his eyes. “it’s almost like you’re expecting a reset.”

  
  
  


You had forgotten how fast Edge moved in a fight. You barely had time to pull up your sticks to block the blow to your side as he was suddenly in your face, his weapon swinging towards you. You twisted his weapon to the side, giving you space to take a step backwards and swing one-two at his side. He knocked down the first swung attack, but took the second that came right behind. You shifted your weight to dodge his next attack, but missed how his foot had come behind your leg to knock you off your feet. You staggered, but turned it into a roll to the the side as his weapon came down where you had been moments before. You feinted an attack at his legs. He moved to parry, but you were ducking to his other side to try and kick at him and knock him down. He reacted too quickly for you, stepping aside and landing a hit to your back. You stumbled but turned into the momentum to dodge his next move.

 

The next few minutes were a series of swinging and side-stepping, each of you getting in a hit every now and then, but largely parrying each others moves. You hated to admit it, but you realized if this match allowed magic he would have had you out in seconds. 

 

All too soon, you noticed that your arms were shaking. When had your stamina gotten so low? You moved to parry another blow, but the large bone staff Edge wielded shifted, and instead the damage was dealt to your unprotected legs. Had you been at peak performance, this would only have left a bruise. But your legs weren’t as strong as you were used to, and your stance shifted just enough for your opponent to push you down, knocking you heavily onto the ground.

 

You lay there, your back on the grass, breathing heavily. Before you could recover, Edge’s boot was on your chest, holding you down. Blue and Papyrus yelled something in the background, but your brain was solely focused on this battle.

 

“DO YOU YIELD?” he asked.

 

Gritting your teeth, you tried to twist onto your side while slamming your weapon against his leg in an attempt to get him off and stand. He easily caught your weakened swing though, and yanked away your stick, throwing it to the side.

 

“I SAID, DO YOU YIELD, HUMAN?” he put more weight onto your chest, causing you to grunt in pain.

 

But you hated losing. You brought your other stick around and grabbed the other end in your now free hand and slammed it against Edge’s leg. He was pushed off, stumbling in pain, but before you could scramble to stand again, he kicked you. This time you definitely heard Blue scream angrily that this was unfair, and Papyrus said something scolding about delicate humans. As you held your stomach, you could tell full well that he had kicked you only just hard enough to keep you down; there’s no way that was his full strength. He used his foot to push you onto your stomach, and this time his boot was firmly pushing into the small of your back.

 

“OH COME ON YOU TWO. SHE CAN TAKE IT. ADMIT YOU LOST, HUMAN.” Edge said to you. His voice was hard, somewhat angry, not like the smug tone you expected.

 

“Okay, okay, you got me this time.” you hated admitting defeat, but you would have bruises all over, and you had barely gotten enough rest after the adventures of the night before. “Can I get up now?”

 

The weight lifted from your back, and a pair of red boots appeared before you. You looked up to see him with a hand out. “YOU HAVE A TENDENCY TO KEEP FIGHTING LONG PAST WHEN YOU SHOULD,” he said as you took his hand and slowly stood. You wobbled a bit, and to your utter disgust, he had to catch you. “YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR LIMITS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE NOT AT FULL HEALTH. YOUR HP HASN’T BEEN FULL OVER HALF THE TIME I’VE SEEN YOU. IF YOU INSIST ON PUSHING YOURSELF LIKE THAT, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BREAK SOMETHING THAT CAN’T BE FIXED.” You glared at him. Where was he going with this? And HP? Was that something they could see like LV? “YOU SHOULD ASK FOR HELP MORE OFTEN.”

 

“I ask for help all the time,” you brushed him off and walked back to the house, the other two coming over to fuss over you. You waved them off, but then they just hovered nervously. “I know there are things i can’t do.”

 

Edge followed. “BUT THERE ARE THINGS YOU CAN DO, THAT YOU SHOULDN’T.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“LIKE FIGHTING AN INCREDIBLY STRONG MONSTER WHEN YOU HAVE HAD VERY LITTLE SLEEP, A TAXING EXPERIENCE THE NIGHT BEFORE, AND ARE STILL IN RECOVERY OF EXTENSIVE INJURIES. DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE.”

 

You winced, but just shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one who asked me.”

 

“YOU COULD HAVE TURNED ME DOWN! PUT IT OFF, COME UP WITH EXCUSES, ANYTHING. YOU MUST LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES.”

 

“My battles choose me!” you snapped, annoyed. You were in pain, especially with the adrenaline high wearing off, and you were honestly still processing the night before. So much had happened, leaving you with plenty of questions and less time for moody know-it-all skeletons. “If you wanna help me, then don’t give me more to fight! Be a friend rather than an enemy!”

 

“I WILL IF YOU LET ME!” he snapped back. You both glared at each other a moment before Papyrus came to stand between you.

 

“Please, both of you,” he throws each of you a worried glance, which you refuse to meet while Edge merely rolls his eyes. “It has already been a stressful day for y/n, and I had hoped you proposed this as a way to relieve stress, not increase it.” He frowned.

 

You missed Reap. He never judged you, or tried to teach you lessons, or talk to you like you needed fixing. You just wanted someone to listen to you. You wanted a fucking hug. Or something. But now you didn’t know what these monsters thought of you. You didn’t know if you could accept any affection from them right now. And as for Ushravas… there would be questions about last night, and you weren’t ready to answer those.

 

“I’m going out,” you snapped, all but running to your bike. You needed to get out. You revved her up and tore out of the neighborhood, vaguely hearing a complaint from some lady walking a dog. Houses passed by, then roads, buildings, until you found yourself at Muffet’s bakery. Something sweet might calm you down. You barely resisted the urge to slam the door as you entered, and got in a line that didn’t suit your need for a quick sugar fix. Your itch had been sated by your sparring, but it quickly built up again with your frustration. Your friends were trying to be their version of supportive, but… dammit. You wouldn’t have been satisfied by anything they said. You wrapped your arms around yourself. Maybe you should’ve gone to a bar instead. Get drunk. Get laid. Take your mind off everything.

 

By the time you reached the front, you realized you hadn’t decided what you wanted. Widow stared at you.

 

“Is everything alright, dearie?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. “You look a bit pale.”

 

“Yeah, just…” you frowned. “There’s been a lot going on. What do you recommend today?” you ended up ordering a small cake and some tea, and sat down at one of the tables to eat. You were staring out the window, picking at your half-eaten cake, trying to sort out your feelings (ugh, feelings) when a familiar voice interrupted.

 

“hey, can i sit here?” You didn’t look at Sans, and chose not to answer him, so he sat down anyway. “i’ve had some pretty awkward talks, but that one really takes the  _ cake _ , huh?” Not getting any reaction, he sighed. “look kid, i’m… sorry i asked about all that. it wasn’t my place. just worried about livin with… i need to keep my brother safe, ya know? and i… didn’t know how safe you were.”

 

You sighed, finally turning to look at him with an icy stare. “I can sympathize with that, at least. Keeping your loved ones safe.”

 

He winced, unable to meet your eyes. Sans hadn’t wanted to come here, but had given in to everyone’s demands to apologize. And this is what he gets. “i can’t say i trust you now, but… i don’t think you want to hurt any of us. maybe i can try and make it up to you. i wanted to talk to you about reaper bird and the amalgamates.”

 

You sat up straighter, your hands clenching into fists. It had been a while since you had a good lead. In the past week Widow hadn’t been able to give you anything, and the only information Cherry sent you was the sighting of the van the day you got run over, a day after the fact. “What do you know?”

 

“well, you’d have to come home. some of this stuff is… sensitive.” he stood up and, after a moment, you decided to shovel the rest of your cake into your mouth, drain your tea, and follow him with a quick wave to Widow. Finally, i could get some straight answers.

  
  
  


This time, all seven of you were gathered in the living room for this talk. Stretch had tried to talk his brother into leaving at first, but Blue made it very clear that missing monsters was absolutely important to the royal guard. It looked like Sans wanted to argue, but a look from Papyrus and he just shrugged and took a seat. You sat next to Red, who put an arm behind you on the back of the couch. You hesitated for a moment before leaning back onto his arm. It felt… nice, to have the physical presence of someone there. It was grounding. You found yourself relaxing even as he inched his arm to come rest across your shoulders.

 

“well, might as well start by telling you what we know,” Sans said once everyone appeared settled. “amalgamates are shape shifting monsters that have… different magic than most. they’re tougher than most monsters, and… there’s only a few in existence. In the past few months, five amalgamates have gone missing, with no clues as to what happened.”

 

You opened your mouth to ask why more wasn’t being done about it, but quickly swallowed your words. It was likely the monsters were doing all they could, and the human police probably weren’t lending any of their resources. “I was following a car that had been seen picking amalgamates up,” you said instead. “That car and a chemical factory it’s been to are the only leads i have.” suddenly, your phone went off. Groaning in frustration and figuring it was from Anny or Boss, you opened it up only to find yet another mystery text. You ignored it and put your phone back in your pocket. “I haven’t looked into the chemical place yet, but-” your text message tone went off again. You pulled it out. It was from the mystery number. Odd. you frowned. “...but i figure with your help we could probably-” again. And again. And again. An odd stench started coming off your phone, and you dropped it onto the table. “What the hell?!”

 

“shit, smells like the battery is burning up!” Stretch called out, and he grabbed the phone and vanished.

 

You turned to Blue. “Can all skeletons teleport?”

 

“No. We cannot. But i think it is best that i find my brother.” he got up and all but ran out of the room, while Red’s arm around your shoulders tightened.

 

“the hell was that?” Red asked.

 

“Some unknown number keeps sending me messages, but they’re all weird squares or strings of numbers and stuff. I tried replying, tried blocking them, but nothing works. I might have to change my number.”

 

“it’s always the same number?” you saw that Sans was incredibly tense, his grin strained.

 

“Um, yeah. I think so. I didn’t exactly check the number every time, but…”

 

Sans stood up. “i’m gonna find stretch too.” he walked out of the room.

 

“Hey! It’s  _ my  _ phone!” you said, pushing away Red’s arm to follow. “What, you know who it is?  _ Please  _ tell me so I can kick their ass for messing with my phone!” When Sans didn’t answer, merely looking into the rooms he passed, you grumble in frustration and crossed your arms. “Dumb know-it-all skeleton. Nooo, gotta be mysterious, leave the human in suspense,” you muttered under your breath. Finally, you found Stretch in his room with your phone, his brother huffing behind him.

 

Stretch turned to look at you. “well, it’s not burning like i thought. but all the files you got from this number are doing something weird to your phone.” you held out a hand and he went to return the device, but Sans snatched it up instead.

 

“Oh, come on!” you protested, but he ignored you and instead began looking through the messages.

 

“this phone is an older model, yeah?” he asked, not looking up from the screen.

 

“Uh, yeah? I mean, mostly all I do is text and stuff…” You tried to look at what he was doing, but it really just looked like he was flicking through all the stuff from the unknown number.

 

“I think this might just be an unsupported font. stretch, can you download this and run it through a wing dings converter?” Sans looked far too serious.

 

Stretch looked at him as if he had just spoken another language. “why wingdings? you don’t think dad-”

 

“no, no… just… i need to check something.”

 

As your phone was passed back to Stretch, you crossed your arms. “Do i get to know what’s happening now?”

 

Sans turned to you. “i think someone’s been sending you information about the missing amalgamates. i don’t know why they’d send it to you, though….” he looked frustrated.

 

You let out a sigh. “Fine. but while he’s doing that, tell me how we can use what we have to save my friend.”

 

“you said some factory might be involved? let’s look into that. see what connections they have. between all of us, we’re bound to find any skeletons in their closet.” he gave you one of those weird skeleton winks, and you groaned. However, despite his jokes, you felt a little more confident with more people on your side.

  
_ Just wait, Reap. I’m coming _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gimme feedback, tell me what you're hoping to see, gimme that sweet validation down in the comments below! dont forget to drink water and take your meds!
> 
> help me pay for college, meds, fixing my laptop.... life is complicated. im looking for a job when i get back from the wedding.  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> special bonus content this friday ;3  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> next chapter: just when we were getting somewhere, we face a horrible setback.


	36. Sans is Having a Tough Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THAT LONG BREAK! lord, so much has been happening what with the wedding, school, new laptop, ect.... but here we are. im back. so!
> 
> last time on the itch: everyone knows about our gang activities, but maybe thats a good thing. now we can be honest with each other, right? the mysterious texts suddenly came back full force, and the skeletons were able to decode it to find a wingdings font. hopefully this new information will take us one step closer to finding the amalgamates.
> 
> buy our poor skeletons a kofi?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> check my tumblr for schedules, updates, and bonus content!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

It had already been a few days, and Sans wasn’t sure how much longer he could stall. He had been taking extra shifts at the lab to stay away from home, but when he did that you would just bother the others. And he was getting worried that soon Blue and Papyrus would give in to your demands.

 

_ “huh. This factory is making a lot more than it should from selling just liquid nitrogen to local high schools,” Sans commented. _

 

_ You leaned over him to look at the numbers on the screen, but you couldn’t really make any sense of it. You stared anyway, hoping it looked like you knew what you were doing. “So what does that mean? Secret sales? Money laundering?” _

 

_ “probably doing sales on the side, if i had to guess,” Red said with a shrug. “Think they got the amalgamates locked up in their basement of something?” _

 

_ “One way to find out,” you growled. _

 

_ “I will work on the search warrant with my human partner!” Papyrus chimed in. “They were already part of the human task force assigned to help us with the missing monster cases anyway!” _

 

_ Stretch placed a hand on the exciteable skeleton’s shoulder. “that’ll take too long. might be best to just let your brother and i handle this.” _

 

_ “hey, if you leave me out like that, i’ll feel  _ bonely _ ,” Red said with a grin. _

 

_ Stretch stared at him. “we’re trying to avoid killing here. you an’ your bro should stick with your embassy work.” _

 

_ Edge scoffed. “MY BROTHER AND MYSELF ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF RESTRAINT. AND WE ARE OBVIOUSLY THE ONES MOST SUITED FOR THIS KIND OF WORK. THE REST OF YOU ARE TOO SOFT. AND WHILE WE MIGHT BE SKIPPING OVER SOME HUMAN LAWS, OUR FIRST DUTY IS TO MONSTERKIND, IS IT NOT?” he addressed Papyrus with this last statement. _

 

Sans rubbed at his temples as he downed another drink, motioning for a refill. Grillby gave him a worried look, but complied. You and Edge seemed to be itching for a fight, while Sans and Stretch just wanted to do some recon first. Red could go either way, but he sided with his brother by default, while Blue wanted to join his brother in whatever happened and Papyrus was still unconvinced that they needed to do anything illegal. But it seemed you would be able to rope him into it, surprisingly. You had been stomping around the house for the first day, but had been somewhat subdued after coming home from work the day after. Sans guessed something had happened, but you deflected any questions with demands for action on the information they had now. You seemed frustrated with not being able to do anything. And then there was the whole debacle with the second information...

 

_ “Coordinates?” Sans asked. “For what?” _

 

_ “dates and times, too,” Stretch added. “i pulled up a map on the internet to see where they lead to, but about half are in the monster districts and the other half are on the outskirts of town or in the neighboring city. No correlation i could find, most of the places are just out on the street. Some are in buildings, and i made a list of what those places were.” Stretch handed Sans some sheets of paper with all the information written out, both in Wingdings and normal alphabet. “So, wanna tell me why this is in wingdings?” _

 

_ “dunno yet,” Sans waved him off, “but i’m gonna find out, even if i have to work to the  _ bone _.” he winked. _

 

_ Stretch didn’t give him his usual chuckle. “I understand hiding some things from y/n, or even red, but i don’t appreciate you shutting me out, too.” _

 

_ Sans sighed, scratching at the back of his skull. “i’m not trying to shut you out. This is just… something personal.” _

 

_ “we all have a special relationship with wingdings, classic.” _

 

Why now, of all times? Why was he reappearing now? And how, for that matter? Things had gone differently in the other timelines, and so far he was only missing in the Tale clan… things were just too complicated. Sans swirled his drink in his hand, staring into the liquor as if he could find answers there. Everything was complicated since they moved in with that human. It was a stupid move, he never thought you would go for it, let alone last this long and bring all these troubles. Humans were unpredictable. Always changing. And yet you were trying to balance your loyalties, to your… outside activities, to your new monster friends, to your old monster friends, to yourself… he sipped at his drink. The bar was full of laughing patrons, many talking about recent trips outside the city, the latest gossip from the embassy, Napstablook’s latest concert, or the new bitty monsters that many had taken in. In this bar, so much bigger than the original, the classic regulars of Snowdin mixed with monsters originally from the Capitol and even some from other clans who preferred the warm atmosphere of this place to what was available in their districts. Fell clan monsters joked with swap clan monsters about Happstaton music videos. The scarf mouse was serving drinks to a table of humans and diamond heads from the Capitol. Chara was here, walking up to the bar. 

 

Wait. 

 

“hey kiddo,” Sans greeted as the human walked over to him. “what are you doing here? and aren't you not supposed to go out alone? especially after that stunt frisk pulled.”

 

Chara crossed her arms, frowning. “I go where i please. But, um, you and my Papyrus live together, right? And Risky’s Sans?”

 

Sans began to sweat. This didn't sound like a good sign. “yeah… why?”

 

“well, um,” the kid fidgeted. They really looked like a child, uncertain and insecure. “... do you have room for a couple more?”

  
  
  


You’re not one hundred percent sure how you ended up back at the monster embassy. But there you were. At the embassy. in the training field. In front of Undyne.

 

“You sure your human can handle this?” Undyne aske Papyrus, a huge sharp-tooth grin on her face, her one yellow eye trained on you. If you weren’t a disciplined fighter, you would have cowered under that gaze.

 

As it was, you just stared right back with a smile of your own. “I can take whatever you can dish, fishsticks,” you challenged.

 

“Fuhuhu! You got guts!” she pounded her chest. “Show me what you got, then!”

 

You didn’t notice Papyrus shifting nervously as you fixed your stance and delivered a punch straight to Undyne’s chest, causing her to stagger back a bit, wide eyed. For a second you wondered if maybe you should have held back, but the fish monster just laughed.

 

“Oh man, good one punk! I didn’t expect you to actually have some strength! Fine, she can train with us.” Papyrus cheered, and Undyne started walking away.

 

“Wait, training?” You looked to Papyrus, a bit lost.

 

“I asked Undyne if you could try royal guard training!” Papyrus replied happily, following after Undyne. “Come on, let’s get you in armor! We wear a different uniform when we are actually on guard, but Undyne says training in armor helps build up strength faster! I’m not sure if that’s because it’s heavy, or magic…” he picked you up as you had frozen, your brain still trying to process things. You were brought into a room where Undyne and several other monsters were already putting on shining metal suits.

 

“Papyrus!” Undyne called out, “I think she’ll fit in the same size as lesser dog!”

  
  
  


When Sans first met Stretch and Blue, it had been shocking and awkward. But everyone had gotten along. Meeting Red had been less smooth, but things calmed down once everyone talked it out. That other guy, well… but now, his eye lights widened to comic proportions as Sans peeked into the room holding the two monsters that Chara was asking him to host.

 

“no way.”

 

Chara and Frisk stared up at him with faces that didn’t belong on children.  **“This clan has been here overnight. They’ve been through some really bad times, and moms and dads have agreed that they are going to stay with monster host families until they can adequately pass a psych evaluation.”**

 

“They’re worse off than the Fell clan!” Chara whispered. “They… well, the things some of them have done, we can’t let the humans know. We’re only telling most monsters on a need-to-know basis. Everyone’s had it rough, but the snowdin monsters…”

 

**“The snowdin monsters ate fallen humans. Under the guidance of their Sans.”** Frisk bluntly stated.

 

“ w h a t .” Sans backed up, sweating. “that’s- no- there has to be some kind of mistake… and if there’s not, i definitely don’t want this guy in my house.” the skeletons he had seen through the crack in the door were hard to think of as alternate versions of himself and his brother. The Papyrus was tall, even taller than his own brother, but his bones were full of scratches and his eye sockets were shrunken, and his teeth… his teeth were  _ bleeding _ . And broken, crooked and far longer and sharper than they should be. The Sans, well, he had fewer marks on him. In fact, he had no immediately visible marks save the giant crack in his head, showing a dark void where one might expect to see the inside of a skull. His right eye socket was empty, and the left… the left was filled with a giant red eye light. But it wasn't like Red’s red eyes. Or like anyone's. It felt different, off, wrong. He didn't want these guys in his house. 

 

**“Sans. If you don't volunteer, they'll just be placed with someone else. Someone who doesn't** **_understand_ ** **.”** Frisk’s words cut deep. Whatever happened to this universe, it was bad. Would this skeleton be safe with just a normal monster family? Would a normal monster family be safe with him? Sans thought back to when the fell clan first surfaced, violent and eager to lash out. 

 

He heaved a great sigh. “fine. might as well introduce myself.” he hesitantly opened the door to the room. Immediately, that red eye picked on to him, narrowing in surprise. 

 

“well,” the new Sans said, “they told us the situation, and i saw the toriels, but seeing another version of yourself really is an out of body experience, huh?” Being closer, their differences were even more apparent. This version was a little taller than Sans, but his bones were much thinner, almost fragile looking. Dust fell off the edges of the cracks in his skull occasionally, falling into the void within. 

 

Sans winced sympathetically. 

 

“WOWIE!” This new Papyrus now had his attention. “IT'S ANOTHER YOU, BROTHER!” This distorted version of his brother strode up to Sans, easily picking him up and examining him. While his brother holding him usually made him feel safe, this made him feel distinctly uncomfortable. “HE'S SO CLEAN! AND WELL FED!”

 

“heh. yeah.” How was he supposed to respond to that?! “so, i, uh, heard you guys need a place to stay? figured you might feel more comfortable staying with all the other skeletons.”

 

“well aren’t you just a  _ bone-ified  _ good samaritan,” the cracked-skull Sans said. His smile was unnerving, but Sans wasn’t sure if it was because how unnaturally wide it stretched, or because the differences he could see in Blue or Red weren’t there; it was too similar to his own. “we’d have to be  _ crazy  _ to pass that up.”

 

Sans laughed nervously, hoping this Papyrus would set him down soon. “yeah, well, i figure you and i have a lot to talk about. and, um, papyrus here might want to meet the other royal guards. you guys should probably, um, choose nicknames, though.”

 

“nicknames?” that one red eye narrows. “why?”

 

“IF I GET A NICKNAME, I WANT IT TO BE ‘THE AMAZING AND WELL-LOVED PAPYRUS, MASTER OF PUZZLES’!” with a firm nod, the incredibly tall skeleton put Sans down, much to his relief.

 

“um, you’ll be living with different versions of yourselves, so, we can’t all use the same name. Right now the others use stretch, blue, red, and edge. you’ll get to meet em soon. but, um, you can’t use sans or papyrus. me an my bro use those, since this is originally our timeline.” this new Papyrus appeared to be re-thinking his nickname, and the cracked Sans seemed to be thinking as well. But Sans knew his own tells, and the tension in his double was clearly visible.

 

“HMM, IF I CANNOT CALL MYSELF PAPYRUS, HOW CAN I THINK OF AN EQUALLY AMAZING NAME? I DO NOT FEEL LIKE A COLOR WOULD SUIT ME… AH, BUT PERHAPS THIS IS FINALLY A PUZZLE DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO PROPERLY CHALLENGE THE GREAT PAPYRUS?!”

 

“i’m sure you can think of a  _ killer  _ nickname, paps,” the cracked-skull sans said with a wink, to which his brother glared at him. “maybe i’ll just go by skulls.”

 

“WHAT A LAZY NICKNAME! YOU DIDN’T PUT ANY EFFORT INTO THAT AT ALL!”

 

“what can i say,” Skulls shrugged, grin never falling, “i’m  _ starved  _ for inspiration.”

 

“NYEH! WELL, I’M THINKING A GOOD NAME MIGHT BE ROMAN. AT LEAST IT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE A NAME!” Roman nodded decisively. “... IF I THINK OF A BETTER ONE LATER, I CAN CHANGE IT, RIGHT?”

 

Sans nodded. “yeah, course. so, uh, you guys okay with staying with us?”

 

“I THINK YOUR OFFER SOUNDS WONDERFUL, OTHER SANS!” Roman declared. “RIGHT, BROTHER?”

 

“sounds like a  _ skele-ton  _ of fun.”

 

Sans tried to casually wipe some sweat from his skull. This was going to be a long day. He sent quick messages to his roommates, exhausted already. There were one or two rooms left on the second floor, or maybe it’d be better to have them on the third? If they were dangerous, it would be easier to keep track of them if they were there… yes, there were several guest rooms there. That would work.

  
  
  


When Stretch was preparing the guest rooms, there wasn’t exactly a lot to work with. They didn’t have spare beds. Eventually he remembered that the sofa he and Blue had brought was supposed to be able to transform somehow, but he couldn’t find any buttons or switches on it, so he gave up and just piled all their spare pillows and blankets into one of the spare rooms. If it was another version of himself and his brother, this would probably be fine until they could all go shopping. They could probably scrape together enough for a couple beds between the three of them, and y/n always seemed to have enough money for nice things. How much did you make, being in a gang? Was that even something he wanted to think about?

 

Stretch paused, thinking he heard the door, and went down to the second floor to peek over the balcony at the new monsters. His skull paled. This Papyrus was enormous. All the versions of himself he had seen had been taller, taller than most humans and on par with Asgore, but this creature would tower over even the kings of the clans. And the Sans… stars, Stretch wanted to hurt whoever put that hole in his head. This Sans was large, probably taller than red, but his bones were thinner, and looked brittle. The crack in his skull left open a large portion to the elements, and it looked as if dust fell from the edges as this new face scratched at his skull.

 

Skulls looked up, locking his one good eye on Stretch’s face. “huh. one of the new roommates, i presume?  _ knife  _ to meet you.”

 

“uh. nice to meet you too, pal.” Stretch couldn’t help wondering why that smile that seemed so natural on the others look so menacing on this guy. This was worse than when Red showed up! “so, we don’t have any spare beds for ya yet, so i just piled up a buncha pillows and blankets in one of the third floor rooms for now.”

 

“tori said people housing the new guys will get funds for stuff like that,” Sans chimed in.

 

“right. good. so, what are you guy’s names? the one’s you’ll be usin’ here, anyways.” Stretch felt awkward looking down from the railing, so he moved down to the first floor.

 

“I AM GOING BY ROMAN FOR NOW, UNTIL A BETTER NAME PRESENTS ITSELF!” Roman declared. “AND MY BROTHER HAS UNCREATIVELY CHOSEN SKULLS. WOWIE, IT SURE IS STRANGE TO SEE SUCH A VERSION OF MYSELF! YOUR CLOTHES SEEM FAR TOO PLAIN TO BE ANOTHER VERSION OF MYSELF!” He leaned down to examine Stretch’s outfit, causing the other skeleton to reflexively take a step back. Those teeth… they were huge and crooked and… bleeding?!

 

Stretch winced a little, but didn’t see the narrowing of Skulls’ one good eye light. “yeah, i’m uh, from a different timeline. where apparently a lot of monster’s personalities were… swapped around? so my bro would be more like you than i would.”

 

“I SEE! WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO BEFRIENDING YOU ALL, AND GETTING TO LIVE ON THE SURFACE PEACEFULLY! IT’S SO EXCITING TO NOT HAVE TO KILL HUMANS!” Roman grinned, his tiny sockets crinkling in excitement.

 

Sans began to sweat. He was not looking forward to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP YA WANNA KNOW HOW LONG IVE BEEN WAITING TO ADD HORRORTALE THE ANSWER IS VERY LONG. here we go. why did these guys appear? why now? will there be more? yes. yes there will. and from now on, be on the lookout for polls to determine which clan next makes an appearance! ;3
> 
> buy our horror babies a kofi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> muahaha those of you who check my tumblr will have already known that horrortale was coming!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/


	37. Well, At Least Dinner Tasted Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinnertime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey i'm back! you like updates? you like angst? you like horrortale? me too bro!
> 
> last time on the itch: Sans is still trying to figure out things from the info you gave him, but you just want to move forward and go see the place you think might hold your amalgamate friend. a new clan has emerged from the mountain, and the pacifist children have talked sans into taking home the sans and papyrus of this new timeline. 
> 
> get ready for a bunch of stuff to go down.
> 
> HEY! kinktober is coming up and i'm doing kinktober: The Itch edition! come give me requests and ideas!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> and, well, a lot has happened,and i'm currently jobless and trying to get my insurance back. if you could hit up that ko-fi link on my tumblr, i'd really appreciate it. i have fibromyalgia, and i cant walk or really function well at all off my meds. i have five days of medication left. its... a bit worrisome.

You had spent all day training with Undyne. Even when Papyrus left to do his shift, you somehow got caught up between Undyne and Sahme, who insisted Undyne was going too easy on you, and tried to bring your soul out into the encounter. Luckily, Undyne tackled her and tried to tell her that she couldn’t just start soul encounters, which turned into a brawl, cheered on by several squadrons of the royal guard, from various clans. When you had tried to sneak away, one of the dogs that you think was from Fell Clan growled at you threateningly until you began playing fetch with various weapons, but then all the present members of the canine unit began to bring you things to throw. You ended up throwing things, fully clad in hot metal armor, until you laid down on the grass of the training grounds and refused to move. But then the dog monsters had begun barking up a storm, until Undyne came over and asked if you were ‘falling down’, which you remembered was some form of monster sickness. After carrying you to alphys in the royal labs to make sure you were, in fact, alive, Red had insisted he take you home.

 

Finally out of the armor and leaning heavily on your roommate as you walked out of the embassy, you thanked Red profusely for saving you. “Does she just assume humans have limitless energy?!” You demanded as someone waved goodbye to Red and you were back outside in the hot dry air. You almost went back into the embassy, just for the air conditioning. Suddenly, you realized just how much sweating you had done today. “Sorry if I stink, by the way. Human sweat or whatever.”

 

Red just chucked. “human were always rumored to be stronger than monsters, so sometimes there are certain… expectations.” He had been more than amused when the royal guard members had burst in with you. Plus, it gave him an excuse not to work on the blue machine with Gaster.

 

Your mind flashed back to when the excitable monsters had brought you to the lab. When you had stormed into the lab, one of the scientists with stark white skin and cracks on his face had a tiny skeleton monster riding on his shoulder, and there were a small lizard monster talking excitedly with a fish monster that looked a lot like Undyne and Sahme. “Hey, who was that weird spooky guy, and was that a tiny skeleton with him? It was freaking adorable.”

 

“you want one? apparently they're small monsters looking to be adopted. not enough skeletons for you yet?” 

 

“Fuck, I can barely handle you guys as it is. Always causing trouble and breaking me out of hospitals. Man, how far are we from home?”

 

“not far.” You looked up and found yourself right outside the house. Damn teleporting skeletons. “heh, convenient, innit? ‘specially when yer  _ bone _ tired. ”

 

“Yeah yeah, you guys have super cool powers and I'm a human with a knife.” You tried to let go of him to get the door, but he just held onto your waist tighter, getting it for you. “Dude, I could've gotten it myself, i'm not that tired-” You cut yourself off as you took in the people in the living room. Stretch was leaning on the railing at the bottom of the stairs, looking very worried. Sans was standing around, shifting nervously. Papyrus was in the living room as well, looking different and bigger and kind of beat up. Sans was staring at her, looking bigger and downright spooky-THOSE WERE NOT SANS AND PAPYRUS WHAT THE FUCK. “Who the hell is that?!” you asked, very politely.

 

“I AM THE GREAT ROMAN, AND IT IS LOVELY TO MEET YOU SMALL HUMAN!” And suddenly you were swept up in a hug that you were not expecting. You tensed up, uncomfortable with this newcomer simply picking you up and hugging you, and angry at yourself for getting picked up so easily. You were a tough fighter, and not to be taken lightly, dammit! 

 

The Sans look alike was much taller than the moody skeleton you had come to know, although his bones somehow seemed thinner and more frail. He had a crack in the left side of his head, and one giant red eye light. “call me skulls,” he said with a grin, just staring at you. “ _ knife _ to  _ meat  _ you.” 

 

Sans, your Sans, shot him a sharp glare. “skulls, roman, this is our human roommate we were telling you about. y/n, these are… our new housemates. another clan came out of the mountain, and they need a... safe place to stay.”

 

“Well would you mind putting me down?” you asked the giant holding you. Somehow his hold felt different from the smothering yet comforting embrace of Papyrus. It felt tighter, almost possessive in its intensity. He froze for a second, before dropping you. You fell ungracefully to the floor. 

 

“APOLOGIES! BUT I HOPE WE CAN BECOME GOOD FRIENDS!” Roman said cheerily as you stood up, rubbing your sore ass.

 

“... Yeah, same. So whose turn is it to do dinner? I'm starving.” you thought it was Stretch’s turn, so you looked to him. You didn't see the lights go out in Skulls’ eyes until he spoke again. 

 

“s t a r v i n g, huh? kid, I guarantee you don't know the meaning of the word.” You looked over, startled at the intensity of his expression. Slowly, his one red eye light faded back into view. “heh. sorry, could say i'm a bit… passionate on the subject of food.”

 

You didn’t like this guy. And you really didn’t like the way he stared at you, unblinking, with that red eye light. Red’s eyes were red as well, but they were different. They were a soft dark red, like wine. But this eye was a bright red, like fresh blood. Or a laser pointer. A laser pointer that you could practically  _ feel _ focusing in on your soul. Even when you felt Sans judging you, you didn’t feel… like this. What was it, this unfamiliar feeling? Not necessarily being judged, or looked down on, it was more than that, it was…  _ like prey _ . “I… guess your clan didn’t have much to eat,” you said, trying to cover up the uncertainty in your voice. You didn’t feel safe.

 

You would have trouble sleeping tonight.

 

“heh. something like that.” He was still staring at you. Everyone else was staring at him.   
  


“IF YOU LIKE,” Roman cut in, breaking the tension, “I CAN COOK FOR TONIGHT! IF YOU SHOW ME YOUR KITCHEN, I’M QUITE GOOD AT SPAGHETTI!”

 

“uh, sure,” Sans said, sweating (why was he sweating?). “but, er, keep it vegetarian, will ya?”

 

“CERTAINLY! LAZY ME, COME SHOW ME WHERE THINGS ARE IN THE KITCHEN!” Ignoring Stretch’s protests, he dragged the other skeleton by the arm into the kitchen. Stretch actually looked uncomfortable, and you wondered if you should interfere. However, even if you didn’t get shivers just thinking about turning your back on this new guy, Skulls, Red wrapped an arm around your waist.

 

“so what was your universe like, then?” Red asked. You weren’t sure how you felt about him being so grabby. It irritated you that he thought he could get away with anything, but… it did feel nice to have him show affection. Why was that nice? You were probably just touch starved. Yeah. You should probably call up Anny to… hang out sometime. Okay, to fuck. You needed a good fuck to stop all these more fluffy feelings. Butterflies in the stomach and shit like that. You had been feeling it far too often.

 

Skulls finally broke his stare to let his eye flick from the hand on your waist, up to Red’s face. “... she your mate or something?” While most of the boys didn’t need to move their mouth to speak, they were still pretty expressive. But the only thing that seemed to change about this skeleton was his eye. Wait. Mate?

 

“not yet,” Red said with a shrug. You shoved him violently off, but he just laughed, looking at you with an expression you didn’t like. “hahaha! she’s nice and feisty, so i’m workin’ on it.”

 

“I’m! No one’s! Mate?!” you turned to Sans. “You guys actually use the term mate?”

 

A soft blue blush creeped up. “Well, it’s one of the more traditional terms, so yeah. We were underground, so none of us really knew that humans had begun associating the term mostly with animals…”

 

“... if she’s not anyone’s mate, why are you living with a human?” The bluntness of the statement was what threw you for a loop. Skulls was back to staring at you, and that smile felt distinctly unfriendly.

 

“... she’s okay.” Sans said. The tension in the room was think enough to cut through.

 

“yeah, pal, what’s your problem?” Red growled, slowly moving between you and the other monster.

 

“no problem,  _ pal _ . just thinking about every other human i’ve encountered. this one… feels stronger.” his eye slid to Red and back to Sans.

 

“well, this one’s ours,” Sans said with a shrug. It was amazing how casual he was acting, although you could see sweat beading on his skull. “so unless you wanna have a bad time… hands off.”

 

Finally, skulls relaxed with a shrug of his own. “fine. Was just saying.”

  
  
  


Tap-tap-tap.

 

Dinner smelled delicious.

 

Tap-tap-tap.

 

But no one had taken a bite yet.

 

Tap-tap-tap.

 

“WELL?! PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU ENJOY IT!” Roman said, and for a second he looked just like Papyrus, eager to please and excited to share. It was… weird how similar they were. Your mind again flickered back to that one idea, that they were all from different universes…

 

Tap-tap-tap.

 

But it was hard to concentrate on that, or any thought, for too long. Skulls’ fingers beat a steady, grating rhythm against the dining room table, and he was still staring right at you. He always seemed to be staring at you, except for the brief moments when he was introduced to the others.

 

Tap-tap-tap.

 

And everyone else seemed just as uncomfortable, besides the new skeletons. They were all kind of staring at their plates, and Blue shifted his noodles around with a fork. Finally, Red bit the bullet and took a forkful of the noodles. You watched as he paused. Come to think of it, you didn’t often see these skeletons chew. Had he swallowed the bite already?

 

“damn, those are some good noodles,” Red said. 

 

And, like a spell had been lifted, everyone began to eat, showering Roman with compliments. As table talk went on, you found that they really were good noodles. just short of Papyrus’s skills, in fact. And Roman did seem to be a genuinely good guy, although there were things he talked about that you didn’t quite understand, like freebies and blue snow. Although even louder than Edge, you found yourself liking him. The only damper on the evening was Skulls. You didn’t see when he ate, but his food was gone the next time you looked at him, and he continued to stare at you throughout dinner.

 

It was your turn to do dishes, but Roman had insisted on helping. As you rinsed and loaded them into the dishwasher, he had switched to cleaning the kitchen.

 

“So, are… you guys excited to be on the surface?” you asked, unsure how to act around this new skeleton.

 

“EXTREMELY! IT IS ODD THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF MYSELF FROM OTHER TIMELINES, BUT I AM SO EXCITED TO BE OUT HERE!” Roman exclaimed as he went about wiping down counters.

 

“What do you mean by different versions?” surely… it was just a conspiracy theory, right? There were plenty of those: that the monsters had come from space, or hell, or the clans were all secretly humans transformed, or that they were from alternate universes.

 

“THE WAY IT WAS EXPLAINED TO ME, THE MOUNTAIN HAS BEEN CONNECTING TO OTHER TIMELINES SOMEHOW AND BRINGING DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF MONSTERKIND TO THIS PLACE! THAT’S WHY THERE’S ME, PAPYRUS, BUT ALSO THAT YOUNGER VERSION OF ME, AND THE LAZY VERSION ON ME, AND THE RATHER SPOOKY VERSION OF ME WITH INCREDIBLE FASHION SENSE.”

 

“You’re… Papyrus?”

 

“YES!”

 

That… couldn’t be true. Alternate timelines? Converging universes? But… why could magic be real and not… whatever this is? “But then… if you’re all the same person, why are you so different?”

 

“I ASSUME OUR WORLDS WERE ALL SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. I’VE READ ABOUT THAT IN SOME OF SA-SKULLS’ BOOKS BEFORE, ALTHOUGH IT DIDN'T PARTICULARLY INTEREST ME. FROM WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IN THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS, THE TALE CLAN GOT OUT MUCH SOONER THAN WE DID, SO THEY NEVER HAD THE FOOD SHORTAGE PROBLEM, WHILE SWAP CLAN SEEMS TO HAVE MANY ROLES SOMEHOW SHIFTED, AND THE FELL CLAN’S WORLD WAS MORE VIOLENT FOR SOME REASON.”

 

It was hard to wrap your head around, so you decided to focus on something else. You’d ask Stretch or Red later. Or Sans. he seemed to not hate you, at least. “You guys had a food shortage? What happened?”

 

“THE CORE THAT SUPPLIED OUT MAGIC… BROKE DOWN.” Roman paused in his scrubbing of the stovetop. “IT ALSO MADE MOST OF OUR FOOD. I TRIED TO HELP FIX IT, I THINK, ALONG WITH OTHERS IN THE UNDERGROUND, BUT EVENTUALLY I STOPPED GOING TO THE CAPITOL. IT MADE MY BROTHER NERVOUS, AND… SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED…” He squinted, but then shrugged and resumed cleaning. “BUT I CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER, SO IT MUST NOT HAVE BEEN THAT IMPORTANT! SO WE HAD TO EAT THE FALLEN HUMANS FOR A WHILE, BUT WE’RE ON THE SURFACE NOW SO-”

 

“You ate what.” You had stopped scrubbing dishes, and stood, staring at the sink with wide eyes. Every muscle was tensed, and while you weren’t looking at Roman, you were listening very, very carefully. You knew exactly where he was in the kitchen. There were knives in the sink. You knew what the skeletons sounded like, what they did when they were preparing attacks. Your hand slowly dipped into the sink for a weapon.

 

“OH, ER… I FORGOT I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT. BUT WE’RE ON THE SURFACE NOW! AND THERE IS PLENTY OF FOOD SO WE DON’T HAVE TO HURT ANYONE! WE CAN ALL BE FRIENDS! … Right?” He was moving towards you; you could hear his footsteps on the wood.

 

You took a deep breath. You relaxed your grip on the cleaver, letting it rest on the bottom of the sink. No noise. You turned slowly; out of the corner of your eye you could see Roman’s nervous and unsure expression and he looked so, so much like Papyrus…

 

You dashed out of the room. You needed to find Sans and ask if he knew. If he knowingly brought  _ cannibals  _ into your house. This… this couldn’t be some twisted form of revenge, or protection, could it? Finding out you were a murderer, and then bringing these guys… no, that’s ridiculous, Sans had even apologized for pushing… a few of the others were in the living room, but not Sans. you ignored their questions as you ran to the hallway and barged into his room, where he immediately jumped off the bed.

 

“jeez pal, what are you barging into my room for?” Sans said with a bony hand over his chest. He paused, taking in your expression. What did it look like, you wondered? Probably angry. “...what’s up, kid?”

 

“You brought cannibals into my house.” Blunt, but effective. His grin tightened. You didn’t notice the others behind you, focused as you were on Sans, but he most certainly did.

 

Sans hadn’t counted on you learning so quickly. You were observant, and you had connections; it had been a fantasy to think it could be hidden forever, but so fast… his eye lights flicked to the figures behind you: Stretch, Blue, Edge… Red was the only other one who knew, but of course he wasn’t there to help. As usual, sans would have to handle this himself. “technically, since they’re monsters, it’s not…” his sentence petered out as your eyes hardened. “look kid, they lived in a different world. they’re not gonna eat anyone up here. and they’re gonna go to therapy and everything; paps is gonna drive em. they’re not…” he wanted to say they weren’t dangerous, but he knew better. Of course they were dangerous, but no more so than the rest of them. He knew he would be putting this already unstable truce under tension, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. “... they’re no more dangerous than you.”

 

You didn’t like that answer at all. You would never be a danger to your friends. You were here to protect them, and these new skeletons… they weren’t your friends. You weren’t ready to count them as enemies yet, but you understood now the looks that Skulls had been giving you. You stormed out and up to your room, leaving the others to file into Sans’ room and ask him about what you had said. Apparently they hadn’t known either. You caught a glimpse of Skulls and Roman in the kitchen, but ignored them as you made your way to the stairs. That skull, that crack, and that one staring red eye were all you could think about as you laid in bed. The way Skulls had been watching, waiting for you to make a wrong move, or a stupid one.

 

It was undoubtedly the way a predator watches prey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP. i know a lot of people, when they write horrortale, make the reader really accepting and stuff. because hey, it does sort of make sense. but i feel like our fang would not take well to having a threat around. i mean, enough stuff has been going down as it is.
> 
> but hope you enjoyed this update!
> 
> HEY! kinktober is coming up and i'm doing kinktober: The Itch edition! come give me requests and ideas!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> and, well, a lot has happened,and i'm currently jobless and trying to get my insurance back. if you could hit up that ko-fi link on my tumblr, i'd really appreciate it. i have fibromyalgia, and i cant walk or really function well at all off my meds. i have five days of medication left. its... a bit worrisome.


	38. What Do we Really Know About Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time on the itch: When Sans followed you on a job, you were forced to spill the beans to all the skeletons, telling them what you really do. before everyone can really come to terms with that, a new monster clan appears from the mountain and Sans brings two new skeletons to live with you. however, after dinner that night, it becomes revealed that the various clans are actually from alternate timelines, and some of the monsters from this newest timeline ate humans.
> 
> sorry this is a bit late, but I really wanted to get it out! There's been a lot of complications in my life recently, so late updates might become normal for a while.
> 
> if you want to help, though, consider donating to my ko-fi! there's a link on my tumblr:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

The next day in the house, things were tense. You basically refused to talk to Sans, and instead sought out Stretch to ask about the alternate universe theory. 

 

“yeah, we’re all from different timelines,” Stretch said, kind of awkwardly, when you asked. “you know how there was this magic barrier keeping us underground, and the monster ambassadors somehow broke it?”

 

No. “Yeah.” Okay, so you resolved that later you’d have to do a lot of research into monster stuff.

 

“well, when frisk broke tale clan out , they got to come up here and do their integration thing, get back into society, and make friends with humans and all that. when chara broke the barrier that kept swap clan underground, however, something happened.” his gaze went hard as he seemed to recall the day. “the thing shattered like it was supposed to, but then… suddenly, things looked different. we weren’t in our underground, we were in theirs. tale clans’. same thing happened to fell clan, and i’m guessing it went about the same for the lost clan.”

 

You tilted your head. “The Lost clan?”

 

“yeah, it’s what these new guys are calling themselves. their queen picked the name out.”

 

“Huh.” Man, this was really weird. You didn’t get it at all.

 

“hey, er, i know this might be a weird time, but, um, are you free tonight? for, a, uh, date?” He was sweating, and appeared to be having difficulty meeting your eyes. It was pretty cute. Yeah, sure, you could go on a date with Stretch.

 

“I have work, but I’m free tomorrow?” you said with a grin.

 

A dopey smile took over his face. “yeah. yeah! we can… get some sweets from muffet, hit up the mall or something?”

 

Despite trying to hold it in, you found yourself smiling right back. “Sounds fun, bone boy.”

  
  
  


Red didn’t know the freaks from the lost clan would be stopping by the labs that day. At least that explained why almost every scientist of the clans was milling about the labs today. A huge group of the new clan was gathered, and various bureaucrats were having them fill out papers. Red didn’t have anything against these new monsters, really. Times had been hard and a lot of them looked pretty soul-sick and malnourished to boot. No, the unnerving things were the residents of snowdin. The way Fell monsters were underground wasn’t exactly friendly, but seeing his neighbors with crazed eyes and bleeding teeth was downright terrifying. They looked the most subdued out of the whole group, the most hopeless. They flinched when anyone came near them, and the rest of the monsters from their underground avoided them.

 

And it was all that fucker’s fault.

 

Skulls was standing off to the side with Roman. Even the other snowdin monsters avoided those two, besides throwing hateful glances every now and then. Roman was trying to strike up conversation with the scientists as they prepared the soul health tests, but Skulls was, as usual, just staring. Red had heard the story, how Skulls had tricked the starving monsters, including his own damn brother, into eating human meat and becoming addicted to it. All because he had some kind of beef with his Undyne. The fish in question was actually nowhere to be found.

 

“Sans, do pay attention to your actual job for once,” Gaster snapped, causing Red to flinch and turn to face him. “The interns are gathering the new monsters, so go start calibrating the equipment with your double and Alphys.”

 

“...yeah, sure.” Red hurried over to do as he was told, but not before looking up to see Skulls staring at him. Wait. not at him. At Gaster. That was… none of his business. He joined Sans and Alphys . “need any help?”

 

Alphys smiled up at him hesitantly. She was intimidated by his larger stature and gruff nature, but she had gotten much better than when the Fell Clan first arrived. “N-no, we’re about do-done. Keeping everyone organized as they g-go through will p-probably be the hardest part.”

 

“yeah, alph has been doing great,” Sans said. “hey, can you go help sakura for a bit? I gotta talk to red about some things.” she nodded and wandered off, and Sans pulled Red to the other side of the machine they were at, out of the view of most monsters. “it’s been a while since you got me a report on the blue machine. what gives?”

 

“look man,” Red sighed. “i hate workin’ on that thing. so i’ve been layin’ off. doin’ other stuff.” he shrugged.

 

“you’ve been letting gaster work on it alone?” he ran his hands over his skull. “look, if you can’t sabotage him at least keep an eye on him, yeah? i need those reports.”

 

“well it’d be easier if stretch was here to watch the cyan machine. or, ya know, if you could.”

 

“i got my phalanges in too many butterscotch-cinnamon pies, pal,” Sans said tensely. “you have no idea the things i’ve been keeping track of these past few months.”

 

“things like stalking our human roommate when she hasn’t hurt any monsters? and only bad humans? or did ya mean things like sneakin’ off to who knows where, prolly grillbys, all the time? yeah, i noticed that you’ll say yer goin’ home or goin’ to the lab but you ain’t in either place. so shove it and let me take my breaks from gaster.”

 

Red was not expecting Sans to  _ growl _ . His blue eye flared up in his left sockets, ocasionally sparking yellow. “look,  _ pal _ ,” he said with gritted teeth, “how bout you do your job and don’t question mine?”

 

There was a split second where Red wanted to start a fight. Wanted to stand up for himself. But there was one thing he learned underground: don’t pick a fight you don’t know you can win. “...yeah. fine.” Red went back to his station with Riyu to run the tests. 

 

Sans took a moment behind the machine to calm down. Red didn’t know. He couldn’t, and he didn’t ever need to. They soon began the tests, logging LV and other stats. It saddened Sans to see the noticeable difference between the monsters of Snowdin and elsewhere. His station with Alphys was the first one the monsters went to, where their stats were looked at, and as they went through Sans silently noted which monsters were missing from this clan that he knew should have been there.

 

“havin’ fun?” And then it was Skull’s turn.

 

“W-well, it’s always nice t-to meet new m-m-monsters, a-and hopefully w-we can help them have a b-better life here on the s-s-surface!” Alphys replied, clearly nervous and sweating in the presence of this version of her friend. His red eye light narrowed on her and she cowered a bit.

 

Sans stepped between them. “let’s just check your stats so we can get you to the next stage, huh?”

 

Skulls’ gaze was now solely focused on Alphys, who shook as he began the process. “ _ eye _ wouldn’t trust that overgrown lizard, if i were you,” he said, digging a couple phalanges into his right eye socket and tugging at the corners.

 

“think i’m good pal,” Sans replied coolly as he worked alongside Alphys in getting things going. “hold still a sec.”

 

Skulls obligingly froze, the only movement his red orb trained on the yellow lizard whose movements were getting shakier each time her eyes flicked up to him. With a ding, the machine spit out some papers with various numbers. As they gathered them up, the marred skeleton spoke again. “i’m just saying. In the end, she only cares about herself… so don’t go letting her into your head.” he tapped at the gaping hole in his skull, before Sans shoved the papers at him to take to the next station.

  
  
  


It was late when Red got home, but Sans had said he was staying even later. A huge portion of the lab was currently dedicated to going over today’s information, looking at what kind of medical and psychological help the Lost Clan would need. And it was a lot. When he got home, red went straight for the monster booze in one of the lower cupboards.

 

“getting an early start?” Stretch said condescendingly,  appearing behind him to reach into the cupboards for some tea. 

 

“got a problem with that?” Red grumbled back.

 

“last time you got drunk here, you threw around all the books in the study and broke a bookcase. Y/n yelled at you for making so much noise and the rest of us had to clean up after you while you passed out.”

 

“sucks for you,” he said as he took a long swig of the drink. 

 

“do you just exist to cause trouble?” Stretch asked as he slammed his tea tin into the counter. 

 

“do you just exist to look down on people?” he growled, eye sparking dangerously. 

 

“only the ones who proved they deserve it.” the tea kettle was whistling, but the two skeletons were just staring each other down. 

 

“the fuck ‘ave I done to you? we used to be friends, smoking buddies, but ever since ya left the labs ya treat me like shit!” He gulped down more of his drink, waving the bottle a bit wildly. 

 

“I used to think you wanted to do better, that you wanted to move past your level of violence and work for monsters and humans together, but when the clans started work on those pieces of garbage you just rolled over and followed orders!” 

 

“how come classic gets away with it then, huh? how come when I mess up everyone looks and says there's another fell clan monster gone back to their violence, tryna collect execution points! but anyone else and it's an honest mistake! so how exactly is it not his fault that he's in charge of most a’ the labs but the blue machines aren't his fault?” bones formed in the air around him, broken and sharp at the ends. 

 

Stretch formed his own in response. “because he tried to fight it! and he's still trying now!”

 

“oh, so yer judging me cuz I didn't try hard enough? is that it?”

 

“yes!”

 

“but just leaving, abandoning your work and people you could help to make some sort of stand is fine? That isn’t cowardice, no,not at all!”

 

“what should i have done?”

 

“helped us! keep track of the bullshit they claim is for the greater good like the rest of us! Stall when ya can, think of countermeasures, anything besides running away to lay around the house or work at movie theatres or trick yourself into thinking it’s fine to just try an’ be like everyone else, like you don’t have responsibilities!”

 

“I didn’t ask for any responsibility!”

 

“I DIDN’T EITHER! I DIDN’T ASK TO BE STUCK WITH GASTER, TO WORK ON A MACHINE THAT COULD KILL COUNTLESS HUMANS, TO BE UNDER HIS THUMB WHILE HE HOLDS PAP OVER MY HEAD WITH THREATS TO  **TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME** !” the bones shot everywhere, plunging into walls and cupboards and sticking there. Stretch dodged nimbly, but his movements were sloppy and he only barely got out of the way in time. When the projectiles stopped coming, Stretch stared with wide open sockets at Red. the Fell monster held a broken bottle in his hands, surrounded by glass and other bits of the room that had fallen from the ceiling or splintered off of the cupboards. Red’s sockets were empty, but his skull faced the floor. “... i didn’t want any of this. I wanted things to be different.” Stretch moved forward to do something, say anything, but Red vanished, taking a shortcut to… somewhere else.

 

“Papy? Are you okay?”

 

Stretch spun around to find Blue staring at him, face filled with worry.

 

Blue glanced around the destroyed kitchen, the glass on the floor and the bones everywhere. “I heard yelling… what happened?”

 

“i... me and red had a fight. I think… i think i messed up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaHA i wasn't giving the skeleton's lives enough visibility, so here you go! do tell me what you think, the comments are always fun to read. :3
> 
> those of you who follow my tumblr know that things have been rough recently, with the hurricane, insurance, running out of medication, etc. i got the medication i need for now, and im good on groceries and rent for the next month, but i still can't find work yet. if you have a spare dollar, consider dropping by my ko-fi? theres a link on my tumblr. im also considering selling one-shots for a couple coffees, but would anyone actually buy them?
> 
> well anyway, here's wonderwall:  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> you wanna... talk to me or some shit?:  
> https://discord.gg/jFNKFzr
> 
> next time on the itch: we're at work again. no, the boring one.


	39. Some Aftermath is Harder to See Than Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you go back to work. edge thinks deep thoughts. this house has gotten a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so cuz america sucks, looks like updates are once a month til things get better. at least i got my fucking insurance under control.
> 
> BUT YEAH WE'RE BACK BITCHES HAVE A SHORT CHAPTER
> 
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/  
> got questions? ask em.

You were back at the casino. Boss had asked you to lay low for a while, and so you were mostly off duty and serving drinks. Your work clothes were along the line of a classic waiter, almost all in a nice cream color that got stained far too easily.

 

And the worst thing was Cheryl, AKA Cherry. She tossed her red locks behind her back as you came up to refill your platter of various liquors. “Having fun, Fang?”

 

You groaned, leaning back on the counter. “No! You’re a slave driver, Cheryl, and I hate you.”

 

“Well that’s not nice to say.”

 

You flipped around, leaning on the counter now. “You don't have any more info for me on that… thing, do you?”

 

She shook her head. “Afraid not. Now, take this to table seven.” she pushed a tray of some of the more expensive drinks across the table to you. 

 

You sighed and took the drinks to the table, where several men and a couple women in cheap suits were seated. As you held out the tray, they took their drinks, and one of the older men slipped you a generous tip. You looked up at him, smiling sweetly. “You want the special for your generosity?”

 

He smiled back. “Actually, I was wondering if me and my friends could get a private game?” The wink solidified it.

 

You nodded. “Absolutely, I’ll have one of the dealers pick you up and take you to a back room! Oh, and, hope you don’t mind my asking, but would you happen to have a favorite card?”

 

“Jack of spades.”

 

You smiled, picking up the tray that now held only a few empty glasses, and walked back to the bar. “Hey Cheryl, table seven wants a jack of spades.”

 

“Huh. Third one this week. Can you take them back?” She reached under the bar and handed you a set of keys.

 

“Do I have to?” You whined in return. Cheryl just snorted and made a shooing motion. You rolled your eyes but fixed your customer face as you returned to the table. “Well, it seems I’ll be the one taking you back!” The group got up, and you eyed them over. They didn’t look threatening, but looks could be deceiving. Well, if they made a wrong move, they’d regret it. You led them through one of the back doors, and into a clean hallway. You passed the employee break room, the locker room, and turned into one of the many side rooms, making sure the whole group stayed with you.

 

This new room was full of lockboxes, much like safety deposit boxes in a bank, but much larger. You took them to a section further in, and took out the keys to open it. The smell of chemicals assaulted you as the drawer opened to reveal vials, bottles, and beakers all filled with fluids and labeled with chemical compounds.

 

“So, what can I get for you folks?” You smiled.

  
  
  


Cherry sighed, leaving someone else to take care of the bar while she went into one of the storage rooms. Once there, she called Boss.

 

“Hey Boss. Yeah, it’s going alright. I’m keeping her busy.” She gulped, tucking non-existent hair behind her ears. A nervous tic. “No one yet. Yeah, I got all the details on the chemical plant. Are you sure we shouldn’t bring her? No, of course- boss please, I would never- yes. Yes, I apologize. Yes. I’ll report again when y/n’s shift ends.”

 

She hung up the phone, tapping her shoes against the floor. Boss really liked you.

  
  
  


Edge fumed as he did his rounds at the Embassy, nodding to RG03 as he took up her post. This was the third week living together, but he still felt like he wasn’t truly living there. It felt more like a vacation, or a dream, or imposing on someone else’s home. It was supposed to feel like home, stars dammit! He was even getting along with the creampuff and the blueberry! Was he doing something wrong? His room felt like his room, his brother’s room still felt, well, horribly untidy. But the kitchen, the living room, it felt… not his. He sighed, and stood his shift until he could go home. Ever since the night he met you, there hadn’t been any serious attempts on his life. Sure, he had knocked some sense into a few foolish loner, but it was never anything he worried about. Even if he now lived much further from the embassy. In the human’s territory. Was that why it didn’t feel like home? At least in their apartment, the neighbors had all been monsters. It hadn’t been a welcoming environment, simply due to the nature of the underground they had left behind, but at least when there was graffiti they all cleaned it together.

 

Edge walked down the road. Night was different up here. Even after a year he found it odd how the lighting changed with the time of day. Nothing was stable. A tree that had leaves one month had none the next. Even the stars changed position. He looked up at the sky; only a few stars were visible through the light pollution. Whatever. As he reached the area of home, going into the human cul-de-sacs, the sky was dark, and streets empty, and porch lights shining like eyes that followed his every move.

 

When he reached home, he was surprised to find you, Stretch, Sans, and Roman gathered in the living room. All eyes snapped to him.

 

“have you seen red?” Stretch asked.

 

Well that was a bit surprising. Stretch seemed to care least for Edge’s brother. “NO. WHY? HAS THE IMBECILE DONE SOMETHING NOW?”

 

Stretch shuffled around guiltily, and you looked sternly at him, before speaking. “Apparently they got into an argument and wrecked the kitchen.”

 

“I OFFERED TO CLEAN IT,” Roman interjected, “BUT THEY SAID I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL I HAD SUPERVISION!”

 

You winced at that; it sounded a lot harsher coming from him. You didn’t exactly trust him, and you might have been a little worried about him taking knives from the kitchen… but it was true that he hadn’t done anything threatening. Unlike his brother, who had lurked just behind you all day, freaking you out and spouting cannibal jokes that did nothing to ease your mind.

 

Edge just rolled his eyes. “HE’S PROBABLY JUST AT GRILLBY’S. I CAN GO AND-”

 

“already checked,” Stretch mumbled. “he wasn’t at fell grillby’s. sparkby said he kicked him out once he was inebriated and getting too rowdy.”

 

“THEN WE SEARCH AT THE ONE IN TALE CLAN.”

 

“I already went there,” you said, shaking your head. “Same story. Grillby gave him one drink before he noticed how drunk he already was, and then Red left when he realized he wasn’t getting any more.”

 

Worry flashed across Edge’s face before he turned to Stretch, voice tense. “WHAT IN THE STARS DID YOU ARGUE ABOUT?”

 

Stretch winced, wondering how much he really should say. “...just work. i may have hit a nerve bringing gaster up?” 

 

Edge grimaced. Their… well, he was reluctant to use the word father, but it was what best described him. Their father was a huge sore spot for Red. True, he was a terrible parent, but that was largely because of their environment. Being forced to suddenly work with him again had not been easy for Red. “I’LL GO LOOK FOR HIM.” He spun on his heel, heading straight back out the door.

 

“Edge wait!” you tried to say, but he was already out the door. You sighed and turned to the others. “C’mon, let’s go after him.”

 

“uh, actually,” Sans said, “stretch and i kinda need to talk about something.”

 

“I CAN HELP!” Roman said.

 

“Um, no thanks Roman.” Okay, he seemed harmless enough… but he was big, probably as strong as the other... tall skeletons (you could  _ not  _ think of them all as Papyrus), and would also scare more than you out on the streets. “I’ll go bring them both back.” You shot a glare at Sans for not helping, and just for being Sans, before taking off after Edge.

 

Roman fiddled with his scarf, which he had washed but still wore from his time underground. “I… I GUESS I WILL SIMPLY BE HELPFUL IN ANOTHER MANNER! I CAN CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN!”

 

“uh, wait a few minutes on that buddy. paps is almost home, and he can… help show you where things go,” Sans said.

 

Roman’s smile drooped, but didn’t vanish. “YES… OF COURSE! I SHALL WAIT HERE, THEN!”

 

“thanks bud,” Sans said, walking with Stretch into Sans’ bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/  
> consider hitting up that kofi link on my tumblr!


	40. Finding Out More than Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You reveal to Edge a bit of your past, while Red reminisces about his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, back with another chapter! A lot has been happening and I still can't promise regular updates again yet, But I'll be posting news to my tumblr and maybe even twitter someday, if I can get in the habit of using it.
> 
> Last time on The Itch! You've gone back to work at the casino, but when you get home the place is in turmoil! After an argument with Stretch, red has gone missing. You and Edge set out to find him.
> 
> you know what's easier to find than a missing skeleton? My Tumblr!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/homesafterthemountain

Edge stomped down the street, seething. Where the hell had his brother gone?! He should have come straight home if he were inebriated! Now he was walking around, stars knew where, possibly too drunk to defend himself!

 

“Will you wait up! Tall ass skeletons…” You jogged up to Edge, who didn’t slow down for you at all. Jerk.

 

“IF YOU WANT TO HELP, THEN KEEP UP,” Edge snapped.

 

“I’m not helping you, I’m helping Red. You just happen to be the one most likely to know where to find him,” you bit back. You still hadn’t fully forgiven Edge for that fight, so you weren’t about to go out of your way to be polite now. “So where do we look?”

 

“HMPH!” He crossed his bony arms as he stomped along. “WELL HE’S NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO GO WANDERING AROUND OUTSIDE MONSTER AREA, EVEN DRUNK. HE MIGHT HAVE GONE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER ESTABLISHMENT AT WHICH TO FURTHER POISON HIMSELF.”

 

“He’s not poisoning himself,” you growled. “He’s getting drunk. Gotta ask Stretch later what the hell he said to get him so worked up…”

 

“ALCOHOL IS POISON, BOTH TO HUMANS AND MONSTERS. MOST PEOPLE JUST DON’T NOTICE UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE.”

 

“Maybe the only poisonous thing around here is you! Maybe you’re the reason he’s driven to drink! I know I’d be downing bottles if I had to put up with your shit all the time.”

 

Edge whirled on you. “I SUGGEST YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH,  _ HUMAN _ ,” he spat with venom.

 

Oooooh no. “You shut  _ your  _ mouth!” You stepped closer, barely registering the hum of magic in the air. “All you do is yell at people, and act a hypocrite! Spouting life lessons like you know the world, like you know  _ me _ !”

 

“OH, THIS IS ABOUT YOU, NOW? I THOUGHT WE WERE LOOKING FOR MY SELFISH LAYABOUT BROTHER. BUT SURE, WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOU. ABOUT HOW YOU DISREGARD OTHER’S CARE AND WORRY, AND YOUR OWN PERSONAL HEALTH, TO DIVE HEADFIRST INTO ANY SITUATION PRESENTED TO YOU!”

 

He had moved closer, and was decidedly looking down at you from his superior height. “Oh really?! Yeah, and antagonizing people is definitely the best way to show you care! Wow, my friend got her ass handed to her the other day, let’s challenge her to a fight!”

 

“I WAS TRYING TO TEACH A LESSON IN A WAY YOU’D UNDERSTAND!”

 

“Oh yeah, ‘cause I don’t understand simple english!”

 

“WELL YOU CERTAINLY DON'T ACT LIKE IT! MAYBE YOU DON’T HAVE THE BRAIN POWER TO LEARN IF IT ISN’T BEATEN INTO YOU!”

 

“Well, maybe so! Seems like I’ve had to have everything in life  _ beaten  _ into me, huh? Because that’s the  _ only  _ way I learn, the  _ only  _ way I listen! You wanna be my new dad? You wanna beat the shit outta me and my sister?! FINE! I CAN TAKE IT!” You stepped forward, and to your surprise Edge stepped back, but only once. With your last words you were screaming in his face, seconds away from throwing a punch.

 

Edge paused as you went into your tirade. “YOU… you… what?”

 

“I can fuckin take it! Go ahead! Hit me! But I’m not gonna lie down like a dog anymore, I’m gonna fight back, asshole!” You grabbed his arm, and he was too stunned to even pull away. “DO IT!”

 

“I…” he stared down, sockets wide in shock, mouth slightly agape. “I think you need to calm down.”

 

“I’m calm as shit, fucker!” You roared. The few people out at this time of night, humans and monsters alike, scurried past the scene you were making. “You need to calm down! Get off your high horse, thinking you know people! You don’t know me! You don’t know shit!”

  
  
  


_ “Now Sans, write down the numbers that appear on the screen.” _

 

_ “But paps is hurtin’, we already did this!” a younger version of Red protested. _

 

_ “Well, you didn’t get all the numbers down the first time, did you? And his name is Papyrus. Learn to speak properly, or don’t speak at all. Your brother is doing it fine.” _

 

_ A hand quickly found its way to his mouth. The muzzle hurt his face. He didn’t want it. “... kay dad…” _

 

_ “You mean, ‘yes, doctor Gaster’.” _ __   
  


_ “Yes doctor gaster…” _

  
  
  


Red slumped over the bar, knocking back another shot, far too gone to realize the bartender had switched out his alcohol for water long ago.

 

“ya ever… ya ever love someone? like, ya’d dust for em, but they don’ e’en know?” Red slurred from his place on the countertop. “And then, they’re the on’y one ya care bout for…. fer forever, but then ya meet someone ya like, ya wanna get ta know em? yeah. ‘s like that.”

 

Swapette nodded understandingly, her six arms counting the till, polishing plates, and filling another shotglass of water.

 

“this girl… she got issues, so i think she can actually un’nerstan me… but ma bro… can’ let ‘im know…”

  
  
  


_ “paps, wake up! we gotta go!” He shook his brother, trying to rouse him, before giving up and just picking him up. _

 

_ Sleepy sockets cracked open, and Papyrus rubbed his eyes. “S-sans? What’s going on? Where are we going? More tests already?” _

 

_ “no, we’re leaving.” with a tiny Papyrus in one arm, Sans began throwing a few things in a bag before dashing out the door. Hotland was always a bit of shock when the doors were opened, but he pushed through, running down the road. _

 

_ “WHAT DO YOU MEAN LEAVING?!” Papyrus was so confused, struggling in his brother’s arms. “WE CAN’T LEAVE! WE’LL GET IN TROUBLE! PUT ME DOWN!” He bit down on the arm that held him, sharp teeth digging into the fabric of Sans’ jacket. _

 

_ “no, it’s gonna be fine, we’re gonna go somewhere he won’t find us.” It was fine, Gaster really took a hit in that experiment; they’d have enough time to get away. They had to. “it’s gonna be fine. no more tests. we’re gonna be safe paps.” _

 

_ “WE’RE… WE’RE GONNA...! Can we really go where there’s no more tests?” _

 

_ “yeah. yeah, things are gonna be different now. we’ll go… all the way to snowdin. be safe there.” _

  
  
  


“an’ i don't think he e’en ‘members what happened back then…. doesn’ ‘member the shit gaster did…” Red knocked back another shot of water. “but i ‘member… ne’er gonna forget what he did…”

 

Swapette perked up a bit at the mention of gaster. “...which clan?” She asked in a whisper.

 

“fell. where everything went to shit and everyones a shit head. i just’ wanna… i want things to be better.”

  
  
  


_ The barrier came down. That was supposed to mean they could go wherever, do whatever. But no. they’re stuck in this town. And Asgore wanted Red to work in the labs. With Gaster. _

 

_ Gaster looked down at Red. He didn’t seem as tall as he used to. Red scoffed, crossing his arms. “i’ll work with ya for now, cuz asgore ordered it.” _

 

_ Gaster rolled his eyelights. The cracks looked worse than Red remembered. “Please, Sans, spare me the dramatics. I am still your superior, both in title and practice. So I expect you to act properly. You may be an ungrateful piece of trash that ran away from home, but I suppose you’ll have to do as an assistant. I know what you’re capable of, Sans. Don’t fool yourself into believing I haven’t been watching you both. And Papyrus has grown into such a fine specimen…” _

 

_ Red growled. “you stay the hell away from him…” _

 

_ Gaster chuckled. “You think you have control over anything? Who do you think got you your job as judge, hm? Who convinced Asgore to let you work here?” _

 

_ Red deflated, and suddenly Gaster felt much, much bigger. “y-ya can’t do what ya want here… there’s humans, other clans, even another gaster…” _

 

_ “We’ll see, Sans. For now, why don’t you go play with your double?” _

  
  
  


“Red!” you had finally found him through a tip from Widow, passed out at a… spider bar? Okay, that was awesome.

 

“Apparently he has drunk himself into a stupor. YOU! HOW MUCH DID YOU SERVE HIM?” Edge demanded of the spider lady.

 

“It was just water…” she whispered. “He was too drunk to tell the difference.”

 

“OH. Thank you for that.” he picked Red up, tucking him under one arm. “We should return home and put this babybones to bed.”

 

With a thank you to the spider lady, you left, the walk home uneventful except for scaring off a small party of monster haters. Red kept waking up or half-waking for short periods of time before going right back to sleep, and you and Edge were silent almost the whole way. Once you had returned and explained where he was to the others, you went to your room. You sat in the middle of your bed, fingers brushing against your lips.

 

You hadn’t expected Edge to kiss you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going into my last semester of college. I have no job, very little money, and a shit ton of student loans. So it'll be a while til writing gets regular. On the plus side, i started taking iron supplements and I can walk again, even without my leg meds?! Which I kind of found out on accident. But hey! nice!
> 
> While updates won't be regular, I will occasionally host sessions on discord where the character will answer questions! They're a little spur of the moment, so watch out for news on my tumblr.
> 
> And hey! I love you. Don't try to drown your sorrows in drink, but in blankets instead. go take a nap, is what i mean. Merry Chrysler!
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/homesafterthemountain


	41. Unwanted Guests Appear on Your Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow its me, with another update! crazy, right? ive just been able to write a lot more recently.
> 
> so, last time on the itch! spooky human-eating bros show up, they live with us now. Stretch asked you on a date. Stretch and Red had a fight, which resulted in y/n having to go with Edge to find the very drunk skeleton at Swapette's bar. oh yeah, also edge kissed y/n.
> 
> want bonus short stories and insights into the characters? Follow my tumblr for update and bonus content! and if you have a few dollars to spare, hit up that ko-fi link.  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> wanna talk to me and ask skelebros questions? come by my discord server! sometimes im even online in class hahaha dont tell my teachers. its college so its not like it matters anyway.  
> https://discord.gg/tFDQY5W

_ Knock knock. _

 

_ “Uuuugh, leave me aloooooone! It’s too early!” you pulled the blankets over your face. _

 

_ “i said knock knock, snack pack,” Skulls voice came right beside your ear, and you screamed, scrambling away and pulling a knife out from under your pillow. _

 

_ “What the fuck are you doing in my room?!” You demanded as he stood there beside your bed, chuckling. _

 

_ “WELL, WE WERE GOING TO MAKE BREAKFAST,” suddenly Roman was on the other side of your bed, and you found yourself shooting over to the foot of the bed now. “BUT WE WERE OUT OF SAUSAGES! AND WE THOUGHT, WELL, WE NEED TO COOK FOR EVERYONE!” _

 

_ “and with only one kind of meat in the house, well, we thought we’d cook you.” Skulls finished.  _

 

_ You felt something grab you, forcing you down onto the bed, saw Skulls lifting a cleaver- _

 

You shot up in bed, breathing heavy and sweating. A dream. What a shitty dream.

 

_ Knock knock.  _

 

You glanced around the empty room, eyes narrowing on your bedroom door. You got up and locked it. “Who is it?”

 

“pudding.”

 

That came from inside your room. You tensed up, slowly moving to grab your knives from under the pillow. A quick check showed that there wasn’t anything under the bed.

 

“you’re supposed to say ‘pudding who’.”

 

It was Skulls. It had to be. “How about instead you get the hell out of my room?”

 

“pudding you in the oven sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.”

 

You opened the closet to find a grinning skeleton with one red eye light. You pointed to the door. “Out.” 

 

“no sense of humor,” he chuckled, but paused. “you... might want to be careful,” he said, his grin wideing, before walking to the door. “it’s locked.”

 

You walked up and unlocked the door, pushing it open and really feeling the urge to stab this new skeleton. He just grinned at you and walked out. You slammed the door behind him. Skulls had made a habit of dropping plenty of cannibal jokes, leaving dead animals in your tub, and just being generally creepy. And you wanted him out of the house. You went into your connected bathroom, and there, sure enough, was a dead… possum. Okay, so was it actually dead, or just playing dead? How were you supposed to tell?

 

You went downstairs, nodding to Papyrus making breakfast, and knocked on Sans’ door. “Sans! Skulls left something in my bathtub again, and you’re in charge of his messes!”

 

Sans cracked the door open, glaring out. “can it wait, like, an hour?”

 

“No. get the possum out of my tub. Wait, you know, it could maybe wait as long as it takes you to explain why we haven’t gone to the chemical factory yet.”

 

“i’m gettin’ it, i’m gettin’ it.” Sans trudged past you. Was he especially grumpy today?

 

You turned to watch him go up the stairs. “Tomorrow, Sans. I won’t wait for you guys forever. I’m going to find Reap.” He merely waved lazily. Despite your protests, you didn’t know if you could hold true to your threat. Boss had seen fit to schedule you to work at the casino almost every day, and Cherry seemed intent on running you ragged so that even your time off was devoted to giving your body time to relax.

 

“haven’t even had our date yet and you’re already talkin’ to other folks?” Stretch’s voice came from somewhere behind you. You turned around to find him still in his sweater, but also wearing jeans and real shoes rather than his normal khakis and crocs.

 

That’s right. You two had your date today. You didn’t really know what he had planned, besides taking you out to lunch later. “Someone’s dressed nicer than usual,” you replied with a raised brow.

 

“yeah, figure if im taking a nice gal out, might try an dress nice.” he shrugged, but he was blushing lightly. “you, uh, like it?”

 

Did you? Well, he did look nice. “Y-yeah, you look good.”

 

Seeming to gain some confidence, he smirked. “well then, you good to leave around eleven?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded and shot him a grin of your own. Like hell were you going to act like some self-conscious idiot around Stretch, of all people. “Where are we going?”

 

“out.” 

 

Eye roll. “I’m surrounded by over dramatic secret keeping skeletons.” In the kitchen, Papyrus was scrambling eggs. He looked up at you, and you think you might have seen an orange glow on his cheekbones before he turned back to his cooking. You walked past him to pull out some toaster pastries.

 

“I could always make you some eggs!” Papyrus insisted, turning to you but refusing to look you in the eye. He was definitely blushing. He frowned at your choice of breakfast food. “You should eat something with real nutrients!”

 

“I’m fiiiine, Paps.” Popping the pastries in the toaster, you leaned against the counter. “Hey um, what do you think of Skulls and Roman?”

 

He hummed, shuffling the eggs in the pan. “Roman seems… enthusiastic. Skulls is… well, frankly…. He’s spooky!” he slammed the pan down. “I know he keeps going into your room, and he sneaks in to take food all the time! And he doesn’t eat it, he just takes it to his room. I checked the other day, when I was wondering if he was really eating all that, and there are just piles of food hoarded away! Plus he has bad manners. Yesterday when we picked him up from therapy, he ripped the inside of my car!” He frowned. “But i suppose they are just still getting used to the surface…”

 

You opened your mouth to reply, but were interrupted by a loud cry of “oh shit!” from upstairs. Seems like the opossum had been alive after all. Fighting back a smile at Sans’s distress, you focused on the conversation with Papyrus. “I don’t… trust them,” you said. “I don’t think they should be living with us.”

 

Papyrus wrung his hands and his jaw opened and closed, looking distressed, but as the eggs started to burn he quickly turned away and took them off the burner. “I… don’t know if that’s not fair. They just… they just need to be shown how to be a better roommate!”

 

Your toaster pastries popped up. They were burnt. Someone must have adjusted the settings. Grabbing a plate, you dropped the very hot sugary treats onto it, managing to only burn your hands a little. “I don’t know about that Paps. It’s been days.”

 

He frowned at your pastry plate. “Those are burnt, don’t eat them.”

 

Well, if he could ignore your statement, you could ignore his. You simply shrugged and left the room, going up to your room to eat and watch youtube.   
…   
And maybe change into date clothes.

 

You’re in your closet, staring at the dress, and there are only a few minutes before you’re supposed to meet stretch downstairs. You’re not putting on makeup. Maybe lip gloss. You can’t remember the last time you thought this hard about an outfit. Maybe back when you were still finding the best clothes for stealth missions? Either way, there you were. Staring at the orange dress. Your birthday felt like months ago, but really it had barely been a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks since the skeletons had bought you dresses and taken you to the fair. You looked down at the scars on your skin. Not even a month since you were run over. Was it normal to heal this fast? Maybe the injuries weren’t really as bad as they had felt at the time. Whatever. You weren’t a doctor. You stared into your closet again. You had to wear the orange dress, because you were almost completely sure that was the one Stretch had picked. But it was so…  _ bright _ . You didn’t… you weren’t a bright person. But it was the one he had picked for you. So… you’d wear it on the date. Not like you weren’t feeling awkward anyway. Stretch… liked you. He got all nervous, and asked you on a date. Red had told you that several skeletons were flirting with you. They liked you. They didn’t want to have sex or anything, they  _ liked  _ you.

 

You didn’t think they had very good taste.

 

Walking down the stairs, you saw Stretch fiddling with something beside the table. “So, uh,” he jumped and turned to face you as you spoke. His cheekbones almost immediately lit up orange. “Where we going for this date thing?”

 

“oh, you know. out.” He approached you and took your arm in his, causing you to flush in embarrassment just a little. Leading you to the door, he opened it and you stepped out into the warm spring air. You immediately moved towards the garage, but Stretch pulled you away. “uh, no motorcycles. we can walk there.” You shrugged and followed. “so, um, you like italian?”

 

You shrugged. “I like food.” you weren’t sure when you started walking through the city, but blinked when you realized you were suddenly surrounded by shops, rather than suburbia. “Damn it Stretch, warn a gal when you teleport?”

 

“but it’s so much more fun this way?” He grinned.

 

“Come ooooon!” Looking around, you didn’t immediately recognize where you were, but you didn’t go shopping much so that wasn’t surprising. The surprising part was the lack of monsters. There were a few, but humans far outnumbered them. “Hey Stretch… this part of town safe?”

 

“yeah, i checked and we should be fine in the day.” Well, that wasn’t the most encouraging thing he could’ve said. “it’s here.” you looked up and realized you had stopped in front of an Olive Garden restaurant.

 

You snorted. “Olive garden?”

 

His face took on an orange tinge. “y-yeah. heard about it on the internet, good place for pasta and breadsticks. we have a reservation.” He led the way inside, and you were seated politely. “you ever been here before?” he asked, looking over the top of the menus.

 

“Yeah. a couple times, way back,” you answered.

  
  
  


Finally, a proper distraction. Sans checked the app that he and Stretch had set up, and it was working fine. No one would ever know he was gone.

 

“watcha plannin, vanilla?”

 

Except these guys. Sans turned to face Skulls. The other skeleton was just staring, hands in his pockets, his functional socket half-lidded and that eye light fixed and focused on Sans. For this plan, he’d be leaving them alone in the house, which wasn’t a great thought. Especially not with the human smelling so strongly right now... But he couldn’t keep putting this off. “going out. you guys are gonna stay in the house and behave, right?”

 

Skulls’ grin stretched unnaturally wide, to where Sans had to wonder if his bones didn’t hurt. “... yeah, roman and i can behave.”

 

Sans looked him up and down. “... good. wouldn’t want ya going out and getting hurt.” he checked his phone again. “be back soon.” and then he ported out.

  
  
  


The date with Stretch was actually really nice. You had been a little uncomfortable at first, being out in such clothes, but you loosened up as Stretch told incessant jokes and terrible stories, until you were both laughing over the time Blue had created a new gate that had bars too wide apart to stop a human, but just close enough together for Blue to get caught one day in his rounds.

 

“You had to grease the bars?” You snorted.

 

“you  _ butter  _ believe it,” he snickered, “and i made enough puns about it, so he stormed off as soon as possible.”

 

And then you saw a cockroach. It climbed up onto the table, and you just found yourself staring as it crawled over your silverware. Your meal had not yet arrived. “Stretch. There’s a cockroach.”

 

He followed your gaze, sockets widening a bit as he spotted it. “huh. So there is.” He stared as well, as if you were both entranced by this insect daring to exist in an Olive garden. “should... should we call the waitress?”

 

“I… guess?” you pushed the little button to summon the waitress, and before long, she appeared. However, in that time, you had both somehow lost sight of the cockroach. “Oh, um, there was a cockroach just a second ago… um. Can i maybe just get another set of silverware?”

 

“Of course,” she replied, to her credit hardly staring at Stretch at all. “Bugs get in through the windows here sometimes. I’ll get you a new set right away.”

 

As soon as she left, you found yourself looking around. “Where did it go? It was literally right here!”

 

“you think they think we’re lying?” Stretch asked, looking a little worried.

 

“Well, doesn’t matter too much if they do,” you said as you leaned over to look under the table. “We’re not causing any harm.” where the hell had that bug gone? The waitress returned with new silverware and your main courses soon after, and retrieved you a napkin when you asked for one to squish the bug if you saw it again. “So, Stretch, level with me. Why did you ask me out here?”

 

“w-what?” he began to sweat a little. “because i… like you?”

 

You shoveled pasta in you mouth. “Buh why?” You finished chewing, and swallowed. “I don’t get it. For one, I’m human.”

 

“racist,” Stretch said with a smirk.

 

You rolled your eyes. “Two, you… you know my job. I’m not going to quit.”

 

“you gonna do that forever, then?” Stretch asked quietly. “there are other options, ya know.”

 

“I don’t know that. I…” you looked down at your fork, frowning. “This is… more than a job. And i was recently offered a promotion. I can’t just…” your voice trailed off. You were unsure how to respond to that. Logically, of course there were options, but… you were granted an escape from your thoughts as you saw movement out of the corner of your eye. The roach! “Hold that thought.” you grabbed the napkin and found the bug trying to escape on the floor. You all but dove down to grab it, attracting a few stares and causing Stretch to laugh at you.

 

“you sure are a passionate exterminator, y/n. that thing must really  _ bug  _ ya.”

 

“Well, did you wanna catch it?” You had managed to grab it with the napkin, and grinned triumphantly. But as you came up, you spotted something. The couple seated a few tables down… the girl was barefoot. Who came to an Olive Garden barefoot? You came up slowly, using your peripheral vision to observe the couple. Neither was dressed particularly nice. The man had mid length sleeves. The girl… she looked nervous. And she was wearing a bright yellow scarf, with a tattoo on her neck peeking out at the edges. “Stretch. I think we’re being watched.”

 

His sockets narrowed, and flicked to the side. “... you wanna wrap the rest of this to-go?”

 

“Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” You pressed the button to summon the waitress, who quickly appeared. “Hey, can we get some boxes and the check?”

 

The woman nodded. “Oh, the meal is free, because of the bug.” She looked at the napkin containing the remains of the unfortunate insect, making a disgusted face. She quickly fetched you some boxes, and since you didn’t have to pay for the meals, Stretch left a generous tip. You approved. As you walked out, you noticed the barefoot woman from before getting up to go to the bathroom, but at the last second turning to follow you both out the front door.

 

“Stretch,” you whispered, “don’t teleport or anything just yet.” He nodded and you linked hands, ignoring his blush and leading him down the street. At every corner you turned just enough to see that girl following, and eventually she was joined by the man from before. They were wisely keeping their distance, but that scarf was ironically the thing that allowed you to keep noticing them. You slowed down, and they fell further behind. “Shit, they’re too far behind…” you murmured.

 

“isn’t that a good thing if they’re following us?” Stretch asked, resisting the urge to keep looking behind them. He was not a fan of turning his back on potential enemies.

 

“Not if i wanna yank that scarf off to confirm something…” you grumbled.

 

“i can do that.” You looked sharply at him. “yeah, with blue magic.”

 

“Alright.” You grinned. “Here’s the plan…” it was simple, but you just had one thing you wanted out of it. You had been wandering aimlessly, but it had worked out well, since you ended up in a place without too many other pedestrians that way there was no one to block your view when you both spun around and Stretch used some kind of blue force to rip off the girl’s scarf. She gasped, reaching for it as the tattoo of a crown around her neck was revealed “I knew it!” you couldn’t help calling out. 

 

This did not sit well with the man following you, as he growled like an animal and charged at you and Stretch. You both ran around the corner, and suddenly you were in Swap district, far away from the Kings who had been following you.

 

Stretch was double over, panting. “well... hah… you find… what you were lookin’ for?”

 

“Yeah… you okay man?” You looked down at your date… if this was still considered a date? You hadn’t really run that far, but he looked really worn out.

 

“yeah... ‘m fine, just… tired.” he pulled himself to his feet. “welp. you still down to finish this date?”

 

You nodded absently. “Yeah.” but honestly, your mind was elsewhere. Why were Kings men following you? What did those neck tattoos really mean? How did they find you? The Kings must know your face now, ever since the kidnapping incident, but did that mean you were a target now? Why? There had to be more to this than the original complaint about your attack on their men ages ago…

 

“hey! y/n!” Stretch called out, waving his hand in your face. “you there?”

 

“Huh? Yeah?” you looked up, noticing that you had both walked some distance while you were lost in thought. Huh, your hands were still connected too. Weird. That realization didn’t make you blush at all.

 

“i said,” he repeated, looking at you with some concern, “this is it.” he gestured to a little hole-in-the-wall bar called…

 

“Swapette’s Bar?” you found yourself grinning. “I’ve been wanting to come here!”

 

“oh, you’ve heard of it?” Stretch asked, holding the door open for you. 

 

“Yeah, it’s where we found Red that one night.” You caught the look of regret that passed over his skull, and quickly moved on. “But i love spiders, and i haven’t had time to come by. Work’s been running me ragged lately.”

 

“yeah, i noticed you’ve been working a lot. you seem pretty exhausted.” He led the way to the bar, where a purple spider monster was wiping down the counter. Looking closely, you could note little differences between her and Widow. Swapette’s fur was a lighter shade of lilac, and her hair was longer than Muffet’s. She also seemed a little thicker, and her fur looked a little longer. “so,” stretch smiled at you, “let’s just relax here.”

 

That sounded lovely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yyyyeah, theres a lot going on here. hope its not too much, cuz next chapter is gonna be even busier. XD thanks for sticking with me these past few months when i havent been able to post much, but i hope you're still enjoying this and other stories! i love you guys, and you keep doing your best. even if your best is different from day to day, thats fine! i see you trying, and i love you all the more for it. <3
> 
> want bonus short stories and insights into the characters? Follow my tumblr for update and bonus content! and if you have a few dollars to spare, hit up that ko-fi link.  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> wanna talk to me and ask skelebros questions? come by my discord server! sometimes im even online in class hahaha dont tell my teachers. its college so its not like it matters anyway.  
> https://discord.gg/tFDQY5W
> 
> in the next chapter: the lost boys get up to some trouble. skulls no, dont do that-!


	42. Theres A Lot of Excitement And You Miss Out On Most Of It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last time in the itch: you go on a lovely date with Stretch, which is interrupted by people frm another gang tailing you! So you go into Swapettes. Meanwhile, Sans goes... somewhere, leaving behind the Lost clan (horrortale) brothers at home alone.
> 
> so school sure has been.... something. taking two gyms after just starting recovery from years of muscle atrophy? not fun. but my college requires it........ wish me luck. meanwhile, i hope you enjoy this chapter! its really meaty, with a lot happening.
> 
> including leading into a spin off. if you havent already, check out LOVEshack, a partner fic to this that follows an interlinked story in this same timeline.

People walked in and out of the main building all the time. They also wandered between the tall metal structures littered around the place, doing various checks and mechanical work. But he couldn’t see anything suspicious. A couple humans had those crown tattoos, but that didn’t mean they didn’t just work there. Sans checked his phone, noting that you and Stretch had gone to Swapette’s. He could probably stay late out here even after you both came home, as long as he was home for dinner. Paps, Edge, Blue, and Red were all at work now, and as long as he made it home for dinner they probably wouldn’t think anything of it. Yeah, he could stay here a while. It would be fine.

 

And yet he couldn’t help but feel like he had left the stove on or something.

  
  
  


“paps, ya left the stove on,” skulls said as he turned off said stove. Thankfully nothing had been left on the burner.

 

“APOLOGIES BROTHER! I GOT VERY EXCITED TO COOK EGGS! THE OTHER ME WAS DOING IT THIS MORNING AND I WANTED TO TRY!” Roman strode into the kitchen, smiling brightly. “BUT SKULLS, YOU MUST CALL ME ROMAN HERE! WE MUST GET USED TO OUR NEW NAMES IN THIS NEW HOME!”

 

Skulls rolled his eye light. “this ain’t our home, paps-”

 

“ROMAN!”

 

“-yeah, fine, whatever. but a place full of paranoid baby bones and their human ain’t home. a place where you’re trapped ain’t a home.” and stars, it smelled like human, it smelled like a meal to give papyrus, it smelled like a  _ threat _ . Not only were they living with a human adult, they were living with a fucking  _ murderer _ . So yeah, Skulls was feeling just peachy being stuck here. “ya know, vanilla ain’t around. waddya say we go out?”

 

“HMM… THE OTHER MES AND YOUS WILL BE UPSET.”

 

“then we just get back before they do. just an hour or two, find a nice forest to run around in or go shopping or something.” His hand clenched in his pocket, crumpling the dollars he had been slowly stealing from the human’s room.

 

“WELL… I  _ DID  _ WANT TO TRY NEW CANDIES…” Roman fiddled with his gloves. “AND YOU’RE SURE WE CAN GET BACK FIRST? I DON’T WANT THEM TO GET ANGRY AND PUNISH US.” he had found that he very much liked the internet!

 

“yeah, don’t worry.” Skulls looked down at the phone he had stolen off of Red that morning. “i got this covered.”

  
  
  


As you walked into the bar, you looked around, trying to really soak in everything. Last time you had come here, you had been distracted by your concern for Red, as well as… well, the other events that night with Edge. Who you still haven’t forgiven. The place had far fewer spiders and webs when compared to the bakery where Muffet and Widow worked. In fact, there were almost no webs, only warmly colored lace around, and the spiders mostly seemed to be in the back, behind the counter. Swapette looked up and smiled as Stretch came in, immediately launching into rapid-fire sign language.

 

“whoa, mu-swapette, you know i cant keep up when ya use more than four hands at a time,” Stretch chuckled, sitting down at the bar. You followed suit. “so try again. oh, an this is my date, y/n.”

 

You waved. “Nice place. It feels… warm. Could use more spiders, though.”

 

Swapette tittered at that, a soft laugh that was more seen in the bouncing of her many shoulders than heard through any noise. You had to listen closely to hear it at all, in fact. “... thank you…” she said, just as softly. Then she signed a bunch to Stretch, which you couldn’t read, but it had him blushing.

 

“how bout you just get us a couple of sandwiches?” He said, face still orange as he rubbed at the back of his skull. “and cream sodas.” she gave a quick nod, smiled at you, and went into the kitchens in the back.

 

“So, what did she say?” You asked, turning to your… date. What a weird thought; even though you had just discovered you were being tailed by Kings members, this was still a date. Wild. 

 

“oh, uh, she wanted to know if we were dating,” Stretch said with a chuckle. “i told her i was working on it.”

 

You lightly punched him. “Oh my fuck, dude, you can’t just say things like that!” totally not blushing. “That’s what Red said to Skulls, too…”

 

“... did he now?” Stretch frowned, brow creasing. No, he couldn’t be mad at Red. the human wasn’t attached, they could all hit on her… but Red, of all people? The one with the highest LV? How could he not be a bad influence on the already violent human. “so, uh, what you been doin’ lately?”

 

“Ugh, work, work, and more work,” you groaned as the food was slid in front of you. The sandwiches looked good. “I hate working at the casino! The bartender, who’s my boss, is a slavedriver. She keeps me going, and for some reason she’s gotten super strict about breaks all of a sudden, like she’s trying to wear me down. I think i pissed her off or something.” you munched angrily, but it turned out to be the best sandwich you had ever eaten. You ravenously attacked the food, to which Stretch chuckled, not seeming to mind your lack of manners.

 

“sounds like a pain. what about your, uh, other work?”

 

Mouth full, you looked up at him, giving him a look of ‘really? Here?’ before chewing and swallowing. “I only do special jobs when i’m ordered to, and recently I haven’t been ordered to. How’s the translation of the stuff you found on my phone?”

 

Stretch began to sweat a little, taking a bite of his food to put off answering while he thought. “it’s just a bunch of numbers. we’re still working on it. but since it was in an unsupported font, we downloaded that to your phone so if another message comes through, you’ll be able to read it.”

 

You nodded, taking another bite of your delicious sandwich.

  
  
  


Skulls watched as his brother demolished another meat pie. Roman had been going through, ordering almost anything on the menu that had meat on it, to the horror of the waitstaff. The humans in the restaurant had mostly cleared out to make room for the large monsters, and the waiter assigned to them never came too close unless it was to drop food onto the table. It was just some run of the mill eatery, nothing too fancy, but Skulls had to admit it was amusing. He was glad Roman had picked this place to stop at. His red eye shifted to land on the waiter, who was looking nervous in the corner of the near empty store. The human nervously glanced at them, but his eyes flicked away quickly. Skulls’ grin widened.

 

“hey bro, you think you’re good for now?”

 

Roman looked up, before nodding and shoving the rest of the pie in his mouth. “IT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS! AND I SUPPOSE I AM FULL. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME! THEY NEVER MAKE ENOUGH AT HOME.”

 

Skulls winced at his brother referring to that place as ‘home’, but shook it off, waving at the waiter. “hey, human.”

 

The waiter jogged over. “Y-yes?”

 

“gimme the bill.”

 

“Yes sir!” he seemed relieved that they would finally be leaving. Who wouldn’t be? They were somewhat used to monsters coming by, but never any as intimidating as these two! For one, the tall one was huge, his teeth looked like they were bleeding, and watching a skeleton eat was downright disturbing. The shorter one, while he mostly looked normal, was somehow even more terrifying. He looked a lot less like a monster and more like a zombie with that huge crack in his head, and that one eye… he just kept  _ staring _ . Like he was gonna kill someone! He looked super angry, despite his wide smile. And while the tall one had gone through at least five appetizers, the short one hadn’t touched a thing. The rest of the staff seemed equally excited to get these monsters out, and the waiter was back with the check in less than a minute.

 

Skulls paid and left a huge tip before the two of them walked out. “thanks for the meal.” he said with a wink at the waiter.

 

“THIS HAS BEEN REALLY FUN!” Roman exclaimed as they walked down the street, stopping every five seconds for the tall skeleton to lean down and gawk at something in the windows. Sometimes they even went inside, and Roman now held several bags full of random knick knacks. People and monsters alike stared and avoided them, and Skulls made a note that he hadn’t seen any other members of his underground out and about, except one who was being escorted by several other monsters. Probably their ‘host family’. “BUT WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MONEY?”

 

“does it matter?” Skulls said with a shrug.

 

“A LITTLE. I WAS NOT AWARE WE HAD A STIPEND FROM QUEEN UNDYNE, BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE QUITE A LOT!” Roman squinted curiously down at his brother.

 

Ugh, hearing him say the name of the fish bitch had Skulls grinding his teeth. “picked it up here an’ there.” not really a lie. “you ready to head back?”

 

“I SUPPOSE WE  _ SHOULD  _ BE GETTING BACK SOON…” 

 

With that concession, they began the long walk back. The bustling shopping center faded away to just a few businesses, to just road on one side and trees on the other. Skulls looked longingly into the trees, but they weren’t even deep enough to hide the suburbs on the other side. He turned away from them. Later. There would be time for that later. The suburbs swallowed them all too soon as they made the way to the house. It was quiet and empty outside, besides one guy mowing his lawn and a car pulling out of a driveway. Anyone who had been outside probably bolted when they saw these brothers coming down the road. Whatever. They could hide if it made them feel better. Skulls knew they were there. Finding them would be easy. If he wanted to. But lucky for them, he’d much rather go back and binge a season of mythbusters.

 

When they reached the house, Skulls carefully opened the door, listening intently for any noise. No one should be home yet… but he heard the rustle of paper in Vanilla’s room. Well shit. “sounds like vanilla is back bro. You go put your stuff away, i’ll talk to him.”

 

“ALRIGHT SKULLS!” stars he hated his brother calling him that. “I WILL LET YOU TAKE CARE OF IT!”

 

Skulls just nodded as he walked over to the room. The rustling had stopped as soon as Roman spoke, so Sans was probably gonna come out and lecture them. But he didn’t. In fact, as Skulls approached, he distinctly heard the sound of a window being pulled open. He made it to the door in three steps, yanked the door open, and stepped inside just as the human in a mask kicked the window screen out and dived out the window before Skulls could get to him. Ooooh no, that just wouldn’t do.

 

“paps!” Skulls roared, “we got an intruder in the backyard!” he teleported to the window to see the human running across the backyard, but then there was a shadow that fell from the sky, solidifying to show that Roman had simply jumped down from the third floor. The monstrously tall skeleton easily caught up in just a few strides, and scooped up the uninvited guest. Skulls grinned. He hadn’t had to do a thing. Roman pinned the human’s arms to their sides, holding them out so as to avoid any of the wild kicks aimed his way.

 

“Put me down you giant fucker! I’m leaving, i’m leaving! I didn’t take shit!” a string of similar boisterous protests kept coming as the captive struggled, but the fear in their voice was evident.

 

“THIS ONE IS NOT VERY POLITE, IS HE?” Roman said as he reached the window, bending down a bit to meet his brother’s eyes. “WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH HIM?”

 

Skulls looked down at the papers strewn on the desk. Papers on… quite a number of things. Most of it was written in some sort of symbols that Skulls couldn’t quite… no, wait… he could sort of read them. Bits and pieces, but it made his skull ache. Reports on magic fluctuations, progress on several machines, blue, void, cyan… the hell was Vanilla doing? But whatever. He didn’t really care. He was much more interested in why this human was in here.

 

**“shut up kid.”**

 

“BROTHER! THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE IMPOLITE AS WELL!” Roman regarded the window, and put one foot through the open space to land inside the house. He ducked his form as much as he could, and tried to get in through the window, but he didn’t quite fit. He hit the glass above and it cracked and shattered, falling into the room. “AH. WHOOPSIE.” with a shrug he came in the rest of the way, breaking the rest of the window and hitting their captive’s head on the side on the way in.

 

He wasn’t listening, though, completely focused on the human who had stopped talking. “got some questions. the most obvious being: what are you doing here?”

 

The person seemed to be thinking carefully on their answer. “A favor. I’m helping y/n.”  

Spat the human. The human was having people go through their rooms?! His eyelight narrowed. “and why the hell is she asking you to go through our private rooms?” he growled, before yanking off the person’s mask to see their pale but angry human face.

 

“Well she doesn’t exactly know i’m doing this,” Jackie said, “but we- I’m just trying to protect her.” Jackie was not having the best day. He had been called from a video game day to come and break into Fang’s house, since no one was home for the first time in forever, and Boss didn’t trust anyone else to do it. Breaking in hadn’t been hard, as the last morons to go out had left the door unlocked, but once inside he wasn’t sure what to go for, since the house was so damn big. Otherwise he might’ve left before now. He was gonna kill his lookout when he got out of this for not warning him.

 

Skulls was unimpressed. “so you regularly sneak into you friends houses to help them?”

 

“Don’t think that’s any of your business. Can i go now?”

 

“hmm... nah, i think i wanna know more than that. why were you in  _ this  _ room?”

 

“Let me go now, before i start trouble.” Jackie replied darkly. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

 

Skulls’ eye narrowed again, to a mere pinprick. “ _ you _ don’t want to hurt anyone? works for me.” and his bony arm shot out, faster than anyone in the room expected, and grabbed Jackie’s left arm. And audible crack echoed through the room, and Jackie grit his teeth, biting back a scream of pain. “huh. tougher than expected.”

 

“BROTHER WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” Roman shrieked, dropping the human to the floor. “WE DON’T NEED TO HURT HUMANS ANYMORE! AND HE WASN’T ATTACKING!”

 

“he might have. sounded like he was threatening us.” Skulls whole posture was rigid, staring at the human on the floor before his eye flicked up to his brother. “gotta show him he shouldn’t do that.”

 

“what the hell… are you doing in my room?” the brothers turned to the door, which creaked open to reveal a very tired and angry looking Sans. “and who the fuck is that?!” he pointed to the human scrambling out the window.

 

Roman looked between the human and his brother, trying to decide if he should do anything, but then Jackie fell the rest of the way out the window and ran off. No one made any movement to pursue him, simply stunned by the oddity of the situation. Plus that fall out the window was pretty comical. “... HE WAS AN INTRUDER!” Roman finally answered.

 

Sans sighed, rubbing one of his temples. “you broke his arm.” it wasn’t a question, but Skulls shrugged. “you broke my window. and…” his gaze shifted to the desk, and his eye lights widened. “and you looked at my notes.” his voice hardened in the last sentence. “you... you can’t do that. you... i can’t do this anymore. i’m not gonna be tied to my house babysitting you. even if you didn’t leave the house you still…” Roman shifted nervously, and Sans’ eye lights shot over to him. “... you left the house.”

 

“hey. it was my idea,” Skulls said, stepping in front of his brother calmly, hands in his pockets. “so go fuck yourself.”

 

Sans glared at Skulls, eye light flashing yellow and blue as a light smoke began to float from that socket. “i can’t keep watching you guys, taking you to therapy twice a week, worried about what you’re doing, sneaking into y/n’s room at night… no. no more.”

 

“we getting a new host family then?” Skulls asked, feeling triumphant. Behind him, his brother wrung his gloved hands nervously. He didn’t like the tone this other Sans was using.

 

Suddenly, Sans seemed to calm down. His white eye lights snapped back into place, and he shoved his hands in his pockets, grinning easily at the other two. “nope.”

 

“TH-THEN WHAT?!” Roman finally speaking up. This was not good for his anxiety.

 

“you’re going to stay in this little place i set up. and you’re getting a different roommate.”

  
  
  


Stretch opened the door for you as you waved goodbye to Swapette, tummy full of sandwich and the best cream sodas you had ever tasted.

 

“That was amazing. I no longer see why i should ever eat at a human restaurant ever again,” you said happily, patting your full stomach as you made towards home.

 

Stretch chuckled. “yeah, we know the best places in the monster district. two lunches. good date?” he snuck his hand into yours so nonchalantly that you didn’t even notice for a few seconds.

 

“Uh, y-yeah.” Dammit, were you getting flustered over hand holding? Maybe a little. “Good date.” you gave his hand an experimental squeeze, feeling his bones against your skin. Their warmth surprised you every time…

 

“good.” you walked quietly, hand in hand, for a bit longer.

 

“You aren’t gonna teleport us home?”

 

He lit up in a light orange blush. “ah, i uh, kinda wanna hold your hand for longer.”

 

“... oh.”

 

“not that you have to! hold my hand, i mean.”

 

“No, it’s…” what was it? You were a little embarrassed, but it wasn’t bad. Plus, you cuddled with the guys on the couch all the time! It was kinda like that, you thought. The comfort of having someone near you, and the physically grounding aspect of being touched. But with it… there was a feeling of being… wanted. Not just there, but like… someone wanted you there. Like a smaller, longer hug. For your hand. “It’s nice,” you decided.

 

“... yeah. it is.” there was another stretch of companionable silence. “you know, i didn’t like you much when we first met.”

 

You snorted. “Yeah, i got that impression.”

 

“but then i spent time with you. got to know you a bit better. and… you’re a pretty cool human. i have fun hanging out.” He looked down at you and winked. You were convinced by now that they were absolutely not made of bone, even if they looked like it.

 

Oh fuck, he’d better not be about to ask you out or some shit, that would make this great date so awkward; you didn’t know if you wanted to date him! “I had fun too,” you replied cautiously. He paused, and you hadn’t even realized you had walked into an alley. How long had you been letting him lead you? He turned to face you, and your heart jumped into your throat. He brought his free hand up to your face, running a phalange over your lips, and despite yourself, you found your eyes fluttering closed at his touch.

 

“heh. you look like you wanted me to kiss you.” Your eyes snapped open, your face heated. He had your chin in his hand still, and was looking down at you with an amused expression. “was just getting some crumbs off.” his sockets seemed trained on your lips. “but if you don't mind…” he brought his skull down to your face, and you found your eyes fluttering closed again. Kissing was fine, not nearly as complicated as feelings. You liked kissing. So you kissed Stretch.

 

It was nothing like your kiss with Edge. that had been a chaste brush of his teeth against your lips, but this… his teeth pressed against your lips, minute movements giving you friction. His bones didn’t feel exactly hard, they were almost like a tough rubber, yielding slightly. He was warm, and his hand released yours as your arms naturally moved around each other. One of his hands tilted your head gently to kiss you better, and you moaned as something warm and wet pressed against your lips. You immediately pulled back, catching a glimpse of his tongue before it disappeared.

 

“ah, sorry, too much?” he asked nervously.

 

“Uh, n-no, just surprised.” you backed up, licking your lips. He tasted kind of like the cream sodas you had been drinking.

 

He was so relieved that he wanted to kiss you again right then and there, but you did seem a bit overwhelmed. He could have some self restraint… for now. “let’s head home then, yeah?”

  
  
  


Sans was lying down on the couch when you both got home, and you waved to him as you went up to your room.

 

“hey y/n,” Sans called, “wait a second.”

 

“Yeah?” you asked warily, still angry at him.

 

“i kicked them out.”

 

You blinked. “Who?”

 

“skulls and roman.”

 

Stretch walked over to Sans. “what? why? what happened?”

 

“i’m still gonna be keeping track of them,” Sans explained, starting the next episode of some documentary series. “but they’re not gonna live here anymore. found them a new place. just have to drive them out to therapy twice a week.”

 

Another blink, before a smile slowly broke out over your face. That was the best fucking news you had all day! But you kept it chill. “Cool. Night then, you guys.” You gave Stretch one more hug that lasted a beat longer than normal, and then left.

 

Stretch stayed behind. “what do you mean you found them another place? who’s watching them?”

 

“relax, i’m still watching them. they’re not gonna spill anything. don’t you have something else you’d like to ask?”

 

Stretch narrowed his sockets. He didn’t like this, not at all. Sans had always had secrets, and he hadn’t pried, but he wasn’t sure if this guy always made the best decisions. Especially when he didn’t talk to anyone else. Like with the machines. “fine, how’d the stakeout go?”

 

“didn’t learn much, couldn’t tell if it was being used for something else. gonna get the floor plans soon so we can go in together.” Sans shifted his head a bit to look at the other. “assuming you still want in on this?”

 

“yes, i do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come see my tumblr for bonus content: https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/  
> find me on twitter: @stripesnbooks
> 
> if you enjoyed this and you have a spare dollar, consider buying me a ko-fi! the link is on my tumblr!
> 
> and remember: i love you. you just keep doing your best, whatever that means for you today, and take care of yourself.


	43. Another Meeting, and a Talk With Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm still here! Not dead, promise. Just getting ready for graduation and starting my new job! Damn, been a while though...
> 
> Last time on The Itch: We went on a date with Stretch.... and smooched him! Meanwhile, Sans went to look at the mysterious chemical plant that might hold our friend Reap. The Lost Clan brothers went for an unsupervised romp around town, and got kicked out of the house. There sure has been a lot going on lately!

It had been a long time since Boss called you. Well, it had been only a couple weeks, but it felt like a long time. But the other day they had called you and let you know that there was a Pin meeting today. Walking downstairs to your bike, you passed Red and Sans on the couch. Sans sat up a little and turned to you.

 

“hey, where you going? we were gonna watch something, if you want.” Sans reached out to catch your wrist, and gave you a smile. He had been talking to you more the past couple days, and you were about ready to forgive him. Especially with the lost clan brothers gone.

 

“We can watch something when i get back?” you suggested, gently pulling your wrist away. You had learned that the shorter skeletons (it was still near impossible to think of them as alternate universe versions of the same person) were masters of distraction. And you could not afford to be late.

 

“ah, come on doll, we were gonna catch up with the new superhero movies, and I ain’t waitin’ for ya to watch em,” red said, popping up behind and and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, waving the television remote tantalizingly.

 

“Low blow!” You protested, removing his arms from your person. Someone was clingy today. “I’ll be back before dinner, just watch your dumb documentaries until then!”

 

“hmm... nah,” Red said, grinning evilly.

 

You stuck your tongue out before turning and leaving. The sun was too bright, but you made your way over to your bike. For a second, you just looked around. The neighbors hadn’t bothered you in a while, and the few walking around looked so… peaceful. Some guy was mowing his lawn. A woman was walking her dog with her kid. And you were going to a meeting with a bunch of other killers just like you. Life… was strange. Full of contradictions. But you hopped on your bike and drove out. Just as you turned the kid with the mom turned and waved at you, a smile on their face. You didn’t wave back.

  
  
  


Boss’s house was messier than last time when you walked inside. “Boss?” You called into the dark house.

 

“Gimme a minute!” Their voice called back, before they appeared before you, as imposing and well dressed as usual. They cracked a smile and their ice blue eyes flashed down at you. “Glad to see you’ve recovered well.” 

 

You grinned back. “Well enough to take real jobs instead of casino bulshit. Come ooooon, i’m so sick of working under Cherry.”

 

“We’ll see,” they answered with a pat to your head. “Let’s go, I’m driving.”

 

Upon entering the meeting room, The tables were already out, and Cherry and Dragon were seated in their own chairs. To your surprise, Cherry’s potential from last time was back. What was his name… something computery? Floppy disc? The three of them acknowledged you and Boss as you came into the room.

 

“You’re really early,” you observed.

 

Cheryl’s lips curved into a smile. “We had an… event earlier today. Most of the others are already here as well.”

 

“An event?” You frowned. How come you didn’t know about it?

 

“An event,” came Jackie’s smug voice from the door as you pulled out a chair for yourself. You turned to face him, and immediately caught sight of the white horse head pin on his jacket.

 

Jackie had gotten his pin. You gave him a thumbs up. “Congrats dude, you earned it somehow, I’m sure.” But then you noticed the cast. “What happened to your arm?”

 

You didn’t quite catch the glace exchanged between Jackie and Boss before he answered. “Had a rough mission.”

 

The rest began to file in as well, Box with multiple guards or potentials, Anny with his one potential, Rabbit, and then you locked the doors and the meeting began.

 

“The Kings attacks have gotten bolder,” Cherry reported. “They attempted to stop another shipment the other day, and Fang reported them following her around the other day.” You nodded in acknowledgement of your report. You had provided details of your altercation on your date, since it seemed important. “I believe they are trying to create some sort of superhuman slaves. People who don’t normally fit with Kings members have been seen with crown tattoos on their necks, doing acts of abnormal difficulty.”

 

“Define abnormal, Cherry,” Boss said with a frown.

 

It was Anny who spoke up, though. “Throwing cars. Punching into buildings. There was an attack on one of my gyms the other day where they punched through a brick wall, and didn’t even seem to bleed. They came to the ring once and managed to get a few fights in where they just took out their opponents with one hit. Then we saw their mark and kicked em out. Them and their escort, a legit Kings member, didn’t put up a fight, but…”

 

The table was quiet for a moment as that sunk in. They were creating some kind of fucking superhuman?! How, why? But then you remembered something. “Mugs, you said they didn’t bleed?”

 

Anny looked up at you and nodded. “Yeah, usually punching brick would wreck someone’s hand, but there wasn’t any blood there when they left.”

 

“What about white stuff?” Anny frowned at you. “During that mission when we were briefly captured, they bled, but not red blood. It was white.”

 

He appeared to think for a moment. “I don’t remember seeing any, but we weren’t expecting white blood. Weren’t looking for it. Can check later this week.”

 

Boss nodded. “Do that, Mugs. Wolf,” they turned to Jackie, “we’re gonna need increased security around the edges of our territory.” Jackie nodded. “Dragon, how’s this affecting our finances?”

 

“We’re having to pay for a lot of repairs and medical expenses, but we’re still fine as long as our shipments keep making it through.”

 

As the meeting continued you couldn’t help but think of the Kings. Slavers. Assholes. Monster haters. You kind of wanted to kill them. A lot. You hoped Boss would put you on a mission to raid one of their meetings. Or better yet, one of their slaving rings. Free some of those innocent people…

 

“Fang.” Your head snapped up as Boss addressed you. “Have you thought about your pin nomination? Are you willing to accept?”

 

All eyes were on you. You breath caught in the back of your throat. You had thought about it. A little. Before all the mess that had been happening recently. But you hadn’t reached any decision. There was a part of you that was saying this was an opportunity that wasn’t going to come again, that you would be a fool to pass it up. But were you ready? You didn’t feel ready. You didn’t even know if you wanted this, and how could you… what if you just let everyone down? Boss was clearly expecting a lot from you, but were they right to? Could you live up to their expectations? And your roommates, your skeletons… Papyrus and Blue would be disappointed, Edge would look down on you, Stretch and Red would stop liking you, Sans… Sans would hate you again. When you had finally gotten back on good terms with him. But… this wasn’t their decision. It was yours. Boss was looking at you with serious eyes, and you decided, in that moment, to lie. “I’m ready and willing.”

  
  


Edge wasn’t sure how to talk to you. Ever since that night where they had to hunt down his idiot brother and he… he…

 

“NYEH!” He buried his face in his hands, red light of his blush leaking through. Why had he kissed you?! There were a million answers, really: to shut you up, to show he wouldn’t fight, to startle you out of whatever it was you were thinking, to show you he cared, because you looked about to cry, because your lips looked so soft and inviting, because he was caught up in emotions and the heat of the moment…

 

He didn’t know how to handle it. He had acted like it never happened, and you seemed content to do the same. But he didn’t want to act like it never happened! He maybe… even wanted it to happen again. He had been avoiding you the past couple days, in fear that he might buckle and kiss you again. It had felt so good, so right, and these past few days you had smelled so good… that had actually been confusing. It was a bit like a heat smell, but not as strong, so it couldn’t be. But it made him want to hold you, or carry you around like Papyrus did sometimes… with a sigh, he opened up his drawer and pulled out a small box. Opening it up, he took out the bullet that had hit you both, although you had obviously taken more damage. But it had pierced you both that night. Perhaps like cupid’s arrow. Edge snorted at the ridiculous thought. He was better for you than the creampuff. He was stronger, had fought more, could understand you better, he was sure. Fuck. he wanted you to be his.

 

His phalanges curled around the small piece of metal, his sockets drifting closed. Asgore’s beard, this was complicated. His brother liked you as well, obviously, and he had already taken so much from Red… but then he had an idea. He sent his brother a text, and in seconds Red appeared in his room.

 

“sup boss, was in the middle of a show?” Red crossed his arms and leveled a questioning look at Edge.

 

“I… WISH TO TALK ABOUT THE HUMAN.”

 

Red gave an easy grin. “what about her, hm?” how could he forget. Boss liked you. He didn’t have any right to make a move on you. He needed to stop.

 

“WE BOTH… LIKE HER. IN A ROMANTIC WAY. YES?”

 

Well that was a loaded question. Red began to sweat. “w-well, dunno about romantic, but she sure is hot.”

 

Edge sighed, rubbing at his nasal ridge. “PLEASE, BROTHER. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN GAMES OR YOU TRYING TO SPARE MY FEELINGS. I WAS MERELY GOING TO SUGGEST WE BOTH COURT HER.”

 

A blink. “wha?”

 

“IT WAS NOT UNCOMMON UNDERGROUND. WE SIMPLY ASK IF SHE WISHES TO BE DATEMATE TO… BOTH OF US.” His face was flushed red in embarrassment as he crossed his arms. “AFTER WE MAKE IT CLEAR THAT WE ARE SUPERIOR DATEMATES TO THE OTHERS, OF COURSE. B-BUT IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SHARING, THEN WE CAN COMPETE FAIRLY.”

 

“wha, no boss, that’s not what i…” Red waved his hands, trying to stop the words from his brothers mouth. “i just didn’t think  _ you’d  _ be into sharin’. but if there was anyone i’d be okay sharin’ with, it’d be you boss.”

 

Edge’s teeth seemed to twitch up in a smile. “GOOD. WE CAN BRING IT UP AT SOME POINT ONCE WE HAVE PROVED OURSELVES THE BEST POTENTIAL DATEMATES. AND, BROTHER…” he took a deep breath, “YOU NEEDN’T REFER TO ME AS BOSS. WE’RE EQUALS NOW.”

 

“... yeah. okay… papyrus.”

  
  
  


It seemed that as soon as you stepped in through the front door, Edge took your hand and pulled you into the kitchen.

 

“Whoa, Edge, what the fuck?!” You stumbled after him, trying to get off your other shoe, having only managed the first before being grabbed.

 

“ WE ARE MAKING DINNER TOGETHER, AND I WISH TO TALK  TO YOU.” He snapped, loosening his grip a bit. “I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING ROUGH ABOUT IT.”

 

You relented a bit, frowning. With a longing glance to the television, you passed by the living room into the kitchen. “We can talk, but I’m not cooking anything. I’m not much help in the kitchen.” You had recipes, but you were a decent cook at best. It was hard to want to cook when you were in a house with people who could cook so much better than you.

 

“WE CAN TALK AND COOK AT THE SAME TIME. HOWEVER AS HEAD CHEF, YOU WILL FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS.” You finally arrived in the kitchen, and the skeleton pulled off his gloves and washed his hands. Bones. Hand bones. Edge went to the fridge and pulled out some ground beef. Of course, his favorite dish to make was lasagna after all. “GET OUT A LARGE BOWL.”   
  


“Okay,” you said, finding a large metal bowl. “So, we gonna talk about when you kissed me?”

 

He let out a choking sound before practically slamming the meat into the bowl with a wet squish. “YES. AMONG OTHER THINGS. I… APOLOGIZE FOR KISSING YOU. FETCH THE CAYENNE, GARLIC SALT, AN EGG, AND A COUPLE ONIONS.”

 

Why did that… hurt a little? “So you didn’t want to kiss me?” You were frowning as you fetched the ingredients and brought them back to Edge.

 

“NO I, I MEAN YES? AND NO? I WOULD RATHER HAVE- THE CIRCUMSTANCES WERE WRONG FOR IT, AND I DID IT WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. SO I APOLOGIZED. ISN’T THAT WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO?” He frowned, upset. This already wasn’t going well. “TWO TABLESPOONS OF EACH SPICE INTO THE BOWL, AND CRACK THE EGG IN THERE.”

 

You did as you were told. “So why’d you do it then? I admit it… sorta made me come to my senses, since I wasn’t expecting it, but…” you crossed your arms, facing away from him.

 

He began to mix the additions into the meat with his hands, mashing it all together. “CHOP THE ONIONS INTO SMALL PIECES. I… I WAS CARRIED AWAY. AND… SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SAID… REMINDED ME OF MYSELF. Y/N, I WISH TO BE CANDID WITH YOU. I… I HAVE FEELINGS. FOR YOU. ROMANTICALLY.” the meat squished unpleasantly between his bones, but it helped to ground him.

 

Okay. cool cool cool. How the hell do you respond to a confession like that?! “Oh. uh. Thanks.” Shit! Abort! Abort!

 

He frowned down at you. “ARE YOU TAKING ME SERIOUSLY?”

 

“Yeah! Yeah. totally serious.” That didn’t sound super believable. To cover up the awkwardness, you got out a cutting board and started cutting the onions.

 

“THEN LET’S GO ON A DATE SOMETIME.”

 

“Um. okay. Yeah, sure.” What the hell would a date with Edge be like?! A three hour long sparring session?!

 

He formed the meat into patties and started putting them on a pan that he must have gotten out earlier. The meat sizzled as he put them on. “IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO, THEN SAY SO! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?”

 

You frowned at him. “I want to! I’m just crying because of the onions!” Ugh, it was true, you eyes were watery as hell and starting to sting.

 

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND! WHY DO ONIONS MAKE YOU SAD?!”

 

How do you explain-?! “Humans are allergic to onions!”

 

“THIS IS A LIE! I HAVE SEEN YOU EAT ONIONS, AND OTHER HUMANS CONSUME THEM OFTEN! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY CRYING BECAUSE YOU ARE HAPPY THAT I ASKED YOU ON A DATE! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU ALREADY HARBOR FEELINGS FOR ME!”

 

“WHAT?! Fuck no, it’s just! The onion juice! When you cut onions it gets in the air and in my eyes and it hurts like hell!”

 

“NO NEED TO MAKE EXCUSES, IT IS FINE IF YOU WISH TO IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS FOR NOW.”

 

“I already said that’s not it! Look it up online if you don’t believe me!” You dropped the knife, wiping at your eyes with your sleeves. Unfortunately, your sleeves were covered in painful onion juice. “Fuck! What are you even making?!”

 

“HAMBURGERS!”

 

“I thought you hated greasy foods or something? Fuck it, i’m going to wash this shit out of my eyes.” You flipped him off and left to go to the downstairs bathroom.

 

Edge frowned, disapproving, at your vulgar hand gesture. “What has Sans been telling you… I don’t  _ hate  _ burgers. Plus.” He turned back to the stovetop, flipping the patties over. “ _ You _ like them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! For bonus content and to talk to our characters, come see me at my tumblr,  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/  
> if you've got a few spare dollars, hit the kofi link on that page!  
> theres also my twitter that i try to remember to update, @stripesnbooks
> 
> Next time: Unexpected Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Stripesnbooks here. this is sort of a teaser for a project I'm considering doing after I finish up one of my others. I have a couple other stories I'm thinking of doing, but I'll move them to the backburner if some people show interest in seeing more of this.
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> I was having too much fun planning this, so I'm gonna start working on it regularly! My goal is to upload a new chapter every other Wednesday. I hope you guys enjoy it; i live for the kudos and especially the comments. And maybe, if you suggest something you want to see, I'll add it in for you. ;)


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